by Sorcha Black
Silence fell between them. It seemed like his words hadn’t fixed a thing.
“I thought you left because I was a loser with no job, or because me losing my job was a good excuse to leave.”
“Why would I need an excuse to leave?”
He paused. The time for acting macho was done. Now she’d just get the truth.
“Because you didn’t love me. That was the only thing I could think of. I tried to make myself feel better by telling myself maybe you didn’t love Elodie either, but I know that’s not true.”
Why was flat-out asking someone if they actually loved you so difficult? Maybe because if you had to ask, the answer was probably no.
Tess wiped her eyes on the back of her hoody sleeve, leaving wet splotches behind. “I did love you. I do. I just can’t figure out why you’d love me. I’m such a fuck-up.”
She loved him?
He got a visual of his heart expanding, like the Grinch’s did in the movie. It would have been easy for her to ignore the unasked question, but she’d answered it without hesitation. Maybe this was fixable after all.
“You are not a fuck-up! We’ve been apart long enough to prove you don’t need us, or give us space, or whatever that was about. Why don’t you come home?” When she didn’t reply, he got up and grabbed her duffle bag, but when he tried to help her to her feet she resisted.
“We can’t go anywhere until we talk.” She hooked her fingers into the collar of her t-shirt. “There are things that need to be said.”
“I’m sorry about what I did, and about how things happened.” He ran a hand through his hair, feeling sheepish and immature. What grown man reacted like he had? “I should have called you or texted you, but I was so scared of fucking things up, I froze up every time I went to do it.”
“Not about that, Lock.” She covered her face with her hands and mumbled, “You need to sit.”
“What?” Shit. She had slept with someone else. Jealousy coursed through him, and anxiety, making his feet and legs feel weird. Did she love this guy, or was it just a fling? If she had stepped out on them, maybe she didn’t want to come back at all. There was no question of him wanting her back – they’d just be careful until they could get her tested, then he’d try to forget about tracking the guy down to kill him.
Tess started to cry, falling apart before his eyes. He sat next to her, putting his arms back around her and pulling her close. They weren’t close enough for him, so he sat her on his lap and cradled her.
“Shh. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out.”
“You’re going to hate me.” She crumpled in his arms, her words soggy, and she sniffled against his chest.
“Not even possible.” Shit. How many guys had she slept with?
Even so, every protective instinct had kicked into gear.
“Do you remember on the way home from the tournament?”
Perplexed, he nodded. Why would he be upset about something that hot? Fuck. She’d had a safeword. Maybe he should have stopped without her having to ask him to.
“Of course I do. Why?”
“I made you...”
“Technically, I made you.” His mouth twisted.
“Shut up! I’m trying to tell you something.”
The urge to spank her crossed his mind, but he ignored it.
“Spit it out, then.”
“We lost the condoms.”
Yes, he’d lost the...
Oh fuck.
A brief wave of panic swept over him. He’d lost his damned job and accidentally got his sub pregnant, all within twenty-four hours? What were they going to do? What did she want to do? Elodie was going to be fucking pissed.
But he’d pulled out.
“Are you sure?” His voice was hoarse, but thankfully neutral.
“I can show you the test, if you want.” She reached into her bag, which he’d dropped on the coffee table, and fished it out. In the stick’s window it said “Pregnant 3+.”
“Okay. What’s the number for?” He was shaking, but tried to stop so it didn’t scare her too. How had she done this alone and not ended up fainting?
“It means I was over three weeks pregnant when I took the test. But that was a month ago.”
They sat quietly for a minute while he stared at the word “pregnant”. He’d spent his whole teenage and adult life trying to avoid that word, and here one rash decision had changed everything.
“Wait a minute, did you say ‘a month ago’?” he asked, his voice sharp. She cowered back as though he was going to hit her. He tried to tone it down, but it felt like his blood was going to boil over. “Maybe you didn’t figure this was any of my business, Tess, but leaving me in the dark wasn’t fair.” She’d known forever and hadn’t come to him for help or protection? That fucking hurt. If she had called and told him about that, he would have gotten past the bullshit that had come between them pretty damn fast.
