“Who says that?”
“You know…them.” Lame. She was lame. “Just let me help you.”
His mouth went firm again and he pushed off the couch and strode away from her. “I don’t want your pity.”
Without thinking, she followed. “I don’t pity you. I…commiserate with you.”
“And that’s not the same thing?”
“No. Pity is, ‘oh, boohoo, poor Dell.’ Commiserate is…’oh, that sucks. Maybe I can help in this mutually beneficial way.’”
He leaned against his kitchen counter, arms folded across his chest. “Splitting hairs.”
“Well, so be it. Don’t be silly about taking help.”
His expression darkened immediately. “I’m not silly.”
Mia rolled her eyes. Dell might be hot, confident and smart, but he was not without his faults or insecurities. That was actually a little bit of a relief. “You really have a hang-up about that, you know?”
“About what?”
“You get all prickly when you think anyone even remotely insults your intelligence.”
“Maybe my intelligence gets insulted a lot. You weren’t the only one who had a rep in high school. One that’s been hard to shake.”
“Please. You were popular.”
“I was a pretty face. You remember Corrie Washington?”
“Why yes, I do believe you two were wearing your King and Queen of the World tiaras when you called me names.”
“Did you know she broke up with me?”
“Well…” No, she hadn’t known that. She hadn’t been privy to all the gossip in those days. She’d just figured they’d gone their separate ways because of college.
“Dell,” he began in a high-pitched voice, “You’re hot and a really great kisser, but I need someone who will stimulate me, you know, intellectually.” He rolled his eyes. “Apparently that meant dating some twenty-one-year-old philosophy major that summer.”
“Ew. We were, like, seventeen.”
“You’re missing the point. The point is, I’ve had enough of being treated like an idiot, and I thought you were one of the few people who wouldn’t.”
Really, Dell getting dumped by one girl because he wasn’t a college student wasn’t anything compared to eighteen years of doing embarrassing things, but she liked that he thought she understood him. That she treated him better than a lot of other people had.
Yeah, she liked that a lot. Maybe too much.
“Well, we both know you’re not stupid, so you should stop being such a baby about it.” The second “baby” came out of her mouth she realized she was sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, being kind of pushy and maybe even a little harsh. Which probably wasn’t the way to endear herself to someone she was hoping would help her with the whole virginity thing.
He glared at her and Mia tried to go for a self-deprecating smile.
“Maybe there just isn’t a point to it anymore,” he said.
His defeat broke her heart a little. Insult forgotten, she crossed to him and touched his face, thinking so much about offering comfort she didn’t even feel self-conscious about it until it was too late.
“There’s always a point if it’s something you love this much. Why don’t you show me around while you think about the seed thing? Maybe my genius can come up with a few more ideas for your pea-sized brain.” It was a joke she prayed would go over well.
Her breath whooshed out in relief when he cracked a smile. “Well, Mia, you’re a lot tougher than I gave you credit for.”
“Guess I’ll take that as a compliment. So, going to show me around or what?”
“Can’t muck around in those shoes.” He pointed at her ballet flats. “I’ll scrounge you up a pair of boots.” He gave her a brief peck, then disappeared.
Mia gripped the counter. What was she doing? What on earth was she doing? Last night and dinner and making out on the couch had been one thing. One very fun thing, and that’s what she’d expected—and wanted—more of.
But this was serious, and she was in too deep. Invested in him and his farm and his insecurities, forgetting about herself. That was stupid. Stupid and dangerous and—
He reappeared with a pair of rubber boots and a grin. Thoughts of stupid and dangerous faded away.
He walked her around his portion of things, and they talked crops, CSA logistics, cold frames, weather. Everything under the sun and moon. He took her up to the pigpen on top of the hill. It overlooked his cabin and his fields, and the little piglets slept next to their mother in the pale moonlight.
“Oh, aren’t they sweet? I just love their little tails.” She leaned over the fence to get a better look. “Do they have names?”
“Sure. Bacon, pork chop, sausage.”
Mia thumped his chest. “Stop!” He was grinning and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling back. He was handsome all the time, but something about the dark and the starlight made him seem like something she’d conjured out of a dream.
He moved his gaze out across the fields below. All just shadows and edges in the evening dark. “Have you ever…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “Crazy.”
“What?”
He kept shaking his head. “It’s just sometimes…it feels like more.”
“More?”
“More than just me.” His throat moved as he swallowed, his eyes intense on the land in front of them. “The people who came before. Not like ghosts or anything, just…more than dirt and me and crops.”
It struck a chord, a deep one. Not just because his love for this place was admirable, but because she’d felt exactly that. It had been a salvation growing up. She hadn’t fit in at school or anywhere, really, but she’d fit in at home and knew she belonged to it.
“Crazy shit,” Dell muttered. “That’s what Dad and Charlie said when I brought it up once.”
Mia scowled. “It is not crazy and it is not shit. I’ve felt the same thing.”
He smiled, a little ruefully. “You don’t have to humor me, sugar.”
