“What?”
“It happened about a week ago.”
“Oh my God, Faith. Tell me what it is.”
“I picked up a man.”
“You what?”
I laughed nervously. “Not like that. I didn’t pick up. But there was a man on the road, I nearly hit him with my car. He was all right, but I gave him a ride down into the valley.”
Faith said nothing.
“I think …”
“You think what, Faith?”
“Well, remember I told you about the first time I met Jackson, in the Los Lobos bar, and he snatched a chain from around my neck?”
“Of course I do.”
“Well, this man last week. There was something strange about him.”
“He reminded you of Jackson?”
“Yes. He did. I didn’t realize it until he was gone, but he … reminded me of Jackson. And he left something hanging from my mirror.”
“What was it?”
I was going to answer but my voice caught in my throat.
“He left the chain in your car?” Lacey gasped.
“Yes,” I said at last.
“It was Jackson?”
“I don’t know. That’s the thing. It only came to me after he was gone.”
“What do you mean?”
“My hands started shaking. I felt as if I’d seen a ghost.”
“And you thought it was him?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Holy hell, Faith. Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”
“I’m telling you now.”
Lacey paused, then she said, “If you had a feeling like that, that’s your heart telling you something.”
“Have you heard anything?”
There was another pause.
“Lacey? Have you heard anything?” I said again.
“Faith, we need to talk.”
“Lacey. You’d tell me if you knew something, wouldn’t you?”
“Your happiness means the world to me, sweetie,” she said. “You’re my best friend in the world.”
“Lacey, what am I going to do? How come he hasn’t come for me? That was a week ago. The news said the Los Lobos killing was over a week ago too. If he’s back and he hasn’t contacted me, what does that mean?”
“Don’t jump to any conclusions. You don’t even know if he’s back yet.”
“But what if he doesn’t want me? What if he doesn’t want his son? What if I’ve been waiting all these years for nothing, like a complete idiot?”
“You’re not an idiot, Faith.”
I sighed. I hated to lean on her like this for emotional support, but sometimes you just need help. You need a friend. Being a single mom isn’t easy. Losing the love of your life for twelve years isn’t easy. I had Sam, and I loved him to bits, but it’s not the same as having an adult to talk to.
“We’ve got to meet up tonight,” Lacey said.
“No, it’s all right,” I lied. “You’ve got a date with Matt, don’t you?”
Lacey had been seeing a guy named Matt for two years, and somehow hadn’t told any of the brothers about it. She was afraid they’d scare him off so she’d kept her relationship with him a complete secret.
“He’s in San Francisco for that conference.”
“He’s not coming home?”
“He just called. The company got him a hotel so he’s staying there for the week.”
“Oh, so you don’t have plans?”
“As usual,” Lacey said.
“Okay, let me make sure Sam goes to bed. Then I’ll open a bottle of wine.”
“What have you got?”
“Another local Zinfandel.”
“From the valley?”
“There are so many hidden gems in that soil, and we’re going to find them all.”
Lacey was my business partner. We’d opened the wine business together. Her father had established the vineyard the mansion was on and we were both committed to bringing Socorro Valley wine to the world.
“All right,” Lacey said. “I’ll be there in half an hour.”
I put away the things from dinner and then went into the den to check on Sam. He was watching the latest Transformer movie, a pack of Doritos on the sofa next to him. I couldn’t help feel a twinge of sadness for him. He was such a beautiful boy, the best thing I’d ever done in my life, but his life wasn’t complete without a father.
“You doing all right, buddy?”
He lifted his hand in answer.
“Five more minutes, okay. You’ve got school in the morning.”
“This is the best part, mom. Optimus Prime.”
“Autobots, engage,” I said, in my pathetic robot voice.
“That’s Star Trek. Optimus says, ‘Autobots, roll out’.”
I sat down next to him. He graciously deigned to move his legs. “Want some chips?”
“No thanks, sweetie.”
“Diet?”
I laughed. “Sort of.”
“Your the thinnest mom out of all my friends.”
I looked at him sideways. “Now you’re just trying to butter me up.”
His left eyebrow arced. It was a gesture he’d inherited from Jackson and it melted my heart every time I saw it. I wanted my son’s father to come home to me so badly it hurt. If he was done with Los Lobos, if it was safe for him to return, then where the hell was he?
“All right,” I said, putting on my best down-to-business voice. “This part’s boring. Let’s turn it off and you can pick it back up tomorrow night.”
“Another exciting night in the adventurous life of Sam Jones,” he said. I’d insisted on giving him Jackson’s name, even if mine was still Shepherd.
“Maybe we’ll go out for something tomorrow.”
“Grab a bite to eat?”
“Some burgers, a movie. If you’re good.”
He got up from the couch and kissed me on the cheek. “I love you, mom.”
“I love you, Sam. I’ll be right there to tuck you in.”
“I know,” he said and left for his bedroom.
I turned off the television and went in to Sam’s room. “You all set, sweetie?”
“Yes, mom.”
I kissed him goodnight. “You’re a good kid,” I whispered.
