by Sara Orwig
He stroked her hair from her face and kissed her cheek, trailing light kisses to her mouth. Rebecca turned her head to look at him, and his breath caught at the heat in her gaze. He leaned down to kiss her deep and hard, as if he could convey all he felt by his kiss. He raised his head and touched her cheek lightly with his index finger, looking at her smooth, fine-grained skin, her wide blue eyes. “I love you,” he whispered.
She closed her eyes, and he felt a sudden stab of pain. It was as if in that moment she had slammed a door in his face and shut him out of her life.
Rebecca wanted Jake’s love. He was a wonderful man and his lovemaking had taken her to dizzying heights. She wanted to be able to return his love, knew that she was already far more in love with him than she wanted to admit, but she was never going through anything like what she had with Dan. Never. She was not going to sit back and watch Richard Vance drive up someday to tell her that her husband had been blown up by a bomb while he was trying to save someone.
Tears stung her eyes, and she didn’t want to cry, because she knew Jake was watching her. She felt his thumb trace across her eyelid and wipe away a tear, and she turned, twisting beneath him, unable to keep her emotions under control as her throat burned and more tears came. “I can’t let go of it, Jake. No matter how lonely I am or how much I need you or even if I love you, I'm not putting my heart at risk again.”
“Shh, Rebecca,” he said softly. “Don’t cry, honey. You don’t have to do one thing today. Just take it a little bit at a time.”
His words calmed her. She twisted around to look at him. “Bully,” she said gently, amazed by his patience, because he could be such a hard, arrogant, commanding man at other times.
He grinned, white teeth showing, creases appearing in his cheeks, that coaxing twinkle coming into his eyes. “That’s my girl,” he said with hearty approval. “I'm counting on the passionate woman in you to win the battle going on inside that pretty head of yours.”
“I ought to kick you out of bed,” she snapped, but there was no bite in her words. It was delicious fun to be in bed with him, to have this intimacy.
“Give it a try,” he urged, the twinkle changing to a wicked gleam as his legs pressed hers down. “I don’t think you can get a kick anywhere that will have any effect.”
She smiled at him and realized what possibilities lay before them if things would only change. “Oh, Jake!” She sighed, suddenly relishing his strong body covering hers, the feel of his weight on her. She slid her hand over his smooth back and then couldn’t resist letting her fingers drift over his buttocks.
The moment she did, she felt him stir inside her, and her amusement vanished as she gave him a startled look and saw passion flare in his eyes again.
“See what you do to me?” he asked in a husky voice.
“Me?” she asked, astonished that she had that kind of effect on him. She felt her cheeks flush, and he leaned closer, his gaze going to her mouth.
Suddenly she wanted him again, wanted to feel his hard body, wanted him to take her through the same dizzying spiral to release.
Jake’s body became hard, and he moved slowly, intending to draw out their loving this time and make it last longer. Rebecca arched beneath him, her long legs holding him tightly while she clung to him, and then her fingers slid down over him, tugging at his buttocks as he moved with her.
She cried out, arching when he thrust deeply into her, and they climaxed again, Jake shuddering with release and sagging on top of her, wanting her in his arms every night for the rest of his life.
This time they were quiet for a long time, and then Jake turned to kiss her again. “And you were saying, love?”
She stuck her tongue out at him. “I have no idea what I was saying when you so sexually interrupted.”
He chuckled and hugged her, rolling over so that they lay on their sides and he could look at her. “This is one of the best days of my life.”
Instantly her blue eyes clouded, and Jake kissed the tip of her nose. “Stop worrying. There’s no ring on your finger, no contract in front of you. You're no more bound than you were yesterday....” The words floated into the air, his voice changing and becoming serious as they gazed solemnly at each other.
Rebecca knew that she was more bound to him than ever, and that he was to her. Their lovemaking had created invisible bonds that would take time and effort to sever. Even if she took things one step at a time for the next year, she didn’t think she would get any closer to the decision Jake wanted her to make.
She rolled over, running her fingers through her hair while worry plagued her. He propped his head on his hand to look at her, running her golden hair through his fingers and kissing her shoulder and throat lightly.
“Just give it some thought. Think about the future. What we had together just now was very special.”
She had to agree with that, but she couldn’t talk about it. She didn’t want to say anything, to get into an argument. She dreaded facing the issue and coming to a permanent decision, because when she did, it might shut Jake out forever.
She wound her fingers in his hair, feeling its softness, the slight wave in the locks. “I'll go—”
He placed his finger over her mouth. “Don’t go anywhere yet. I just want to lie here and hold you against me, to feel your warmth and softness.” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close and stroked her back while he held her.
Jake knew he was going to have a tough battle with her. He had told her she was a strong woman and he knew she would be adamant about standing by her decision to avoid marrying a cop. But he was strong, too, and he wasn’t going to give up easily. He had already won part of her. Maybe more than either of them realized.
He felt stunned, shaken by their lovemaking. He had never wanted a woman the way he had wanted Rebecca. Now, as he lay with his arms wrapped around her, his amazement deepened, because he wanted her even more than before.
