by Shyla Colt
In her late forties, the women with kind brown eyes, laugh lines, and a heart shaped face waves. “Hey, Skull long time no see.”
“Yeah, I’ve been out of town for work recently, Ms. Bev. How are you doing?”
“I’m fine, thank you.”
“Is Ray up and about?”
“Yeah, he’s out in the garden. He actually has visitors.”
“Oh?” I ask instantly on alert. I keep him separate from my life, because he’d make an easy target.
“Grandkids in from Chicago.”
The tension bleeds from my body. “I bet he’s loving that.”
“I think so. They’ve been here since breakfast.”
“I’ll find them,” I say waving her to stay seated. I know how busy this place can be. She doesn’t need to expend extra energy on me when I know the drill. I lean down and sign my name in the visitor’s log.
I take the familiar route to the gardens scanning for the shock of salt and pepper hair that contrasts with Ray’s brown skin. I find him seated beneath a tree with a curvy woman with straight black hair and a man built like a linebacker. I can see the resemblance around their eyes and nose. I know Ray and his wife Agnes had one son, but he’d gotten heavy in to drugs and broke their hearts a million times over.
I always thought Ray moved away after Agnes passed of an aneurism to escape the toxic loop his son, Brian had placed him in.
“There’s my boy,” Ray says waving to me as he spots me.
“Hey Ray. I see you have some visitors today.”
“These are my grandkids here on vacation. This is Tinley and her older brother, Tyson. This here is my grandson from another family, Skull.”
The two exchange a look.
I smile. “Yep, Ray took me under his wing after my Grandfather passed some years ago. He helps me keep this hard head of mine on straight.”
Tyson stands and offers his hand. “It’s good to meet you. We appreciate you taking care of him. We’ve been looking at relocating soon.”
“I know he’ll be glad for the company,” I reply taking in the man’s firm grip and steady gaze. I’d be having him looked into as soon as I got back to the club. I owe Ray that much. I turn to the woman.
She seems almost skittish as she shifts from side to side on her coltish legs bared in her short black shorts.
Then again, I make most people nervous. I hold my hand out and take her hand. “Nice to meet you, Tinley.”
“You too,” she whispers softly.
“We’ve taken up enough of your time, Grandpa,” Tyson says. “I promised Tin I’d take her to a beach and Disneyland while we’re here. We’ll be back tomorrow.”
“Good, if you come at lunch you’ll be in time for Bingo,” Ray says.
“Then, lunch it’ll be,” Tinley says offering up a sweet smile.
I watch them as they slip away. “That’s a new development.”
“Recent. They started writing me this year, looking for a connection with someone not drug addled. They mentioned coming here to see me, but I never figured they’d really do it. I thought it was one of those things you say to someone old and past their prime.”
“Do they have the same last name as you?” I ask.
“You planning on looking into them, son?”
“Damn straight.”
He shakes his head. “Yes, they’re Hawkins.”
I nod and sit down next to him.
“How’ve you been?” he asks.
“Busy. Sorry I haven’t been by recently. We had a lock down situation.”
“I figured as much. You’re like clockwork with your visits.”
“I need your advice, Ray. I fucked up.”
“With Ruthie?”
“Yeah, she caught me fooling around with someone. Not live, but a picture.”
Ray sighs. “Why? Didn’t she give you everything she wanted?”
“Yeah. Thing is…she’s pregnant.”
“Boy, when you fuck up, you do it royally, don’t you?”
“Apparently so.”
“You going to do right by her?” Ray asks.
“I want to, but right now she is not open to making that happen anytime soon.”
“Can’t say I blame her, boy.”
“Yeah.” I glance down, ashamed.
“Everyone makes mistakes. It’s what you do afterward that counts. You got to show her you’re in this for the long run and for the right reasons. She’s going to be thinking you’re trying to change your stripes because of that babe she’s carrying. I’ve never met her, but from what you tell me she’s strong, independent, and sassy. She won’t be a consolation prize.”
“She isn’t one.”
“How are you going to show her that?” Ray asks.
“I don’t know, Ray. That’s why I’m here to see you.”
“Romance her. Be steady, consistent, and patient. Be willing to bend a little. It’s a concept you’re not used to in that world you live in. Real love requires us to meet in the middle.”
“It sounds like you’re telling me I’m her bitch, Ray.”
He laughed. “Hey, we all are for someone.”
“That ain’t happening, old man. Not in this lifetime.”
“I’m not saying become another person. Do this in your own way for her. You know her, use everything you’ve learned to sway her. Show her you’re capable of being what she needs.”
“I don’t know the first thing about being what somebody needs. Look at how it ended for my father.”
“Look at how it ended for your grandparents,” Ray reminds me. “Happy until the end. You focus so much on the darkness, you can’t see the light.”
“Easier to stay sane and avoid disappointment that way.”
“You lost your chance to stay aloof when you made a baby and fell in love,” Ray says.
“No one said anything about love.” The four letter label makes me uncomfortable.
“You think not saying it, makes it less true?” he asks as he peers over his glasses.
“I’m not going there with you.”
