by Kara Griffin
Laird Fraser agreed.
Heath mounted his horse. He despaired at the thought his vow to God would never come to fruition. As much as he enjoyed being with Lillia, he didn’t want to cause her more hardships. And with the path his life had taken in the recent years, he’d make her miserable. His denial of what was to come finally ceased. He would take a wife regardless of his wants.
Brodin rode next to him. “I recognize that look you’re wearing. ‘Tis the same as what Graeme and Liam wore when they accepted their wives. Aye, your legs be a wee bit shoogly? You’re thinking it might too difficult are ye not?”
Liam laughed. “Aye, he’s got shaky legs all right. Heath, the lass is winsome. Almost as bonny as my Makenna. You’re fortunate and should be pleased by this turn of event.”
“Were you?”
His friend chortled. “Not at first, but now … I’m content, nay downright merry.”
Graeme peered at him and said, “Being married does have its benefits.”
Brodin scoffed. “Benefits that can be attained elsewhere.”
Both Liam and Graeme bellowed. Graeme said, “Aye? A wife warms your bed and your heart. I wouldn’t have my sweet William or another bairn on the way without her.”
Brodin shrugged his shoulder. “Being a father has softened you.”
“No softened, but made me more protective.” Graeme looked them firmly in the eyes as he admitted what he likely wouldn’t confess to anyone else.
Liam grinned and nodded. “Aye and all those trivial things that need tending are seen to. I never had someone sew my tunics, launder my garments. It’s tireless work and Makenna never complains.”
Brodin snorted. “To you she doesn’t.”
The men shared a laugh and Graeme waved him forward. “Let us on to your wedding.”
His wedding. There was nothing to do but resign himself. As they rode home, Heath left the watch to his comrades. All he could reason was that his life was about to become far more interesting. He swallowed hard never discerning he’d do what he was about to do.
Chapter Thirteen
Lillia listened intently as Gilroy explained his duties. She’d never been allowed near the stables at home and was fascinated at the extent of the animal’s upkeep.
“M’lords keep good care of their steeds. They insist they be looked over at least once a day.”
“Looked over for what?” She sat upon a wooden trunk which held the tools of Gilroy’s trade: shoes, old harnesses, currycombs, and buckles. Behind her stood the sickle used for cutting high grasses he fed to the beasts, and a pitchfork he used to clean out the stalls.
He explained with patience what the items were and their use. “We check to ensure they didn’t incur injury when last out, their hooves are free of debris, and their coats free of pests. M’lords paid an excessive price for their horses and they take pride in owning them.”
“Mayhap they are a mite obsessed? They’re just horses used to get from one place to another.” She laughed at her jest. “Can I be of help? I wish to learn.”
“A horse is the most important thing a knight or soldier possesses. The horses are of great value, m’lady. Without them, they couldn’t travel or take part in some of the battles where mainly horses are used. Aye, come, I’ll show you what to do.” He handed her a currycomb, a dull-bladed instrument used for cleaning the horse’s coat. “Brush along his coat in the same path to smooth it.”
Lillia did as he directed and she was gladdened for the chores. She’d hoped he would occupy her so she wouldn’t continually think of her brother’s trek home. Not only was her brother’s journey on her mind, but she missed Heath and hoped he returned soon.
“Someone comes. Get behind the stall, m’lady.” Gilroy reached for a pitchfork and stood at the ready.
She dropped the brush and hastened behind the stall. The king’s guard came and their voices filled with mirth as they entered.
Gilroy was about to greet them, but she pulled him back and gestured to him to be quiet. The men led their steeds into the stalls.
Liam laughed and rounded his horse. “Best go see to the chore, Heath. There’s no reason to dally. The longer you do, the more fearsome you’ll be.”
The rest of the men laughed. Lillia wanted to hear what they found comical and what Heath was fearful of and placed a finger on her lips to indicate Gilroy keep quiet.
Brodin chuckled. “Aye, might as well get the noose fastened nice tight whilst you can.”
Graeme smirked and Lillia raised both brows in wonderment for their leader wasn’t one to laugh openly. What chore did they refer to? Perplexed, she continued to listen.
Graeme said, “If ye ask me the lass is fortunate if you wed her. It’s better than being ill-treated by the Comyns or imprisoned by Robert.”
Brodin scoffed. “Your hands will never be free again, Heath, once their tied. At least you somewhat like her.”
Liam snorted a laugh. “Aye, but she’s more akin to a sister than a sweetheart.”
Graeme bellowed a laugh. “He wasn’t acting brotherly when I found him naked in your cave, Liam. Nay, she’s his sweetheart all right.”
