by Melissa Haag
I turned my head and saw the grey wisps of the Others dancing around her reclined form. She still leaned against her Mate, Luke. I envied her that connection.
“Well, in a past dream,” she said. “Not this one, though. We’re all together now. Instead of showing me what we need to do, she showed me one of your past lives. Do you know how many times you were left in the woods to die? I wanted to bitch-slap that last mom. She gave birth to you twice. Both times she took one look at you and brought you to the trees. Same damn spot. Your bones were still there from the first time. I had to feel your loneliness, hunger, and fear twice.”
Those were the very same emotions I struggled not to feel in this lifetime. My stomach growled, as if my body had heard that brief thought and took it as permission to react.
“I’m sorry,” I said, apologizing for the dreams and my stomach.
“When did you last eat?” Winifred asked.
“Several hours ago.” I didn’t clarify that it only had been a few pretzels and a candy bar the day before that.
Winifred bent to grab something. I listened to a slight rustling before she extended her arm toward me. I held out my hand and felt the smooth wrapper around some type of snack bar.
“Thank you,” I said.
“How long was I out this time?” Bethi asked as I unwrapped the food and took a hungry bite.
“Not long,” Luke said. “Maybe thirty minutes.”
She groaned, and he kissed her temple.
I looked out the window again while I chewed. The budding regret, loneliness, and appeased hunger died quickly under my focus.
“Do we know where we’re going yet?” Bethi asked.
“No,” Gabby said. “I’m just trying to keep the Urbat from finding us.”
“When you find somewhere that looks safe,” Bethi said, “we need to stop and talk with the other three Judgements. If what Olivia is saying is true, I want us to make up our minds so we can move on to the Judging part. I’m way past ready to be done with this crap.”
A small, neglected part of me cowered at the thought of making the final decision. Yet, I understood better than the rest the need for one. And, the faster, the better.
I swallowed my bite of the snack bar and quietly took another.
Four
HENRY…
Dad sat in the back with Aden while Liam and I took up the middle seat. Paul sat in front with Jim, who drove in a tense silence, likely communicating with the other Elders about where we needed to go next. Wherever they wanted us to go, I hoped getting there wouldn’t take too long.
Grief still clawed at my insides, threatening to rip apart my composure. I couldn’t let that happen. Not with Liam sitting next to me. The way Paul bounced his knee told me he was barely holding it together, too.
How could they just kill Mom like that? A female, no matter what age, mattered. Females were supposed to be protected at all costs. All werewolves knew that. Yet, the males who’d killed her weren’t werewolves. My hatred for the Urbat boiled just beneath the surface of my skin, where I felt the change ripple. I swallowed hard, struggling to maintain my hold on the shift.
Liam reached out, his little hand closing around my fingers. He didn’t say anything, just leaned against me, seeking comfort. The change receded, and I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and pulled him close.
I wanted to tell him everything would be okay, that the Urbat wouldn’t find us again, but I didn’t think it would be true. Not anymore. The fact that Jim hadn’t tried to reassure us meant he felt the same uncertainty. What hope did we have when the Elders didn’t even believe we’d pull through this? I thought of Gabby and hoped the others were doing better than we were. That everything they’d done had served its purpose. Otherwise, what was the point of telling the humans about our existence?
I’m so sorry, Henry. Mom’s voice echoed in my mind. Find a mate and be happy.
I didn’t see how either of those things would be possible now. And, not just because of Mom’s death. In the days since the revelation of the existence of werewolves and Urbat, the world had changed drastically. Any smart, unmated female would hide deep in the woods, away from all men. What future could any male offer a female at this point? A life of running and hiding? A life that would end in a tragic death under the branches of an old tree?
Facing the window, I tried to stop thinking about Mom and all the times she’d kissed me or hugged me. The times she’d yelled at me for doing something stupid. The way she’d watched me when she thought I wasn’t looking.
Be happy.
