“Merger. Merge?”
“If we combine our farms, we can do a lot more than we’re each doing individually now. I’m stuck where I’m at. Most of our land is for the dairy, and on the other side county property and behind us Curt Simmons, who won’t sell anything, ever. His son is taking over, too. If I ever want to expand, I need more land. If we merge, I can infuse the money I have into Morning Sun so we can partially buy out your dad right now. No waiting and seeing what he does. Then we can do the CSA, the restaurant, the farmer’s market together. We might even be able to expand beyond that.”
Dell just kept staring at the word. The excitement in her explanation did nothing to break through the fog. If anything, depression and futility pushed deeper and deeper.
“Your grand plan is to buy the farm for me.”
“Not for you, Dell. For both of us. We work well together and I ran the figures.” She flipped through the pages. “Think of all we could do.”
Think of all she could do. Because that’s what everyone would think. They’d think Mia had saved his ass. They’d think Mia was the brains and he was nothing but glorified muscle. This wasn’t partnership. No one would see it as that. They’d see it as Mia buying him out, and keeping him on as some kind of pity for the dumb, senseless Wainwright boy.
He stood, letting the notebook fall. “Not interested.”
Mia looked at him, the notebook, a confused line digging into her forehead. “But…you didn’t even look.”
“Don’t have to. Not interested.”
“What’s wrong with you?” She retrieved the notebook and stood. “Something happen with your dad after I left?”
“No. I’m just not interested in your stupid plan. I don’t need to be saved, Mia. I can do this on my own.”
“It’s not stupid.” Hurt laced her words, but he didn’t care. Couldn’t care.
“Well, that’s your opinion.”
She studied him. “What’s really going on here?”
“Nothing. I just don’t need you to save me, Mia. I’m not an idiot. When I said figure something out to help us, I didn’t mean have you swoop in and take everything over.”
“That’s not what I’m doing. I’m getting rid of the competition and I’m helping us. And I’m helping you. If you would just calm down and read what I’ve come up with—”
“No.” If he read it, he’d be tempted. If he read it, he’d think more about her than the rest of his life as the butt of a joke.
She touched his arm, smoothing her palm from elbow to wrist. “Honey, what happened?”
“Nothing. I just think…it was a stupid idea. Us. There’s no point to this.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Should’ve cut our losses before.”
Her mouth hung open for a minute before she slowly closed it and swallowed. “What are you saying?”
Dell shrugged. His throat closed up and he wasn’t sure he could get the words out. “We should probably give up the ghost. There aren’t any real solutions.”
“I see.” She looked at the notebook, her chin so close to her chest he couldn’t see her expression, only the top of her head.
Her hair was a mess. Half her ponytail had fallen out and random chunks of hair curled out in weird patterns. A deep, scraping pain edged down his chest.
“And why isn’t this a solution?”
“I have to do this on my own. I already get enough grief for being dumb and worthless.”
She looked up at him, baffled and frustrated. “But you aren’t either of those things. Haven’t we gone over that enough?”
She was so certain, so earnest. He wanted to touch her, then maybe some of that confidence would rub off.
“Well, only you and I seem to know that.”
“No one else matters. If someone doesn’t see the real you, they don’t matter. That’s a lesson I learned the hard way. Believe me. It’s one worth learning.”
Dell shrugged. He didn’t know how to explain she was wrong. Didn’t know how to say it in words that his father’s opinion mattered. That every comment demeaning his ability poked deep and stayed there.
“Maybe you should go.”
She made a weird sound, kind of a laugh, except there was no humor in any of this. When she looked at him there were tears in her eyes and everything inside his chest ached.
“This is about your dad? About him not believing in you?”
Again, Dell shrugged. He couldn’t find his voice and even if he could, he wouldn’t know what to say.
“No, you know what, that’s giving him too much credit. This about you, Dell. About you being a childish, whiny baby. I don’t give a shit what your dad thinks about you. Or me. It shouldn’t matter. If you loved this place half as much as you claim to it wouldn’t matter what he thought.” She snatched up her purse. “Go to hell.”
