'I harbour no ill will towards Tia. I know it's out of character for her.' He replies cryptically. I hesitate.
'That doesn't quite answer my question...'
'I won't grass her up, okay?' He snaps, turning away from me. 'Will you just leave?'
My heart sinks at his words and I turn the handle, opening the door a fraction. An ache spreads across my chest at the thought of leaving his company. Even though he's mad at me, and clearly never wants to speak to me again, I still want to be around him.
I slip through the door and close it quietly behind me, stepping aside and leaning against the cold paintwork. My breaths are ragged and a hot, prickly sensation is breaking out across my skin.
I haven't felt more human since being changed.
What is it about Malachy Beighley that makes me act this way? He's right, I hardly know him, so why do I allow him to affect me so much?
I'm pretty certain that I don't feel for him romantically, I don't know him well enough for that. So why does he 'morph me into a weird version of myself' as Tia said?
All I know is that I dislike being away from him, especially now there's bad blood between us. I hate not knowing when – or indeed if – I'll speak to him again and the thought that I might never sends me into a frenzy of panic.
This is so unlike me.
Which is why, even as my hand reappears on the door knob, I'm screaming at myself to turn and leave, go away like he asked, get on with my imperative task and stop wasting time.
'Malachy?' I startle him out of a deep thought – unusual for an Immortal – and he looks irritated to see me back in his room. 'I'm sorry,' I mumble, closing the door behind me.
'Jesus, Eve.' He shakes his head in disbelief and I feel embarrassed for myself.
'I know! I know you asked me to leave you alone and I will, just hear me out,' I plead. He sighs, perching on the edge of the window ledge, reluctantly listening.
'I'm sorry, alright? What I said was out of line, I know that. And I'm sorry for prying into your personal life. I shouldn't have asked Tia about you, I was just curious. You intrigue me.' I admit, glancing away quickly as his eyes meet mine.
There's an awkward silence.
'It's alright,' He says finally and I let a breath out. 'I suppose I don't really care who knows. I have nothing to be ashamed of. But I won't be asked about it.' He refers to Aleks and I nod hastily.
'Of course not.' I reply, racking my brains for something else to say, anything, to stall time with him.
'You intrigue me, too.' He breaks the silence and I glance at him, expecting to see the back of his head, but instead, his gaze is steadily fixed on mine. My breath catches in my throat and I try to swallow it down, feeling a lump lodge there instead. I'm hot and flustered, trying to think of what to say.
'Lucrezia will be wondering where I am. She'll come looking for me,' He breaks the uncomfortable silence. 'And you ought to be getting on with your task.' He reminds me. I sigh at the mention of my stupid task. Perhaps the reason I like being around Malachy so much is that, on occasion, he makes me forget about my predicament with Lorna Gray.
'I know.' I nod, accompanying him to the door. He opens it for me and I step out into the corridor, just in time to see Lucrezia step out of the lift. I grip Malachy's arm and he turns his head, spotting Lucrezia just as she clamps eyes on us. My knees weaken as a hot shiver of panic runs down my spine.
'Malachy?' Her tone is already furious, her eyes are accusing as they flicker back and forth between Malachy and I. 'Kannst du mir das mal erklären?' She speaks German harshly, striding towards us with surprising pace.
Malachy replies something hastily and I curse myself for not paying closer attention in Languages class.
'Go, Eve.' He mumbles. I instantly make for the lift, not needing a second warning. My strides are long, my breathing uneven as I watch the elevator doors open in front of me. I glance back at Malachy just in time to see Lucrezia drag him back into his room.
Panic sets in again, the feeling becoming more and more familiar to me lately, and I sprint for mine and Tia's room. I burst through the door, ready to beg for Tia's help – though what she can do I have no idea – but our bedroom is empty and I remember that Tia's mad at me. She'll probably spend the night with Richard, and she's probably told him what I did and made him mad at me, too.