The harder I tried not to think about her, the more the memories pushed their way to the surface. Even at her angriest with him, no one could have ever doubted Mom’s love for Dad. Or his love for her. Every male craved a mate. The need seemed embedded in our very bones. And, that need warred with fear. Against everything I was raised to think and believe, I hoped I wouldn’t find a mate like Mom had told me to.
“I hear you,” Jim said, startling me. Had I accidently sent him my thoughts? I still wasn’t used to the idea of Jim being an Elder.
“When did you last eat, little man?” he asked, using the mirror to glance not at me but Aden.
“I dunno,” the cub said in a subdued tone. His stomach growled loudly, and I realized that was what Jim had heard.
“We’d missed lunch,” I said.
“We need to drive a little longer, but I’ll stop and get you something as soon as we can. What about you, Liam? Ready for a burger?”
“No, thank you.” Liam’s sad voice stirred my clawing grief again.
“I know you’re sad, buddy, but your Aunt Mary wouldn’t want you to be. She loved you, all of you, very much. Seeing you sad would have made her sad.”
Jim’s words, meant to help, only made me hurt more.
Liam nodded against me, acknowledging Jim but remaining silent. His response, however, reminded me that his and Aden’s young lives had a lot more grief in them than mine. Even now. Paul and I both knew their history. Abused and alone, with only Michelle for company, they’d escaped and found Emmitt. They’d only had a few months of peace before everything went to hell for them again.
Mom, Dad, and the rest had tried shielding the cubs from what was happening. But those boys were smart. Their fear told me they understood more than the adults wanted them to.
I tightened my hold on Liam, hugging him close.
“Don’t fear what might happen. Fear stops us from living,” I said softly. “And Mom wants us all to live.”
I put aside my fear of finding a mate and focused on the drive. We’d passed several towns since Jim “acquired” the rusted minivan. Traffic picked up as the sun hovered just over the tree line. If the mutts weren’t already tailing us, I doubted they’d be able to pick up our trail anymore.
Jim drove straight through town and turned into the drive-through of a fast food place.
“Listen close, Aden,” he said, rolling down his window.
“Hello. My name is Ashley. Can I take your order?”
“Hi, Ashley. I’d like twenty-three cheeseburgers.”
A moment of silence greeted his order.
“Did you say twenty-three cheeseburgers?” the woman asked.
Aden giggled from the back.
“Yes, ma’am. You better make that twenty-six. I’m pretty hungry. Four teas. Sweet, if you have it. And twelve regular fries.”
“Um…that’s going to take us a few minutes.”
“Then, I better order two ice cream cones to hold us over while we wait.”
“Uh, okay.”
Paul shook his head, grinning slightly. I couldn’t help but grin, too. No doubt Jim’s order had sent the kitchen into a state of panic.
She gave him his total, and when he pulled ahead to pay, she had the two cones ready. He turned in his seat and held up the first cone for Paul’s inspection.
“I don’t know…” Jim said. “Liam’s not that hungry, and this seems like a lot.” He op
ened his mouth and devoured the top of the cone in a single bite before handing it back to an open-mouthed Liam.
“What about you, Aden? You hungry?”
“Yes!”
Jim chuckled and handed the cone back without taking any.
The fear that had flooded the vehicle dissipated enough that the scent of Dad’s sorrow became clear. My humor fled, and I turned in my seat to look back at him as he helped Aden turn his cone.
“I’m fine, Henry,” Dad said softly, without looking up at me. “Not all sorrow is bad.”
I didn’t see how that could be true, but didn’t argue. Jim pulled ahead to a spot to wait for the food and started teasing Liam about eating the rest of his cone.
“Do we know where we’re going yet?” I asked.
“Nah,” he said. “We’re going to wing it for a bit. A road trip, right Liam?”
The boy nodded and crunched into the top part of his cone.
Seriously, I sent Jim. Where are we going?
