by Sara Mack
After I use all of the hot water, I get out and dry off with what has to be the softest towel on the planet. What is this made out of? Kittens? I get dressed, pulling Dane’s shirt over my head, and turning around to check my reflection in the mirror to make sure it’s long enough. It hangs shapelessly off my body and, thankfully, falls to the middle of my thigh. I cannot believe I forgot to pack pajamas. I brush my teeth, comb through my wet hair, gather my clothes, and take a deep breath. I’m sure Dane has found more things to ridicule me about, especially since I left my stuff lying all over the place.
To my surprise, I open the door to a darkened room. Once my eyes focus, I can see that our clothes and suitcases have disappeared and Dane has crawled beneath the covers to sleep on the side nearest the bathroom. I tiptoe around the foot of the bed, dropping my dirty clothes on the floor. I carefully pull back the blankets, so as not to wake him, and my body tenses as I slowly lower myself to the mattress.
“It’s not made of glass you know.”
“AHH!” I jump and pull my knees to my chest. “You scared me!”
He laughs.
“I thought you were asleep!” I hiss and scoot down, being sure to jostle the bed as much as possible to get comfortable.
“I should be. How long were you in there? An hour?”
“At least,” I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “What? Is there a time limit?”
“No.” I can feel him roll over. “I thought you had drowned.”
“In the shower?”
“Given what’s happened today, anything’s possible.”
I can’t help but smile. “Well, just for the record, I take really long showers.”
“Noted,” he says and adjusts his weight again.
We fall silent, and I close my eyes. I stare into the blackness behind my lids and work on relaxing my body, trying to erase all thought from my mind. It’s not easy. Just as I find that precious precipice of sleep, Dane’s voice pulls me back.
“Seriously?”
I groan. “Whaaat?”
“You’re balancing yourself on the edge of the bed like I have the plague. This thing is big enough to hold twenty people; move over for Christ sake! You’re making me nervous.”
It didn’t register until now, but I am teetering precariously near the edge. A subconscious move, I’m sure. “Its fine,” I huff and plump my pillow. “I’m perfectly comfortable.”
“And when you fall asleep and roll off the side?”
“I’ll wake up and you’ll laugh,” I say, closing my eyes again.
He lets out an exasperated sigh and moves; I’m sure turning away from me. I decide that my location is kind of silly and slide back, conceding an inch or two. At least I’m able to pull my knee up to the side now.
“That’s so much better,” he grumbles.
I decide to ignore him and pretend he doesn’t exist. There’s no other way I’ll get to sleep if I don’t. It takes longer than necessary, but eventually I drift off, welcoming sleep’s mindless embrace.
Sunlight blasts my face, making me squint, even though my eyes are still closed. I move and stretch, reaching my arms above my head and pushing my legs in the opposite direction. When I peel my eyelids open, I find that I’m alone in the middle of the bed with a pillow under my head and one at each side. Yikes. Did I take over the place during the night?
I sit up and blink at the sunlight streaming in through the glass doors. I glance at the bedside table and see that it’s nearly noon. Noon! Throwing the blankets aside, I push myself off the bed and pull my “pajamas” down to cover my behind. I walk to the bathroom and quickly brush my teeth and hair, then head out of the room in search of Dane.
I find him outside by the pool, lying in a lounge chair, and eating an apple. He looks at me over his sunglasses. “Ah. She lives.”
I take a seat by his feet at the end of the chaise. “It’s late. Why didn’t you wake me?”
“Tried,” he smirks. “You were snoring.”
My mouth falls open. “I don’t snore!”
He takes a bite of his apple and grins. “You so snore.”
I cross my arms and defend myself. “I haven’t gotten much sleep over the last few days.”
He tilts his head. “Why is that?”
I relax my arms and my shoulders sag. “How much did James tell you?”
He pretends to think about it. “You mean after he appeared and scared the hell out of me or during our car trip across the state?”
I give him a sympathetic look. I fainted the first time I saw James as a Guardian, by all accounts he’s handling this really well.
Dane sets his elbow on the armrest and pushes himself higher on the lounge. “He introduced himself and said a few choice words to make me believe him. Then he said that you needed me.”
I feel my forehead pinch. “Didn’t you ask any questions?”
“He said there was trouble; that you had to disappear and he could no longer be near you. He didn’t want you to be alone and thought I might be up for the job.” He raises an eyebrow. “Care to enlighten me as to how he got that impression?” He takes another bite.
I give him a dry look as he chews. “You already know.”
He pauses and regards me for a moment. “Do I?”
I sigh. “We fight about you a lot.”
He looks impressed. “Really?”
“All the time.”
“Huh,” he says and looks toward the pool. He smiles, clearly enjoying this, and turns back to me. “What do you fight about exactly?”
I shoot him an exasperated look and he shrugs.
I know what he’s trying to do; he’s trying to get me to admit that I have feelings for him. It’s the same discussion we have every time we’re alone together. How did we go from my lack of sleep to this? “He’s around a lot, okay? He’s seen just about everything between us.”
“He said he was there the night you were attacked.”
I nod.