“Well, I wanted to have some time to figure out what I wanted to do first. I thought about going to a clinic, to...I mean I can barely support myself. But then I just couldn’t. I’m either going to do this, or find someone to do the job better than I can.” Her hand slid down to cover her flat belly. “I’m sorry I couldn’t spare you this, after I made you do it. I don’t expect support or anything.”
Made him do it? That wasn’t how it had happened. Should he apologise? It seemed crude to do now, after she’d already decided she was going through with the pregnancy. A pregnancy wasn’t something you said sorry about.
Lock’s thoughts were speeding so fast he wasn’t sure what to think. Did he plan on having a kid now? No. Had he planned on having a kid with a woman he hadn’t been with long? Definitely not. But to leave Tess alone to deal with this? Never. To make plans to give his kid away to a stranger? Not even if Hell froze over.
Not knowing what else to say, he kissed her. The kiss was long and sweet, and gave him time to feel instead of think. He loved Tess – there was no question. Elodie loved her too. He’d put this baby in Tess’s belly, and now that the initial shock had passed, the knowledge satisfied some weird dominant, male instinct. Oh, he was definitely sticking around. He’d figure out a way to support them, even if she didn’t want to stay. That was his kid, his, not just hers, and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to step up to the plate.
“Come home. We can do this.” He put his hand on her belly, over her own. “I love you Tess, and I’ll love this baby. I think I might be in love with it already.”
Her surprised gaze sought out his. Such a delicate little thing – how was she going to manage to carry his baby if it got his brute genes?
“No. I can manage on my own. You’re not going to start supporting me just because of this. I’m an independent woman.”
Independent, was she? He glowered at her.
“I’m giving you a choice, Tess. Either you can march your ‘independent woman’ ass out to my car, right this fucking minute, or I’ll carry you there. You are not going to do this alone,” he growled. “You’ll have to get a restraining order put on me, if that’s what you want.”
She blinked at him, as though his vehemence was a surprise. Did she think he was going to just simply agree to abandon her – them? If that was what she’d been hoping, she was shit out of luck.
“But you don’t have to do this.” Her tear-streaked face broke his heart. She’d known for weeks and never said a thing to El. She would have told him. Had Tess confided in anyone?
“Yes I do. But more than that, I want to. I didn’t come over here to end things with you. I came to get you back.” He pulled her closer again, and thought about showing her the necklace in his pocket. It wasn’t the time.
Tess tucked her face into his neck, and tension drained from her fragile frame. “Okay.” She sighed, and it was like her bones had turned to water. “Okay.”
She fell asleep there, deeply, as though she’d finally found a safe place. How many nights had she laid awake, alone, desperate, wondering what to do?
He buried his face in her hair, aching for her. She should have called early on so he could go to her, but then, he should have been less of a clueless dick.
Despite how light she was, soon his legs had fallen asleep along with her. He didn’t care a bit.
*
Tess clung to his hand as they walked up the steps.
“She’s going to be so mad.”
“Only because you didn’t tell her. She’ll get over it.” Actually, he hoped this wasn’t the final straw that made her walk out. His relationship with Elodie had been good since they’d talked things through, but with her temper, who knew? She hadn’t gotten jealous yet about his relationship with Tess, but there was a first time for everything.
And this was a teeny tiny everything that was going to change all of their lives.
When Lock opened the door, Elodie entered the foyer from the kitchen, looking wary. Her gaze settled on Tess, and her eyes grew round. Then her gaze moved to their clasped hands.
She sank to the floor and began to cry.
“Elodie, come up.” Lock tugged her to her feet.
“I’m having a big heart attack. You have to leave me here une petite minute.”
“Come into the living room.”