We’re headed toward Salt Lake. Big city so we can disappear until we’re ready.
Jim’s gaze shifted from Liam to me.
I am sorry about your mom.
I know. I didn’t blame Jim for arriving too late. The blame lay with the Urbat and their crazy-ass leader, Blake. The same lunatic who’d held Michelle and her brothers for years.
When we find Blake, we’ll make him pay for what happened.
That we will, Jim sent back grimly.
JIM…
Winifred’s thoughts cut into my contemplation of what I would like to do to Blake for everything he’d done to Michelle, the rest of the girls, and all the males in this car.
Why have you stopped moving? She sent me.
Aden is starving and everyone needed a minute to think of something other than death.
I understand, but you need to keep moving. Gabby says there are several Urbat nearby. I’m worried.
We’re in the car at a fast food place. Lots of exhaust to cover up our scent. As soon as we get our order, we’re heading south like we agreed. How are things looking for you? How are Mom and Michelle?
Everyone’s fine. You just worry about keeping your group safe, and we’ll keep everyone here safe.
Someone tapped on my window. I turned toward a woman and teen boy who carried several bags of food and a cardboard tray of drinks. With a grin I didn’t feel, I rolled down the window.
“Thank you. The little guy in back was about to starve.” I winked at the woman so she’d know I was joking and started accepting the bags and handing them off to Paul.
“We’re sorry about the wait,” the woman said, handing over the drink tray.
“Don’t worry about it. Thanks for the food.”
Jim! Get out of there now.
The fear and command in Winifred’s message had me shoving the drinks toward Paul and grabbing the wheel. I slammed the vehicle into reverse and twisted in my seat to see behind me. However, my foot never descended onto the gas pedal.
A group of seven males, directly behind us, stopped me. They’d made little attempt to blend. Ragged, dirty clothes covered them, but the threadbare material would have never kept a normal human warm.
The woman still beside the window made a small noise, also seeing the mongrels that held my attention.
The lead man smiled slowly, showing his elongated canines.
They’ve found us, I sent Winifred as I slammed down on the gas.
The tires squealed, and we shot backward. The woman screamed, she and the boy still not moving.
“Run,” I yelled to them.
The mutts scattered, jumping out of my way. They didn’t go far though. With snarls and curses, some partially shifted.
I cranked the wheel as I reversed, listening to claws screech against metal. Aden whimpered. Shouting erupted from the nearby humans, spilling from the restaurant.
Slamming on the breaks, I shifted to drive. The glass behind Gregory shattered and curled forward in a webbed sheet. Furred hands reached for Aden.
Gregory’s gaze met mine in the rearview mirror. Angry knowing lit his eyes. He growled, and his own claws erupted.
We needed to get out of here, but people ran in every direction. My foot hesitated on the pedal. Save their lives or those of the cubs. I glanced in the mirror again. Gregory swiped at the mutts then used his nails to cut Aden’s seatbelt.
“Henry,” he called, throwing the boy forward. The cub’s eyes were wide and panicked.
I gunned it forward as Henry caught Aden and curled protectively around both cubs. A man yelled and dove out of my way, and I jerked the wheel to the right, avoiding the back end of the nearest car trying to escape the chaos.
Cackling laughter exploded from the back. I looked up at the mirror in time to see arms grip Gregory’s shoulders.
Don’t stop, he sent me. Keep them all safe.
With a heave, several of the mutts pulled Gregory from the back as we swerved out of the parking lot and onto the main road.
“Dad!” Paul yelled from beside me, proof he’d witnessed what had just happened.
I checked the mirror again as I wove in and out of traffic. Gregory fought five of them in the middle of the road. Two sprinted after us, their paws eating up the distance.
“Keep hold of those cubs,” I said to Henry.