“You’re a good mom,” he said.
I went back to the den and picked up the Doritos bag. Before I could stop myself, I’d eaten a handful of chips.
There was a knock on the door. “Lacey, is that you? Come on in.”
Lacey came in and with her was my neighbor’s teenage daughter, Katie.
“What’s going on?” I said.
“Katie’s babysitting,” Lacey said.
“What?”
“I already paid her. We’re going out for a drink.”
“Lacey!”
“Go on. Get changed. You’ve got plans, woman.”
*
“YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO DO THAT,” I said in Lacey’s car.
“It’s not just for you, it’s for me, too.”
“What do you mean?”
“I need to get good and drunk, Faith. You’re not the only one with man problems.”
“Matt?”
Lacey nodded. I knew what she was alluding to. We hadn’t ever talked about it directly, but I knew Matt was having an affair. All the signs were there—late nights at the office, hotels in the city, and the biggest tell of all, a weight on Lacey’s heart like a grindstone.
Lacey drove calmly but I could tell she was torn up inside. There was an edge to her. I had the impression things could go very wrong for her when they finally blew up with Matt. She’d been head-over-heels in love with him when they’d met. She’d invested everything in the relationship, all the time keeping it a complete secret from the brothers. That was no easy feat. I’m sure they suspected she was seeing someone, but if she didn’t want to introduce him to them, they weren’t going to pry. They completely respected her privacy, even while living in the same mans
ion.
But now he was breaking her heart, and I was the only one she could talk to about it. We passed the main street of our adorable, expensive-as-hell town and kept going down toward the valley.
“Madam, where are you taking me?” I said, trying to sound lighthearted. I wanted to cheer her up. She’d done the same for me many times.
She looked at me. “I really need a drink,” she said.
“It’s going to be one of those nights?”
“Hell, yes.”
“We’ll be calling the brothers for a ride home?”
“If we even make it home,” she said and laughed.
“You’re not planning on doing anything you’ll regret, are you?”
“I don’t know what I’m planning,” she said. “All I know is I’ve got to take control of my life, Faith. Matt’s cheating on me. I’m a beautiful woman in the prime of my life and I’m letting that asshole walk all over me. Plus, I always feel like a liar because I’m keeping it secret from the brothers.”
“They don’t care what you do in your love life,” I said.
“I know,” she said. “Fuck. What am I doing, Faith? All I’ll say is, I could do a lot worse than get in a little trouble down in the valley.”
I’d noticed a change in Lacey over the past few months but I’d tried not to focus on it. She hadn’t asked for advice regarding Matt, so I tried not to butt in. I’d be there for her when she was ready to break up with him, but in the meantime there wasn’t much I could do for her. The thing was, it seemed to be affecting her more and more. She was getting a little wild, a little irrational. I didn’t hold it against her. Suspecting your partner of cheating is it’s own kind of hell, and no one can judge what it’s like, but I was worried for her. I’d even considered telling the brothers what was going on, but I knew they’d step in, beat the shit out of Matt, and completely destroy any chance Lacey had of resolving the issue in her own way, however that might be. It killed me to see my best friend in so much pain, but apart from offering her my support, there was nothing I could do.
It wasn’t far to the Rusty Nail, the valley’s premier spot for late-night, early-morning, questionable decisions. The guys down there were a different breed. Every wife in the hills knew it, although few actually had the guts to come down and see for themselves. I always liked going there because we were likely to run into the brothers. They were good guys, extremely protective of me and Sam, and they were the closest link I still had to Jackson. I hoped we’d run into them.
Lacey pulled up next to a battered, beat-up, pickup truck. I recognized it as the one Forrester often drove. I noticed a wooden crate of wine bottles in the back. I still hadn’t tasted their latest creation.
“This looks like the place,” she said. “Let’s show these local boys something they’ll never forget.”
“I think Forrester is here,” I said.
She looked at me and shook her head. “It’s not Forrester,” she said.
“Who is it?”
“You’ll see,” she said. “Just remember, whatever happens, you mean more to me than anyone else in the world, Faith. All I care about is your happiness. That’s why I didn’t tell you sooner.”
“Tell me what?”
“You’ll see,” she said again.
I was confused, I didn’t know what she was talking about, but suddenly I felt very apprehensive about entering the bar.
Chapter 28
Jackson
HOLY HELL. SOMETIMES, YOU’VE GOT an idea in your head of what’s going to happen. You’ve seen it all play out a million times. It’s like a book you already read, a movie you’ve already seen, and then, something completely unexpected happens.
That’s how it was when Faith walked in.
I was sitting next to Grant, the waitress batting her eyes at me like boy’s are an endangered species and I’m the last one left alive. Grant had been around the block more than once with Sue. He was keeping his eye out for something new.
I wasn’t keeping my eye out for anything. I had my night planned. I’d have a few beers, go home, get an early night. Next morning I’d get back to work on the farmhouse.
But then Lacey walked in, and behind her was Faith. My Faith.
