“Sort of like the Princess and the Pea,” he said, grinning at his own cleverness, which in April’s mind only supported the accusation of obtuseness.
She only shrugged, afraid to open her mouth and step in any further. Personally, she couldn’t see what the big deal was. She’d never noticed whether she slept on sheets with nibbies or not. The only time she was horizontal in a bed was when she was fast asleep, unconscious of nibbies, piles or pills. Unconscious enough to be unaware of anything else that might take place in a bed, either.
He leveled that steely gaze on her. “Sounds to me like you’ve got a good bead on the subject. You’re the right person for this case.”
“And what exactly is this case?”
“Inside surveillance.”
A moment passed before she managed to speak past the alarm shrieking in her head. “Inside surveillance? You want me to go…undercover?”
“As Rex Holt’s in-house marketing assistant.”
Undercover? A laugh sprang unbidden to her lips, along with a denial that she managed—barely—to squelch before it actually popped out of her mouth. Good thing, too, because butting heads with John would only make him dig in his heels.
She started to pace. She didn’t sit still well on the best of days, but with John springing fieldwork, no, undercover fieldwork on her…
Glancing at the most recent Mooney family portrait that included a stoic John, a smiling Paula, their daughters, sons-in-law and seven grandchildren, she clasped her hands behind her back and forced herself not to pace, although the urge to move was physical.
She was manic at the best of times but when she got nervous…April Stevens aka April Accidentally had learned to curtail her actions rather than risk knocking anything else off John’s desk, or heaven forbid, the étagère, which housed all sorts of sentimental items.
John knew more about her than anyone on this planet. Surely he could be reasoned with. “Wow, real undercover work,” she forced herself to say lightly. “Why don’t you take the case? You live to go out in the field and it’s been a good year since you’ve gotten out of this office.”
“Aside from the fact that I don’t know a damned thing about nibbies, I promised my wife that I’d get you out from behind the computer. She said you’ve been holing up since you and Jeff broke up. She thinks you’re pining.”
“I’m not pining.”
Man, she should have known she’d wind up back here despite diversionary tactics. The planets must be aligned, because short of quitting her job and moving to Canada, April couldn’t seem to avoid John and Paula’s attempts to force her to get social.
“I appreciate the concern, John, but what is it you don’t understand about hard work? I like working hard. I’m good at my job. Where’s the problem?”
“You’re good at the computer end of your job. You don’t have enough experience in the field. And like Paula pointed out, you need to make time for a life.”
“I have a life. A good one. You know how active I am in the adoption society—”
“More time spent behind the computer.”
“If memory serves, I just took off a morning last week to attend the preschool graduation of one of your little rug rats.”
“A real life. You barely come out from behind the computer for holidays. When was the last time you were out with friends? Or on a date?”
April could hear Paula’s arguments as though she were actually broadcasting them through her husband’s mouth. “I was just out with the girls a few weeks ago for Marietta’s bachelorette party. I’m sure every female in this place will corroborate my story.”
“What about a date?”
“I haven’t met a guy I’m interested in.”
She wouldn’t mention that if she happened to meet one she’d run in the opposite direction.
“Cut me a break, April.” John spread his hands in entreaty. “What am I supposed to do? This is Wilhemina we’re talking about here. Paula’s on the warpath. She wants me to help her sister and she wants you out from behind the computer. This is a straightforward job. You pretend you’re this guy’s assistant and keep your eyes on him. You can handle this. Getting out of the office will be a challenge.”
Challenge? Oh, John was right about that. She inhaled deeply and tried to appeal to reason. “Send Sherry. She’s much better at this sort of thing.”
“Sherry’s married. We don’t have any idea how long it’ll take in-house security to complete their investigation. It makes more sense to send single you.”
“Just because I don’t have a husband doesn’t mean I don’t have important things going on in my life, you know. I happen to be in the middle of an adoption search.”
A bald lie, since she’d just reunited Dawn Conover with her birth sister and hadn’t been assigned another search yet.
“Bring your laptop. You can work your search into your cover. An occasional break will keep you fresh.”
“Sherry will blend in much better.”
His dark gaze settled on her thoughtfully. “You’ll blend in just fine. Don’t borrow trouble.”
John didn’t have to define borrowing trouble, and while April appreciated his confidence in her abilities, the simple truth was that jumping into new situations was not one of her strengths, at work or in her personal life.
Unfortunately, she hadn’t been nicknamed April Accidentally for no reason. She was high-strung by nature and whenever she got nervous, accidents were the likely result, which didn’t make her prime undercover material.
Of all the crosses she might have to bear in life, April considered this one tame, if rather unfortunate. She accepted her flaws right along with her strengths and coped with them.
“John, this isn’t a good idea.”
He arched a grizzled brow at her. “Is the sex part making you uncomfortable? I was sure you could handle it.”
Before her breakup with Jeff, April might have been able to handle glory holes and bedding companies. But now…
“The sex does bother me a little, to be honest.” Unwilling to elaborate on the reason why, she quickly added, “I’ll have to be close to spy on this guy and you said everyone in the company has sex on the brain…shouldn’t you send a man?”
