by Sara Mack
Chapter 10
By early evening, I’m sitting cross-legged on my bed, finishing an assignment for Communications in Business. On the floor, LB plays with the discarded edges of my notebook paper as I brainstorm ways to differentiate between the advantages and disadvantages of non-verbal communication. It’s not a riveting topic.
This afternoon, Matt and Shel left on better terms. Shel was still a little salty, but I’m not sure if her mood was an act or not. She may still be doing that whole “Matt needs to be trained” thing. Matt repeatedly apologized over breakfast, after we decided to go out to eat instead of consuming the leftovers of our junk food picnic. There was a lot of eye rolling on Shel’s part, especially when Matt refused to elaborate on his statement regarding Dane’s possible wedding. He said it wasn’t his place to discuss Dane’s business and that it would be best if I called Dane to let him explain what’s going on. I know what he’s doing; he’s trying to bait me into speaking to him again. Well, I’m not going to fall for it. I have too many conflicting feelings when it comes to Dane; now is as good a time as any to cut off any and all contact. I’ll stay off that emotional rollercoaster, thank you very much.
Suddenly, I hear this horrid gurgling noise coming from beside my bed. I throw myself over to the edge to witness LB throwing up on the floor.
“LB!” I exclaim with worry as I sit there, stunned. She finishes retching, backs up a few steps, and starts to clean herself as if nothing happened. I bend over the bed further to examine her vomit pile and it appears she decided to eat the paper remnants instead of just play with them.
“Really?” I scold her, annoyed.
She stops washing to look at me innocently.
“I thought you were sick,” I grumble as I slide off the bed to find something to clean up the mess. I return with a damp dish rag and some paper towel from the kitchen and set to taking care of the grossness. LB apologetically rubs against me.
“No more paper for you,” I tell her and pick up the last bits from the floor, the ones she didn’t eat. “Let’s stick to pet store toys from here on out.”
After I discard everything, I decide to turn on some music while I finish my homework. I plug my phone into the dock in my room and shuffle my way through my favorite playlist. I select Maroon 5’s “Payphone” and hum along, attempting to complete my dull assignment.
Halfway through the song I hear laughter. Female laughter. I pause to listen, but don’t hear it again. I shake it off and continue writing; it was probably in the song and I never noticed it before. A minute later, I hear it again. What the heck? I lean over and turn down the music, listening for the mysterious laughter sound. I wonder if Samantha and Todd are being overly loud upstairs.
Movement in my peripheral vision catches my attention, and I turn to see James taking form on the opposite side of the room. I start to get up off the bed to greet him, but then stop as I realize he is with other people. People I’ve never met before.
“Hi,” he smiles broadly and walks around my bed to be closer to me. His guests follow. “I wanted to introduce you to some friends.”
I rearrange my face to offer a smile at the two women James has brought with him. One woman is petite, with straight, shoulder-length, fiery red hair, and a dash of freckles. Her eyes are an odd shade of brown, almost caramel, and she wears a soft yellow peasant blouse and embroidered bell-bottom jeans. She can’t be much older than sixteen. The other woman is tall, almost as tall as James’ 5’11 inch frame, with striking blue eyes that remind me of the Mediterranean. Her dark brown hair falls in shiny waves to her lower back, and she wears a cream colored sundress that falls just above the knee, the style showing off her toned arms and legs. The color complements her sun-kissed skin tone, and I notice she’s wearing cowboy boots as well.
“This is Jenna,” James nods to his left indicating the red-haired girl. “And this is Meg,” he nods and smiles to the woman standing at his right.
Jenna twists her fingers together nervously as Meg confidently steps forward and extends her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she says with a slight southern twang.
I tentatively take her hand to shake it, standing as I do. She feels just as cold as James, but the consistency of her hand somehow feels more solid. “It’s nice to meet you too,” I say quietly, somewhat stunned that I am meeting yet another Guardian. Meg releases my hand and steps back, flipping her long hair over one shoulder and revealing a perfect white smile. Geez, could she get any prettier? I suddenly feel self-conscious in my sweatpants and old Muse t-shirt.
