by Laura Dower
Madison sighed again.
“You have to talk to me more,” Dad pleaded.
But Madison wouldn’t talk. She wouldn’t cry. She held her breath and made her second huge wish of the evening.
Please make Dad just go away.
“Okay. I’m not leaving this bedroom until you talk to me,” Dad said.
He reached around and pulled Madison toward him. Madison found herself staring right into his big eyes.
“I don’t have anything to s—s—say….” Madison stammered, trying to look away so she wouldn’t get upset.
Dad sat down on the bed next to Madison. Their heads were side by side. It got very quiet in the hotel room.
“I wish I could explain to you how I feel right now. I’ve tried telling you before about me and Stephanie, but I am not sure you really have understood.”
“I know, I know,” Madison said. “I’m not a dummy, Dad.”
“I don’t think you’re a dummy, sweetheart. I just think that you need to look beyond the surface of things sometimes.”
Madison thought again about Bobcat Lake. She did see. Beyond the surface was muddier than muddy.
“Dad, can we talk about something else?” Madison asked.
“What else is there to talk about right now, Maddie?” Dad asked. He stared up at the ceiling.
“What are you thinking about now?” Madison asked, after a few more moments of silence.
“In ten hours, I will marry Stephanie, and more than anything else on this planet, I want you to be okay with it,” Dad said.
“I told you a zillion times, Dad, I’m okay with it,” Madison lied.
“I believed you before,” Dad said. “I’m not so sure anymore.”
Madison sat up on the bed. “Why don’t you believe me now?” she asked. “I can’t believe you don’t believe that I believe …”
Dad made a face. “What?”
“Oh, forget it!” Madison said, frustrated by her inability to articulate what was on her mind. “You know what I mean!”
“I believe that you want the best for me, Maddie….” Dad’s voice trailed off. He looked into her eyes. “Are you scared you might lose me?”
Madison gulped. She wasn’t willing to admit that. No way.
“What are you talking about?” Madison asked.
Dad nodded. “You know.”
“Are you really marrying Stephanie tomorrow?” Madison asked, as if not marrying Stephanie were an option Dad was considering.
“Of course I am,” Dad said, without hesitation.
“But her family is so weird,” Madison said. “And she’s so … neurotic. She practically bawled her eyes out that night in here with me. Definitely not a good sign, Dad. You need someone else. Someone better.”
“Oh, Maddie,” Dad said thoughtfully.
“I don’t get it, Dad,” Madison said.
“Love doesn’t always make sense, honey bear. You’ll find love yourself someday. Then you will know what I’m talking about.”
Pictures of Drew … and Kirk … and then Hart flashed through Madison’s mind.
Dad sounded like a Hallmark greeting card. But he was making some sense.
Someday she would find love.
“It’s getting late,” Dad said, finally lifting himself off the bed. “And I’m getting married in the morning.” He was singing the tune from My Fair Lady.
“That’s it? You’re going?” Madison said, grabbing for his leg as she had done when she was little.
Dad gently grabbed her hands and pulled them away.
“Is Uncle Rick here yet?” Madison asked.
Dad nodded. “They’ll see us in the morning,” Dad said. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep now?”
“Right,” Madison said. “You have a big day tomorrow.”
“Correction,” Dad said. “We have a big day tomorrow.”
“Okay, we,” Madison said. She threw her arms around his waist. “We have a big day tomorrow. We. We. We.”
Dad turned and headed back into the adjoining room with a wink and a blown kiss. “You just sleep tight, Maddie,” he said as he pulled the door shut.
As soon as he had vanished from sight, Madison’s chest heaved. If her life had ever bordered on soap opera, Madison thought, it was doing so now.
Whom could she talk to?
She wished that Bigwheels were online so they could chat.
She wished that Fiona weren’t in the middle of her dad crisis or that Aimee weren’t sleeping, so that they could all chat.
There was only one person left who could lift Madison’s spirits now.
