Allegiant

by Sara Mack

  Hey Grace.

  It’s Dane. I earned that nickname after a rather grace-less fall in front of him. What could he possibly want? The last thing I want to do is respond; I need more time to plan what to say. But James’ voice rings in my ears from this morning – “Don’t let him get away with it.” Let’s get this over with.

  What do you want? I send. I hope my rude tone is implied.

  Just to say hi. How have you been?

  How have I been? Well, let’s be honest. Pissed. Sad. Intoxicated. You?

  What’s wrong?

  I let out a short, harsh laugh. You tell me.

  How would I know what’s wrong??

  I’m not in the mood for games. Really? Ask your fiancée.

  It takes less than a minute for my cell to ring. Dane is calling, and I refuse to answer. I prefer to handle this over text; I don’t want him to hear my voice. I’m terrible at lying, and I’m terrible at fighting. I want to come across as angry, not emotional. He calls three more times, and I send each call to voicemail.

  He texts again. Answer the phone.

  No.

  Please.

  I don’t want to talk to you.

  Let me explain.

  Explain what? That he’s a liar? No need. I understand perfectly.

  You don’t understand anything at all.

  It’s pointless to argue; he lied and we’re through. Lose my number.

  The phone goes silent. The longer it stays that way, the more pressure builds inside my chest. I set the phone down and curl on my side on the bed, pressing my face against the pillow. My heart hurts again, and I’m unsure if it’s due to sadness or anger. I fight back tears as I silently wonder how long it will take James to realize my pain and return to me.

  Almost instantly, I hear a knock on the door and bolt upright. Who could that be? James wouldn’t knock. When I open the door, I’m surprised to see Garrett standing there.

  “What’s up?” I try to ask normally. A suspicious lump has formed in my throat.

  “Is James here?” he asks, looking anxiously around the room.

  “No, not right now. He’s been looking for you all day though.”

  Garrett steps inside. “You need to call him. It’s urgent.”

  “Call him how?”

  “There’s no need,” James says from behind me, making me jump. “I’m right here.”

  Chapter 8

  “We need to talk,” Garrett says and walks around me.

  James crosses his arms. “I agree.”

  The two of them stare at each other, as if at an impasse, and nothing of consequence has even been said. I close the door. “Don’t let me get in your way.” I blink to get rid of any lingering tears and start to make my way to the bedroom.

  James reaches out and stops me. “Everything okay?”

  I nod and give him half a smile. “I didn’t let Dane get away with it.”

  His jaw tenses. “He’s hurt you again?”

  I glance at Garrett, and his attention is directed to me as well. “Everything’s fine.” I look back at James. “I’ll leave you two alone.” I start to head out of the room.

  “Wait,” James says. “I think you should stay.”

  Garrett speaks up. “I’m not sure that would be wise.”

  James turns to him. “Why? You’re the one who involved her. She deserves an explanation just as much as I do.”

  Garrett shoots James an exasperated look. “Now is not the time to be complicated.”

  “We’re a package deal.” James takes my hand. “You know that.”

  Garrett looks frustrated as I nervously shift my gaze from him to James and back again. I don’t want to hang around if things are going to get nasty.

  Apparently my neighbor concedes because he heads to the couch. We follow. He sits at one end, and I take a seat at the other, folding my legs beneath me. James remains standing. Garrett leans back, looks around for a moment, and assesses the furniture. “The Cadillac is comfortable,” he smirks at me. “Are you still willing to give it up?”

  I grimace. “Definitely.”

  Perturbed and confused, James asks, “We’re discussing how the couch feels?”

  Garrett turns to him. “Sorry. It’s been awhile since I’ve felt anything.”

  James raises his eyebrows in surprise.

  “Listen,” Garrett leans forward, setting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands in front of him, “we have a problem.”

  “We?” James crosses his arms again.

  “Apparently, my absence hasn’t gone unnoticed.”

  James scoffs. “That sounds like your problem, not mine.”