Sighing, I sink onto my bed, sending a prayer up to a higher power I don't believe in, begging for Lucrezia's discretion. I hope that Malachy can find a reason for my being in his room at such a late hour, though I know the likelihood is slim.
*
With each passing day I find it more and more difficult to concentrate on my education. Even in Counselling, when my only job is to talk about my feelings, I find myself simply staring into Islwyn Griffith's kind eyes, not listening at all.
He's worried for me, I can tell. After such a swift and easy initiation into my new life, I'm now struggling to cope. Perhaps he thinks I'm suffering with post-traumatic stress, whatever he jots down on his clipboard every few minutes, it isn't good.
'Do you think you can't trust me, Eve?' He asks, distracting me from my thoughts, which lately are nothing but an endless procession of Malachy's facial expressions.
'Of course I can.' I lie, averting my gaze.
'Are you struggling with your studies here at the Institute? Or your friends?' He presses.
'No, I'm fine Islwyn, honestly.' I insist, concentrating for long enough to give him a hard stare, trying to convince him once and for all. He sighs, setting his clipboard aside and leaning towards me.
'Very well,' He shrugs, trying to hide his irritation. 'But you can talk to me, Eve. You can and you must.'
'I will, Islwyn, I promise.' I lie again, desperate to leave.
'Very well.' He repeats, dismissing me with a wave of his hand.
I can't help but feel bad for poor Islwyn. He's a kind man, I know that better than most, and I have no doubt that he's genuinely concerned for me and isn't poking for information to feed back to Sir Alec. But if there's one thing I've learnt during my time at the Institute, it's that I can trust very few people within it.
I close the door to Islwyn's office behind me, glad to be through with Counselling for another 96 hours.
I'm so caught up in my relief, I almost don't notice Tia, leaning against the opposite wall, waiting for me with a menacing – yet obviously worried – look on her face.
I hesitate before stepping towards her. The corridor is full of students making their way to their next classes, their huge bags full of books balancing on their shoulders. They shriek and cackle loudly down the hall and from an outsider's perspective, the corridor looks just like a high school. One would have to look very closely to see the traces of Immortality in these morons.
A fourth or fifth year smashes into me from my right, his bag knocking my head to the side, and he turns to look at me as if it's my fault simply for being there.
'Sorry.' He laughs, eyeing me sarcastically. He's tall and lanky, with thin arms and a mop of black hair.
'Of course you are. I can see that Immortality certainly wasn't wasted on you.' I bite.
He stops, shocked that a puny first year has dared speak to him like that, and opens his mouth to tell me off, but his friend pulls him away.
'Come, Rylan, leave it.' The shorter boy urges, dragging my attacker down the hall. As they leave, I'm sure I hear the short boy mutter the word 'Malachy', but I chalk it up to stress messing with my nerves. Malachy and I have never been seen in public together aside from when he was congratulating Tia last night. Nobody saw us leave together, and if they did it wouldn't seem strange; Malachy is always pulling students aside, it comes with his Auctorita duties.
'Honestly, can't you go five minutes without causing some sort of drama?' Tia jokes as I near her. I glance up at her face, hopeful that she's forgiven me for what happened with Malachy but, although her expression is almost smiling, her eyes are still cold.
'Trouble seem
s to follow me around.' I shrug, keeping my distance a little.
'I'll say,' She muses sarcastically. 'So, did you speak to Malachy?' She asks, cutting straight to the point.
'Yes,' I nod, recalling last night's events for the hundredth time that morning. 'You can rest assured, he's not going to Sir Alec.' I smile, proud of my good news, but Tia narrows her eyes.
'He may not be going to Sir Alec, but is he going to Lucrezia?' She asks.
'What do you mean?'
'Well, if he tells Lucrezia, you can bet your bottom dollar that Sir Alec will find out.'
'No,' I shake my head firmly. 'He understood my meaning. He's not telling anyone.'
'You're sure?' She raises an eyebrow.