She picked up the phone and dialed Mom.
“Hello?” a groggy voice answered on the other end. Madison realized that back in Far Hills it was way after one o’clock in the morning.
“Mom?” she said.
“Maddie?” Mom said. “Is that you?”
“I forgot how late it was,” Madison said. “Sorry.”
“Oh,” Mom said, trying to snap out of her sleepiness. “Is something wrong, Maddie?” she asked.
“No,” Madison said quickly. “I just …”
“You sound funny.”
“Yes … I mean, no,” Madison said. “I’m fine.”
“Oh,” Mom said. “So you just called to wake me up, then?”
“I guess. You better go back to sleep. I’m really, really sorry.”
“Maddie?” Mom said. “Why don’t you call me in the morning, when my eyes aren’t glued together and I can actually talk like a normal person?”
“Dad’s getting married tomorrow.”
“I know,” Mom said sweetly. She paused. “Are you sure you’re okay, honey bear?”
“Yes, yes,” Madison said. “Well, I think so.”
“And you’re sure you can wait to talk until morning?” Mom asked.
“Yeah,” Madison said. “Give Phin a kiss for me. I love you guys!”
“We love you, too,” Mom said. “Sleep tight.”
Madison was still saying the words “I love you” when Mom hung up the phone. Madison hung up on her end, too, and rolled back onto the bed. Her stomach felt as if she’d just ridden on the loopiest roller coaster in the world.
Was it because of all the things Dad had said about Stephanie?
Was it all that talk about love?
Love.
Madison had totally lied to Dad. Of course she knew about love. After all, that was really the only thing that explained how she felt about Hart Jones.
Love.
It was a big, pink thing that made her head spin.
And with what little she knew about love, Madison began to understand why tomorrow’s wedding day must go on—no matter what.
Chapter 16
AROUND THREE IN THE morning, Madison opened her eyes in a panic.
The hotel room was totally dark except for a pale white glow around the curtains, where a little light seeped in from the parking lot and the city of Bellville.
The collage!
She sat up in bed and clicked on the side-table light.
With all the parties and rehearsals and heart-to-heart chats with Dad, Madison had forgotten to finish pulling together all the pieces of her wedding collage for Dad and Stephanie.
And she was supposed to be giving it to them as a gift in just a few hours!
Madison threw off the blankets and jumped out of bed. She reached underneath the bed to find her stash of collage materials.
She laid out the pages of the collage that she had already finished. A few pages needed some more borders of foil and stickers and glued-down words. Madison scrambled for her materials. She couldn’t believe that she’d been working on it for only a few days now and here she was, putting on the finishing touches in the middle of the night.
Madison yawned.
She wasn’t even sure she would be able to stay awake and finish the whole thing. And the television wasn’t much help in keeping her awake. There was nothing interesting on—just
some infomercials about skin care and chicken roasters. And the more she thought about Fiona and her dad and how much she missed Far Hills …
She had to keep her mind on the collage! By the light of the hotel lamp, Madison turned her full attention to the last touches of gluing and snipping. Somehow, with the help of some woven ribbon, she pulled everything together, so that the only thing left was to write the poem.
The poem.
Madison had tried out several different—and unsuccessful—versions of the poem during the week. It was going to take some more deep thinking, and unfortunately, Madison was sure that all of her brain cells were on snooze at that moment.
She yawned again. And then finished the poem.
The clock said five-thirty. A yellow light crept across the carpet. Morning was on its way.
Madison wished that Phinnie were there in the room with her. He’d know the right thing to say, in doggy talk. He’d nuzzle her feet with his wet nose. Phin always knew what it took to make Madison happy, before, during, and after a stress-out period.
But Phin wasn’t there. She had to do this all on her own.
Madison peeked into the closet and pulled out her long, orange, tie-dyed dress. It sparkled in the dim light. For a split second, Madison wondered if maybe the dress would clash with the wedding cake or the hoedown favors, but then she stopped worrying.