“I told you, I checked him out. He’s okay. This is a baby-sitting job, April, plain and simple. All you have to do is make sure Rex Holt doesn’t make contact with any rival manufacturers. This is not difficult stuff.”
“A baby-sitting job?” She tried not to sound panicked or resentful and didn’t think she succeeded on either count. “Since when have you had baby-sitters on your payroll?”
John steepled his hands before him and looked at her over his fingertips. “This is the perfect job for you. Wilhemina needs a professional in place and she trusts you. She asked me to send you specifically, if that makes you feel any better. If anything unusual catches your attention, you report it. Should any questions be raised about this guy’s integrity, you’ll be able to testify that he conducted good business on the road.”
Both Wilhemina and John had lost their minds, April decided. It wasn’t that she wasn’t well trained or competent, but just the thought of heading into the field made her adrenaline pump so hard she could barely hear past the rush of blood in her ears.
“I know you’ve said Wilhemina’s people exhausted the computer angle, but give me a crack at it. They’re not as good as I am. I can track those posts. I’m sure of it.”
“We’re not being hired to investigate. We’re being hired to baby-sit. Wilhemina wants you. Besides, who else in this firm will be able to hold his own with nibbies, piles and pills?”
“Nibbies, piles and pills, oh my!” She pushed off her perch on the chair arm and started pacing again. Babbling was not a good sign, it usually indicated another step toward panic. If John had been paying attention, he’d have noticed.
He wasn’t. Or perhaps he was just ignoring the symptoms.
April could have appealed to him to send som
eone else. If she was pathetic enough, she might just wear him down and she wouldn’t have to make excuses to Wilhemina until Easter. But that would mean standing up for herself and she wasn’t so hot at standing up for what she wanted on the best of days. And especially not with John.
So she scowled instead.
He scowled right back.
Whoever lasted the longest would win.
Unfortunately, John had the edge. If he was determined to send her to the Luxurious Bedding Company how could she possibly refuse him? Besides being her boss, John Patrick Mooney was also the closest thing she had to a father. He’d come into her life at a time when she’d desperately needed a friend, after her adoptive parents had died tragically in a ski-lift accident during a long-anticipated second honeymoon.
Learning of her situation through their church, John and Paula, whose own daughters had been either married or attending college at the time, had opened their home to April so she could avoid toughing out four years of foster care until reaching eighteen and adulthood.
A very decent thing to do, considering the circumstances of their first meeting.
She certainly hadn’t meant to trip John as he welcomed her into his home, but she’d nearly sent him sprawling right through the decorative glass door. The poor man had still been sporting the goose egg a week later when she’d moved in.
Fortunately, he hadn’t held the accident against her. He’d taken her under wing through the ups and down of her high school years, including her decision to pursue her birth parents.
Though she’d been unable to locate her birth parents, April had found a family with the Mooneys. They’d become her family-by-love, as she liked to call them. She’d become a friend to John’s daughters and Auntie April to the grand-kiddies. Aside from occasional bouts of too much concern for her well-being, they were perfect. She honestly didn’t know what she would do without them.
No, she wasn’t going to practice her standing-up-for-herself skills with John. And he knew it.
Leaning back in his chair, he stared at her with dark eyes that saw right through her.
“Why are you so worked up about this job? What’s the real problem? I can’t help unless you tell me.”
Busted. April clasped her hands behind her back and stared hard at the Mooney family portrait. The last thing she needed was a case that would put her in direct contact with sheets—which would invariably lead to thoughts about what couples did between them.
But she couldn’t tell John that now, could she? Telling the truth would mean admitting she’d sworn off relationships that involved sex for the rest of her life because she was a disaster in bed. Bonafide hopeless. Evidenced by the fact that Jeff had nearly aspirated during their last sexual encounter, in the very whirlpool tub he’d sworn would help her relax.
In all fairness, April couldn’t have known he was going to lick her there. He’d been underwater, after all, and if she’d known he’d been perched so precariously on the bench, she would never had jumped, no matter how ticklish she might be.
But she hadn’t known, so she had jumped and Jeff had lost his balance, cracked his head and almost drowned.
Bum luck? Not exactly.
She’d had three lovers in the space of six years and enough near-misses to come to the conclusion that April Accidentally was simply too high-strung to have sex. She could barely stay in one place long enough to run a background check on a suspect.
She worked in front of a computer all day, true, but she didn’t sit, she stood, with the keyboard taped to a treadmill no less. The only time she ever got horizontal was while sleeping.
She simply couldn’t handle another romantic encounter that wound up with some form of CPR, or worse yet, a body. Jeff had claimed she was being ridiculous, accidents happened—especially to her, she’d silently agreed—and had refused to let her break up with him.
But that was a refusal more easily made than kept. April had broken off with him and sworn off men—for their protection and her peace of mind. After serious soul-searching, she’d made the decision to give up the one thing that she’d wanted all her life—her very own family. She’d never have a husband or children. She’d never even have an orgasm, for goodness’ sake.