She elbowed him for the sugar, but then put her hand on his forearm and squeezed. “The back portion of my parents’ house isn’t used. It’s kind of falling apart and there just hasn’t been the time or money to fix it with the rest of the house. You know, that house was built in 1897. My grandfather was born there and…anyway, I used to sneak into the room. The ceiling was falling down, dust everywhere. A total mess, but…”
Mia swallowed, uncomfortable emotion closing her throat. She cleared it, took a little step away from Dell because she felt too close, and not just physically. “I felt that. Like you said, more than just me. More than just this time. It somehow made everything…more important. The house. The farm. I didn’t belong everywhere, but I could belong there.”
Uncomfortable with the depth of emotion, Mia tried to laugh it off. “We’ll, who knew I’d have so much in common with the Naked Farmer.”
He put his arm around her shoulder, pulled her close to him. Her head nestled right to his chest. “Thanks, Mia.” He kissed her hair and it was hard to push words out of her constricted throat.
“For what?”
“For reminding me it’s worth fighting for.”
Mia swallowed at the lump in her throat. Her heart was busy doing cartwheels and other acrobatics. She could live in this moment forever.
She was in so much trouble, and she didn’t even care.
Chapter Fourteen
Dell didn’t know how Mia had managed to flip the shit day on its head. He’d felt screwed six ways to Sunday before talking to her, but she’d reminded him what he was fighting for. And why. Maybe he would have gotten there on his own, but right now, walking down the hill hand in hand with her, he owed her some debt of gratitude.
Scared the bejesus out of him.
“Thought any more about it?”
He studied her profile in the dim light. He didn’t want her pity. He didn’t want Dad to know he’d had help to keep afloat, if he did in fact keep afloat, i
f Dad didn’t sell before he could…
But Mia’s offer would help, and could he turn that down? It was just a little help. A little mutual help. Like sharing a ride and splitting gas money. It didn’t make him look incapable. Long as no one found out about it. And she didn’t think he was incapable. She really didn’t.
“Guess if we’re buying the same seeds, wouldn’t be a terrible idea.” Dell let go of her hand, stepped onto the porch. It didn’t sit right. It just didn’t, but common sense overruled the shame of accepting her offer.
“Great! Do you want to make a list and figure out how we’re going to do it?” She babbled on about her ideas as they stepped inside, but he tuned it out. One step at a time. Accepting the help was one step, details and specifics would be another. For another time and place. A time and place when Mia wasn’t wearing a skirt. In his house. Alone.
“We can figure all that out later. Let’s change the subject.”
She blinked, cocked her head. “To what?”
“How about we pick up where we left off last night?” He plopped himself on the couch, then folded his arms behind his head and sent her a cocky grin.
She shook her head, clucked her tongue, but in the end she took a few steps toward him, pausing just within reach.
“And where did we leave off?”
“Hmm. I think we were about…” Dell pulled her to the couch, onto his lap, until they were in about the same position as last night. Except she was wearing a skirt, which rode up on her thighs but didn’t allow the same flexibility. Since she was wearing something on her legs under the skirt, tights or leggings or whatever nonsense, he edged the skirt up farther until her legs were free to press on either side of his. Even better, it allowed her to press against him. “Seems about right.”
“Actually, it was more like this.” She took his hands and put them on her waist, then with just a hint of pink to her cheeks and a moment of hesitation, she edged her shirt up a little so his fingers brushed the bare skin of her back.
Yeah, that’s exactly where they’d been. And it was exactly where he wanted to be. He smoothed his hands up her back. Soft, delicate. She was both those things, but underneath was lean muscle and a core of something he couldn’t identify. He’d think it confidence, but she was nervous, unsure.
Maybe it was just a clear sense of self, and acceptance of that. Whatever it was, it impressed him. Struck a chord with him. Something akin to affection and care and all the complicated things that went along with something more than fun.
But this was supposed to be fun. Fun until it wasn’t, because they weren’t right for each other. Eventually they were going to trip over the fact that they were competitors. They could ignore it for a while, but not forever.
Mia pressed a fingertip to his forehead, smoothing across the line there. “Thinking awfully hard for a man with a woman on his lap.”
Truer words never spoken. Dell forced himself to smile. “Trying not to press my luck.”
Her fingertip moved down the side of his face, across his jaw, and because he was kind of a screwed-up moron, he wanted to lean into the touch like a cat, nuzzle against her so she’d keep touching him like that.
“I think your luck is just fine.”
“You know, for someone who blurted out she was a virgin the first time I tried to kiss her, you sure have figured out the right things to say tonight.”
Her finger trailed down his neck. One damn finger making him just about crazy. “You caught me off guard that night. I prepared for tonight.”
He rubbed his palms across her back, down her sides. Though they itched to move farther forward, to touch cotton or lace or whatever fabric her bra would be made of, he wanted her to make the first move. Maybe it was a safeguard to make sure she was ready, willing…or maybe he just needed someone to show him they wanted him.
That thought bothered him enough to act instead of waiting for her. He traced a finger over the outline of the back band of her bra, then worked to unclasp it. She didn’t say anything, just pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.
“You know, I read once biting your lip is a sign of sexual frustration.”
She laughed and rolled her eyes. “If that were true, I’d have a permanent bite make there at this point.” She toyed with the top button if his shirt, then unbuttoned it. Just one button.