No matter what the circumstances, Madison was going to be herself—orange dress, orange shoes, and all the rest.
Besides, she’d already accepted the fact that Tiffany and the other cousins would be more dressed up than she was.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
A very loud beep echoed in the room, and Madison shot a look at the alarm clock. She had preset it so she wouldn’t oversleep.
Now all she could do was laugh.
Oversleep? Ha!
It was close to six-thirty, and she’d been up for hours.
Madison threw herself across the bed and gazed up at the ceiling tiles, counting them one by one across the perimeter of the room. In midcount, she felt her eyelids sag.
How would she ever read the Shakespeare poem at the wedding—or do anything else, for that matter?
Then, rousing herself, Madison shook off the sleepy feeling and leaped up from the bed. She headed for the shower, hoping that a little water and soap would kick-start her energy. Sure enough, by the time seven-thirty rolled around, Madison was washed, dried, powdered, combed, blow-dried, and energized. Now, all she needed to do was to pull on her special dress and apply her strawberry-kiwi lip gloss.
Brrrrrrrrrrrrring-a-ding!
The phone was ringing; still a little tired, Madison nearly jumped out of the terry-cloth bathrobe that had been provided by the hotel room. She lunged for the handset.
“Hello,” Madison grunted.
“Now who’s waking up whom?” the voice said. It was Mom.
“Actually, I’ve been awake since three,” Madison said.
Mom gasped. “Since three? Good Lord! What is wrong?”
“No biggie, Mom. I just forgot to do something before and had to do it overnight, that’s all. And it took me so long it didn’t seem worth it to go to sleep. So I stayed up. But now—yawn—I am so tired….”
“Of course you are!” Mom said. “Maddie, you can’t just stay up all night and expect to stay awake all day. Oh, honey bear, you’ll be asleep on your feet at the wedding.”
“I know,” Madison said, stifling another yawn.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t talk last night,” Mom went on. “You sounded upset. Are you feeling better? Is there something you’re not telling me?”
“Well, I wish you were here,” Madison admitted.
“Maddie …” Mom said in a comforting voice.
“And I wish that I had my own hair stylist this morning….”
“Huh?” Mom asked, surprised. “What on earth are you—”
“And I wish that maybe you and Dad were still married. There, I said it.”
Mom took a deep breath on the other end of the line. “Ah,” she sighed. “I see.”
Madison continued. “I know the Big D happened a long time ago and that it was the best thing to do and that you and Dad are happier now, but …”
Her voice trailed off.
“Honey bear,” Mom said gently. “Change is hard. But you’ll be fine. I promise—”
“Oh, Mom. Please don’t promise,” Madison interrupted. “Everyone is always telling me that they promise things will be good, and then something backfires, and it’s a big mess, and I end up bummed out and—”
“Maddie,” Mom gently interrupted again. “You’ll be fine.”
“That’s what Dad told me,” Madison said in a low whisper. She was feeling too tired to argue anymore, especially long-distance.
“Maddie, will you promise me something?” Mom asked.
Madison agreed reluctantly.
“Just be yourself. That’s all anyone ever needs you to be,” Mom said. “And remember, honey bear, that I love you.”
“Oh, I love you, too,” Madison said. She made a smooch noise into the phone. “And tell Phinnie that I love him, too.”
“Call me when it’s all over,” Mom said before hanging up the phone.
Madison put down the receiver and parked herself on the bed. The clock now said seven-forty-five. She had just enough time to log on to her computer and write in her files before she got dressed for real.
The Wedding March
The wedding march song always sounds like “dum, dum, dee, dum” doesn’t it? I was thinking about how funny that is since this wedding has me feeling like a “dum, dum, dee, dummy.”
Rude Awakening: Why do they call it a wedding march when no one marches? It’s not like Stephanie’s coming down the aisle in her combat boots, right? I mean, Mrs. Wolfe would never go for that. LOL·.