Immediately, I ducked behind the beer taps and pulled Grant down with me. Luckily the place was busy and she hadn’t noticed us.
“Jesus Christ,” I said.
Grant had no clue why we were ducking. “What is it?” he said.
I indicated toward the door. Lacey and Faith looked around and found a high table by the wall at the opposite end of the bar.
“Did you tell Lacey we were going to be here?” I said.
“I might have,” Grant said. “I didn’t know she’d bring Faith.”
“Fuck.”
“Relax. She hasn’t seen you.”
“Fuck,” I said again.
“What are you so afraid of, Jackson? She’s your woman. She always has been. All she’s doing is waiting for you. Tonight’s as good as any for you to break the ice.”
“Jesus,” I said again and bit my tongue. “Sorry for swearing.”
Grant laughed. “You can swear all you like in front of me, brother. I ain’t sensitive.”
“Fuck me,” I said again, and laughed. “This is ridiculous. I know it is. It’s just, you ever felt like you really let someone down, and then you don’t know how to make it up to them?”
“You didn’t let her down, Jackson.”
“I put a baby in her, told her she was mine for the rest of her life, and then disappeared.”
“You were protecting her. She was the one who got involved with Los Lobos. You were undoing that. We’ve been over this a million times. You’ve got to let all that go, Jackson. It’s her choice whether or not she’ll forgive you for disappearing, but you’ve got to at least give her the chance to decide.”
I looked over at Faith. It was the first time since my return that I had a good view of her. So much had changed. She looked more in control of her life, more mature. She had money, nice clothes. I was proud of her. She’d made something of herself.
And I knew then, it was something that happens very rarely in life. It was a second chance.
“Lacey did this on purpose,” I said. “She knew I’d be here.”
Grant nodded. “She might have.”
Faith, was every bit as beautiful as the night I first set eyes on her, all those years ago. My mind cast back to the image of her entering the motel bar, soaking wet, desperate for help, and she stole my heart in a split second. She was doing the same thing now. Just like the first time I saw her, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She was striking in every way. In this light she was even more beautiful than I remembered. She was making my heart pound.
You ever race a train to a crossing? We used to do that when we were kids. Damn fool thing to do. Get up to a hundred miles an hour, middle of the night, turn off the headlights, cross in front of a thousand ton machine moving almost as fast as we were.
That’s the rush I got when I set eyes on Faith. She had class. She was like a triple-A steak that had just walked into a hamburger joint. She blew every other woman in the world out of the water. I was sure every guy in the place noticed her.
I’ve never been to places like Paris or Rome, but seeing her again put me in mind of places like that. She was elegant, and that’s not a word I use lightly. She was stylish, confident—she walked on those expensive high-heels like a runway supermodel. I just put down my beer and stared at her. Grant had to slap me on the arm.
“There’s your woman,” he said.
“There she is,” I said under my breath.
“Now when are you going to put everyone out of their misery and go up to her?”
“Fuck,” I said again.
“Calm down, brother.”
“Did she have any relationships with other men while I was gone?” I said. I was sure I knew the answer, but my heart was pounding so fast in my chest I had to stall.
>
“We’ve been over this, Jackson.”
“Don’t fuck with me. Has she been with other men?”
Grant looked over at the women. They were sitting at their table, waiting for service.
“I don’t think a single guy got past the first date with her. And there wasn’t many of those either. She just couldn’t get over you, Jackson. She waited for you. And now you’re back and you won’t go talk to her? How unfair is that?”
“Shit,” I said. “Grant, what am I supposed to do? I never even felt this nervous when I had to kill people.”
“Jackson. You’re really worked up.”
“Of course I am. Look at her. You ever seen a lady like that before in your life? She’s the love of my life, Grant. She gave me a son. I walked out on her twelve years ago and she doesn’t even know I’m back in town. You’d be shitting yourself too if you were in my position.”
Grant looked at her and raised an eyebrow. “You want me to go over? Break it to her gently that you’re back.”
I shook my head. I’d been waiting so long for this moment. I’d played it over in my mind a million times. The moment I revealed myself to Faith had to be special. It had to be perfect. After waiting so long, she deserved at least that much.
From behind my beer I glanced over at her—her light brown hair, her big, dark eyes like pools of water, her knockout body. She still had all the right curves in all the right places.
I got up from my seat.
“You’re going over already?” Grant said.
“I don’t have time to play games any more,” I said. And I wasn’t kidding. Just looking at her made my dick hard. I had to get her back. But first, I had to take a deep breath to calm myself. I looked down at my jeans to see if there was a bulge. There was. I was so hot for Faith I could hardly contain myself.
I downed my beer.
I couldn’t believe I hadn’t said anything to her when we were in her car that night. I’d been feeling strange. I’d been off my game. I’d given her the necklace. She must have put it together after that. I was glad. If she at least knew I was still alive, if she suspected I might be back in town, then it would be less of a shock to her now when I showed up out of nowhere.
The adrenaline started pumping through my veins. I focused on the task at hand. I’d always been good at focusing my will, building the confidence I needed to go through with a deed.
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