She stormed out of the house, leaving nothing but darkness behind.
She didn’t get it. She didn’t. How could she doubt he loved this place after everything he’d told her? Just because he didn’t want her swooping in and saving the day and getting the credit. Just because he didn’t want to be seen as the dumb useless piece of shit who had to be saved by some woman he’d been stupid enough to fall in love with.
It was about pride and family and his good name. It was about this place, too. Nothing wrong with wanting—needing—to do this on his own. Not a damn thing.
She was wrong. She had to be.
* * *
Mia didn’t cry. She wouldn’t let herself. She’d had a lot of practice holding back tears and she used every last ounce of that skill to get her home, in bed and under the covers before she let the tears escape.
She wasn’t sure what had happened. Obviously Dell’s dad had said something. But what, he wasn’t telling, and what had changed in his mind he really wasn’t telling. Instead, he was throwing everything away with both hands.
She would not feel sorry for him. No way. He’d cast her off like she didn’t matter, so she hated him. She absolutely one hundred percent did not feel sorry for him and want to make it better.
“Mia?”
Mia tried to wipe the tears from her cheeks as she heard Cara’s footsteps approach. A few minutes and she could totally pretend she wasn’t a sniveling mess over a stupid, stupid, stupid guy.
“I saw your car. I didn’t think you lived here anymore.” Cara entered her room, then stopped abruptly. “You’re in bed. You’ve been crying. Well, shit.” She turned around, disappeared.
Mia sat in bed not sure what had just transpired. Until Cara returned with a bottle of wine. “Okay, what’d the jerk do? Do I need to kick him in the balls? ‘Cause I’m up for that.” She plopped next to Mia on the bed and jammed the corkscrew into the top of the wine bottle.
“He broke up with me.” Such a weird statement, and really one she should be celebrating. Life experience and all. First guy out of the way. Now she could start looking around for Mr. Right.
When had Dell started seeming like Mr. Right?
“Bastard. I’ll key his truck. Or egg his house. Or both? Yeah, both.”
“Cara.”
Cara shook her head, popping the cork. “Lesson number one in breakups is we don’t actually do any vandalizing. We just talk about doing it. It’s cathartic.”
She let out a breath, stared at the wine bottle Cara held out to her. She didn’t feel like drinking. She didn’t feel like talking about vandalizing anything. She just wanted to curl up and sleep and pretend she hadn’t wasted her whole damn day on a stupid, idiotic plan. And worse, gotten way too excited about it.
“So, what happened?”
Mia took a deep breath. “I…I’m not even really sure. I think he had some fight with his dad, and then it somehow turned into being with me meaning everyone would always see him as some screwup, I guess. I don’t know. I gave him a way to get his farm and a way we wouldn’t have to compete anymore and suddenly it was all about people would just think he was dumb and I was sa
ving him.”
“Ohhhh.” Cara nodded like she understood. Like she understood Dell’s point of view.
“What does he care if it gets him what he wants?” Mia demanded.
“Well, there’s something to be said for pride.” Cara shrugged. “As the fuckup of our family, I can tell you it’s not really fun.”
“You’re not a fuckup.”
Cara shrugged. “I don’t farm. I sleep around. I never went to college and I answer phones at a salon. I’m no Mia Pruitt.” She patted Mia’s hand. “That’s okay. It’s not who I am, but it’s not always easy to be seen as the loser.”
“But I don’t think he’s a loser.”
“Which is exactly why he is a loser for breaking your heart. You see the best in everybody and his pride shouldn’t get in the way of that.” Cara pushed the bottle of wine into Mia’s hands. “I get where he’s coming from, but he didn’t need to break up with you. You deserve better.”
Mia went ahead and took a gulp straight from the bottle. Oh, she wanted to believe that. She did. But Dell got the farm stuff. When she was with him, she could be herself without questioning. When she was with him, she was happy. Was there really better out there?
