by Rose, Ashley
"Janine is still resistant," Will explained.
Ignoring her son, Caroline asked Janine, "Do you like the room? I thought it was just beautiful for a little boy."
"It is beautiful. I'm sure someone will be very happy with it," she said pointedly.
Caroline merely smiled, an expression that somehow looked completely sincere. "But not you?"
"I'm not for sale, and neither is my child or my silence," Janine stated plainly.
Caroline's chin went up a notch and her smile tightened, but it stayed on her face. "No?"
"No," Janine said decisively.
"Why is that?" Caroline asked.
"Because my silence is free. I think that what your son did was despicable, and I think the fact that you know he raped me and you're trying to buy my silence is corrupt. He should have to pay for what he did."
"Janine," Will said tiredly. "Must you keep at it with the virginal outrage? It's really getting old."
"Will, that's enough," Caroline said, then turned her smile back on and looked to Janine. "Janine, I understand that you did not wish to be pregnant at this point in your life—that is completely understandable and I sympathize. The point is, it's my son's child that you're carrying, my first grandchild, my first grandson, and as his grandmother, I want to provide your child with everything I can to make up for this."
"You can't make up for raping someone, Caroline," Janine stated. "Not with an apartment, not with anything."
Caroline gazed at Janine for a long, chilly moment, then crossed her arms across her chest and cleared her throat, saying, "Will, honey, I would like a few minutes alone with Janine. Will you wait in the living room?"
Janine glanced over at Will, and for a fleeting moment she saw pity in his eyes—but then it was gone, and he nodded, slipping his hands into his pockets and stepping out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him.
Caroline waited a moment, silent, still. She finally moved toward Janine, the sound of her high heels inordinately loud in the small space.
Janine swallowed and looked warily at the older woman, but said nothing.
"Janine, why didn't you get an abortion when you found out you were pregnant?" the woman asked bluntly.
"Because…I couldn't," Janine replied.
"Why?" Caroline pressed.
"I…I didn't think it was fair. I don't believe in abortion, so it wasn't really the route for me."
"Did you consider adoption?"
"I…couldn't do it. I thought about it briefly, but I just couldn't give my baby up."
"So you kept this pregnancy because you want a child?" Caroline asked to clarify.
"Yes," Janine said with a slight nod.
Caroline nodded and took a few more steps around the room. "Didn't my son offer to let you keep this child if you simply let him be a part of his life? Didn't he say that he would cause you no trouble and he would help you financially and any other way, if only you would share a child that belongs to both of you anyway?"
That ignited Janine's temper and she said, " Let me keep it? It's my child, it isn't his. Will has no right to this child—he raped me!"
"Did he?" Caroline asked, her tone patronizing.
Janine could only stare, wide-eyed, because she knew Will said he had come clean to his mother about the conception.
"My handsome, well-to-do son—who has no problem getting girlfriends, I might add—must have seemed like an excellent target to you. I mean, considering his reputation with women, you must have known getting him into bed would be no problem—a situation that needs to be remedied, certainly, but it isn't a crime."
"Last I checked, rape was a crime," Janine stated immovably.
"Don't be ridiculous, Janine. Why would he rape you?"
"Because—"
Cutting her off, Caroline went on, "What seems more likely here is that you saw a young man from a good family and you knew he was going to be successful, and you saw an opportunity. I'm not blaming you, dear. I understand that it's hard growing up poor, and I don't hold your opportunistic nature against you."
Janine could only gape at the woman, hardly believing her nerve.
"Obviously you seduced my son or allowed yourself to be seduced by him, and now that you're pregnant, in order to escape the responsibility of it you're trying to say my son raped you, to relieve yourself of any guilt."
"I'm not making it up!" Janine said, a little upset at the way the meeting was going. "I don't want anything from you people, I just want you out of my life. You're all sick and twisted. I'm not going to tell anyone that your son raped me, even though he did. But I'm also not going to let your perverted asshole of a son visit my kid, and you can't make me."
"Really?" Caroline asked, as if she had never heard something more ridiculous. "You don't think that my son has any right to see his biological son?"
Shaking her head, Janine said, "Okay, I can see I'm not going to get anywhere with you. I was hoping that you would see that I want to be a good mother to my son, and you would agree to just let me go away. I would never say anything. All I want is to live my life with the man I want to marry, and for your son to stay away from me. I don't want your apartment or your money or anything else, so that's the only situation I'm willing to agree to." Janine started walking toward the door, hating that she had wasted her time meeting with Will's mom.
"I wouldn't suggest that you leave, Janine, unless you're prepared to fight a custody battle that you stand no chance of winning."
Janine stopped dead in her tracks, her whole body going cold at the threat. "I'm sorry, are you serious?" she asked, turning to look over her shoulder.
"Quite."
"You really think that a court in New York is going to force me to share custody with my rapist?"
"Oh no, Janine, you won't be sharing custody. In fact, by the end of the trial I doubt the judge will even see fit to give you visitations."