He studied her. She was what he had always tried to avoid—someone who hated his work. Someone who was earnest and into lasting relationships. Someone who already had children and obligations. Rebecca’s life-style and his were poles apart, yet here she was in his arms, seeming to fill the needs and voids and emptiness in his life. And until he met Rebecca, he hadn’t even realized these were voids in his life.
Rebecca nestled against him, feeling relaxed, satiated, and mildly worried, because she suspected they might both be in for heartbreak. She stroked his back, enjoying being able to touch him and being held in his arms.
Finally she knew she should move away. “Jake, are you awake?” she whispered, not expecting any answer. He had been so still, she was certain he was asleep.
“I'm awake.”
“I'm going to shower.”
“Good idea,” he said, stirring, and she pushed him down.
“You stay right here. I need to shower alone and make some phone calls and see about what we'll eat tonight.” She slid off the bed and yanked up her T-shirt to wrap it around her, hurrying to go shower.
She returned a few minutes later, wrapped in a towel, her thoughts still churning. “Jake, did you know we spent hours in bed? It’s six o'clock!”
“We weren’t in bed all that time,” he drawled. “We spent a lot of the time standing around and kissing before we ever got in bed. We can try that again.”
“We certainly cannot!”
He chuckled and came out of bed, crossing the room. Rebecca glanced at him, her pulse jumping at the sight of his lean, muscular, naked body. He left to shower, and she stared at the empty doorway.
She dressed in a blue cotton shirt and jeans and sneakers. Studying her reflection in the mirror, aware of the rumpled bed behind her, Rebecca brushed her hair, putting it up in a ponytail.
As she turned to leave the room, she looked one more time at the bed, rumpled from their lovemaking. In her mind she was remembering Jake, his dark hands on her body, his powerful body.
She turned and went to the kitc
hen to start dinner. At the sink, she looked across the yard at the blackened ruins of the barn. Just outside the kitchen, sunlight was bright on Jake’s big pickup, her small, oddly colored green car looking pitiful next to his truck. She shook her head, her thoughts on Jake. Nothing had changed except she was going to be hurt even more now.
She moved around the room automatically, getting out the chicken breasts she had marinated this morning, putting rice on to cook, making a quick corn casserole. Pipes rattled, and she guessed Jake had turned off the shower.
She knew every minute with him now would be more difficult. She had merely compounded her troubles this afternoon by making love with him. He seemed to think she could cope with being a cop’s wife because she had been married to Dan. But she had been younger then and hadn’t stopped to think about the consequences.
She heard the scrape of boots in the hall, and Jake came striding into the room, and her heart thudded.
His hair was damp and clinging to his head. He had on a navy T-shirt and fresh jeans, and he smiled at her, giving her a wink that sizzled through her like an electrical current.
He crossed the room to her, wrapping his arms around her as he leaned down to kiss her. “Hi, good-looking,” he said lightly.
His mouth silenced her answer as he brushed her lips with his, and then he shifted, tightening his arms around her and really kissing her. “Maybe we should go back to the bedroom,” he said in a husky voice.
She pushed against his chest and turned around, unable to give him a light answer. “Jake, I can’t change. I just cannot do it!”
His hands closed on her shoulders, and he kneaded them gently. “Will you stop worrying about the rest of your life? Just think about the next few hours, honey,” he coaxed.
“That’s what I did when I married Dan!” she snapped, and then was sorry she’d been so abrupt with Jake. She wiped her eyes. “Sorry to sound sharp,” she said, turning around.
Jake’s eyes had darkened, and he frowned slightly as he studied her.
“That’s about the only view I had of life when Dan and I married. We were so young and had so few responsibilities.”
“Maybe it’s time you get back to some of that,” he said gently. “Honey, you were hurt badly. I know it was terrible, but it’s time to turn loose and take some risks again. Life is always a risk. You know that.” He smiled at her and kissed her temple. “And you're not going to throw a damper on my spectacular day. I'm a fatuous male and I'm in love.”
“A fat male?” she teased, suddenly unable to resist him, and he grinned.
“That’s more like it. Let’s call the girls.”
Rebecca smiled and turned to the phone, feeling better and wondering if she was worrying too much. And was she cheating the girls of a man who would be a wonderful father? The thought startled her, and she realized there was a lot more to consider about his offer.
After dinner they cleaned the kitchen together and Rebecca felt the electric tension sparking between them constantly. Every touch now was magnified more than before. Jake was relaxed, flirting easily, trying to charm her.
They sat in the kitchen at dusk, sipping iced tea, when his cellular phone rang. He picked it up, and she moved away to refill their glasses with tea.
“Jake, it’s Werner. If Meskell passed the house today, he wasn’t in a stolen car and we didn’t spot him. The snitch is still in touch with him, and we hope we can give you warning and cordon off the area.”
“Thanks. Nothing happening here.”
Jake replaced the phone as the connection ended and watched Rebecca move around the kitchen and sit down facing him again. He stretched out his leg to rub slowly against hers, and her eyes flickered.
Rebecca sat quietly, but her pulse raced as Jake’s leg rubbed hers sensually. Now just a touch could make her heart pound. She tried to ignore the jump in her pulse, yet she couldn’t move away from him.
