by Sara Mack
I turn on the faucet and watch the water run down the drain. Not only is Dane engaged to the smart, probably beautiful, world-saving Teagan, the company he works for is owned by his fiancées parents! Why did he even pretend to care about me if he was in love with someone else? Here I am beating myself up over what happened between us when he had a living, breathing girlfriend all along. We almost slept together! Oh God. I close my eyes. Now I can add “other woman” to my list of faults. My reputation grows closer to what Mrs. Davis, James’ mother, thinks of me. She called me a whore once. Maybe she was on to something. Tears threaten again, and as I stare at myself in the mirror, I make a pact with my reflection. I’m not going to bury myself in a grave of self-loathing over this. I had no idea he was engaged.
After I splash some water on my face, I walk back out to the living room and see LB has curled up to sleep on the blankets instead of clawing the couch to pieces. I eye Dane’s gifts and scowl. I don’t want them anymore, but I know someone who might. Walking over to the television, I quickly disconnect the cable wires and AV cords. I attempt to pick up the TV and find that it’s light, but awkward to hold. I set it back down and head to Garrett’s apartment, knocking loudly on his door.
“Yes?” he asks when he appears in the doorway.
“I need my old stuff back.”
He looks wounded. “Oh. Well…all right.” He turns to look at my old loveseat and television, which is turned on. “It’ll just take a second to disconnect…”
“I want you to take my new stuff,” I add hastily. “In trade.” I don’t want him to think I’ve suddenly turned into a raging witch.
His eyes widen in surprise. “You don’t want the Cadillac?”
I cross my arms. “Not anymore.”
He takes a minute to assess me and notices I’ve been crying. “Are you okay?”
“Perfect,” I say a bit too harshly. “Come on.”
He follows me to my place, and we walk over to the television. “You take one end, and I’ll take the other.”
He grabs one side. “Are you sure you don’t want this?”
I look him in the eye. “Absolutely.”
We carry the flat screen over to his apartment and set it on the floor. Garrett collects my old tube television and starts to carry it out the door, but stops. “You’re sure?” he asks me again.
“Yes!”
I follow him back down the hallway and then reach around him to open my door. We walk across the room again, and LB looks up at us annoyed. We’re interrupting her nap.
Garrett works to reconnect the cables. “So, what happened?”
I shake my head. “I wouldn’t want to bore you with the details.”
“Try me.”
Just then we hear a knock. I look at Garrett confused, and he shrugs. I move to open the door and find Samantha and Todd, our neighbors from upstairs, standing in the hallway.
“Hi!” Samantha grins at me, all perky and blonde and made-up.
“Hey,” I try to smile at them. I pray that my red splotches have disappeared by now.
“We haven’t seen you in awhile,” she says and looks past me. She notices Garrett. “Oh good, we can invite him too,” she tells Todd.
“What’s up?” I ask.
“We wanted to know if everyone wanted to hang out,” Todd says. “We all live together, but we hardly know each other. Jessica’s in.” Jessica is our other neighbor upstairs. “How about you guys?”
I look at the two of them. I remember when I first moved in and met them. I thought then that they appeared to be the typical sorority-fraternity type; you know, homecoming royalty, social butterflies. It seems I was right. I glance back at Garrett with my eyebrows raised, silently asking yes or no?
“I think that’s a great idea,” Garrett says enthusiastically, surprising me. He walks over to us. “What did you guys have in mind?”
“We’re heading to Wayside,” Samantha says. She looks me up and down. “Meet you there in, say, an hour?”
If she’s expecting me to get more dressed up than this, she’s sadly mistaken. I eye what she’s wearing, and she’s all dolled up in a small-little-white-tank-top and skintight jeans. I’ve been to Wayside on several occasions; it’s a big place with several bars, a large dance floor, and a huge game room. I can blend in easily without needing to dress cute, especially on a Friday night. I look at Garrett and shrug.
“We’ll meet you there,” he says with a smile.
“Great,” Todd says. “We’ll hang around the entrance until you guys show up.”