Janine couldn't help it. She laughed. "Right. Even though I've never done anything to prove myself an unfit parent, I'm sure that you're right, Caroline," she said sarcastically. "I'm sure they're going to favor the rapist and give him custody over the mother."
"The mentally unstable mother, you mean?" she asked innocently.
Frowning, Janine turned completely around and said, "Excuse me?"
Sighing, Caroline said, "Janine, I had really hoped it wouldn't come to this. I mean, you're the mother of my grandchild and I would hate for such awful things to come out about you, but I'm afraid if it comes down to a custody issue, for the safety and well-being of my grandchild, I'm going to have to insist that he be removed from your custody."
"On what grounds? I am not mentally unstable."
"Really? That's funny, because I seem to recall that when I ran a background check on you—a very thorough background check—I found records with psychologists that stated otherwise."
Instead of feeling cold, Janine's body felt hot all over and she swallowed, tensing herself for the next blow.
"It seems my son is not the first person you've accused of making inappropriate sexual advances on you. In fact, it would seem that just about any man who finds himself alone in a room with you is accused of either raping or molesting you. You're either the most unfortunate victim of sexual crime that I've ever come across, or you're deluded and you make up lies about every man who comes into contact with you."
"That isn't true," Janine stated quietly.
"According to your records, you've been put on suicide watch, you've been prescribed a multitude of drugs to try to fix your chemical imbalance, and you've been through at least five psychologists—all of them female, of course, because you refused to go in a room alone with the one man they tried to give you an appointment with."
"How the hell do you know these things?" Janine asked, her voice shaking slightly. "My records are supposed to be confidential."
"It's supposed to be confidential? Why? You don't want anyone knowing that you make up lies to ruin the lives of every
man—"
"I did not lie!" Janine said, louder than she meant to. "Those things did happen to me, and I didn't want a male psychologist because I didn't trust men. All the ones that I was supposed to be able to trust hurt me! You can't say I'm an unfit mother because I was molested as a child."
"Watch me," Caroline said smoothly. "You are trying to sully my son's reputation, ruin him just like the others, one more man who victimized poor little Janine."
"Stop it!" Janine said, hating that tears were burning behind her eyes. "Those things did happen, and you can't use them against me. I went to psychologists because I had emotional trauma and I needed to get past it. I was put on suicide watch because that particular psychologist was a flake. She had no idea what I was thinking and she even told me that. She didn't know what I was going to do, that's the only reason—"
"She wanted to hospitalize you," Caroline said over Janine's protests. "She was going to put you in a psychiatric hospital. Tell me, Janine, why was she going to commit you to a psychiatric hospital? Did the psychologist make up mean stories about you, too? Just like everybody else? I want you to have a full psychological evaluation before that child is born; I am sincerely concerned for the child's well-being. You could hurt yourself or someone else. I'm concerned you might be schizophrenic, with everyone out to get you."
"Oh my God. You're a monster." Janine said quietly, slowly backing away from Caroline.
Smiling slightly, Caroline said, "Am I victimizing you, too? How many people does that make, Janine? You know, the more you talk, the more paranoid you sound. I'm honestly not sure I should even let you go home. In fact…yes…"
"What?" Janine asked, hating the way her voice shook.
"I'm thinking that perhaps you should be hospitalized for the remainder of your pregnancy, so that you can't hurt the child."
"I would never—"
"After all, you've convinced yourself that it's a byproduct of your victimization…and I do believe you were diagnosed with a psychosis by your last therapist, the one you stopped going to. You're clearly a very sick girl, Janine, and while I feel very bad for you and sympathize with your illness, I'm afraid I can't let you hurt my grandchild."
Janine could feel pressure building up in her chest, and she realized it was getting a little bit difficult to breathe. Caroline was backing her farther and farther into a corner, and she just needed to get out.
Before she could think better of it, she jerked the door open and ran out into the living room, running over to Will and grabbing his arm.
"Will, please, say something to your mother! She's making me out to be a nutcase, she's trying to say she's going to have me hospitalized until I have the baby and then she wants to take him from me!"
Will's jaw hung open for a few seconds, then he lightly touched Janine's arm, saying, "What do you want me to do?"
"Help me," she said, on the brink of tears.
Sighing, he said, "Janine, I tried to tell you… you should have dealt with me. I would have gone easier on you."
"That woman is a monster," Janine stated passionately. "She dug out the most sordid details of my past and she's trying to blame me for bad things that happened and… she's saying I'm crazy, Will. I'm not crazy!"
"Come here," he said, pulling Janine into his arms and hugging her. "Calm down, you're freaking out."
He was the least likely savior, but in comparison to his mother he was a guardian angel.
"You have to tell her," Janine said, pulling back and looking up at him. "You have to tell her that I'm not crazy."
He looked vaguely uncomfortable as he said, "Janine, I really don't know you that well. If your files say there's something wrong with you…"
She pushed away from him immediately, feeling oddly betrayed. "You're not going to help me. What was I thinking? She's on your side…"
"Now, wait," Will said. "Janine. I don't think you're crazy—different, sure, but I don't think you need to be hospitalized. I think what you need to do is calm down and go back in there—"
"She wants to take my child from me," Janine stated frantically. "That's what she was saying. I didn't go along with her idea so she turned it all around on me and had me looking like some crazy person unfit to care for a child."