“No news on Meskell?”
“None. Enjoy the cool air, because when dark comes, we have to turn the air conditioners off.”
“It seems strange to not have the girls here. But I know they're enjoying themselves. They barely had time to talk on the phone because of something they wanted to do with Sally.”
“Zach and Sally are floating above the earth anyway, over the expected baby.”
“And you really do approve?”
His gaze met hers, and he gave her a level stare. “I do, because they've wanted a child for a long time. Zach has a good job, and they've saved their money. They're adults and should make their own decisions. And it’s nice.”
“I think you've mellowed since I met you.”
He raised the glass of tea in a mock toast. “See what you've done for me.”
“I can’t take credit for your change of heart about Zach and Sally.”
“You can a little. I feel different about the whole world now. Well, almost the whole world.”
She was astounded at the effect she must have on him. How could he change so completely? He would have to be wildly in love, and that thought started fires dancing in her. He looked desirable and handsome, sitting back, his hazel eyes studying her as she looked at him.
His eyes darkened, and he leaned forward and reached for her wrist. “Come here, Rebecca.”
He tugged lightly, and she moved to his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and held her. “When night falls, I need to give security my undivided attention,” he said in a husky voice. “Until then, I want to give you my undivided attention.”
He shifted, turning her so that she was cradled against his shoulder as he leaned forward to kiss her. His mouth opened hers, his tongue meeting hers as she slid her arms around his neck and returned his kiss.
Her heart raced, and heat gathered low in her body, her stomach fluttering as their tongues touched.
She wound her fingers in Jake’s soft hair, thinking that was the only soft thing about him. His body was hard, he was hard. His hands trailed over her breasts, and she moaned, moving against him, everything inside her tightening because she wanted him.
Struggling as if she were coming up from the depths of the sea against a strong current, Rebecca pushed against him and sat up, facing him. “Wait. You have to give me room. We've loved, Jake, and now every touch is explosive. I want you and there’s no denying it, but I don’t want to marry you. I haven’t changed my mind, so just give me some time to think things through.”
She slid off his lap and picked up her glass of tea, walking to the window to look outside, afraid that if she didn’t get away from him he would charm or kiss away her protests within seconds.
He stared at her back solemnly and nodded. “Okay, honey. I'll give you some time to think, but keep in mind what I said. And stop conjuring up the worst scenario. I do a lot of mundane, routine things in my work.”
She turned to give him a look, and he shrugged. “Okay, but I'm careful and I'm not in constant danger.” He stood, and Rebecca’s pulse skittered, because he was so damned appealing. His body was lean and hard and fit. He stretched and drank down the last of the tea, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he finished the drink.
He set the glass on the counter. “I'll go circle the house, check with McCauley, who should be on duty in a few minutes. When I come back in, I'll have to shut off one of the air conditioners.”
She nodded and watched him go out the back door. She saw him pass the window and wondered what he satisfied himself about when he circled the house, because there wasn’t any good place to hide around it. Someone could hide underneath it, but that would do him little good. The house was silent, and she felt alone. She tried to think what it would be like when this was over and the girls were at their lessons and she was home alone.
And she knew it would be dreadful. Which did she want—hours of loneliness or the risk of another incredible heartbreak? As cheerful and optimistic as Jake was about his work, she couldn’t view it that way. She watched his dark head disappear around the corner of the hou
se.
Jake walked around, seeing the bright horizon in the west, the gray-blue sky to the east. To the south a bolt of lightning streaked in a mass of clouds, and he wondered if another storm was blowing in or if it was merely heat lightning. His skin prickled, and an uneasy feeling settled on him.
He frowned, pausing to look over the expanse of yard, the burned rubble of the barn, his pickup and the green car. He retrieved his radio and called McCauley.
“Everything all right so far?”
“Yes, sir,” McCauley answered. “Lowman is on surveillance to the south, and he'll be relieved about midnight.”
“Have you heard any weather report?”
“Yep. Thirty percent chance of rain around here.”
“That means we probably won’t get any. Keep your eyes open.”
“Yes, sir.”
Jake replaced his radio on his belt and stared at the sky to the south, over the tops of the trees. In a few minutes he saw another streak of lightning and the massive thunderheads. He glanced at the house, wondering about Rebecca and if he was going to lose her. Just thinking about it hurt. He wanted to go inside and pull her into his arms and kiss away her protests.
He looked over the road and trees, knowing Meskell’s next move was overdue. His skin prickled again and he wondered whether it was some atavistic gut instinct or just the weather that was giving him the jitters.
He opened the door. He wouldn’t take her to bed against her wishes, but he was going to kiss her again a few times tonight, and he suspected her objections would be short-lived.
Jake closed and locked the kitchen door. “Time to close the house!” he called. Silence came and he turned around, his skin prickling as he yanked out his gun. “Rebecca!”
“Yes?” she answered, coming out of her bedroom and smiling at him, and he relaxed, but the moment she saw the pistol, her smile faded.
“What is it, Jake?”
“You didn’t answer me.”
“Sorry. I didn’t hear you,” she said as he put the gun in his jeans. He wanted to swear at himself, because she had been smiling and cheerful and now a frown was back.