Giving the van more gas, I ignored the distant wailing sirens, the sound of Paul begging me to turn around, and Liam and Aden’s soft whimpers. Cars honked and veered out of my way. One of the mutts jumped on top of the roof of an old beetle, using it as a springboard to launch himself at us. He just missed the back end of our van, his claws scraping briefly on metal then nothing as he fell to the road and rolled in a heap of fur.
The second mutt trailed us persistently to the edge of town. Then he veered off the road and disappeared into the sparse trees separating one business from another. The sound of a helicopter overhead sent my heart racing.
The south is clear, Winifred sent, interrupting my thoughts. Head south.
They shifted in the open, calling attention to all of us. There’s a helicopter in the air now. I’m not sure if it’s following us or trying to track the Urbat. The back window is broken out. We’re too easy to identify from the ground and air. I need to change vehicles.
Do what needs to be done.
I turned onto the next street I found and parked the car.
“Everyone out,” I said.
“Are we going back?” Paul asked, opening his door and moving to grab Aden from the middle.
I grabbed their bags from the back and tossed them each one without answering.
“You know we can’t,” Henry said.
Both boys—men—looked down at the cubs.
“We need to move, now,” I said, my eyes on the sky while I listened to the approaching sirens and closed the back of the van. “Cut through this yard to the next block over. No fur. As soon as we’re on the next block, hold hands with the cubs and walk like nothing’s happened.”
They listened then responded immediately. One block over, a helicopter flew overhead, speeding in the direction we’d been headed.
“Don’t hurry,” I said softly.
We continued walking, cutting another block west. A car idled on the sidewalk.
“This one?” Paul asked.
“No. It’ll be reported missing too quickly.”
Three houses down, I saw a paper still on the front stoop. After we passed the house, I told the boys to keep walking and ducked in between yards, circling around to break into the garage. The older car looked brand new. It didn’t take me long to start it up and quickly back out of the garage. Hopefully, the owner wouldn’t notice it missing for a long while.
Catching up with the boys, I pulled over so they could pile in. Liam helped Aden buckle as I pulled away from the curb.
“Are we going back for Uncle Gregory?” Liam asked.
“No, buddy. He doesn’t want us to,” I said.
Is he sti
ll alive? Henry sent me. I allowed myself to focus on where Gregory’s link should be in my mind. Its presence was only a small relief. We’d left him surrounded by Urbat and exposed to humans. If the first group didn’t kill him, the other would likely take him and—I couldn’t finish that thought.
Where should we meet you? I sent Gregory. I waited several long minutes before I understood there would be no response.
He’s alive, but not answering, I sent back to Henry.
We can’t risk going back for him.
No, we can’t.
His maturity saddened me. Too much, too young. Paul sat in the front. He’d said nothing since getting in. Soft traces of anger laced his scent. Mostly, though, I smelled his grief.
“I’m sorry, Paul.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s but the mutt who wants power at any cost. He won’t win.”
I agreed with his last, growled sentiment.
The distant sound of the helicopter grew louder before fading again. We headed out of town, my thoughts on Mary and Gregory and the boys they’d left behind.
Blake wouldn’t win. We would make sure of that. But at what cost? Would there be any werewolves left in the end?
We’re in a new vehicle. I sent to Winifred. Does it seem like anyone is following us?
After a moment, she answered.
Gabby said that no one seems to be following you.
There was a moment of silence where I could feel her worry and sorrow.
Who did you leave behind?
Gregory.
How many will we lose before this ends? she sent, echoing my thoughts.
Five
OLIVIA…
The tense silence remained after Gabby’s announcement that Jim was clear of the Urbat but that Gregory was no longer with them. Whoever Jim and Gregory were, they seemed pretty important given the group’s reaction.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” I said softly to Winifred, masking the pity and sorrow I wanted to feel.
“Thank you,” Winifred said. “Gabby, if it’s safe, can you find us a place where we can stop for the night?”
“Sure,” Gabby said. “There’s a town a ways to the south that looks good. Maybe another hour or two. I’ll text Michelle.”