by Penny Jordan
Nicholas shrugged his shoulders and said defeatedly, ‘She won’t even listen to me any more. She keeps on threatening to leave me and take the boys. She creates these terrible scenes, and simply won’t listen to anything I have to say. She’s always been highly strung. I’ve tried suggesting to her that she ought to see a doctor. She had a breakdown when her mother was killed, and I’m very much afraid…’
Tania frowned. Could it be that there was rather more to Clarissa’s behaviour than simply the selfishness of a spoilt child-woman who was used to having her every whim indulged?
‘Have you spoken to James about this?’ she asked Nicholas in some concern. Privately she considered that if Clarissa was suffering from some kind of emotional maladjustment, as she might well be, then Nicholas’s trying to deal with it by pretending to be having an affair with another woman was hardly a sensible thing to do, but then it was her belief that the male sex rarely understood the female, and men were notoriously reluctant to deal with any problems that involved emotions, either their own or someone else’s.
‘Oh, he always sides with Clarissa, no matter what I say,’ Nicholas told her moodily. ‘He’d probably just think I was trying to put her down, and, of course, she’s always as sweet as sugar when James is there.’
Tania made a wry face. Sweet as sugar wasn’t exactly how she would have described Clarissa’s behaviour on Saturday.
‘But, Nicholas,’ she pressed, ‘have you considered that she might be quite seriously ill, and if she’s already suffered one breakdown…’
‘I’ve tried to tell her as much but every time I raise the subject she flies off the handle and accuses me of trying to get rid of her, of wanting to have her locked up in a mental asylum. The whole situation is getting completely out of control. I just do not know where to turn any more. I’m even beginning to wonder if it’s me… If I’m the one causing her problems, if she wouldn’t be better off without me.’
Tania’s frown deepened. She was beginning to recognise that Nicholas, while essentially a pleasant enough man, was, in his own way, perhaps just as spoiled as his wife. Like a small child, he was perhaps punishing her because she was not giving him the amount of love and attention he felt she should. Both of them should perhaps have married far stronger characters, people who were capable of coping with their insecurities and vulnerability, people with the strength to cosset and carry them. She could never, for instance, imagine a man like James Warren reacting to Clarissa’s apparent unreasonableness in the way that Nicholas was doing. Perhaps after all it was no wonder that Clarissa turned so often from her husband to her stepbrother.
‘You have two children,’ she pointed out softly to Nicholas now. ‘And they need you, both of you. If you can’t persuade Clarissa to see a doctor yourself, Nicholas, then I really think you should try to takes James into your confidence. And while you’re at it will you please tell him that you and I are not having an affair?’ she added in a low voice.
Lucy, who was sitting on the window-seat with her book, suddenly raised her head and announced, ‘Mum, there’s a huge car parked outside, and the man’s coming into the shop.’
Tania went over to the window to look outside. Nicholas joined her.
‘Hell,’ he swore under his breath. ‘That’s James’s car. What on earth is he doing here?’
As she stared at the immaculate dark blue Jaguar without really seeing it, Tania felt her stomach muscles clenching in a fierce protest.
Had he come to see just how she was reacting to his threats? To admit that he was responsible for the damage to her shop? Or perhaps even to issue further threats, to harass and terrorise her even further? It would have served him right if she had told the police about him, she reflected bitterly. But then they were hardly likely to have believed her. Why on earth would such an important and well thought of local businessman arrange for someone to smash the shop window of someone as insignificant as herself? No… It wouldn’t have done the slightest good.
Even so.
‘I’d better go down and see what he wants,’ she began, only to stop when they heard the imperious rap on her sitting-room door.
When she opened it the look he gave her made her blood run cold. The eye contact between them was antagonistic and bitter, and Tania hated the way he made her look away first, her face flooding with colour as he stepped past her and said with cold evenness, ‘Nicholas, I thought I saw your car outside. Thinking of leaving us, Ms Carter?’ he asked her with an effrontery that strangled her protests before she could utter them. ‘A wise decision. Presumably Nicholas is here in his capacity as your legal adviser?’
Nicholas frowned at his brother-in-law.
‘I’m not here in any business capacity, James. I’d heard about the break-in and naturally I called to see if Tania was OK.’
‘Naturally?’ The dark eyebrows rose, the hard mouth twisting contemptuously as James Warren looked from Nicholas’s stubborn face to Tania’s flushed, angry one. ‘Very thoughtful of you, I’m sure, but, since you must by now have reassured yourself that Ms Carter hasn’t suffered any after-effects from what was after all little more than an excess of youthful high spirits, perhaps you might care to remember that you promised to take Clarissa and the boys into Chester for lunch.’
‘Oh, my God! Yes… I’d forgotten. I’ll have to go, I’m afraid, Tania.’
He reached for her hand, but instead of shaking it as Tania had expected, he cupped it in both of his in a far more intimate gesture than she had expected.