'Positive,' I nod eagerly. 'He said the words 'I'm not going to grass her up.''
'Her meaning me?' She asks, and I nod. 'What about you?'
'What about me?' I shrug. 'If he tells Sir Alec or Lucrezia that I broke a rule, I deserve it. I screwed up. I just wanted to make sure that you'd be kept out of it.'
I'm deliberately martyring myself. I know that Malachy has no intention of grassing me up either, but I desperately want Tia's friendship and there's no harm in pretending I'm taking a hit for her. It works, too; I watch her face soften a little.
'Well, thank you.' She nods appreciatively.
'You have nothing to be thankful for.' I shrug, layering it on. Tia's frosty distance dissipates and her amber eyes thaw out.
'I'm sorry about last night,' She mumbles, looking guilt-ridden. 'I shouldn't have lost my temper like I did.'
'Oh God, Tia, it's fine. I deserved more than that! I just... I was kinda hoping we could put this behind us now?' I ask hopefully, not daring to breathe as I await her response.
'Of course!' She gushes, threading her arm through the crook of mine. 'Friends?' She asks.
'Friends.' I smile as we walk arm in arm to the common room, ready to take advantage of what little time we have left of morning break to catch up. The common room is full but I see no trace of Malachy or Lucrezia. Meredith is perched on our usual sofa but I hold onto Tia's arm as she makes towards her. Tia glances back at me quizzically and I lean into her ear.
'Can we talk alone?' I ask her quietly. She nods and pulls me into a corner, shrouded from Meredith's view by other students.
'Last night,' I begin, lowering my voice as much as possible for Tia's ears only. 'Lucrezia caught me leaving Malachy's room.'
Tia's face drops for a moment before breaking into a misplaced grin. I frown at her, confused as to what could possibly be funny. 'Imagine what she thought.' Tia raises an eyebrow. I sigh loudly, gripping her forearm for emphasis.
'It's not a joke.' I hiss, relaxing as Tia's face turns serious.
'Okay, sorry. You're right, it's not good,' She agrees, her expression turning thoughtful. 'Well, did she say anything?'
'Yeah, but it was in German. I didn't need to understand it to know that she was pissed.'
'Well, you'd better hope he came up with a valid excuse,' Tia warns. 'She's either going to think one of two things. That you and Malachy are...'
'Yeah, okay.' I tut as her mouth twists into a smirk.
'Or that you're sneaking around doing something illegal, and Malachy is helping you because you look like – '
'Conspiring again?' A voice interrupts mine and Tia's conversation and I jump, spinning to find Richard's smiling face behind me. 'Honestly, you two are gonna get yourselves into trouble, standing in corners whispering like that.'
'God, Richard, keep your voice down!' Tia hisses, scolding him to no effect. He slips his arm around her waist, pecking her cheek before turning to me.
'Alright, Eve?' He grins mischievously. 'Now why don't I have the same effect on you as our Auctorita friend? Then maybe you'd spill all your deep dark secrets in my ear.'
'Richard!' Tia and I shriek simultaneously and, although I try to be angry with Richard, I can't help spluttering with laughter.
'You're unbelievable.' I suppress a smirk as Richard winks at me. I kiss Tia's cheek, and receive a slap on my behind from Richard, before departing, heading for Theory class.
I'm quite looking forward to an hour in Will's class. Perhaps I can concentrate on something other than Lorna Gray or Malachy Beighley, and actually get some education.
I stroll the corridor, in high spirits now that Tia and I are fine, and for that reason, don't see it coming before I'm dragged into an elevator shaft, strong arms around my waist pulling me backwards.
I kick and scratch, but for some reason, no sound escapes my lips. My attacker is stronger than me and, though I writhe ferociously in their tight hold, I don't manage to escape before I'm pulled into blackness.
'Shh, Eve, it's me.' Malachy's familiar voice soothes in my ear and I relax, letting my body melt into his. He releases his grip slowly and I resist the urge to thrash around again, just so that he stays holding me.
