by Cari Quinn
She slipped her hand under his balls to cup and squeeze. His jaw clenched as he roughened his stroke into her mouth. She eased open her throat against the gag. And when her nose brushed the rough hairs above the base of his shaft he praised her.
From there it was as if her body had been activated. She took and took and gave back tenfold until he was shaking under her hold. She braced her other hand on his belly, dragging her nails through the trail of hair that weaved up his abs.
He tipped his head back for a second before returning his gaze to her as if he was going to miss something.
She wasn’t a ghost.
She wasn’t going anywhere.
She inched higher until she found the flat nipple and flicked her nail over it. His grip tightened on her hair. She grinned around him, slurping around the crown of his head. “I missed your cock.”
“Holy shit, Jules.”
“I came here with one goal, and now I have two.”
He swallowed hard. “To torture me?”
She pumped him and ran her teeth lightly along the vein that traveled the length of his shaft. “Side benefit. But I got some rather lovely news today.”
“Yeah?” His eyes practically rolled back in his head as she took him deep again.
She hummed around him before sucking the the head of his cock with a little pop.
His eyes blazed.
She stood and dragged the head of his cock under the silky shirt she was wearing. “I’m cleared for extracurricular activities.”
“Extra—oh.” His eyes cleared. “Oh…”
“And while sucking your cock is definitely one of my favorite things.”
“Jesus.” He dragged his thumb across her bottom lip.
She brought his hand down between them and under her skirt. “I want the first time we both come to be in me.”
He nipped her jaw. “Here? At the restaurant?”
“It could be in the damn coat closet. I don’t care. I just want you inside me.”
His gaze darted around the room. “We could go home.”
“You want to go sit on the highway this time of day?”
“We could get a room? I happen to work in a hotel.”
It was tempting. It would be smart, but she was afraid to unbalance their little apple cart. Something would screw up this tenuous moment between them. She didn’t know why she was so sure of it, but she wasn’t going to question it. It was time to trust her gut.
She boosted herself onto his shoulders. He made an oomf sound, but caught her. He would always catch her. It was something she needed to remember even beyond today.
“Pick a table or against a wall. I don’t really care, I just want you inside me.”
“God, I love you.”
She locked her arms behind his neck. “You’re goddamn right.”
“I don’t know what got into you, but I like it.”
“Did you mean it?”
“Of course I meant it. I’ll fuck you wherever you want.”
“No. I mean yes—that’s gonna happen. But did you mean it when you told Kendra you wanted to go on tour with me?”
“Are we discussing this now when my dick is precisely six inches from the promise land?”
“I know for a fact you’re more than six inches.”
He tipped his head back and laughed. Not just a regular laugh, but a full belly laugh that she hadn’t heard from him in what felt like a lifetime. “You’re about to feel just how right you are.”
“Just tell me dammit.”
“Yes. Yes, all right? I can’t wait to get on the road with you. I wish you’d believe me. To watch our little boy grow into his first year without any interruptions except for when you’re on that stage is a dream come fucking true.” He turned her around to prop her against the wall. “And I’m going to be right there with you.” He reached between them to shift her panties to the side. “Every.” He slowly rolled his hips and filled her. “Fucking.” His voice was a guttural groan. “Night.”
She fisted the back of his head and brought his mouth to hers as his hips pinned her to the wall with long, steady strokes. As if he was reacquainting her with the size and feel of him. “You feel incredible.” She crossed her ankles drawing him deeper inside of her. “But if you don’t give me what I need, I will hurt you in ways you cannot imagine.”
He barked out a laugh against her shoulder, then lifted her slightly and pounded into her like the insatiable storm she knew he could be. There wasn’t even a sliver of space inside of her—she was filled with this man.
There was no room for doubt. No room for sadness.
He unlocked the hidden treasure trove of joy she’d been protecting with all her guilt and sadness.
Randy wouldn’t want her to withhold it for a memory. There had been nothing but love and light inside him and to dishonor that was like climbing into that grave with him.
Tristan crushed his mouth to hers and ground against her just right. The friction and overwhelming emotions coalesced until she could do nothing but hang onto him. His name ripped from her as she shattered into a million pieces without fear.
Because she knew Tris would rescue each piece. He was the glue and the patience that would never leave her broken.
“Jules. God, Jules.” He shuddered against her and there was nothing but his heat and a wash of warmth inside of her.
They were both shaking, breathing heavy as if they’d careened together in a car crash.
Not a bad analogy all things considered. Her bones felt battered. “So you definitely want to do the tour thing, right?”
Tris laughed against her shoulder. He staggered over to the bench seat along the wall and collapsed. “Caught onto that huh?”
“Oh yeah. I got a clue or three.” She melted against him. “And here I thought I was going to have to use my feminine wiles to convince you.”
He pushed her hair back out of her face. “Is that right?”
“I can’t do this without you. I hate asking you to give up a dream for mine.”
“Don’t you get it? It’s our dream.” He cupped her face in his hands. “You, me, and Joshua. We’re a unit.”
“I want that more than anything.”
“Enough to marry me?”