“Bye!” Samantha wiggles her fingers at us over her shoulder as they leave.
I close the door and look at Garrett.
“What?” he asks.
“I thought you weren’t a socialite?”
“Can you blame me for wanting to get out once and awhile?”
“No.” Actually, I’d like to get out once in awhile. I need to get out, especially after my recent discovery. “Meet you at your place in fifteen?”
He smiles. “Sure thing.”
Less than an hour later, Garrett and I arrive at Wayside. I ended up changing clothes before we left after all, but my outfit is a far cry from Samantha’s painted on one. I made sure the remnants of my tears were gone, threw on some lip gloss, pulled a comb through my hair, kissed LB, and out the door I went.
The bar is packed. At first, we have a hard time locating Samantha and Todd. We finally find them standing by the bar, not the entrance, with Jessica. She waves excitedly at us, and I can’t help but notice how cute she looks, all five feet of her, with her brown hair meticulously curled. I instantly feel a pang of regret for not taking a longer time with my appearance. Both girls appear to be looking for a night out on the town. I just wanted to leave my apartment.
“Hi guys!” Samantha greets us. She turns toward the bar, grabs something, and turns back toward us. She’s holding a shot glass in each hand. “For you.” She hands one to Garrett and then one to me. I notice Jessica and Todd are already holding theirs.
“To new neighbors!” Todd says and raises his glass.
Ah. Barbie and Ken like to party. I should have guessed.
“To new neighbors!” We clink our glasses and throw back the shots. I try to keep my composure as the liquor burns its way down my throat. What was that? Samantha, Todd, and Jessica slam their glasses down on the bar. I look at Garrett and make a face at my glass.
“Whiskey,” he answers my question.
Ouch. My throat burns. “Remind me not to do that again,” I whisper, and he laughs.
Jessica spies an empty table between the dance floor and the bar. “I’m going to claim that before someone else does,” she says and heads over.
I follow her. The table has a good view of the dance floor, and I sit on the end, so I can people watch without having to look over heads. Garrett sits between Jessica and I; Samantha and Todd take seats across from us.
“So,” Todd says, simultaneously snapping his fingers at a passing waitress, “how’s everyone enjoying our humble abode?”
“My apartment is great,” Jessica pipes up from beside Garrett, “aside from the paper thin walls.” She eyes Samantha and Todd pointedly. “Really? Three a.m.? Every Saturday?”
I’m surprised by Jessica’s boldness. She’s such a little thing. I look at Todd and Samantha for their reaction, expecting them to be embarrassed. Instead, it’s just the opposite. They show no signs of remorse.
Todd smirks. “I’ll buy you some ear plugs for Christmas.”
I look at Garrett, my eyebrows raised, and he looks at me with the same expression. What is up with these two? I’m immediately grateful I live on the bottom floor.
The waitress stops by our table. “What’ll it be?”
Todd defers to me first. “Nothing. Wait, water, please,” I order.
Everyone but Garrett looks at me with a puzzled expression. Todd moves on to Garrett, who orders a beer, Jessica gets a Fuzzy Navel, Samantha orders a Cosmopoli
tan, and Todd gets a Jack and Coke.
“You don’t drink?” Samantha asks me, like it’s a tragedy.
“Not very often,” I shrug.
She turns her attention to Garrett. “I can’t help but notice your eyes,” she says in a flirty tone. “Where do you get your color contacts? I get mine online.”
I study her eyes. Obviously they are not naturally blue. My gaze falls to her chest. I’m starting to doubt that’s real as well.
Garrett smiles. “I don’t wear contacts.”
“Really?” Samantha looks impressed. “You must have some amazing genes. Does that color run in your family?”
Garrett shakes his head. “Nope. I’m the lucky one.”
“I bet your kids will have that color,” Jessica says, joining the conversation. I notice the dreamy expression on her face as she looks at Garrett. Does she have a thing for him?
Todd snaps his fingers loudly and points at me. “That’s where I know you from!”
I look at him confused. “I’m sorry?”
“I knew you looked familiar,” he says. He looks at his girlfriend. “Didn’t I tell you she looked familiar?”
