by Regine Abel
She turned back to me, and I bared my soul to her. We connected again, but the damage was done. Something had changed. The look in her eyes said ‘I’m sorry. Goodbye.’ And then she turned from me.
“Hello,” she said to Khel. “My name is Amalia. Would you care to converse with me?”
Amalia… Why?
Pain and I were lifelong partners. First throughout my sickly youth, and then as I lived daily with the throb of the Taint. This, however, crushed me. Every fiber of my being was ripped apart. Vicious claws tore me to shreds from the inside out. My vision swam before me. Ghostly hands squeezed my throat, preventing air from reaching my lungs. Khel’s joy at being chosen felt like acid rain pouring over me. Of all the rejections I had faced in my life, this one destroyed me. It wasn’t just that no other woman had ever looked at me like a male instead of a walking disease. But this connection between us… She was my soulmate.
The Goddess gave me the strength to endure the following half-hour without showing the devastation inside me. I only half listened to their conversation, my ears ringing. The rational side of me knew this was the best possible outcome for Khel, the estate, and our family. Had she chosen me, in a few years, the Taint would have claimed Khel. Without my anchor, I would die, leaving her widowed and our offspring orphaned.
Our offspring…
Searing pain stabbed me in the chest. I tried to find comfort in the knowledge at least there would be offspring. They wouldn’t be mine, but I would love them as fiercely as if they were for whatever time I had left. By the time Amalia asked him to fasten with her, I had wrapped myself in Khel’s happiness in an attempt to soothe some of my pain.
At long last, it was over. While the couples gathered on the central altar for the Fastening Ceremony, the clerk ushered the rest of us back to the Antechamber through the backdoor.
And this took us to shitty moment number five, the last and worst of them all. Although for me, nothing would ever be more painful than today’s Fastening Selection. As soon as the door closed behind us, the masks dropped. For the past two hours, we acted as if we felt nothing, weren’t in pain or drowning in despair. We kept face first before the Primes and Norms, and then before the crowd. But now, with only Tainted gathered in the room, we dropped the pretense.
One of the last two males in the lineup broke down in tears. My eyes prickled, but I blinked the tears away before they could form. This was a far too familiar spectacle. A tall and brawny male led him to a chair and sat next to him. He embraced the crying male, allowing him to weep on his shoulder.
“It will be okay, brother,” the brawny male said. “There will be another time. Did you not see the miracle that happened today? One of us was chosen! A Pearl chose a Tainted! There is hope now, for all of us.”
The others whispered their agreement.
“Not for me, there isn’t,” the crying male sobbed. He gestured at his body. “Look at me! I only have days left. Days! Not even a week. I won’t live to see the next Fastening. Today was my last chance. I’m only thirty-two, and this is it.”
Eyes burning, I swallowed past the lump in my throat. Amalia choosing Khel devastated me, but this put things in perspective. I didn’t know how I would handle sharing a roof with the female who affected me so profoundly. But at least, I got to live a while longer. For all my wallowing in self-pity, Khel had given me a good and comfortable life. This poor male’s heavily calloused hands spoke of a life of hardship and hard labor.
The brawny male whispered comforting words in the crying male’s ears. His large hand rubbed his back in a soothing motion. A few other males hugged each other, seeking solace. Shoulders sagging, I headed for the lockers to change. If I never saw another pair of Fastening Breeches, it would be too soon. Plus I hated feeling so exposed. Over the years, my hooded cloak became somewhat of a security blanket.
I removed the breeches and tossed them in the basket by the lockers. As I turned back to retrieve my clothes, I noticed one of the males giving my naked body an appreciative once over. My muscles tensed, unease coursing through me. I faced away from him, hurrying into my clothes. From the corner of my eye, I saw him discard his breeches and come towards me.
My back stiffened.
“Relax, brother,” he said as he walked past me to the third locker from mine. While dressing, he gave me a side glance, a teasing smile on his lips. “Anyone with eyes can see you’re not bi. Doesn’t mean we can’t admire the view.”