Her breath stalled. “What?”
“This isn’t exactly the way I wanted to do this. I had a whole thing in my head.”
“I don’t care.”
“Nice, Jules.” His eyebrow spiked.
“No. I mean I don’t care about a romantic gesture. You’ve been giving me one every single day. I’m the one that has to make up for it all.”
“No, you don’t. I just want you to be mine.”
“I’m yours. All yours.” She played with the shaggy ends of his hair. “We both will miss Randy and we’ll always be able to keep a piece of him with our son, but I don’t ever want you to think you aren’t enough for me.” She leaned forward and kissed away the single tear that tracked down his face. “I was blessed to have two men love me in my lifetime, but I know you miss him and love him just as much. We’re the only ones who will ever understand exactly what it meant to be loved by Randy.”
“You both taught me what it was like to love. And now with Josh, it feels like the beginning of something even more amazing. I want you with me for every second of it. So will you please freaking marry me already?”
“Yes. Yes times a million.”
He stood up with her in his arms and spun her around.
She gripped his shoulders with a laugh. “You’re a lunatic.”
“You’re damn right I am. Now I’m taking you home and making love to you properly.”
“But my favorite way is oh so improperly.”
“Well, we can do a few of those too. We’ve got some celebrating to do.”
Twenty-Five
Jules worried the little piece of porcelain in her jacket pocket as she peered out at the huge bowl-like crush of restless fans from the edges of the stage. There was a
massive cloak around the stage to keep it a surprise since it was their first massive show since…
Since the day everything changed.
“Hey.”
She turned toward the only other person who fully understood her tonight. “Hey, girl. Whoa. New hair?”
“Yeah. New tour, new married me.” Elle fluffed her red hair over her shoulder. “Decided to let Mol take the blond title for a bit.”
“Well, I approve.”
“Mal was bitching about it, but he certainly pulled it hard enough last night.”
Jules snorted. “Thanks for the deets.”
“I do what I can.” Elle slid her arm around Juliet’s waist and they both looked out into the murky darkness. The house lights dimmed and the crowd was humming. “Can you feel it?”
“What?” Jules whispered. She felt something, but it seemed to be firmly under a layer of fear. She’d been hoping for excitement, but anxiety was winning. Even her baby boy seemed to notice. That or he was teething. Maybe all of them would rest easy tonight after they got this over with.
And that was a shitty way to look at the first night in Madison Square Garden as a co-headliner.
“Ghosts.”
Jules shivered. “Tell me they’re friendly. You know, the Casper kind.”
Elle tipped her head against Juliet’s shoulder. “Yes, very. I feel Randy with us. I don’t want to make you sad, but I really do. Like he’s looking out for all of us tonight.”
The mountain-sized screen at the back of their stage lit up. There was a little blip, then thousands of tiny lights dotted the screen and bounced their way around the bowl of the arena. The crowd went wild. The screams knocked them both back a step.
“See. Ghosts.”
“I’d say the new video dude had a hand in this.” But it did remind her of Sparks. Enough that all the ethereal dots made her eyes sting.
“Nope.” Elle shivered a little. “That wasn’t in our rehearsals.”
Juliet’s shoulders scrunched up to her ears. She hadn’t been able to make it through a full rehearsal yet. She showed up after everything was set up and they were a few songs in. For the first two days, it had taken a shot of tequila to get her ass on the stage, period.
Tonight?
She was sober as fuck.
She wasn’t going to use a crutch to do this. Either she was a part of this band on and off the stage or she wasn’t. Period.
“We’re going to be amazing. And your peeps are here to make sure we are.” Elle pointed to the other side of the stage where Tristan stood with the baby strapped to his chest, huge headphones over his little ears.
Jules sighed. “He told me he was going to stay on the bus.”
“Come on. He wants to be here for you.”
Jules rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I just don’t want to disappoint them. What if I end up running down the aisle and out the back door?”
“First of all, you’d get tackled by way too many fans who are hot for you.”
Jules elbowed her. “Stop.”
“Seriously. You’re smokin’ hot. You already were vying for Mol’s spot, but now you’ve got super boobs. We’re all jealous.”
“Shut up.” She tugged at her bustier. The fun fact that people didn’t know was that it required a damn lot of pumping to get herself ready for a ninety-minute show. Add in a little nerves and she already was living in a nightmare where she’d shoot milk out into the crowd, directly followed by the screen falling and flattening her entire band.
No big deal though. Excitement was her middle name.
God, why had she wanted to do this?
Across the stage in the wings, Tristan waved to her with Joshua’s flailing hand. His baby bobbling head was practically spinning with all the lights and activity. Her heart was currently one of Tristan’s killer brownies with a gooey center of caramel because her two guys were here. And at the same time she wanted to scream at Tristan to get out of the arena.
It made no sense and still, that was how it was every blessed night since they’d started rehearsals.
While the rest of her band was doing a countdown in excitement, she woke shaking and out of breath. Tristan understood and held her through the worst of the panic attacks. Sometimes it ended in crazy, life-affirming sex. Other nights it was just the silence and his heartbeat that put her back together.
