“Wait. I thought you…”
She couldn’t bring herself to say it, ask Katlena to stay. Maybe she was completely mistaken, and this was something IdA inspectors regularly did. Who would stop them?
“I told you I wouldn’t sneak out, but I can’t stay with you. Not tonight,” Katlena said, laying her hand against Ami’s cheek. “Please understand. I can’t show up for work in the same clothes after I drove you home today. Honestly, I think I need a little time to process myself.”
“Sure. No problem.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. You shouldn’t drive though.”
“That’s true.” Katlena removed her car keys from the chain and tossed them to Ami who barely caught them. “Pick me up at seven-thirty tomorrow?”
“I…I’m not sure if this is…”
“You can drive, right?”
“Yes, sure, but I haven’t driven in forever!”
“Time to start over again. I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Katlena leaned in for a quick kiss. A moment later, the door fell shut behind her.
Ami couldn’t bring herself to contemplate the events of the day, and what they meant for her future. There was something else she wouldn’t get out of easily. A look at the clock told her that it was still early, not even 9:00 p.m. She poured herself another glass of the still half full bottle and powered up her laptop, the subject of three emails received since her arrest making her queasy. When she could bring herself to open the last one though, Ami discovered she was granted an extension of twenty-four hours to turn in her first report.
She frowned at the wording of the email. This was no coincidence. Certainly her employers knew about the arrest. If she still had a job with them that meant they had their own agenda regarding the new subject. She wondered if she could ask for part-time at ShelTech’s, and if that would make it easier.
Adam Shelton’s concern which she knew to be most likely fake, Mary and Peggy…Ami didn’t have much of an inclination to go back there. She drank more of the wine while she was typing. One of these days she’d get into trouble with her rather favorable assessments. Ami usually tried to throw in some criticism regarding rather irrelevant aspects of the person’s conduct, so it wouldn’t be too obvious. In this case, it would be hard. She couldn’t lose this side occupation, because the people behind it were important.
Once she had enough money from the internship, she could buy back her name and find her child. They couldn’t deny Ami her daughter once she had an identity and a bit of money in a bank account.
After she’d hit send, Ami poured the rest of the wine into her glass and sat back on the bed. Five years ago, it was an inspector of the IdA who had conducted her interviews and overseen her transition into cypher existence. She hadn’t been a child. Maybe there would have been other options. In her mind, Ami didn’t want to go for what she thought was the selfish solution, keep her baby under all circumstances. At least, that was what she’d been told, that it would be selfish and naïve. She’d heard it over and over again, from people she’d trusted until she believed it: this was her chance at doing something good for an innocent child, to redeem herself. She didn’t even know the last name of the baby’s father which made her the bad person. If you heard something every day, it would sink in at some point. After her own parents’ death, she had spent enough time in the foster system and with foster parents who didn’t give a damn to do anything to avoid this fate for Lily. She had given away everything she owned for the promise that Lily would be raised by kind and wealthy parents. At least long enough for her to straighten out her own life.
With all the promises that hadn’t been kept, Ami sometimes feared this wasn’t true either, but she couldn’t bring herself to think about it too hard.
* * * *
She woke at some point in the night, bolting upright as she was certain she had overslept, feeling hung over and dizzy. The facts came back to her slowly. She had a new job now that didn’t require her to start in the early morning hours. She’d been drinking, a lot more than she was used or allowed to. She was supposed to drive Inspector Cervantes’, Katlena’s car. Ami wasn’t even sure she could face her in the morning, let alone act like nothing happened. Her state of mind was wavering somewhere in between amazed, confused and terrified.
She hadn’t been allowed to name her child—the foster parents had, but in her mind, Ami referred to her as Lily. Lily was the reason for everything, and her safety net. Ami had thought about suicide fleetingly, and then pushed the idea away. The guilt had been eating her up inside. She couldn’t take this way out—easy or not, that part was debatable. If she did, nothing else she’d hoped for in the past year made sense. Lily would never see her mother.
Ami drew the sheets higher around her. There was another kind of guilt sneaking up on her. She’d never given much thought to the idea that one day she could have a relationship with someone who genuinely cared for her. Maybe having Lily back wasn’t all she wanted from life, and if that was the truth, what did that make her? Delusional and naïve came to mind. There was no way she could have this relationship with Katlena. In her position, Katlena couldn’t allow herself any missteps.
Even if Ami had $20,000, it wouldn’t make the homophobic tendencies of the IdA go away. Katlena wouldn’t choose a life in the closet for her, or wait until she had saved the money. There was no relationship between them. She had to remember that.
Chapter Six
What the hell had she done?
Katlena slammed the cabinet door shut, making the dishes inside rattle. How could she have not read the signs, known that she was in trouble the first time she had attended the meeting with the OA officer? Ami Moore also known as 51308 seemed very much capable of defending herself, but from that moment, Katlena had felt protective of her. If she was honest, it had been even more than that.
Attraction.
Need.
So what—she’d been attracted to women before and let it go, because it was impossible due to circumstances, her career, or any reason she had given herself. She knew damn well better. She’d stopped herself short of spending the night. Katlena was aware the next time, she probably wouldn’t show that much self-restraint, and stay. If there was a next time, and that was all too likely.