My face heated and he chuckled at my embarrassment. I smiled in self-derision and finished dressing. Although I left the hood down, wrapping my cloak over my garments made me feel better, safe, shielded. As I prepared to leave, Adviser Xhar informed us the Fastening Ceremony would end soon. This meant, the chosen males would be joining us shortly in the Antechamber to get dressed. It was a courtesy on his part for those who wished to make a quick exit. The Tainted didn’t care to be exposed to the happy glow and often insensitive bragging of the Primes.
As I left the room, I cast a longing glance at the central altar where Magister Zhef wrapped the binding cloth over the couples’ joined hands. My eyes lingered on Amalia, a vise-like grip constricting my chest. She was so beautiful. Her plump, pouty lips slightly parted, she stared at Khel with a look of awe and wonder while Zhef completed their bond.
It should have been me.
I forced my eyes away from her, swallowing the acrid taste in my mouth. With heavy steps, I walked out of the Hall.
It would take another fifteen minutes at least for Khel to change and for them to register their Fastening in the Hall of Records. I seized the opportunity to bring our shuttle near the entrance.
Upon my return, I wove my way through the throngs of witnesses. A single topic buzzed on every lip; a Pearl of unknown species chose a Tainted. My chest hurt as the same thought echoed in my mind again
It should have been me.
Standing by the doorway into Main Hall, I observed Amalia and Khel together as they signed the record. A pang of envy coursed through me. I crushed it, knowing this was only another of many more to torment me in the future.
Despite my sorrow, I couldn’t help chuckling when Khel all but bared his teeth at the clerk. I felt his anger flare when the clerk questioned Amalia. Whatever the cause, Khel cowed him into completing their registration swiftly.
He was always such a badass.
While Amalia retrieved her coat from Advisor Fihn, I braced myself and made my way towards Khel. Our eyes connected.
My Gem…
Happiness, guilt and worry warred within him. At that moment I knew, no matter how devastating losing Amalia had been, nothing would ever come between my Gem and me. This was a day to celebrate. I wouldn’t take that away from him.
Smiling, I allowed a sliver of my love for him to trickle through our bond. It wasn’t enough to give away my ability, but it would soothe and reassure him. Khel’s relief and affection flowed through me. His hand fell away from Amalia’s back as he marched towards me. We hugged each other fiercely, ignoring the disapproving frowns at our public display.
“Congratulations, cousin!” I said. “No other male deserves this happiness as much as you.”
Despite the ache lingering in my chest, I meant it.
“Thank you, brother. Thank you for everything.” Khel turned to Amalia and extended his hand towards her. She grabbed it, stepping to his side. “Amalia, please meet Lhor. He’s my cousin by blood, but the brother of my heart.”
A shiver ran down my spine as I turned to face her. Quelling the queasiness in my stomach, I gave her what I hoped was a warm, welcoming smile.
“Seha Amalia, it’s an honor.” I placed my hand over my heart and bowed my head in the traditional Xelixian greeting. “Long life and the blessing of the Goddess upon you.”
“The honor is mine, Lhor,” she said.
Her sultry voice stirred the embers of a fire I had not felt in years. The same powerful connection sucked me in when our eyes met. My skin tingled and my
pulse perked up. Her throat worked and her pupils dilated. She quickly looked away, breaking the bond.
Goddess have mercy.
I affected her as strongly as she affected me. We were so screwed.
Forcing my thoughts away from this forbidden path, I gave Khel an inquisitive look. “If you’re both ready, I can fly us home.”
“Yes, let’s go,” Khel said. “I cannot wait to show you your new home, Amalia.”
THE END.
Thank you for reading!
If you enjoyed my work, please check out my other novels and keep your eyes peeled for upcoming releases.
THE VEREDIAN CHRONICLES SERIES
Escaping Fate
Blind Fate
DARK TALES
Bluebeard’s Curse
Anton’s Grace
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