And now it was finally time to put up or shut up.
Her hip buzzed. She pulled her phone out and her eyes burned. Margo always seemed to know when she needed her most.
You’re going to be amazing tonight. Remember that you’re stronger than your fear. And my badass sister owns that stage. I love you and wish I was there.
She tucked her phone back into her pocket, then pulled her little duck out of her jacket pocket. The bill was chipped and his eyes were crossed, but Tristan had glued him back together. She didn’t know how since he’d been nearly dust the last time she’d seen the little guy, but that was Tristan. Always there to do the impossible. And he’d given it back to her the first night on the bus with a diamond propped on its little beak.
Tristan has made his proposal official with a piece of Randy.
Because he understood her and knew that even now their best friend and lover had to be a part of their future. She thumbed the band on her ring from Tristan, along with the commitment band she never took off and tried to calm her thundering heart.
Suddenly, the screen went black and the arena went dark. The veil surrounding the stage dropped and the crowd went wild. The rest of Warning Sign slowly surrounded her. Elle stayed at her side. Mal, Luc, and Michael became an impenetrable wall behind them. Ryan lifted her up and squeezed her tight. She laughed and the tears that had been threatening leaked out.
“You ready, darlin’?”
She hugged Ryan tightly. “Yes.”
Molly stalked out in between all of them in full glitter armor and wild pink-streaked curls. Her skirts matched her hair and her white silk shell of a shirt was the ultimate in bohemian fantasy. She was as much a rockstar as Lindsey York, Brooklyn Dawn’s lead singer. The two women were even dancing around a mostly friendly rivalry.
“Are we ready to do this?” Molly flipped her hair behind her shoulders. “Because I feel we need to blow the fucking roof off this place tonight.”
“Fuck yes.” Elle straightened her strap over her shoulder. She was starting the night with her double-necked guitar in a glossy midnight blue color with a glitter topcoat that looked like the night sky. Jules was fairly certain Mal was going to be beating on his kick drum with an additional stick tonight the way he was looking at her.
Ryan set her down and hung an arm around Juliet’s neck. “I can’t wait to get out there.”
The nerves were still there, but they settled as her people surrounded her.
West held up his finger then rushed back off stage, returning with the inflatable hamster ball from their last tour. “I have a favor to ask.”
“Now?” Molly narrowed her gaze at him. “You do realize we’re going out there in two seconds?”
“I know, but I gotta do something.”
“In that thing?” Molly’s incredulous glare could melt steel. Then again, West was immune. Especially with something wild in mind. “Do you remember how long it took us to get you back on stage the last time that thing came out?”
Michael shook his head. “Li is going to kill you.”
“What she doesn’t know…” West pushed the ball between all of them, slapped everyone a high five, and dove inside. “I’m asking Lo to marry me.”
“About time,” Ryan muttered.
“What?” Jules laughed and some of her nerves dissipated. “Tonight?”
“She’s in the first section on the left hand side.”
“Well, that’s going to be interesting.” Michael crossed his arms over his guitar strap. “What happens if the crowd takes you the other way?”
“We’ll handle it.” Mal stepped forward with Luc.
<
br /> Luc’s eyebrows shot up. He took the elastic off his wrist. “Looks like the hair’s going up early tonight.”
“If you fuck up the opening song with this, I swear.” Molly’s fists were tight at her sides.
West bobbed back and forth inside the huge ball. “It’s for love. Where’s your romantic side?”
“I left it on the bus.” Molly put her hands on her hips. “All right. Let’s go get this over with.”
Mal kicked the ball closer to the edge of the stage. West landed on his ass inside the protective inner compartment. “All right, clown. You ready?”
Molly’s chin tipped down and her curls hid her face, but Jules could see the smile. Molly still liked to think she ruled the kingdom, but she was used to their shenanigans and had lightened up hugely since their first tour. However, she still didn’t like getting upstaged by anyone.
“How far do we get throw you again?” Luc asked as he put his hair up into a man bun.
West swallowed hard. “Umm. Maybe just a gentle kick to the left.”
Mal’s lips tipped up at one corner. He cracked his knuckles and gave Jules a haughty eyebrow. “Nah, that won’t get it done, son.”
Jules laughed as Ryan ran behind them doing his usual crazy antics.
West’s hands flattened on the inner walls of the protective center. “Guys. Wait, let’s talk about this first.”
Mal kicked him forward onto the stage. “Can’t hear you.”
Luc swept by Molly and gave her a hard kiss. “See you out there, Songbird.”
“They’re idiots.” Molly turned to Elle. “You look hot. You good?”
Elle nodded. “I’m more than good.”
Molly tugged on one of her chunky red curls. “Now we’re every dude’s wet dream.”
“Variety is a good thing.”
The crowd screamed and all three of them turned.
“If West was smart about this, we could have set it up as a thing with the cameras.” Molly sighed. “Men.” She narrowed her gaze on Jules. “You know I suck at the pep talks and shit.”
Juliet’s lips twitched. “Yeah.”
“But we know how hard it is for you to do this. We’re all proud of you no matter what.”