Her hands rested there, at the small space one undone button created, and Dell rubbed a palm up and down her spine, enjoying the feel of soft skin and the warmth of her body on his.
What was he doing? Usually it was jump ahead as quickly as his partner let him, but…he couldn’t. He didn’t want to. And he didn’t know what to do about that.
“Sometimes it’s surreal to stop and think, here I am,” she said, her voice low as she toyed with another button, released it. “Sitting in Dell Wainwright’s lap.” She smiled shyly, her fingers slowly, hesitantly making their way down the column of buttons.
Because this moment was strange and intense and foreign, he felt the need to make a joke. “The Santa thing again?”
“No! I just…this, you, weren’t exactly something I’d considered for myself. It’s a strange feeling to be so far from what I thought was possible.”
He wasn’t sure what to make of that. She kept her eyes fixed on his mouth, unmoving, then she lifted a finger and traced it across his bottom lip, a slow, exploratory journey that was way sexier than it should have been.
And then she kissed him. Screw good, bad, whatever. Didn’t matter with her mouth on his. Her hands traveled his chest, pushing apart his shirt. She was all bold moves followed by hesitation.
There was something irresistible about that mix of nerves on top of a drive and determination that didn’t seem to falter.
He trailed his fingertips over her skin, smoothed his palms around to her abdomen and then up to move her bra out of the way. He cupped her breasts, took his time exploring the curves, the weight, then brushed his thumbs across each nipple.
Her breath caught against his mouth, her hands slowly traveling down his stomach. The slow path of her fingers was both agonizing and amazing. He broke the kiss enough to pull off her shirt, exposing pale, gorgeous skin. Some flowery scent filled the room, her soap or perfume, whatever. It would stick with him long beyond this minute.
She moved against him and he pulled her closer, using his mouth to travel the column of her neck, down until he found her nipple with his tongue.
He lingered, tasting her, teasing her until her fingers moved through his hair and held him there.
He tried to keep the desperation out of his movements, but the more she rubbed against him, the farther down her fingers inched, the less control he had over the need to push up against her, to dig fingers into her hips and move her at his rhythm.
There were a million ways she could undo him. One more touch, one more kiss, and it’d all be over. “Want to go to the bedroom?” His breathing wasn’t remotely even.
She swiped her tongue across her bottom lip, eyes focused straight on him. After a moment, she nodded. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”
“Are you su—”
“Don’t ask me if I’m sure. I said yes. I’m sure.”
Best damn answer he’d ever heard.
Oh, God. She was really going to do this. She was going to have sex. With Dell. She was going to have sex with Dell.
She hadn’t been lying when she said she’d prepared. She’d spent the day going over and over in her head how this might happen. What she should say. How she should act. Of course, it wasn’t quite following the script, but that was okay.
She was shirtless and so was he. His hand was in hers and he was leading her to his bedroom. Everything wasn’t just okay, it was fantastic.
They stepped into his bedroom and Dell flipped on the light. Mia got the overall impression it was messy and cluttered, but mainly she looked at his big, unmade bed and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Jeez, it’s freezing in here.”
&n
bsp; “I can fix that.” He pointed to the bed.
She chuckled, and instead of taking the hint, she crawled under the covers, pulling them up to her chin.
He stood at the end of the bed, his mouth twitching into a smile. “Not quite what I meant.”
“Oh?” She had to swallow back a nervous giggle. She was in Dell Wainwright’s bed. His bed. Half-naked. And he was standing at the end of it, half-naked. She really had to stop letting that make her giddy.
Sex couldn’t be all that different than the idea in her mind. It wasn’t like she’d never seen a sex scene in a movie or read one in a book. An orgasm with somebody couldn’t be that different than doing it herself. She knew a lot about sex. She just hadn’t done it yet.
He unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. All confidence and swagger, he pushed them down and stepped out of them, then moved onto the bed, pulling the covers off her before he covered her with his body.
Oh. Wow.
“Better?” he asked, his voice husky in her ear.
Cold was no longer an option. She was heated inside and out. Her breasts pressed against the bare skin of his chest, his breath was on her neck, and she had to bite her lip to keep from squeaking out something silly.
Focus. She wanted this to happen. Oh, God, she wanted this to happen. So, she needed to focus on what would get her there. “I should probably take off my skirt.”
“You read my mind.” But instead of moving out of the way so she could, he unbuttoned and unzipped it for her, his fingers brushing the hem of her leggings. “Can I take these off, too?”
Mia swallowed. She still didn’t trust her voice, so she nodded and Dell pulled her leggings off her. His hand traveled the length of her leg, ending at her hip. Now on their sides facing one another, they were both naked except for their underwear.
Holy moly.
Okay. She could do this. She could totally do this. She knew what to expect, mostly, and it wasn’t like she’d never pleasured herself before. This couldn’t be that different. You know, aside from the human being next to her. The really hot human being next to her who had certain equipment she’d never been anywhere near.
Harlequin E Contemporary Romance Box Set Volume 2: Maid to CraveAll I HaveThe Last First DateLight My Fire Page 37