  “Did you tell anyone I was gone? Ask about me after I left?”

  “My demeanor hasn’t exactly been conducive to making friends.”

  “So you’ve talked to no one?”

  “I’ve tried to keep to myself,” James pauses. “But no, there is one person I’ve been speaking to.”

  “Who?”

  “Thomas.”

  Garrett narrows his eyes at James. “What does he look like?”

  James shrugs. “He’s an older guy with glasses.”

  And with that, another person takes form in my living room. It startles me, and I spring off the couch and to James’ side in two steps. He wraps his arm protectively around my shoulders.

  The man appears midway between Garrett and James. He’s an older gentleman, with light brown hair and a moustache that is starting to gray. He’s wears thin-framed eyeglasses and a white shirt, covered by a tan sport coat with matching slacks.

  “Hey kid,” the man smiles at James in a fatherly way.

  “Thomas?” James blinks, surprised.

  Garrett turns to Thomas and stands. “You’ve been speaking with him? I asked you to keep an eye on him, that’s all!”

  “The boy was miserable,” Thomas defends himself. “I couldn’t let him suffer. Besides, you said yourself that you didn’t have enough time with him before you left.”

  “You’ve been training him?”

  Thomas hesitates. “Not exactly. Just filling in some blanks.”

  “What about your duty? What about Arnold?”

  “My Ward is fine,” Thomas says and puts his hands in his pockets. “He’s been moved to a nursing home. He can’t get into too much trouble there.” He smiles at James and me.

  “Why are you here?” James asks. “Can someone start making some sense?”

  Thomas takes a step forward. “Garrett asked one of us to accompany him tonight, just in case you lost your temper again. Two against one might keep you a little calmer.” He shifts his focus and gives me warm smile. “You must be the lovely Emma.”

  My gaze leaves Thomas and shoots to James. He gives me a reassuring look and then turns his attention to the two other Guardians in the room. I do the same. “Um…nice to meet you?” I cautiously say. Is there a protocol I should be following here?

  “Likewise,” Thomas says and nods.

  Garrett rubs his fingers against his forehead as if he can physically clear his mind. “If you’re the only one he’s talked to, then what did Joss and Meg overhear at Assembly? Maybe they’re wrong.”

  Thomas turns to Garrett. “Joss wouldn’t lie.”

  Garrett sighs, frowning. “I know she wouldn’t.” He looks defeated. “We need to meet. All of us.”

  All of us? I think. Are more people going to materialize in my apartment? I’m starting to reconsider the whole need-to-know thing on my part.

  “Do you think that’s a good idea?” Thomas asks. “If we’re all away at the same time…”

  “I don’t think we have a choice.” Garrett puts his hands on his hips and shifts his weight.

  “Hold on,” James interrupts, removing his arm from my shoulders and walking toward the two Guardians. “Meet who? About what?”

  James is out of the loop, and it’s starting to piss him off. I think now would be the best time for me to exit this little gathering. If a
fight is about to break out, I’d rather not be present.

  Thomas and Garrett start to speak over one another.

  “The rest of…”

  “James, I think…”

  “Ah, hello?” I give a small wave, so I’m noticed. The conversation ceases and everyone turns to face me. “I’m sorry for interrupting but being as how I’m the only human in the room, I should probably go.” I take a few tentative steps. “I’ll just head out for a few hours and you guys can –”

  “I’m human too.”

  I freeze in place, staring at Garrett.

  He gives me a tiny smile. “Well, half human, anyway.”

  My focus immediately shifts to James, and he looks completely blindsided, as if he’s been slapped in the face. Thomas takes a measured step and stands between the two of them. “Just in case,” he nods to me. “They can’t hurt each other, but they can sure scare the hell out of you.”

  “How?” James asks quietly, disbelieving.

  Garrett steps to the side. “The method was stumbled upon, and I’m the guinea pig.”

  James looks away from Garrett and to me, as if looking for confirmation that I’m hearing this too. I stare back at him, wide-eyed. A million questions pass between us.