Chapter Twenty
For three days Dell came home only after the dark made it impossible to do any more work, then sat on his couch and stared at the notebook Mia had left on the table.
The first night, he didn’t touch it. Just stared. He also downed a six-pack.
The second night, he picked it up, flipped through the pages, and then hurled it across the room. He popped open a beer, and couldn’t stomach the thought of drinking it, so he poured it down the drain.
On the third night, he read it. Then he read it again. Then, despite every voice in his head telling him not to, he began to make notes over Mia’s detailed plan.
He adjusted a few figures, did a little restructuring to how sharing the CSA and supplier gigs might be split between them, and then sat back and wondered what the hell he was doing.
Just because her plan was a good one didn’t mean it was the right choice. Just because his adjustments made it an even better plan didn’t mean he should do it. Just because knowing he’d have to face Mia at market tomorrow scraped at every inch of him didn’t mean he should give in.
He flipped through the pages again. His brain could spout all the reasons he shouldn’t do this, but his heart…his heart wasn’t really having those reasons.
He wanted the farm. He wanted Mia. This plan got him both of those things. If it meant he never got to be seen as the brains of an operation…did it really matter?
Mia had tried to tell him it didn’t. Hell, a few days ago he’d convinced Mia what the town thought about them being together didn’t matter. Was this really all that different?
His brain didn’t want to answer that question, but his heart knew. The answer was no.
Dell stood. Glanced at the clock. Ten. A little late to try and talk to Dad, but hell, he couldn’t sit on this. He’d already sat on it too damn long.
Clutching the notebook, Dell shoved on a pair of tennis shoes and marched his way across the hill to the main house. The living-room light was still on, so Dell pushed in the front door.
Kenzie and Anna sat in the living room, noses pressed to their phones until he walked in. He felt a little weird being in the same room as Mia’s sister, but he decided to ignore it. Especially since she was sending him death stares.
“Dad still up?”
“In his office.”
Dell nodded, then walked upstairs. Dad’s office was a small corner bedroom that had been Charlie’s before Charlie had gone off to school.
It looked about the same. Dad probably worshipped Charlie’s debate trophies in candlelight.
No time for that. “I need to talk to you.”
“Going to bed.” Dad pushed up from his desk, but Dell blocked the exit.
“No.”
“If you want to have a fight over Ed being here last week, I’m not in the mood. We just talked. Didn’t put anything up for sale. Yet.”
“Good. Now, I’d appreciate it if you sat down and listened to what I’ve got to say.” Dell tossed the notebook on the desk. “I want to buy. Actually, we want to buy.”
Dad sat, made a big production out of being bent out of shape. “We?”
“Yeah. Me and Mia.”
Dad raised an eyebrow. “You and Mia?”
“She—we’ve got it all laid out. First two pages has a timetable, offer, everything.”
Dad opened the notebook, began to read. “That your chicken scratch?”
“Yeah.”
“Lowballing me.” Dell had scratched out Mia’s figure and written in a smaller one.
“Yup. I figured I deserve a discount for the years I put in.”
Dad flipped through the pages a few more times. “And if things go south in the relationship department?”
Dell opened his mouth to say something about being professional enough for that not to matter, but that’s not what came out. “It won’t go south. I won’t let it.”
This was his second screwup where Mia was concerned, and each time he’d found a way to make things up. Because she mattered. Because he couldn’t walk away. Because Mia was what he wanted.
“All right.”
Dell frowned down at Dad. “That’s it. All right?”
“You’ve got some financial backing, a brain at the helm of things. This is a business plan. Not just some dumb love of this place. So, yeah, all right.”
Dell wanted to laugh. It was amazing. His dad saw sense and money figures, when at the heart of all of this was love.
And that was fine. Dad didn’t have to see it. He didn’t have to see any of it. Long as Dell could make it happen. Dad’s opinion really, truly didn’t matter.
“All right. I’ll tell Mia tomorrow.”
Dad nodded. “Good. Can I get some sleep now?”