Nothing good could come out of this, especially not when Ami learned Katlena had been aware all the time that the point of no return had long come and gone.
There was another woman living under her identity.
The City government had once known the whereabouts of the little girl named Teresa, called Lily by 51308, even though she’d given up the right to name her daughter. Now, it was anybody’s guess. Jean and Marcus Davidson indeed came from money, and they fulfilled all the requirements for a foster family. Three years ago, they had started selling parts of their business and estate, slowly, unobtrusively. Then one day, they had disappeared with Lily, the evidence hinting at the possibility they might have become allies. That was what people were called who sided with the rebels even though they had no obvious reason to. Katlena had heard them being referred to as traitors. Like Noelle’s brother Kenneth, they were wanted for questioning.
Either way, it was unlikely that Ami would ever see her daughter again. While Katlena didn’t have any immediate responsibility, she’d be easiest to lay blame on.
There weren’t many avenues she could go from here. If she told Ami the truth…She couldn’t do that. Katlena didn’t know her well, but she thought she’d gotten enough of an impression to tell Ami would not resign to her fate quietly. She needed to find out who had become Ami Moore, be prepared. She needed to have something to give her once she’d confront Ami with the truth of everything that had been taken, by the IdA, the institution Katlena represented.
What had possessed her to give Ami the car keys? She’d been drunk, plain and simple, more on hormones than alcohol, as she’d left most of the wine with Ami. Cyphers weren’t allowed to own a car. She hadn’t given Ami a writ
ten permission to drive hers like she should have. If she was picked up on the way, Katlena would be able to clear it up later, but that would mean a lot more unnecessary paperwork.
Why?
She walked into the bathroom and splashed water on her face, making a face at herself in the mirror. Katlena had always believed the laws she was enforcing mostly made sense, and that they were there for a reason. At least, good enough until someone could add some improvements. She still wanted to be that person. Why couldn’t she go out with a cypher if she wanted to?
Katlena gave herself the answer. There was too much of a difference in power. She wasn’t only representing the IdA, but she had made herself Ami’s direct supervisor. Some could say that sleeping with her was severe abuse of power, no matter how much she had tried to help her.
Maybe they would be right.
In any case, she had to see this internship through. At some point, when her life was stable enough, Ami might be able face the fact that she could never be herself again. There were other options.
Either way, Katlena wasn’t looking forward to telling her.
* * * *
Ami didn’t seem to have had any problems on her way. Katlena breathed a sigh of relief when she saw driver and car unharmed. She waited until Ami got out of the car to take the driver’s seat herself.
“So…that worked out okay,” Katlena prompted.
“I think so.”
Ami wrapped herself deeper into her coat. She looked cold and a little hung over.
A bottle of wine a year. Jesus, Katlena thought. She had to be feeling bad this morning if she’d had the rest of it by herself.
“Good. Thanks. I meant to tell you—” How to approach this? “When we go in there…I guess we need to be a little…”
“Discreet?” Ami suggested. That was a good way to put it. Never mind the fact that Katlena could have easily imagined skipping work this morning and…What the hell was wrong with her?
“Yes. Thanks.”
“Too bad. We can’t tell about the kitchen table then.”
Katlena was startled for a second, then she said, “You don’t have a kitchen table.”
“True. Not my fault though,” Ami said, all of a sudden a lot more cheerful. “Do you?”
Katlena laughed. “Okay, I get it. Look, the next days are gonna be tight, but would you like to come over for dinner on Saturday? Or maybe we could go out.”
Ami looked at her for a long moment. “You don’t have to try so hard,” she said. “I’ll be fine. Yes, I’d love to have dinner with you.”
Katlena wondered if it made any sense to curse the circumstances that prevented them from ever having anything like a real relationship, because those same circumstances had brought them together in the first place. They couldn’t go anywhere from here. There were too many secrets between them. Teresa’s fate, the three-year-clause, and Ami’s sealed addendum.
For a moment she fantasized about that dinner in an expensive restaurant, music and wine. She’d even pay for clothes. No, that was not an option. She’d seen Ami’s, 51308’s closet with the many empty hangers. She wasn’t allowed to go out in public wearing anything but the black-and-white standard. No one was policing Katlena’s apartment though.
She glanced over to Ami who seemed lost in her own thoughts, realizing that even after having studied her file—and her body—intently, she knew next to nothing about 51308. Eighteen was young to have a child, but there were younger mothers. Ami had been about to go to college. What had disrupted her life so badly that she went to that last resort, something Katlena had often thought was for the chronically unemployed, indebted and desperate? There was nothing in the file about her birth parents, even though it was unlikely the IdA didn’t know. From the looks of it, there hadn’t been a lot of contact with the foster parents or even the father of the baby.
“Good. I’m sure we’ll have something to celebrate too, as your probation period will be over.”
Ami sighed. “Yeah. I just hope—”
The rest of her sentence was lost in the deafening blast when the vehicle five or six cars in front of them exploded, flames shooting up in the air, metal, glass and plastic flying into every direction. Katlena pulled Ami down before a sharp-edged piece embedded itself in the windshield, glass raining down on them.