Meg glances at Jenna and nods toward me. “Um, hi,” the girl says shyly.
I give her a genuine smile, hoping to make her feel more comfortable.
“These two were on their way to check in with Garrett,” James says. “I was headed to see you, so we came together.”
“Oh,” I say, for a lack of anything better.
“He was pretty anxious to get here,” Meg says with a laugh. “We won’t keep you.” She steps around James and nudges Jenna’s arm. She looks back to flash us another amazing smile. “See y’all.”
I say “okay” lamely, and James gives them a small wave as they turn together and walk through my bedroom wall. I’m sure I look dumbfounded. When I feel his cool arms wrap around my waist, I snap to attention.
“What is it?” James asks.
“I’m never going to get used to that.”
He leans in to me. “Walking through walls is no big deal.”
“Not that,” I say and then correct myself. “Well, yes that, but what I meant was other people appearing in my personal space.” I give him a stern look. “If you’re going to bring company by could you at least warn me? I look like crap.”
He grins. “You never look like crap.”
I look down at my comfy ensemble and then back at him. “All of you look really nice,” I say, pouting. “Meg is gorgeous and Jenna is super cute. Thomas is all business-like. What happens when you die? Does everyone get some sort of after-life makeover?”
James laughs. “We’re stuck with what we’re buried in, Em. Of course we’d have on nice clothes.”
I give James a once-over, raising my eyebrows. “Your mother allowed you to be buried in a polo and jeans?” I have a hard time believing this. His mother is so….uppity.
“Actually,” he smiles, “she wanted me in a suit. My dad wanted me in my hockey jersey. They compromised and went with what you see here.”
I gape at him. I knew he checked in with his parents from time to time, but I didn’t know it had started so soon after the accident. His casket was closed; I never saw…I swallow. I despise thinking of that day. The day of my meltdown, the day it hit me that James was gone forever.
“Hey,” he says softly, concerned.
Our bond must give away my emotions, so I shake them away. I step back and tip my head, assessing his outfit in further detail. “Well, I’m glad your mother didn’t get her way,” I say appreciation. “You’ve never been a suit kind of guy. Besides, all those layers would have covered up this.” I reach out with one hand and touch his chest, running my fingers over his much more prominent pectorals. “Have you been working out?” I ask, engrossed.
He inhales sharply. “No.”
My eyes follow my fingertips as I trail them slowly down his side. “Then what’s going on?”
“It’s a side effect.”
My fingers travel across his now defined abdominal muscles and up the opposite side of his body. “Of what?”
“My strength as a Guardian.”
My hand lands back where it started and I meet his blue eyes. “How strong will you get?”
His hands land on my hips and he pulls me to him. “Apparently not strong enough.”
His mouth meets mine and moves against me insistently, frigidly. I expect him to stop abruptly, like the last time we kissed this way, but he doesn’t. I can’t stop my pulse from racing. He puts pressure on my hips and turns me, pressing me back. My
leg hits the bed, and I tense up so I won’t fall. He feels my reaction and moves his hands to my waist to steady me, his mouth disappearing from mine. It reappears beneath my ear and leisurely travels down my throat while his hands slide from my waist around to my backside. All of my nerves jump to attention.
“I thought you said this wasn’t a good idea,” I breathe.
“It’s not,” he says against my neck.
He leans into me and pushes me back, forcing me to reach out and brace myself against the bed. I try to do this gracefully, but I end up falling right on top of my textbook and notes. The binding of the book slams against my back. “Ow!”
James releases me suddenly. “What happened?”
I roll onto my front. “I landed on my book.” I start to laugh, then whine, “That hurt.” Only I would do something this idiotic.
“Where’d you land on it?” he asks.
I reach around and point to the middle of my back. “Right there, on my spine.”
He lifts my shirt and reaches beneath it, pressing his cool hand against my skin. “Right here?”