Dell stepped out of the way, and Dad left the small room. Dell stood there for a few more minutes. His brain was utterly quiet. How could it argue with what was right?
* * *
“We hightailed it out of there pretty fast.”
Mia didn’t spare Cara or Anna a look as she jammed her key into the door. “I didn’t want to talk to him.” She cringed a little. She’d been a coward today. A total coward. She’d told Val she wasn’t feeling well and to cancel the battle of the sexes. Twice Dell had tried to talk to her and she’d hidden before he’d gotten over to her booth.
She was a coward. Plain and simple. But she couldn’t let herself talk to him now. She’d be too inclined to try to convince him he was wrong. To convince him he wasn’t stupid and it didn’t matter what his dad thought.
She couldn’t do that. He had to be the one to figure that out for himself.
Inside her apartment, she went straight to her room, closed the door and crawled into bed. It was self-indulgent and pathetic, but it was totally her prerogative. She’d missed the formative years of crying over a guy. Of course, she’d been busy crying over people making fun of her. Including Dell. He’d once been among those people who’d made her cry.
Why couldn’t she hate him for it?
Oh, right, because his apology, his reasoning behind it made hating him impossible. Oh, and maybe she was too busy being an idiot in love with him. She lay there for a while, allowed herself to doze off. A rare luxury she probably couldn’t afford, but what was one afternoon away from the farm?
Later, Mia woke up to the sounds of people. Not just Cara and Anna but a male voice. She sat straight up in bed. Not just any male voice.
Without thinking about what she must look like, Mia hopped out of bed and into the hallway.
Dell stood taking up most of the doorway, scowling down at Cara and Anna, who were playing bodyguard, blocking the door.
“Go home. She doesn’t want to see you.”
“Yeah. Get out of here. If you don’t, I’m going to call the police,�
� Cara added.
Dell looked up, caught sight of her and his expression softened. Oh, she was in real trouble if she wanted to keep up her resolve.
“You’re not welcome here.” Cara gave him a little shove.
“Don’t,” Mia said. “It’s fine. Let him say what he came here to say.” With her sisters there she wouldn’t do anything stupid. She would stand her ground.
“Fine. But we’re not going anywhere.” They moved a little bit. Just a fraction to let Dell enter.
He turned his attention to Mia. “I’ll say it in front of them.” He scowled and shoved his hands deep in his pockets. “I don’t like being apart.”
“Well, you did that.”
“I know. I know I did, and I was wrong and stupid.” He let out an agitated breath. “I wake up knowing that you’re not going to be a part of my day, and it feels like less.” When his brown eyes met hers she couldn’t catch a full breath. No one had ever, ever said anything remotely that beautiful to her before.
“You get me. You see me for who I am and no one else does.” He shook his head, his hands leaving his pockets. He reached out to her, but then pulled his hand back. “I don’t want to lose you. The thing is…” He glanced at Cara and Anna and scowled. “The thing is…” He returned his gaze to her face and took a deep, unsteady breath. “I love you, Mia,” he said quietly. So quietly she was sure she hadn’t heard him correctly.
“Woah,” Cara and Anna said in unison. When Dell glared at them, Cara pulled her car keys out of her pocket. “We’re gonna go.” The two girls slipped out the door.
He visibly swallowed. “Your idea was perfect. It was. Working together on both our farms is perfect and I fucked it up because…” He raked his fingers through his hair and began to pace in short strides in front of her. “I fucked it up because Dad got in my head.”
He looked at her expectantly, but she didn’t know what to say or how to say it. “I need to sit.” She walked stiffly over to the couch and collapsed onto the cushion. Dell followed and kneeled at her feet.
“I talked to Dad last night. I gave him your plan. Well, actually I’d made a few changes, so it was more like our plan. And he agreed. He’ll sell to us. For a lower price. We can do exactly what you suggested.”
Harlequin E Contemporary Romance Box Set Volume 2: Maid to CraveAll I HaveThe Last First DateLight My Fire Page 42