Elodie ignored him, and backed Tess against the wall. “Why you never answer my texts?” She was so agitated her accent had thickened. “Here’s me thinking – oh, she hates me. Oh, she doesn’t give two shits about you, Elodie, quit being a fool.” She swallowed hard. “Now here you are.”
“I’m sorry,” Tess began. Elodie cut her off with a gesture.
“She’s sorry!” Elodie threw her hands in the air. “Just like that. Boom, she’s sorry, and then she’s here.”
Lock moved closer, ready to step in if things got too heated. He’d never realized how pissed Elodie was at Tess. Shit.
“It was stupid of me to run away.” Tess shrugged and looked at her toes. “I’m just sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I didn’t want to text you back when I didn’t know where things stood with Lock.”
Elodie grabbed Tess’s chin and glared. “You’re going to be a fucking sorry little girl if you ever run out on us like that again. I’ll put you over my knee and spank you until my hand gets tired, then Lock will spank you. We’ll take turns until we pass out. Stupid, stupid girl!” Elodie pinned Tess to the wall and kissed every inch of her face. They were both crying. “You broke my heart into little pieces, ma Souris. You must never do that again. Okay? Never, never.”
“But that’s not everything. I have to tell you something else, before you say that.”
Elodie looked crestfallen. “Okay. You slept with someone else. I knew it. We’ll go and sit and you’ll tell us and I’ll try not to be crazy about it, even though the idea has been making me crazy since you left.”
They moved into the living room and sat on the couch, but Lock remained standing and tried not to pace.
“No, I never slept with anyone else. A few guys offered, but I said no.”
Pardon the fuck out of me? She hadn’t mentioned that part. A jealous haze moved over Lock, and he had to shake it off. There was no time for that.
“What then? What could be so bad if it’s not that?” Elodie was grinning now, and Lock felt guilty about the other shoe that was about to drop.
Tess hesitated and looked at him. She was right, it was his place to tell Elodie.
He took a deep breath. “Tess is pregnant. The baby is mine.” Saying the words out loud was surreal. He felt dizzy, and he put his hand on the windowsill for support.
Elodie’s eyes went wide and then she frowned in disbelief and snorted. “This isn’t the time for a joke.”
“I wouldn’t joke about something like this, Elodie. You know better.”
Tess wrapped her arms protectively around her belly, and Elodie saw her do it.
“Dieu,” she whispered. “How is it even possible? You’d have to be...almost two months?”
Tess nodded.
Elodie leapt to her feet and glared at Tess. “You’re fucking with me.”
“No, it’s true,” Lock cut in.
“Oh my god...Oh my god!” Elodie shouted. “Oh my god.” A high pitched noise came out of her and for a moment Lock had trouble processing what was going on. Then she was on the couch beside Tess again, hugging her very carefully, and kissing her like a madwoman. “A baby!” She kissed her again. “A little baby!” She put her hand on Tess’s belly. “My god, you need to eat. You’re too skinny. Are you hungry? I can make you something. A sandwich?”
Tess laughed incredulously. “No, I just ate.”
“My god, we’re having a baby.” Elodie jumped up and paced out of the room, then came back. “I have to clean something. The house is too dirty and it’s going to make you sick.”
Lock went to Elodie and pulled her into his arms, just to help her calm down. “Are you okay? I know it’s a shock.”
“It’s not a shock, it’s a baby, stupid man!” She pushed him away then swatted his arm. Then swatted him again. “What were you thinking? Look at that poor girl. She’s too tiny to have your big monster baby! We need to take her to the hospital to make sure she’ll be able to push it out when it’s time. She’s too small for pushing out babies with big heads!”
Unable to help himself, he started to laugh. Tess was giggling and crying at the same time.
Seeming to come to her senses, Elodie grinned back at them. She pulled Lock over to the couch and they sat on either side of Tess, hemming her in. Warding her.