“Ain’t me you need to be worried about, now is it? Think on what I said. You have to find the way you communicate the way you feel. Why don’t you tell me your plan?”
“I’m going to move in with her.”
“She agreed to that? Maybe she’s not as upset as you think?”
“Not exactly.” I look away, embarrassed about my heavy handed behavior in front of Ray. Here, I’m not Skull.
“What did you do, Tritt?”
The use of my given name turns me back into a boy. “I told her I didn’t want her living alone anymore and I’d be moving my stuff in today.”
“Lord, you are a clueless fool. You can’t treat her like those prospects of yours.” He scowls.
“I’m not—”
“It’s exactly what you’re doing.”
“You want me to sit on my thumb and twirl instead?” I ask.
“Fast isn’t better. You might make into her home, but will she resent you more for it?”
“Maybe at first?” I answer.
“Resentment is a slow moving poison hard to get rid of,” Ray says.
“So eat my words?” I ask already hating the taste of crow.
“How about you change a demand into a question and a request, instead?”
I sigh and crack my neck. “This is damn stressful.”
“Get used to it. You’re about to enter the world of parenthood. Ain’t nothing harder or more rewarding than that.”
“You’re all heart, Ray.”
“Honestly son, I’m glad this happened. Otherwise, you’d spend the rest of your life keeping everyone at a distance. I know why. We all got our reasons for doing the things we do. I never judged you. But somewh
ere inside of you, I think a part of you always wanted more. It’s why you let Ruthie see the real you under that biker persona you wear like a second skin. You can’t go back now. You have to keep moving forward. That’s going to make for some pain. But you’re no stranger to that.”
“No, sir, I’m not,” I agree.
“Go make me proud and get to work on making an honest woman of her.”
“Thanks for this, Ray. You need anything?”
“I have more than enough now between you and those two young’uns who just left.”
“Next time I come, I’ll bring you some of the good stuff.” I wink.
“Good, my flask will be tapped by then.”
I chuckle. “I’ll bring you some fresh Scotch and mags.”
“Bless you, son.”
I pat his shoulder as I push to my feet. “I’ll keep you posted between now and then. I get the feeling I’m going to need your expertise.”
“I told your Pa I’d be here when you needed me. That means saving you from yourself when you’re being a dumbass.”
I laugh. “Always a way with words.” I can’t help but feel like a thousand tons were lifted off my shoulders. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some negotiating to do.” The minute I leave, I make a call to our tech guy and ask him to find everything he can on the grankids. No one’s going to fuck over Ray on my watch.
Chapter Four
Ruthie
The knock at the door echoed through the empty house. I rise from the couch ready for battle. If he’s at the door with boxes full of belongings, I’m going to flip my shit. I worked my ass off to purchase this house. I’ll be damned if anyone orders me around in it. I open the door ready for a battle and find a bashful looking Skull on my doorstep. I’m thrown off by his mannerisms.
With his dark hair hidden beneath a gray beanie, his hands shoved in his back pockets, and his relaxed stature, he looks years younger. “So I was out of bounds yesterday.”
My jaw drops. “I’m sorry. Can you repeat that?”
He laughs. “I said I was a dick. I took it too far.”
I smile up at him and step back. “Come in.”
He steps inside and closes the door, crowding my space.
I swallow and lean back to peer up into his eyes. I can see so much in those dark depths. The uncertainty, fear, and an emotion I don’t dare label, lest I trick myself into thinking things that aren’t true.
He cups my face with his large hands. His calloused fingers tickle my skin and my vision swims as he moves in and captures my lips. I moan. His talented tongue darts forward and slips inside my mouth. I’m melting into him, drowning in the intense emotion he’s pouring into the mating dance our mouths are engaged in.
I bring my hands up to cover his. I want to keep him like this forever. Open, caring, and dizzying. I understand him when he speaks this language. I taste the regret for his actions and the hope for a new start. I suck on his tongue accepting the things he’s telling me in the most primal way possible. He rubs his thumbs over my cheekbones and I can’t help but tremble. He’s never treated me with such adoration.
I feel cherished and delicate under his gentle ministrations. My eyes drift to half-mast as our problems are pushed to the background. He trails kisses down my neck, and moves his hand down my back to support me.
“Skull,” I whimper.
“Shhh, let me show you how much you mean to me, Ruthie. I’m not good with words.” He delivers a whisper soft kiss on my pulse point.
Oh, now I know I’m a goner. “Yes.”
He lifts me into his arms and carries me down the hall to my room, never stopping his sensual attack. His lips are everywhere at once. Behind my ear at the spot that makes my toes curl, at the corner of my mouth with an endearing sweetness I didn’t know this man to be capable of. He nudges the door open with his broad shoulder and sits on the bed keeping me in his lap. I feel safe and complete in his arms. I snake my arms up to wrap around his neck and deepen our lip lock. My body grows hot. My breasts ache, and a river forms in my panties.
“You have become vital to my wellbeing.” His voice is smoky and thick with emotion. “The thought of not having you, had me scrambling to take control. The thing is, I don’t want that. I want you to freely give it to me.”