  Thomas relaxes and steps out of the way.

  “There is a group of us that no longer wish to be Guardians,” Garrett explains. “The opportunity to be released has passed us all.” His expression twists. “None of our true loves chose us. After years of serving The Allegiant, we’ve finally found another way out.”

  “How?” James asks again, this time with more determination. “What’s the method? Count me in!”

  “Whoa,” Thomas says, stepping back in front of James. “It’s not that simple.”

  “Right now, we need to concentrate on keeping this a secret,” Garrett continues. “We need you to lay low and keep your eyes and ears open. The Allegiant won’t come around asking questions without good cause. Do your best by Emma and don’t call attention to yourself. Without a reason to question my teaching, they shouldn’t need to talk to you – or me. They cannot find out that I’ve left the Intermediate or where I’ve gone. We need to find out what was overheard and where it came from. If The Allegiant get even a hint of what we’re up to, it’s the end for all of us.”

  James steps back. “Fine.” He gives them both a hard look. “But I want in. All the way. Who else knows about this?”

  The three of them have obviously forgotten that I’m in the room.

  Thomas turns to Garrett. “We’ll have to introduce him, one by one, to the others. Unless you decide to hold a meeting.”

  Garrett frowns in thought. “Let me think about it some more. Are you meeting Joss tonight?”

  “As soon as I get back.”

  “Find out if she can get more specifics from Meg.”

  “Will do.”

  Just then I hear my phone ring from the other room. It distracts only me. The Guardians – and Garrett – are deep in conversation. I don’t want to interrupt them again by moving, so I ignore it, praying that whoever is trying to get ahold of me leaves a message.

  “I could take him to meet Joss with me now,” I hear Thomas suggest.

  Garrett appears to consider it. “I’m due a visit as well, from Jack.”

  “Does it matter who I meet first?” James asks.

  My phone rings again, and I silently curse it. James looks at me and nods over his shoulder. “Maybe you should get that?”

  I give the group an apologetic smile and dart around them as I head out of the room. I grab my phone off the bed and see that Shel is calling. I sit down and answer her in order to avoid any further interruptions.

  “Hello?”

  “Oh! I’m so glad you answered!” Shel’s voice wavers.

  Her panicked tone sends my already heightened nerves into overdrive. “What’s wrong? What is it?”

  “It’s Matt,” her voice breaks.

  Matt? My pulse starts to accelerate. Has something happened to him? “Is he all right?”

  “Yes,” she says through tears. “It’s…we had a fight.”

  Relief floods my body. I want to say “Is that all?” but I catch myself. I think this may be their first fight ever. “Aw, Shel. What about?”

  “Dane.” She spits his name out like it’s poison.

  Dane? My expression twists. “Why were you fighting about him?”

  “Because he knew, Emma! Matt knew he was engaged!”

  A sick feeling starts to curl around my stomach.

  Shel sniffs. “Dane called Matt and accused him of telling you. When did you find out?”

  “Yesterday,” I say quietly.

  “I overheard Matt arguing on the phone and demanded to know what was going on. He told me and then we got into it about you. How could he do that to you Emma? How could he keep this huge secret? You’re our best friend!”

  I’m at a loss for words. Why would Matt keep this from me? He knew Dane and I were getting close. I hear Shel sniff again, and I’m reminded of how upset she is. “I’m sorry that you guys fought because of me.”

  “It’s not your fault! It’s theirs!”

  I hear what I think is a car horn in the background. “Where are you?”

  “Driving. I’m on my way to you.”

  “You are?”

  “Yes. I stormed out. Is that okay? I don’t want to go home; Matt will look for me there. I don’t want to talk to him right now.”

  I know the feeling. “Of course you can come here. How far away are you?”

  “About an hour.”

  “Okay. Hang up and get here safe.”

  “’Kay. See you in a little bit.”

  I end the call and stare at my phone. Matt knew about Dane all along? Feelings of betrayal start to swirl in my chest. Thanks for the heads up, jackass.