'What are you doing?' I hiss, turning to face him, my breath catching in my throat as I realise how close my face is to his. The lift shaft is a tight squeeze and we fit around one another to occupy it.
'If you're going for serial killer chic, it's working but it doesn't suit you,' I joke, but Malachy's face remains solemn in the dark. As I get over my elation at being in his presence, I remember Lucrezia.
'Oh, shit. Are we in trouble?' I ask, feeling my stomach drop.
'For the moment, no,' Malachy shakes his head, but doesn't release any of the tension he's built up in his rigid posture. 'I told her that Sir Alec had asked me to speak to you about your task. It was plausible, she bought it.'
'Good.' I smile, letting myself relax.
'But...' Malachy hesitates and I tense up again. There is a 'but.' 'I can't be seen with you again. It's too risky. I won't be able to think on my feet next time.'
'What?' I frown, my voice ridiculously sulky, like a five year old who's just been told that Christmas is cancelled. 'But this was a one-off. A mistake. We wouldn't be seen – '
'No, it was an accident waiting to happen. We're lucky she didn't hear any of our conversation,' He replies firmly. 'I want to help you, Eve, but I won't risk your life doing it.'
'Risk my life? What? Okay, we just won't talk about Aleks – '
'Don't say her name.' He hisses, that cold look crossing his features, and I back off instantly.
'I'm sorry.'
'Look,' Malachy sighs. 'I don't know what's going on here. I don't know why I'm helping you, it's crazy. I shouldn't be helping you, though Sir Alec would most likely only approve of it...'
'So, what's the problem?' I whine, knowing, too, that Sir Alec would only be pleased to find Malachy helping me convince Lorna to change.
'Lucrezia is the problem,' He snarls, causing my confidence to wither and die. 'I don't need to spell it out for you, Eve. You know the stories. If she caught you and I spending a substantial amount of time together, do you think that would bode well for you? Even if Sir Alec approved of it? Even if we had an excuse?'
'Well, no, but...'
'There's no point arguing with me,' He states, his tone final. 'I won't be seen with you again. Lucrezia's not stupid, she knows that you look like...' He falters. 'She'll suspect that I'm doing more than just helping you with your task. She'll make life hell for you. Just stay away from me, is that clear?'
I fold my arms across my chest. Malachy's voice is authoritative as he uses his Auctorita influence over me and I detest it.
'Crystal.' I reply sarcastically, taking a step away from him.
'Good,' He nods, his eyes holding mine, neither of us willing to look away first. 'You know about the cliff edge now, take Lorna Gray there, try your best. That's all you can do,' He tells me, his voice softening a little. 'Be careful, Eve.' He warns me, and I resist the urge to reach out to him.
I glare at him, half of me hating him, the other half longing for his comfort. Out of everybody – Islwyn, Tia – even Diana – Malachy somehow has the ability to soothe me more than any
one.
I take in his appearance, feeling as though it's for the last time. His platinum hair falls softly across his eye and I resist the temptation to brush it aside. His ice blue eyes stare intensely into mine, the edges darkened in the elevator shaft, shadows falling across the lower half of his face.
I want to touch him, but I daren't. I long for him to touch me, but I know he won't.
As I stand, lost in time, staring at him, I wonder if perhaps I do feel for him romantically. It would explain the way I'm behaving, the thoughts I'm having. It would explain why I feel such despair at the thought of spending no more time with him.
'Take care,' He tells me as I turn to leave, his voice soft and gentle. 'And good luck, Eve.' I wonder if I'll ever hear him speak my name again as I nod, hovering.
'Malachy.' I acknowledge him, his name melting on my tongue one more time. And then I'm gone, he is gone, I'm walking away, my legs carrying me along the corridor in the direction I least wish to go. I'm wobbling, unsteady on my feet, and the last I see of him is a flash of blond hair around a corner as I turn.
The Gray Institute (The Gray Institute Trilogy Book 1) Page 28