“Give you what?” I ask breathlessly as he peels my t-shirt up over my head. I raise my head and moan as the cool air caresses my heated flesh.
He cups my breasts gingerly. “I knew these were bigger.”
I smirk. “Of course you’d notice that.”
“I want entrance, Ruthie.” He pops the clasp of my ‘do me’ bra and the girls spring forward in all their swollen glory. He rolls my nipples between his fingers. “Into your heart, your body, your life.”
I can’t help but roll my hips, grinding my ass into the thick bulge in his jeans. I lean my head back against his shoulder, shaking as an orgasm builds up. My body is insanely sensitive, and my hormones are always raging. Whoever said pregnancy made you horny had been underselling the actuality. The friction of the seam of my shorts against his bulge and the tug of my nipples sends me screaming over the edge. My body shakes, and he holds me firm whispering in my ear as the white recedes from behind my lids.
“I’m not done with you by a long shot, Ruthie,” he whispers darkly as he lowers me to the bed and strips me bare. His kisses run along my body lingering at the crease between my thigh and pelvis. He moves away to my inner thigh, touching his lips everywhere but the place I need him most.
“Skull.” I clutch the sheets and lift my hips in invitation.
He chuckles. “Yes?”
“Stop teasing me.”
“What? Do you want this?” He flicks my clit.
My body jerks. “Yes.”
“Or is it this, you want?” He circles my clit and I rock up against him. His arm comes down over my waist holding me in place. “I’m going to eat you now, ‘cause you taste delicious and I can’t let all this cream go to waste.” He licks a path up my slit, teasing me with the stiff tip of his tongue. I grunt. “I couldn’t hear you, Ruth.”
“God, yes,” I say shakily.
“That’s good. ‘Cause I like all the things I do. Imagine waking up to this every morning.” He circles my clit with his thumb, and pushes his tongue inside.
I fist the covers as my eyes roll in my head and my thighs clamp around his head. We move together. Harsh breathing and the wet sounds that follow with giving head the right way fill the room. I bury my fingers in his hair and take what he’s giving me. He’s got me immobile and ready to go off. My body trembles as the wave of release starts low in my belly and explodes, moving thorough my muscles in a starburst pattern. My body trembles and my mind travels to a place full of light, love, and pleasure.
“You back with me?” He places gentle kisses on my face.
“I think I just had an out of body experience,” I whisper.
“I have just the cure for that, an in body experience.” His thick cock parts my lips as he pushes inside me inch by inch. Stretching me deliciously. It’s been almost a month and my body takes a second to yield. I love the pleasurable pain. I wrap my legs around his waist, hooking my ankles as I dig my nails into his flesh.
“I want this every day,” he says into my ear.
I tilt my hips crying out as he bottoms out over and over.
“I want to see you change. Feel the first movement, and keep you safe. I need to be that man for you. For myself.”
His words and movement blend together in a life-giving performance that obliterates my walls. “Oh—Tritt.” My voice catches as he grips my hips hard.
“Is-is it okay?”
I can feel the strain in his body as he holds back from giving me everything he has to offer. “Yes.”
He’s a blur of motion as he pulls out, hooks my legs t
o the side and thrusts home, slamming into my G-spot. I swear I see actual sparks fly between us as my body is engulfed in by the flames of desire licking at my skin. I flex my pussy, and he growls. Our bodies glide together slick with sweat. My heart pounds and something cracks open inside me. I want him here for all of this. My body shakes and tears spill from my eyes as the abyss rushes up to greet me. I tumble over sobbing his name and bucking. He yells out seconds later filling me to the brim with his essence.
He strokes my hair back from my face as we lay on our sides still connected. “Can I have this with you, Ruthie?”
Reality tugs at my conscious. “There are things we both need to discuss.”
“And we will. Don’t avoid the question.”
I close my eyes. “Yes, Skull. You can move into the spare room for now.”
He kisses my forehead. “Thank you.”
I peer at him. This is a new side of Skull. It makes me hopeful, and guilty. He’s opening up and I’m still hiding. I close my eyes and push the troubling thoughts aside. I want to bask in this moment, lock it into my memory and hold it close to keep when it everything eventually splinters around me. Exhaustion takes over. I fight to keep my eyes open.
“You sleep. I’m going to get started on the move.”
“Okay.” My tongue feels thick as I form the word.
He laughs.
I feel his lips on the top of my head and then my body goes into hibernation mode.
***
“I see you haven’t told them about your dirty little secret.”
“Dad?” I narrow my eyes and take in the man I haven’t seen in person in the last three years. His face is thin and gaunt. His cheekbones protrude from sallow flesh. The drugs and alcohol are ravaging him. His six foot one frame has become stooped. He slowly makes his way toward me.
“You know you can’t hide me forever. I didn’t raise you to be a coward.”
“You didn’t raise me at all,” I snarl.
The daddy issues are starting to spill over. I know people say you think about your own relationship with your parents when you’re about to become one. That’s bad news for me. If Rochelle went through this, she never mentioned it. Then again, she’s four years younger, and doesn’t remember half the shit our old man put us through. There’s a reason he never got partial custody and had to stick with supervised visitation and when we were older, weekends here and there.