Impossible to stop herself from glancing sideways to see how James was reacting to his brother-in-law’s intimate tenderness. The hard, dangerous look he gave her made her tremble. She fought against the cowardly impulse to open her mouth and tell him that he was wrong, that it wasn’t what he thought…that it wasn’t even what she wanted, but stubbornness and pride held her silent, making her give Nicholas a far more tender smile than she would otherwise have done.
Anxious not to be left alone with James so that he could repeat his threats or insult her still further, she determinedly walked downstairs with Nicholas, so that James was left with no alternative but to accompany them. In the noisy shop, ringing with the sound of the men repairing the window, she said firmly, ‘It was kind of you to call, Nicholas. I hope you enjoy your lunch,’ and then immediately turned to James and said coldly, ‘Now that you’ve got what you came for, Mr Warren, I’m sure there’s no reason for you to stay.’
She could tell that he was angry with her from the dark glitter in his eyes, and, as Nicholas turned away from her, he stood in front of her so that Nicholas couldn’t see his expression or overhear what he was saying and told her icily, ‘You may think you’re being very clever, but try thinking about this. It isn’t just my sister you’re hurting. You know that she and Nicholas have two children, who need them both.’
She was angry enough to be reckless, temper running through her veins like Greek fire as she snapped back.
‘Oh, really? Well, according to local gossip, they’re hardly likely to miss their father, not when they have such a devoted and caring uncle to turn to! No one dictates to me how I run my life. No one!’
She might have gone on to tell him what she thought of his cruel plans to ruin her business and frighten her away from the area, but Nicholas had turned round and was watching them both, patently waiting for James to join him.
Halfway back up the stairs she had to rest because her legs were shaking so much.
This had got to stop. Somehow she had to find a way of ensuring that Nicholas not only told his brother-in-law the truth, but also made sure that he accepted it.
It was no use her saying anything, nor prompting Nicholas in James’s presence. It was patently obvious that he wouldn’t believe her.
But she could not go on like this for much longer. Her nerves were already overstrained as it was!
CHAPTER SIX
DESPITE her fears that the broken shop window would put off potential customers, T
ania discovered that news of the attempted break-in prompted an increase in business through people calling in both out of curiosity and in genuine concern, and by the time the window was replaced later in the week she was able to confide to Ann, who had phoned her for a chat, that her first few days of business had proved so busy that she had had to ring some of her suppliers to request urgent replacement stock.
‘And this is only the start,’ Ann promised her. ‘You wait and see. It’s my belief that people are gradually turning away from the kind of shopping which involves all the stress involved in dragging their kids around huge soulless shopping centres. It’s all part of the nostalgia for the past and the need to return to a more natural way of life. We find we’re getting more and more customers who say they can’t stand another fraught trip round some vast superstore where they can’t find what they want and when they do paying for it involves an exasperating wait at a supermarket-style checkout.
‘Which reminds me, I wanted to ask you if you’d put away a couple of pairs of those American-style baseball boots for the boys. I want to put them in their Christmas stockings. Susan has informed me that she wants to learn tap-dancing, if you please, so it will have to be tap shoes for her.
‘The police haven’t been back to you to say if they’ve found out who broke your window?’
‘No,’ Tania told her. ‘I don’t think they will be, either.’
‘Well, I doubt that it will happen again. Not now that the perpetrator realises how well you’re alarmed,’ Ann told her comfortingly.
Tania said nothing. She wasn’t sure that the presence of any alarm system, no matter how sophisticated, would deter the person she believed was really responsible. Neither had the object of the exercise been to steal from her. At least not in a material sense. To steal away her peace of mind, her security, and perhaps ultimately even her self-respect, yes; she could believe James Warren to be guilty of those crimes.
She shivered a little as she replaced the telephone receiver.
Soon it would be time for Tania and Ann to fetch Lucy home from school. It seemed so unfair to Tania that through no fault of her own she should be suffering this heavy burden of apprehension and dread, especially when Lucy had settled down so well to their new life.
She was full of bright chatter about her new school. Tania had no wish to push her daughter into academic success but there was no doubt that a good education, good qualifications were essential these days if one wanted a well-paid career. From her own experience she knew how important it was that a woman could support herself financially. She had no wish for Lucy to fall into the dangerous trap of becoming dependent on a man or a relationship to the detriment of her own self-worth and independence.
If her business continued in its present fashion, she would have to seriously consider taking on part-time staff, and maybe not merely a girl to help on Saturdays, but someone whom she could leave in charge of the shop occasionally during the week, so that she could attend the various trade fairs and do her buying.
She had just finished serving a pleasant girl with a toddler just ready for her first pair of proper shoes when the shop bell rang again.
She looked up with a smile that faded to sharp apprehension as she saw Clarissa Forbes walking into the shop. This time she was alone and a brief glance outside assured Tania that her intimidating stepbrother was thankfully nowhere in sight.
‘Clarissa,’ Tania welcomed her, firmly determined not to give her any reason to reinforce her idiotic belief that Tania was having an affair with her husband.
However, the moment she spoke to her, Clarissa went white with fury and spat viciously at Tania, ‘Oh, yes, you go ahead and smile, but you won’t be smiling for much longer. If you think I’m simply going to stand aside and let you walk off with my husband, you’ll soon discover that you’re wrong. Nicholas is mine and I don’t intend to give him up to you or anyone else.’