“You brought her home.” Elodie was beaming. “I knew you would.” She sniffed like she was trying to stop crying, and cuddled into Tess, who kissed her. His arm went around them both. Elodie shook her head incredulously. “I can’t believe I got my girlfriend pregnant.”
Epilogue
Elodie laid their sweet, sleeping daughter in her crib, fully aware that in a few hours they’d be walking the floors with her. She drew a light finger down her chubby cheek, and El’s eyes prickled with tears. There was something so mesmerizing and vulnerable about a sleeping child – especially one that was her own. Sometimes she stood there for ages, just watching. She always had company.
Tess tiptoed out of the room with her, wincing when she stepped on the squeaky board. It never failed – one of them always managed to hit it. They both giggled under their breath, watching their eight-month-old as she continued sleeping as though nothing had happened. Tess breathed a sigh of relief and kissed Elodie. The shared moment added itself to many other perfect moments in Elodie’s mind – such a rich, full life since Tess had come back to them.
At first Elodie’s mother had rolled her eyes when she’d called to announce they were expecting. But after the initial flurry of pictures, after Ripley was born, Maman had started to knit and call her with admonishments about keeping Ripley’s little feet warm and not taking her out after dark.
Between taking care of the baby and what had become the family business, none of them left the house much anymore, but they were too happy and tired to miss going out.
When they walked back into the rec room, Kylie and Duncan lounged on the couches while Rick and Marissa knelt at their respective feet. Lock kept them company. Lock, Tess and Elodie took turns, and since he’d changed the last dirty diaper, he was back on the entertainment committee. They went to Lock and knelt to either side of his chair.
“Lee-Lee went to bed okay?” He looked from one to the other.
“She was being so cute we had to watch her for a while. Baby TV is hard to walk away from.” Elodie grinned.
“Then I almost woke her up by stepping on the squeaky board.” Tess shook her head in exasperation. They all hated it when they did it.
“Did she thwart any aliens before you left?” Rick asked.
“She makes sure her bedroom is clear before she goes to sleep,” Lock grinned. “She’s badass for a kid with three teeth.”
“I guess we should probably be going,” Kylie got to her fe
et. “Apparently Lock has some unfinished business with the two of you?”
Elodie looked over at Tess, who seemed just as perplexed. Their games usually lasted into the wee hours of the morning.
Merde.
“What did you tell them, Monsieur?” Elodie asked, trying to keep her tone neutral. It was one thing for him to share details of their personal lives with Kylie, but Duncan’s submissive, Marissa, had been feeling substandard lately because she worried her Dom would want another girl too.
“Just that.”
“But all we did tonight was roll up characters. We didn’t even get to play.” Tess had taken to role-play fast for someone who’d never done it before.
“This new campaign will last for years,” Kylie reassured her. “There’ll be plenty of time to play.”
The others gathered their things, and from the sinister look in Lock’s eye, Elodie had the urge to grab her coat and go with them. Elodie couldn’t leave Tess alone and at his mercy though. She tried to grab Marissa and get her to stay and protect them, but the girl just giggled and shook her off, then followed Duncan out the door.
When they were gone, Lock turned back to them.
“Shower and meet me downstairs.”
They groaned, but knew better than to argue. Arguing with Lock when it came to this sort of thing never went well.
They showered, spending some time kissing and touching. It was amazing how Tess’s body had snapped back into shape after Ripley was born – aside from her breasts being slightly larger and a few stretch marks that made her self-conscious sometimes. Elodie thought the marks were hot, and spanked Tess when she insulted her body.
“What do you think he has planned?” Tess whispered in her ear.
It was so much fun having someone to plot and commiserate with. Sometimes Elodie felt bad for Lock because they had him outnumbered, but he was usually more than able to handle them.
“I think making us wear buttplugs again for the past few weeks makes it pretty obvious. I really hoped he’d forgotten about that months ago, but I think he just gave us a break because you were pregnant.”
Tess put her hands over her eyes. “Nooo. What is it with men and their fascination with...that?”