A deafening silence followed. She cautiously straightened and shook the glass out of her hair. Ami seemed unharmed, but when she looked at Katlena, it was with the wide-eyed expression of shock.
“What happened there?”
“Rebels,” Katlena stated grimly. “This is the time and place where you find most IdA employees on the way to work, and the parents bring their kids to private schools in the area.”
“Why would they do this? I thought the rebels were mostly former ciphers who were trying to change things peacefully!”
Katlena wondered who had given her that idea. “This doesn’t look peaceful to me. We’ll talk about that later.” Katlena opened the door on her side, reaching for her gun. “You stay here.”
“Not going to argue,” Ami muttered. “Wait!”
“What is it?” Katlena knew they had to act fast. It was possible the initiators of the attack had blown themselves up, but they couldn’t count on that. In fact, it had hardly occurred before, which meant they could still be around, ready to take hostages.
“You’re bleeding. Wait!”
She touched her neck underneath the strands of hair, producing a red smear, shrugging it off.
“I can’t. Do me a favor, get us some backup and an ambulance? Make sure you identify yourself correctly.” Katlena pressed her cell phone into Ami’s shaking hands and then exited the car. It was a good thing she had shown Ami the codes yesterday. Never had she imagined her intern would have to put this new knowledge to use so soon.
There was a small layer of ash settling already. She coughed, keeping her hand on her weapon, bracing herself for the sight. There had been incidents with small bombs sent in a package to the IdA a couple of times that she could remember, but nothing this big. It was probably true that the rebels had an inside source then, because who else could be behind this? In the car in front of them was a young couple. They didn’t seem to be seriously injured. Both of them looked frightened. He wrenched the door on his side open.
“Inspector! Oh my God, what happened?” His hand was bleeding.
“Stay inside,” she told him. “Help is on the way.”
There was a middle-aged woman in another car. In her hair, glass still glistened, and she had suffered a few minor cuts. She was already on her cell phone.
The car closest to the blast was still burning. Katlena nearly gagged from the smell, realizing that there was nothing she could do for the occupants. The car that had transported the bomb looked even worse. She recognized the blackened license plate though and cursed. This wasn’t the car of Drago’s brother. The vehicle belonged to Drago’s sister-in-law. Either way, it would mean retribution.
Looking back, she could see that the couple was talking to the middle-aged woman.
The sound of a whimper drew her attention away, and she carefully examined the surroundings to find its source.
“Oh no,” she said out loud. Another woman, mid-twenties, her hair matted with blood, was clutching a baby to her chest. She had a lost look on her face. A dark crimson had soaked her blouse and was staining the baby’s jumper. Katlena shrugged out of her coat.
“Hang in there. An ambulance is coming.”
The woman stared at her through wide frightened eyes. No sound of sirens yet. Katlena made her decision.
“Look, we need to get further away from the fire. There could be another explosion.”
The woman tried to speak, but her attempt at words ended in a coughing fit.
“Can you get up? I’ll hold the baby. What’s her name?” Katlena asked, trying to distract her.
Reluctantly, the woman let Katlena take the small human bundle, then she struggled to g
et up. That was when another blast happened, throwing them both off their feet.
* * * *
“Katlena! Katlena, can you hear me?”
“Don’t yell,” she muttered, reaching up to hold her aching head. Pain shot through her arm, and for a moment, she was fighting the urge to throw up. Katlena struggled to open her eyes and, very slowly, got up in a sitting position. She wanted to scold Ami for leaving the safety of the car, but couldn’t quite bring herself to do it when she saw the worried expression on the younger woman’s face. Ami held a baby in her arms.
“You saved her,” she said, her eyes brimming with tears. “You’re a hero, Katlena.”
“Well, yeah, thanks.” Katlena finally stood, looking around, her gaze falling on the young mother only a few feet away. She wasn’t moving.
Katlena spun around to turn to Ami who shook her head, tears falling.
“Don’t cry, baby,” she whispered to the infant who had started screaming at the top of her lungs. Ami’s tone was full of longing and pain. It was written all over her face too, when the paramedic gently took the little girl from her.
“Miss?” Katlena faced the other paramedic, a man probably younger then her. He coughed, self-conscious. “Excuse me. Inspector. Come with me, please, so we can check on that wound?”
With a grimace, she looked down at her torn and bloodied sleeve, the pain registering with her full force. “Do your worst,” she said grimly. “I need to be at work ten minutes ago.”
“Oh, no,” Ami cut in. “You can’t work like that. You need to go to a hospital!”
“It’s a scratch. I need find to out who was enough of a coward to do this to a young mother and the family of my boss’s brother.” She could tell that Ami wanted to argue, but she held her tongue eventually and sighed.
“Will you let me drive?”
They had reached one of the ambulances where Ami climbed in behind her and the paramedic. “Um, Inspector,” he said. “I’d recommend that too. You shouldn’t be out in the field.”
CYPHER: A Dystopian Novel Page 6