“Did he see our last talk? After the dinner?”
“He was there.”
“Did he see our first kiss?”
“Yes.”
“Did he see our last kiss?”
I roll my eyes. “He was in your backseat.”
Pausing to think, he sets the apple core on the ground and moves forward on the chair, turning his body, so he’s sitting next to me. “So, let me get this straight. Because of this trouble, he can’t watch you or visit you or anything?”
I wrap my arms around myself and look away from him, out toward the pavilion that should have been my room. “Yeah.”
I can feel his stare before I feel his touch. He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, and I turn to face him, noticing he’s taken off his sunglasses. “Sorry. My hair is crazy.” I automatically reach back and smooth it, pulling it over my shoulder.
His hazel eyes lock on mine and I freeze, knowing what’s going to happen next. If I’m at all honest with myself, I should have seen this coming. It was only a matter of time.
He leans forward and places a gentle kiss on my lips. When I allow this to happen, he sets his hand against the side of my neck and kisses me harder. Warmth travels from head to my toes as I wrap my hand around his wrist and kiss him back. His voice replays in my mind – “He can’t watch you or visit you or anything?” – and my eyes fly open. I feel bad about taking advantage of the situation and pull away from him, meeting his questioning expression with a defeated one of my own. “James is my Guardian,” I say quietly.
“So?”
He has no idea the depth of the situation. “Do you even know what a Guardian is?”
He leans forward and looks directly into my eyes. “Emma, I’ve known about Guardians since I was fourteen years old.”
Chapter 24
I’m dumbfounded. “Say again?”
“I’ve known about Guardians since I was fourteen,” he repeats himself. “Since my mom died.”
I stare into his eyes as my heart pounds. “S
he’s a Guardian?”
“Not anymore. She was released this summer.”
I look down as I try to collect my thoughts. To think that I’ve been craving to speak with someone about James and that someone turns out to be Dane? For so long I’ve wanted to be able to talk about what’s going on and how to cope with it. My eyes flash back to him. “I wish I had known this sooner.”
He gives me an empathetic smile.
“No wonder you didn’t have a problem believing James.”
“He knew I wouldn’t,” he says and sets his elbows on his knees. “He knew my mother. Using her name was all it took to convince me that I wasn’t going crazy.”
The knowledge that he has been in my shoes peaks my curiosity. “What was her name?”
“Evelyn,” he smiles.
“When did she start visiting you?”
“About a year after she died. At first I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. I was just a kid, after all. I tried to talk to my dad about it, but…” his voice fades and his jaw tenses.
“It didn’t go well?”
He scoffs. “That’s an understatement. He put me directly into therapy and let them dope me up on some stupid medication.” He grimaces. “I learned pretty quickly to shut up about things.”
My face twists. “That’s awful.”
“Yeah, well, let’s just say our relationship went downhill from there.”
I feel terrible for him. He was so young; I can’t imagine how hard that must have been to deal with.
Dane notices my concern. “Hey,” he gives me a small smile, “it’s all good. My mom helped me work through things and to understand. She didn’t want to be away from her only child, so she chose to be a Guardian. She fulfilled her duties and checked on me from time to time. I still had her in my life. I wouldn’t change that for anything.”
“I wish I could have met her. Were you sad when she was released?”
He shakes his head and smiles. “A little, but she had to go sometime. She was released by her true love. What could be better than that?”
My smile fades into confusion. “Wait. How was she released if your dad is still alive?”
“John let her go,” he says. “He passed away this August. He and my mom were having an affair before she died.”
My mouth falls open. “How did you know?”
“We found out shortly before she was diagnosed. She was going to leave my father. Then, the cancer hit, and everything happened pretty fast. That’s a big part of why she stayed,” he says. “She felt bad about how things were left between us.”
I give him a sympathetic look, then rest my head on his shoulder. “That’s why James stayed, too. The night he died, we fought. He didn’t want to leave things that way. He didn’t want to leave me.”
Dane reaches for my hand and weaves his fingers through mine.
“I wish our story could have a happy ending like yours and your mom’s.”
“Why can’t it?” he asks softly. “If you two can’t be together, at least he’s still in your life, right?”
I raise my head. “You sound like Garrett. It’s not that simple.”
He gives me a wary look. “Garrett? The guy at the airport?”
I nod.
“The guy who is almost human? The one you said wasn’t hot?”
I smile as I remember my mistaken text messages. “That’s the one.”
He gives me an irritated look. “You lied.”
“About what?”
“His looks.”
I roll my eyes. “Please. Garrett is not hot.”
“Says who?”
“Says me!”
He frowns. “I didn’t like finding you curled up against him on that bench. First James shows up and then this Garrett guy is all over you –”
“Whoa.” I pull my hand from his and sit back. “He wasn’t all over me! I was tired and he offered a shoulder, that’s all. Besides, we’re barely speaking after what he did.”
“You mean the whole assigning you to James to become human thing?”
I look at Dane, impressed. “James told you a lot.”
He smirks. “It was a long drive.”