Since yours truly hasn’t slept, I’ll be sleepwalking through this ceremony, not marching. This isn’t exactly how I imagined it would be although I guess I’ve been pretty pessimistic all along, haven’t I? I mean, what am I really supposed to be doing here? I feel like I’m letting my friends from home down. And now I’m letting Dad down.
At least I finished the collage. Well, sort of. I meant to add this layer of glitter on one page, but it won’t have time to dry. And I don’t know if the poem is really as good as it could be, but it’s too late to worry about that
Knock, knock, knock.
Madison glanced up from her computer.
“Dad?” Madison asked.
“Maddie?” Dad called out through the door. “Are you awake?”
Without turning off her laptop, Madison snapped down the cover. She hurried over to the door, clutching the sides of her terry-cloth robe, just as Dad poked his head inside her room.
“’Morning,” Madison said with a grunt. She tried to shake off her sleepy state. She’d admitted the truth to Mom about having been up since three, but she didn’t want Dad to know.
Dad had on jeans and a checkered shirt for now. The tuxedo would come later. Madison could see little droplets speckling his forehead. He looked pink all over, as if he were overheating.
“Hey, Maddie!”
Appearing from behind Dad, Uncle Rick and Aunt Violet came into the room, too. Madison covered herself up, blushing a little.
“Hey,” she said softly, leaning in to give them a kiss. Since she hardly ever saw them, hellos always felt awkward—and being dressed in only a robe didn’t help matters much.
“Are you feeling okay, Dad?” Madison asked, rubbing her own eyes. “You’re not still upset about last night, are you? I mean, you’re not mad at me, are you? I was acting kind of strange before, and you look kind of …”
“Of course I’m not mad at you!” Dad exclaimed, wiping his brow again. “I’m just dandy, except for the sweating. But then again, I always was hot stuff….”
Madison giggled. “Oh, Dad.”
Dad snickered to himself, which made Madison glad.
He wasn’t overheating—just nervous.
“Excited for your dad’s big day?” Aunt Violet chirped. She was dressed in yellow from head to toe—like a canary.
Madison nodded. “Sure am,” she said.
“Your dad says there have been parties all weekend,” Uncle Rick said. “Sorry we missed ’em, eh?”
Madison nodded again. “Sure am,” she said.
“How’s school?” Aunt Violet asked.
Madison brought them up to date on life back home. Her uncle and aunt told her how much they had missed seeing Maddie at Thanksgiving. Having members of her family in the room made Madison miss her mom and friends in Far Hills even more.
“So, will I be hanging with you two today?” Madison asked them, expecting a resounding “YES!” for a reply.
Dad shook his head. “I don’t think so,” he said glumly. “Unfortunately, there are some conflicts….”
“Oh?” Madison asked.
“I wish I could drive you over to the wedding events,” Uncle Rick added. “But I have to stay with your dad, and Violet is meeting an old friend in Houston before the wedding.”
“Oh,” Madison said again.
“But we’ll see lots of you later today,” Aunt Violet chimed in.
Madison forced a smile, although she was disappointed. “Promise?” she asked.
Uncle Rick grabbed her around the shoulders and squeezed. “Absolutely!” he said. “This is a big day!”
After a few stalled good-byes, Uncle Rick and Aunt Violet headed back to their room to get a few things. Dad sat down in a swivel chair, crossed his legs, and stared out the window.
“You okay?” he asked Madison.
“I guess,” Madison said. “What are you thinking about?”
“How grateful and glad I am that you’re here,” Dad said. “The truth is that you’re my one and only, you know that? My one and only.”
Madison wrapped her arms around Dad’s shoulders. He was getting sappy all over again, but she didn’t mind one bit.
“You’re my girl,” Dad said, looking a little emotional. “My little, baby girl …”
Madison was tempted to say, “Dad, I am so not little or babyish anymore. Cut that out!” But instead, she leaned in to kiss the top of his head. It was as though their roles had been reversed. And right now, he needed her comfort even more than she needed his.