Samantha nods empathically.
“Your James Davis’ girlfriend, aren’t you? The guy who died winter semester.”
I’m shocked to hear James’ name. I’ve never met Todd before I moved in a few weeks ago. I slowly nod.
“I knew it!” He slaps the table like he just won a bet. “I was at that bonfire thing this summer for his birthday.”
“Did you know James?” I ask. I can’t imagine James being friends with someone like Todd. He’s too arrogant.
“Not personally. I crashed the party with some buddies of mine that knew him.”
Well, we can add rude next to arrogant on Todd’s list of character traits.
“You crashed a party for someone who died that you didn’t even know?” Jessica asks skeptically. “That’s kind of low, don’t you think?”
I shoot her a grateful look for saying aloud what I was thinking. She gives me a smile.
“It was no biggie,” he shrugs.
Samantha leans forward, her fake-blue eyes wide. “Is it true that he was trying to outrun the cops when he crashed?”
My face twists in irritation. “No. He fell asleep.”
“Well, I heard that he was either high or drunk or both. He had to be to hit that tree as hard as he did.”
“That’s insane,” I say, agitated. “Where did you hear that?”
She shrugs. “Word gets around. I also heard that he got in a big fight with his girlfriend…I mean, you, that night.”
My heart starts to pound, and I snap, “That’s none of your business.”
Samantha leans back and holds her hands up in front of her likely fake breasts. “Whoa. Okay.”
My mouth settles into a thin line. I don’t want to make enemies of my neighbors, but these two are something else.
Noticing the tension, Garrett interrupts, trying to change the topic. “So, what do you think about the football team this year?”
“Oh, hey!” Todd grabs the arm of someone walking by our table. He seems unfazed by the fact that he’s just been called out as extremely rude, and his girlfriend and I almost came to blows.
“Hi Todd!” a female voice squeaks. He stands up to give this person a hug. She walks around him and hugs Samantha. “Hey, you!”
When she faces the rest of us, I recognize her immediately. My chest constricts, and my expression hardens. It’s Rebecca. The same girl who, at the birthday bonfire, accidently told me about the time she spent with James – my James – the night he died. Now I understand who Todd crashed the party with. This does not improve my opinion of him one bit.
“Who are your friends?” Rebecca asks slowly, focused on me.
“These are our neighbors,” Samantha says, oblivious to Rebecca’s change in demeanor. “Jessica, Garrett, and Emma.” She points at each of us.
Rebecca gives us all a tiny smile, but she’s still focused on me. “Nice to meet you.” Her hands wrap around the arms of a sweatshirt she has tied around her waist, and her action pulls my attention away from her face. Judging by the way her fingers clutch the material, it can only be one thing. James’ hoodie, the one he gave her the night he died. Does she never take it off? My eyes widen, and I inhale sharply. Garrett notices, giving me a questioning look.
Our waitress appears with our drink order, distracting everyone. Rebecca makes a hasty departure, saying goodbye to Samantha and Todd, as the glasses are passed around. The waitress hands me my water, but I stop her by asking, “Could you bring me something stronger?” This day has gone from bad to worse, and a little numbness sounds appealing.
“Sure. What would you like?”
I consider her question for a second. “A Long Island Iced Tea.”
The waitress nods. “I’ll be right back.”
Todd overhears my order and nods approvingly. “Now that’s what I’m talking about!”
I’ve never been this drunk in my life. The daiquiris at Matt’s on the Fourth of July were nothing compared to this. That was giggle drunk. This feels a little more serious.
I downed my first Long Island quickly and, with the whiskey shot from earlier, I was pleasantly buzzed and having a much easier time of putting up with Todd and Samantha. It also helped that they left the table to grope each other on the dance floor. To my right, however, I did have to listen to Jessica coming on to Garrett for most of the night. She wasn’t being overly obnoxious though. She’s actually a very sweet girl. I ordered another drink for something to do, and I was half way through it when things started to get fuzzy. I’m such a lightweight.