“Then you know,” I say, exasperated. “Things between James and I aren’t simple! Every time we see each other we’re reminded of what we can’t have. Not just in this life, but in the next. I’m his Ward; I can’t release him. He’s stuck in the Intermediate until I die, and then…” I hesitate. “And then maybe he’ll have a chance at being human again. Without me.”
Dane searches my face, thinking about what I’ve said and how to respond. He can’t dispute the truth. My heart is broken; there’s no quick fix.
“Listen,” he finally says, his eyes locking on mine. “I know what you and James had was real. Part of your heart will always belong to him. But, I’m a firm believer in fate. What happened was meant to happen. You have to believe that, for whatever reason, it was meant to be. You can’t change it, but you can learn to live with it. Trust me, over time, things will get easier.”
I look down as he reaches over and winds his hand around mine again. All I want to do is feel like myself, like I did before James had his accident and everything went to hell. “I just want to feel better,” I say as I fixate on our locked fingers. “Is that really too much to ask for?”
He runs his thumb across the back of my hand. “Not at all. I’ve had eleven years to wrap my mind around the Intermediate, and I still don’t get it. You’ve had what? Six months?”
I look up and give him a tiny smile. “Seven.”
“Oh, well then, that makes a difference.” He smiles back.
We sit in silence for a few moments. I look around the patio, taking in the stonework, the palm trees, and the potted hibiscus. How is it that I ended up in paradise under these circumstances? Life sure is a funny thing, and I don’t mean funny ha-ha.
“Here’s what I propose,” Dane says, pulling my attention back to him. “Let’s make a pact to live the most normal lives anyone has ever lived.”
“How?”
“By keeping each other focused on the future and not the past. You need to finish your classes, and I need to find a new job.”
“I still can’t believe you quit!” I admonish him. “What were you thinking?”
“I had to cut all ties,” he says. “Teagan should get the hint now that I’ve voluntarily resigned. She has nothing left to hold over me.”
I tilt my head. “She still won’t let you go?”
He grins. “Can you blame her?”
I roll my eyes and pull my hand away from his. “So, where do you think I should start? I have to lie to my instructors, lie to my parents. I should probably throw a couple of lies to Shel and Matt…”
“I say we start with getting you dressed,” he says. “We can begin our normal lives with a normal trip to the grocery store. I’m starving.”
I nod and stand. “About that, I’m going to need to stop somewhere and get some clothes. Everything I brought is way too warm.” I eye his khaki cargo shorts and shoot him an annoyed look. “You, on the other hand, are completely prepared.”
“Hey, I can’t help it I saved the day with a prepaid vacation,” he says and swings his feet back up to lounge on the chair. “But I agree. You do need some different clothes and pajamas.”
“What?” I look over my makeshift pj’s. “You don’t like me wearing your shirt?”
“Just the opposite,” he says and slides his sunglasses on. “I like it too much.”
In the bathroom, I stare at myself as I try to contain my unruly hair. The humidity is making it curl, which is unusual for me; I’ve never been in such a warm climate before to know it would do this. I mean, occasionally I’d get a curl here or there in the summer at home, but this is full on waves. I sigh as I pull it back into a ponytail for the third time, trying to convince myself that no one cares how I look but me.
When I leave the bedroom, I find Dane leaning impatiently against t
he couch with his arms crossed. He gives me a once over. “Where’d you get the shorts?”
I hold up my hand to reveal the scissors I found in the kitchen. “Old pair of jeans,” I explain and walk around the breakfast bar to put the scissors back. “I thought you were relaxing outside.”
“I was until I realized you were taking forever and my stomach started to eat itself. Are you ready?”
“Yeah.” I pick my purse up off the counter and grab a pear out of the Congratulations! fruit basket. “Let’s go.”
Dane tells me he’s taking us to Charlotte Amalie, where there are plenty of places to shop. I roll the window down and nibble on my pear as he drives. The fruit is kind of mushy and unappetizing, making me want something more substantial. “Can we stop for lunch?” I ask.
“That will be the first thing we do,” he says and pats his stomach.
The farther we drive, I realize that he knows exactly where he’s going without any help. “When were you here last?”
“About three years ago.”
“On vacation?”
He nods. “We took a cruise from Miami and docked here for two days. We were supposed to see the whole Caribbean, but we liked St. Thomas so much we ended up staying,” he says. “We caught the next ship that came into port a week later.”
“We?” I raise my eyebrows.
He glances at me out of the corner of his eye. “Teagan and me.”
Of course he would be vacationing with his ex-fiancée. My face automatically wants to express how I feel about her, but I manage to remain impassive. “Sounds like you had a good time.” I take another bite of my mushy pear.
He ignores me and concentrates on the road.
When we pull into the city it’s busy with tourists, but Dane has no problem finding a parking spot for the roller skate. As we walk along the street, I can see that the town backs up to the coast, where sailboats dot the water and two large cruise ships sit in port. We pass several small shops and boutiques housed in historic looking buildings until Dane turns down an alleyway. I follow him until we end up at a restaurant called Gladys’ Café, where he holds the door for me. Inside, I find a cozy place with a mahogany bar and native stone walls. Appetizing smells waft through the room, and Sinatra plays in the background.