But this was all need-to-know information that John didn’t need to know. Not only didn’t he need to know, she was fairly certain he wouldn’t want to know. The idea of his own daughters having sex had him waxing poetic about storks flying around with pink and blue bundles. She had no intention of admitting any of this. Not even to get out of this case.
April had handled losing her beloved adoptive parents to tragedy. She’d handled the defeat of sealed state records after an exhaustive search for her birth parents. She’d handled accepting that her future didn’t include her own family or happily-ever-after or mind-blowing orgasms.
She could handle going undercover to spy on Rex Holt. Even surrounded by sexy bedding and a slew of raunchy e-mail posts.
All things considered, life could be a lot worse.
She met John’s searching gaze and forced a smile. “I don’t have a problem with the sex. No problem at all. I’ll go undercover as the in-house marketing assistant.”
And try not to get nervous, cause accidents or think about the family she’d never have and all the sex she was missing.
2
To: Rex Holt (mailto:[email protected])
Date: 7 Mar 2003 08:55:41-0000
Subject: Interoffice Relations
Weekly group sex sessions will promote teamwork between departments!
Studies prove that sex promotes closeness and cooperation; group sex will offer a budget-friendly method of improving interoffice relations. The confidentiality clause of the P&P manual will protect all parties from personal repercussions.
Rex Holt frowned at his computer screen, right-clicked his mouse button and forwarded this and the accompanying 162 e-mail posts to the Luxurious Bedding Company’s president, Wilhemina Knox. Contemplating group sex as a viable support skill wasn’t exactly how he’d planned to start off his Monday morning. While he could live with the thought of two women pleasuring a male co-worker, the flip scenario made him cringe.
He found the effects of the sexy Sensuous Collection and these suggestive posts far too distracting for his taste. Trying to concentrate on work when his blood was maintaining a constant temperature somewhere between simmer and boil was proving damned difficult.
Reaching for his coffee mug, Rex took a healthy swig. Maybe caffeine would help. Then again, maybe not. At least not with a dozen promotional photos of the Kama Sutra Sports Set littering his desk. Bedding the company classified as “gaming sheets,” the 720-thread-count Egyptian cotton set was imprinted with adventurous sexual positions and included a game piece for consumers to spin and add variety to their erotic lives.
A variation of Twister, he supposed.
Averting his gaze from the zoomed images of couples with twining legs and thrusting parts, Rex gulped more coffee. At this rate he’d show up for his ten o’clock marketing strategy session with a hard-on.
Again, not exactly how he’d planned to start off his week. But then, this job at the Luxurious Bedding Company wasn’t turning out to be what he’d expected either.
The titillating sheet sets in the Sensuous Collection were the topic of every marketing strategy session, budget meeting and operational planning review. But Rex hadn’t felt any threat to his professionalism until some clown had started sending these suggestive posts through the company network, lending the whole project a decidedly raunchy edge.
Fetishes, fantasy role-playing, bondage, glory holes…the posts ran the gamut. Sex had become the topic of conversation among employees in corporate headquarters—over the water coolers, in the copy room and even on the lunch line in the cafeteria.
Sex on the brain, Wilhemina had called the phenomenon, which begged the question: who needed group sex in the conference rooms to improve interoffice relations?
<
br /> No one, as far as Rex could tell. Everyone appeared to be relating fine. The warehouse supervisor had caught two employees testing out the stock in a shipping truck, and a petition urging executive management to implement the glory hole proposal had circulated through the departments. While no one had actually been bold enough to sign it, the petition had left more buzz in its wake that had spurred the sexy talk even hotter.
Unfortunately, Rex was no better than the rest of this bunch. Though he’d had no lapses in professionalism to his credit, he’d been thoroughly preoccupied with all the sexy distractions. Had he known that sex would start occupying a top slot in his thoughts when he’d contracted this project, he might have reconsidered accepting the job, even though it had meant a chance to work with Wilhemina again.
His gaze slid back to the Kama Sutra Sports Set. Most companies wouldn’t have taken so much risk, which is exactly what had made this project appealing. Rex understood and agreed with Wilhemina’s position—capitalize on their image and turn a negative into a positive. It was a bold move, one the company needed at this stage of the game. And Wilhemina Knox was just the woman to make it. Rex planned to make sure she had all the statistical ammunition she needed to make her new company gain big.
Gathering up the photos of the Kama Sutra Sports Set, Rex made the trip between his office and the conference rooms, wishing San Francisco rather than Atlanta was the number one stop on his itinerary. At least in the Golden Gate City a lovely flight attendant named Susan would be ready to help him satisfy his overactive libido.
It was the only city with such a distinction.
The migratory nature of his life precluded long-term relationships. He stayed in a place only long enough to get a new project underway. Then he headed out on the road to conduct marketing studies that provided him with the demographics he needed to offer the cutting-edge marketing strategies that had earned him a name in the industry.
Between The Sheets Page 2