New beginnings have abounded for me and my family. I left the career I had built for the previous eight years. I was never passionate about my job. Losing Joel made me realize how short life is, and I didn’t want to live another minute seeking only provision. I wanted my heart to sing again. I wanted to soar. I have found that in many ways through words—through sharing with many blog readers who have faithfully followed our story. To see lives changed through our story is just icing on the cake.
Milo continues to blossom. My first miracle baby, the one who made me a mom, is a full-on big boy now. The essence of who his father was is so deeply carried in the heart of my son. He talks about Daddy all the time. He knows who his father is and how completely he loved his boy. We make Joel a part of our day, every day. Whenever I really miss my husband, I need look no further than our Milo, who is the spitting image of him in just about every way.
Then there’s Ellis. Well, she was just born to shine. Her life continues to astound as she scales every wall they said she would never climb. She is full of joy and loves to laugh and sing. She is always hitting new milestones each month—sitting up, rolling over, laughing, giving kisses, saying several words including (my favorite one) “Mama,” and most recently starting to stand. She has also begun to initiate steps, and her therapists believe walking is right around the corner. Each are things we thought she might never accomplish, and we rejoice at her divine progress. Her story has traveled the world and back again. She has been on the front page of newspapers and featured on television. Each time they talk about the miraculous way her life was saved and the goodness and faithfulness of our God. The mountains continue to move.
You never move on, but you can move forward. The best way to honor my husband’s life is to do just that. Keep moving. Keep running our race well. The Choose Joy Project is a testament to that and continues annually in remembrance of him. That’s how we honor his legacy. By refusing to bow in defeat. By choosing to rise.
Not a day goes by that I don’t miss my husband, my sweet JoJo. It has not been easy living this life without him. But as I grieve, I grieve with hope for the moment when we will see him again and when all things will be made new. Hope in the promise that we will continue to see beauty rise from our ashes and redemption birthed from our pain; trusting that the Author of our story will write its glorious ending.
I finished up packing my belongings and began to wheel my suitcase to the door leading to a new path before me. I gave my counselor one last hug as the tears rolled down my cheeks. My life was changed. My heart felt whole again. It was not as if I had forgotten where I had come from. Never. But I have started to anticipate where we would be and what the Lord has in store for our little family. Through the darkest hour of our lives, He was there. He wept with us. He held us in our pain. He mourned with us in our grief. Now He was steadying my heart and gently leading me forward.
I said my good-byes and made my way to the lobby. Here I was, once again, about to embark on another adventure—the adventure of life. No one ever knows what’s in store, but I can now face it with confidence—confidence in who I am, confidence in who walks beside me. I am never alone. I was never alone.
A smile slowly crept across my face. Peace washed over me. As I gently turned the knob to what awaited me, sunshine broke through, bathing me in the most magnificent light. We were going to be okay. We were going to be okay.
With that, I took a deep breath and slowly but surely walked out the door.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sarah Rodriguez is a graduate of Victory Bible College in Tulsa and currently resides in Oklahoma. She is a writer and speaker and is active in her church community through worship and other avenues of serving. She was blessed to be married to her husband, Joel, for eight incredible years. She is Mommy to Milo and Ellis.
Visit Sarah’s blog: http://journeyofsarah.com/
For more information on the Choose Joy Project, visit: http://journeyofsarah.com/choose-joy-project/
Portions of the proceeds from this book will be donated to an organazation near and dear to Sarah’s heart—Beads of Good. For more information visit: www.beadsofgood.org.
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