“Yes.” I swallow. “What are you doing?”
“No need for an ice pack with me around.” I can hear the smile in his voice.
I try to look over my shoulder, eyebrows raised. “Are you sure that’s your only motive?”
He laughs and then sighs. “I miss you.”
“I’m right here.”
“No. I mean I miss you,” he says, emphasizing his utterance of miss, so I pick up on his innuendo.
I move through his hand and roll over on to my back, propping myself on my elbows. I look at him quizzically.
He gives me half a smile. “Do you have a question?”
I sit up. “You’re getting stronger.”
He nods.
“You feel different than you did before, and Meg’s hand felt even more solid than yours.” I tip my head. “What else is changing? How far could you have taken this?” I gesture between us.
James gives me a resigned sigh. “Unfortunately, not far enough.” He gathers my books from the bed, sets them on the floor, and sits down beside me. “You know we can’t…I can’t…”
“You’ve said that before.” I twist my body and lean over to kiss his cheek. “So why are you acting like this?”
“Old habits die hard, I guess.” He gives me a guilty smile.
I rub my hand reassuringly against his back. “You’re going to get into trouble,” I remind him and then move to the head of my bed, so we can lie down together. I curl myself into him and change the subject. “Will you feel more solid eventually, like Meg?”
“The way Meg feels is the most ‘solid’ I’ll get,” James says. “We reach our full form in about six months, but Meg’s been a Guardian for nearly forty years.”
I look at him, impressed. “She ages well,” I joke. “Is there a beach in the Intermediate?”
His brow furrows. “What do you mean?”
“Meg has a nice tan. She must lay out.”
James stifles a laugh. “No, there’s no sunbathing in the Intermediate. There are beaches, though, when The Allegiant feel like recreating them.”
“Huh?” I ask, perplexed.
“The Allegiant decide what each day will look like,” James explains. “Yesterday, the landscape was Paris at night, complete with a faux Eiffel Tower, bistro chairs, and gas street lamps. The day before that was a random spring meadow, dotted with lilacs and tulips. I sat beneath a weeping willow tree.”
“Really?”
He nods. “I’ve walked along the edge of a recreated Grand Canyon and wandered through mossy forests. Why? What did you think it looked like?”
I shrug. “Bright, with fluffy white clouds.”
He smiles. “No; there’s no fluffy white clouds.”
LB decides to join us, jumping up on to the bed at our feet. We watch her as she lazily makes her way between us. She finds a comfortable spot and curls against my belly. James scratches behind her ears and she purrs loudly.
“So, how’s Shel?” he asks, moving his hand to scratch under her chin.
“Better,” I say. “Matt showed up and they talked. She still seemed a bit testy when they left, but knowing Shel she’ll get over it soon enough.”
“What were they fighting about?”
I groan. “Dane.”
James stops petting LB. “Huh?”
I figure it’s okay to tell James about Matt’s secrecy since it doesn’t upset me that much anymore. “Matt knew Dane was engaged and he didn’t bother to share the information. Shel was upset because she thought he should have told me.”
James’ face twists. “Yeah. I agree.”
“He was under the impression that Dane was breaking it off.”
“Did he break it off?”
“Who knows?” I say and shift my weight. “It doesn’t matter.”
James gives me a knowing look, and I decide not to talk about Dane anymore. “Tell me what happened last night,” I ask. “Did you meet that Joss person?”
He nods. “I think you would like her. She’s older, like Thomas. Her real name is Joslyn, but everyone calls her Joss.”
“And?” I press.
“Thomas asked what she heard from Meg, but then took the opportunity to introduce me to her as well and get the information from the source.”
“Wait.” I’m confused. “How is it that you don’t already know these people?”
James smiles. “Everyone has a Guardian remember? The Intermediate has just as many Guardians as there are people on the planet.”
“Sounds crowded.”