"Well, then, we can go back in there together and I will try to talk her out of that. I don't want you to be removed from the baby's life. That isn't what I want at all. Listen, we have to go back in there, okay? Are you with me?"
Reeling with confusion and fear, Janine said, "I think so."
"Okay. Come on, let's go back in there."
Janine slowly walked back down the hallway and into the bedroom with Will. Caroline stood there looking much less friendly than she had when Janine first entered the apartment.
"Mom, Janine wants to make peace."
Caroline merely looked at Janine, not looking pleased with what she saw anymore.
"Mom," Will said more firmly. "I don't want Janine to be separated from our child. That is an absolute last resort."
"Well, she doesn't seem amenable to any of the extremely generous offers that I wanted to make her. She seems set on keeping you out of that child's life, and if that's how she wants to do it—"
"She changed her mind," he said. "Didn't you, Janine?"
Since she had said no such thing, Janine remained silent.
"Janine?" he prompted.
"I didn't say that," she said quietly.
"See," Caroline said.
"Janine, you came in asking me for help," Will reminded her.
"Because your mom was attacking me!"
"Oh, now I was assaulting her—will the lies never stop? William, I am seriously concerned about the mental stability of this girl."
"I didn't say that," Janine said. "But you were threatening to take my baby away from me and make me look like some nutcase so the courts would say I'm an unfit mother, and none of that is true."
Will cut in saying, "Mom, just tell Janine exactly what you want her to do. Stop scaring her."
"I want her to get help," Caroline stated.
"I don't need help," Janine shot back.
"Well, fine, then I will tell you both what I want," Will said. "All I want is to be a part of the baby's life. Janine, I don't want to take him away from you or put you in a psychiatric hospital, all I want is to be in his life. You can marry Jess and otherwise live the life you want to. I just want to be allowed to help you. I would like it if you would move into this apartment—you don't have to pay anything but the utilities—so that I know the baby is in a safe environment with enough room."
After a moment, Janine said, "I'll allow visitations, but only on the terms we discussed before—I have to be present. I'm not leaving you alone with him."
"That's perfectly fine. I will want the visitations to be whenever I want to see him," Will countered.
Janine nodded, swallowing.
"And the apartment?" he asked.
"I don't know," she said quietly. "I don't know. I have to talk to Jess about it."
"You also have to stop claiming that I raped you," he stated.
Her gaze shot hatefully to his eyes and she said, "That was not a false claim and you know it."
He raised his eyebrows, unmoving. "Do you agree or should I leave you to discuss this with my mother?"
Sighing in helpless frustration, she said, "I will stop claiming that…fine."
"Your new story will be that you and I simply hooked up one night."
Wordlessly, she nodded.
"You will not try to stand in the way of my career in the future, and you will be cooperative if at any point our relationship comes out."
She said nothing, just stood there while Will laid out the terms.
"Do you agree?" he asked.
"Yes, Will," she said shortly.
"Good," he said with a little smile. "I think you'll see, Janine. You'll see I'm not such a bad guy."
"May I leave?" she asked slowly.
Glancing
to his mother, he said, "I think I covered pretty much all of it. I don't want to control you, Janine, I just need to know that you're going to cooperate. I think you'll see that together we can make his life better, not worse."
She nodded tightly, and then she murmured a good-bye and turned to walk out of the room.
"Wait, I'll get you cab money," Will said, reaching into his wallet.
"I don't need it, I'll walk home," she replied, just wanting to be out of the apartment building.
"Okay, but I didn't get to show you your bedroom," he pointed out.
"There will plenty of time to see it later," she said. Then she made her way out the door and down the stairs as quickly as she possibly could.
***
That night Janine made up her mind that she needed to come clean to Jess, to tell him the truth about Will. But each time she opened her mouth to start the conversation, the words died on her tongue and she would just end up closing her mouth, thinking about how badly Jess was going to freak out when she told him Will was the rapist—and that wasn't even the best part. She had given Will permission to visit the baby whenever he wanted, and to publicly claim the child as his.
Jess was going to hate her.
Well, okay, he wasn't going to hate her, but he was not going to agree to that bargain.
There would be another fight, and Janine simply didn't have the spirit or the energy for it. She had been bullied, terrified, comforted by her rapist, and then bullied some more. She was ready for the day to be over.
That evening when it was time for Jess to go to bed, Janine followed him into the bedroom and curled up next to him, wrapping her arms around him and holding on tight, as if she might lose him if she let go.
She didn't know what was going to happen in the future. What she did know was that if she went along with what Will said, she would be able to marry Jess and at least try to salvage the life that she had planned, with only a few minor inconveniences.
Or she could go up against Will and his mother, and risk being taken to court and made to look like a psychotic head case. Her child would be taken from her, and depending on the level of their depravity, the Chathams might actually have Janine committed to a psychiatric hospital.