“Everything okay?” Garrett moves toward me as Jessica leaves to use the restroom.
“Umm hmm.” I blink slowly. “I think she likes you.”
He smiles at me. “What’s not to like?”
I laugh hard enough to snort, which makes me laugh harder.
“It looks like I’m driving us home,” he says and finishes the last of his beer. When the waitress comes back to ask if he wants another, he tells her no.
“So,” he says, “you don’t handle stress well.”
I pretend to be shocked and press my hand against my chest. “Whatever do you mean?”
“Just the thought or the mention of James pushes you over the edge.”
“Pffftttt.” I playfully push him away from me. “What was your first clue? My nervous breakdown or,” I pick up my glass, “my random drunkenness?” I take a drink.
“Both.”
I wink at him. “Well, I’ll tell you what. If James could love me the way I love him I wouldn’t be in this state of which you behold me now.”
He smirks. “That makes absolutely no sense.”
“It does!” I say adamantly.
Garrett reaches for my nearly empty glass and takes it away from me. “I think you’ve had enough of this.” He places it far out of my reach on the table.
I cross my arms and pout dramatically, which makes him laugh.
“Are you going to tell me what happened today?” he asks.
My face lights up. “Yes!” My voice is a bit too loud, and I reach for his arm. Holding on to it with both hands, I shake it. “I went shopping and I bought you all kinds of good stuff and I was singing.”
He looks at me, puzzled. “You were singing about buying me stuff?”
“No silly!” I shake my head. It feels wobbly on my neck and my vision blurs. I reach out and grab his shoulder to anchor myself. “It made me sing.”
Garrett pries my fingers from his shoulder with his frigid hand. “You’re stronger than you look.”
I lean in to him conspiratorially. “Not on the inside,” I whisper and then look around. “Don’t tell anybody. It’s a secret.”
He deposits my hand back into my lap. My body feels like it’s swaying, like I’m on a boat in the water. I set my elbow on the table and then rest my head against my hand.
“Why are you so cold all the time?” I ask. “Are you sick?”
“No, I’m not sick.” He looks me in the eyes. “I’m healing.”
“From what?” I ask, overly serious.
“From a lifetime of servitude.”
I roll my eyes in an exaggerated way. “Now who’s not mandating sense?”
“Still you,” he chuckles.
I turn and look at the dance floor. I see Jessica talking with Samantha while Todd has his face practically buried in his girlfriend’s chest. Gross. “Do you think they’re happy?” I ask Garrett.
“Who?”
I gesture toward the dance floor. “The Samanthas and Todds of this world.”
He looks past me and grimaces. “I think they’re made for each other, that’s for sure.”
I sigh and rest my head on my hand again. “Do you think you can fall in love with more than one person at the same time?”
Garrett looks surprised. “I don’t know. I’ve never done it.”
My eyes grow wide, and I sit up straight. “Me either!” I say emphatically. “I’m still in love with James! You believe that, don’t you?”
He eyes me, puzzled. “Sure. Whatever you say.”
“But Dane, he’s engaged. Engaged!” I grab Garrett’s arm again and whisper, “Do know what that means?”
“It means he’s getting married?”
“Yes! To some woman named Teagan,” I twist her name in my mouth.
“I take it you don’t want him to get married?”
I let go of his arm and move to rest my head against the table. I try to put it down gently, but it makes a thud and pain shoots across my forehead. “No, I don’t!” I whine. “And ow!”
“Do you love Dane too?” Garrett asks me.
I stare at the table. “Yes. No. I don’t know.”
“It would be okay to fall in love with someone else,” he says softly.
“No, it wouldn’t!” I pull my head off the table too fast and when I look at Garrett he has three faces. “James is my Guardian! He can see me!”
Garrett looks around quickly, as if making sure no one else heard my outburst. “We need to get you home,” he suddenly decides and grabs my elbow to help me stand. “Where are your keys?”
I pull my keys out of my pocket and hand them to him. The room starts to spin and my stomach begins to twist. “Should we tell the others we’re going?” I ask, holding on to the chair for support.