“Not any more so than here.” He moves to prop himself on his elbow and his eyes light up. “This group of us, we have to stay scattered. Talk discreetly and meet in different locations. A large group continually disappearing together would be noticed.”
“And that would be bad, right?”
James gets more animated as he speaks. “If The Allegiant find out what Garrett’s done and discover who’s protecting him, they have ways of making us talk. They will want to know where he is and will try to stop him before he’s completely Reborn. We’ll all be punished.”
I prop myself up to meet his eyes. “So what do you have to do?”
“Keep Garrett hidden. Quell any rumors and keep him updated, in case he needs to relocate. The more time goes on, the more it will be noticed that Garrett is missing. Guardians just don’t up and disappear forever.”
“Keep him hidden for how long?” I ask.
“About six months.”
“Huh,” I say, as my mind turns over what he has shared. “Six months to become a full Guardian and six months to undo it.” I meet his eyes and whisper, “Do you know how it’s done?”
James frowns and shakes his head. “Garrett won’t share the method. No one knows except him and his brother. He doesn’t want us revealing anything in case we’re questioned.”
“Garrett has a brother?” I ask, surprised.
James nods. “I haven’t met him yet, but I will soon.”
“Wow.” I lie back down. “This is just…it’s just crazy.”
James leans over me and he regards me with a smirk.
“What?” I ask. “You’re really enjoying this covert operation, aren’t you?”
“Damn right.” He breaks into a grin.
“Of course you are,” I grimace. “Don’t get caught. It worries me.”
He moves closer. “I wouldn’t think of it,” he says and kisses my forehead. When he leans back he’s smiling like a little kid who just got away with stealing a cookie before dinner.
“Why are you so happy? You haven’t been this relaxed since you came back.”
“Because,” he leans in to me again, “if Garrett succeeds, I plan on being human again, too.”
When Garrett didn’t show up for Ethics on either Tuesday or Thursday, I was concerned. When he didn’t show up for our tutoring session on Friday, I was annoyed. Just because I kn
ow what’s going on doesn’t mean I still don’t need help with my Stats homework. It would have been comforting to see him in our regular setting. I haven’t had a chance to speak with him one on one since last week and, for some reason, it bothers me. Maybe I’m just worried that if I don’t see him something terrible has happened; James can only check in with me so often. I do want Garrett to succeed and for purely selfish reasons. There is a way for James to come back to me – really come back to me. We need this to work for us.
It’s Saturday afternoon and the fall weather has officially arrived. I know I have a soft, comfy cardigan somewhere and, as I rifle through my closet, I come across the household items I purchased for Garrett. I’d forgotten about the bags because I moved them out of the way when Shel was here, to make room for our campsite picnic. I smile to myself. I just found an excuse to stop by my neighbor’s apartment, to make sure everything is okay, without appearing nosy.
After finding my sweater, I knock on Garrett’s door with the bags in my hands. I hope he’s home. I haven’t seen James in a couple of days and knowing everything is moving along as planned would be a comfort right now.
The door cracks open and turquoise eyes appear. “Yes?” Garrett realizes it’s me and opens the door wider. “Oh, hi Emma.”
I raise my eyebrows. “You forgot our tutoring session yesterday.”
He presses the palm of his hand against his forehead. “I completely forgot. I’m so sorry.” He steps back and fully opens the door. I walk inside, and he shuts the door behind me. “Did you bring your book? I have time to go over some things now if you want.”
“No.” I hold up the bags. “I just came by to give you this.” And make sure you’re still around, I think.
“What is it?”
I set the bags down by my feet. “The things I bought for you before the bar incident.”
Garrett smiles. “I remember. The stuff that made you sing.”
My face flushes in embarrassment. “Right. Remind me never again to drink anything with tequila in it.” I open the first bag. “Okay. So I got you a comforter for your bed, a shower curtain, and some hangers.” I open the second bag. “And some dishes, some bathroom towels, and this.” I pull out the oven mitt and laugh. “You’ll need this eventually. You can’t grab hot pans with your bare hands forever.”