Tania stared at her, quickly taking in her dilated eyes and aggressive pose. Tension emanated from her too-thin body, and her facial muscles were rigid with the intensity of her emotions.
‘Clarissa, please calm down. You’ve got it all wrong. Nicholas and I are not having an affair.’
‘Don’t lie to me. That’s what Nicky tried to do, but I know the truth. You both might pretend that it’s over between you, but I know it isn’t. When did it start? When you first came here, or was it before that? Did he meet you before you even moved here? Did the two of you plan the whole thing? That you would move here?
‘Well, if you think that I’m just going to stand by and let you walk off with my husband, you’ll soon discover just how wrong you are.’
Recognising the growing signs of impending hysteria, Tania attempted to calm her down, frightened now not on her own account so much as on Clarissa’s. The other woman was plainly under an intense emotional strain, and as she tried to interrupt her Tania felt a flash of fierce irritation and anger against both Nicholas and James. Surely one of them must have the wit to see that Clarissa wasn’t entirely well?
‘Clarissa, please, you’ve got all this wrong. Talk to Nicholas. Let him explain to you, I promise you that I am not and never have had an affair with him. Look, why don’t I ring Nicholas now and—?’
‘No! I don’t want him here, but you do, don’t you? You want him to send me away so that you can be alone with him. Well, I’m not going to let you destroy my marriage, and if you don’t give him up I’ll make you sorry you were ever born,’ she threatened dramatically before turning on her heel and storming out of the shop before Tania could restrain her.
After she had gone Tania stared at the phone, gnawing indecisively at her bottom lip, wondering whether she ought to ring Nicholas and warn him what had happened. But then might not Clarissa take that as further proof that they were having an affair should she find out about it?
Her own inner sense of responsibility made her feel that there must be something she could do to help the other woman who so plainly did need some kind of help. Tania had gone beyond feeling irritated resentment towards her now. That anger and resentment had given way to concern.
‘Something on your mind?’ Ann asked her later when they were walking the girls back from school.
Briefly Tania explained what had happened.
‘Mm… And you think she’s suffering from some kind of depression or something?’
‘Well, it could be, or it could be something deeper, something perhaps associated with the death of her mother and James’s father. She’s obviously emotionally very highly strung. In some ways it’s almost as though she wants to believe that Nicholas and I are having an affair.’
‘Mm. She probably realises she’s over-reacting, and in some way insisting on believing Nick is being unfaithful to her gives her a logical justification for her behaviour. I’m surprised James hasn’t realised what’s happening, but then he’s been away such a lot this year. The electronics company he owns does a lot of business with the States and he’s been over there for months at a time setting up some new deal or other.
‘I heard on the grapevine the other day that his new contract with the Americans has been signed now, and that he should be home far more often in future. Maybe he’ll realise what’s going on…’
‘I doubt it,’ Tania told her grittily. ‘Like his stepsister, he seems determined to blame me.’
‘It’s really unlike him to react like that. Perhaps he secretly fancies you himself,’ Ann teased her, ‘and he’s jealous of Nick’s supposed involvement with you.’
Tania forced herself to laugh, but inside she was desperately aware of the unwanted twist of sensation Ann’s light-hearted comment had brought.
Oh, God, she thought shakily as she and Ann parted company, please don’t let that happen… Why, after all these years of being completely indifferent to the male sex, should she go and find herself so dangerously aware of the one man who was most unlikely to reciprocate the fiercely pagan emotions seizing her? Was it because she kne
w that there could be no question of him sharing her desire that she had allowed these feelings to spring up inside her? Because she knew there was no possibility, no danger of her ever becoming either emotionally or physically involved with him, because in some perverse way it was safe for her to desire him, rather in the same way that a teenager desired a pop star? They were thoughts she did not wish to pursue.
* * *
Tomorrow would be her second Saturday with the shop. She couldn’t expect business to be as brisk as it had been last week, but nevertheless it was with a mingled feeling of anxiety and elation that she got up the following morning.
She had arranged that Ann’s niece, Peggy, would come in for a couple of hours at lunchtime to give her a break, and Ann had very generously insisted that Lucy spend the morning and the afternoon with them, responding cheerfully when Tania had protested that she was imposing far too much on her kindness.
‘Nonsense, there’ll come a time when you’ll be able to do something similar for me.’
‘Well, I hope so. But please send Lucy home at lunchtime. She’s had more than enough free meals with you…’
‘I will,’ Ann promised her. ‘Twelve o’clock sharp she shall be despatched home.’
‘I’ll come and meet her. I know it’s only a few doors away, but even so.’
At five to twelve, just as Tania was about to put on her jacket and hand over to Peggy, a customer walked into the shop accompanied by a pair of twins and two older children, all of them boys.
When she announced that she needed shoes for all of them, Tania felt that it would be unfair to expect Peggy to deal with them, and, removing her jacket, said smilingly that she would do what she could to help.
In the end it was almost a quarter to one before all four children were satisfactorily shod.