  “What’s going on?” James appears in my doorway, startling me.

  “Shel’s on her way. She got into a fight with Matt.” I neglect to tell him about Matt’s secrecy. I don’t need another person for him to be mad at.

  “Oh good,” James says absentmindedly, glancing back into the living room.

  I frown at him. “It’s good they got in a fight?”

  “What?” He focuses back on me. “Oh, no. It’s good that Shel is coming here. Thomas is going to take me to meet Joss.”

  “Now?”

  “Yes.” He steps forward and plants a kiss on my forehead. When he leans back, he looks at me intently. There’s an excitement in his eyes that I haven’t seen in a very long time. “You heard what I heard right?”

  I nod.

  “Do you know what this could mean?” he whispers enthusiastically.

  I can’t help but smile at his boyish grin. “The thought did cross my mind.”

  He leans forward again and catches my mouth with his, kissing me hard. When we stop, I tease him. “I thought we weren’t supposed to do that?”

  He responds by kissing me again.

  “You’re going to get caught,” I reprimand him.

  Someone clears his throat behind us. “He is caught.”

  James turns around and I jump off the bed. Thomas is standing in the doorway. The way he looks at us makes me blush.

  “You’re still her Guardian, you know,” he chastises James. He tries to maintain his stern expression, but his eyes crinkle as he breaks into a smile. “No wonder Garrett asked me to keep an eye on you.”

  James laughs nervously. “Can you blame me?”

  Thomas shakes his head. “Not in the least. Come on. We have to go.”

  James turns to me. “I’ll see you soon. Stay out of trouble.”

  “Me? Get into trouble? Never.” I smile.

  “I don’t know.” James tilts his head, doubtful. “Shel is on her way.”

  It’s so nice to see James happy for once. “Don’t worry. I’ll be on my best behavior. Scout’s honor.” I hold up my hand.

  He smiles and leans in to kiss me
again.

  “Ahem,” Thomas subtly clears his throat from the doorway.

  James stops. He reaches out, takes my hand, and squeezes it, smiling at me. I mouth “I love you.” He winks at me and then drops my hand.

  “Ready?” Thomas asks.

  “Ready,” James confirms and takes a step back.

  “It was nice to meet you Emma,” Thomas says to me.

  “You too. Come by any time.”

  The two of them fade from my vision, James a little more slowly than Thomas, and I’m left with LB to wait for Shel. She’s been napping on my bed this whole time. It’s funny how a place that was so full moments ago can now feel so empty. That is, assuming Garrett has gone. I walk out into the living room, and it is indeed empty. He must have left while I was on the phone.

  My stomach growls, and I realize I haven’t had any dinner. I check the clock and it’s almost eight. Shel should be here around nine. I head to the kitchen to make myself something to eat. This is going to be a long night.

  Chapter 9

  When I greet Shel at the door, the evidence of her emotional state is worse than I imagined. I thought the drive would have calmed her some, but her eyes are rimmed in red, her mascara has run down her cheeks, and her nose looks raw from wiping.

  “Hey,” she says quietly and takes a deep breath.

  I instantly open my arms to her and she steps into them for a hug. “This sucks,” she says against my shoulder.

  “Yeah.” It’s all I can think to say.

  We make our way to my apartment, and LB greets us at the door. “She’s getting so big,” Shel says as she crouches down to pet her. “What are you feeding her? Super food?”

  “Nah, just the regular stuff. Maybe I give her too many treats? She’s spoiled.”

  “As she should be,” Shel says and shrugs out of her jacket. “All us women deserve to be spoiled.” She stands and lays the jacket over the back of the couch, setting her purse on the floor. “Is this the…?”

  “Birthday present?” I finish for her, making a face. “Yes.”

  She runs her hand across the leather and looks impressed. “It’s nice.” She glances at the television. “I thought…”

  I roll my eyes and sit down. “After I found out about Dane’s…um…situation, I didn’t want his gifts anymore. I gave the TV to my neighbor.”