Heath threw up his hands. “Enough jesting. Lillia is as far from a sister as can be. She’ll agree to wed me. Damnation, she better.”
The ossuary became quiet as they left. Lillia rose and watched their exit. She pursed her lips and found their banter distasteful, it certainly left her mouth dry. He wanted to wed her … for all the wrong reasons.
“M’lady, go. I’ll see to the horses.”
She did as Gilroy requested and ventured out of the ossuary, but she stayed away from the main cave. Avoiding Heath was foremost in her mind, especially since she wasn’t ready to face him with her answer.
After a good tromping about, it became too cold to stay outside. Lillia forgot to bring a shawl or anything to keep warm. She hadn’t intended to stay out in the cold for long. Avoiding Heath took longer than she’d hoped. What did she expect? Him to leave the caves again?
She peered ahead and noticed him watching her from the cave entrance. He stood near the thick vines that protected the entry from wind, leaning casually against the rock with his arms folded. He didn’t appear angry or pleased.
Lillia drew a resigned breath and approached. “Heath, you returned. Did my brothers arrive safely and unharmed?”
“They did. Your father was at my keep when we arrived and he took them home straightaway. Where were you? I’ve been home for hours. Gilroy said you went for a walk. I was about to come after you.”
“Aye, that’s what I was doing. I do like to walk about the meadow. Has Mistress Annag prepared supper? I’m famished.” She tried to move past him, but he blocked her entry.
“It’s on the table. Everyone ate already, but she saved you a trencher. Are you avoiding me?” He frowned as if he found his question displeasing.
She shook her head and hurried past him in her haste to get to the table. All sat about the cave, quietly conversing. Lillia wouldn’t look one of them in the eye. She sat and pulled the trencher forward, taking a moment to smell the delicious fare Annag made.
Heath sat next to her. “Are you not curious?”
She spooned in the thick stew, hoping to avoid his questions.
When she didn’t answer, he asked again, “Do you not want to ken?”
“About what?”
“I told ye I wanted to speak with you when I returned.”
“Oh, that. Did you? I had forgotten about that.” She stuffed her mouth with a large piece of boar meat and took her time chewing it. Thankfully it was a fatty piece that would require a few minutes of keeping her mouth closed.
Heath shuffled his chair closer. She almost drew away, but he appeared too handsome with the candle light shining on his hair. A warm glow lit the manly confines of his face. Lillia’s heart ached because at that moment all she wanted to do was touch him. A sorrowful mien struck her and she wanted to weep. She’d adored him for so long and n
ow she might gain her heart’s desire. Yet, it was wrong. Lillia didn’t want a husband who wed her out of pity. She wanted him to love her as she loved him—with his whole heart.
“Lillia, I gather you’re saddened by your brothers’ return home. Is that what’s bothering you? You seem troubled.”
She shook her head, but wouldn’t voice her worry. He wouldn’t understand.
“On the morrow, we will travel to the abbey and wed.”
His announcement took her by surprise. Not the words, but the heartless way he’d spoken them. He didn’t ask, but commanded.
She had no choice but to reject him, especially after the callous way he’d presented her with the idea. Had he any chivalry? Apparently at the moment, none whatsoever. “I shan’t wed you, Heath.”
“You must.”
“I won’t.”
“It’s the only way I can protect you. Think you the Comyns will give up in their pursuit? Think the king will rejoice when he learns there is someone who has more rights to the kingdom than he? Think you your father will renounce the betrothal he set?”
She shook her head. “Those reasons are well and good, but not enough cause to sacrifice yourself on the matrimonial altar. Nay, I will not wed you.” Lillia pushed away the trencher, no long able to stomach the foodstuffs she’d been keen on eating. “Good night.” She left him sitting at the table and hastened to his pallet behind the tall screens.
Lillia undressed and hurriedly slid beneath the covers. She closed her eyes and prayed Heath would stay away. The likelihood of her resisting him was nil for she loved him. His touch would cause her will to flee and she’d give into the craving of being with him.
She heard the others speak their good nights and the cave’s silence abounded. Brodin announced he would take watch and stay outside the night.
She felt the pallet shift and Heath’s hand on her face.
“Sweetness, we must finish out discussion.”
“I don’t want to talk, Heath. I’m too weary to discuss the matter.”
He stripped his garments and slid beneath the covers. Lillia rejoiced at the feeling of his skin touching hers. Resistance was futile, she couldn’t refuse him. Her conscious might scold her, but her heart would suppress that will.
His warm lips nuzzled her neck. “You’re bonny and … soft. Aye, perfection.” He perused his hand along her torso until he cupped the underside of her bosom. “Soft and pleasing.”
She might say the same about him, except that he was hard and pleasing. His magical hands drove her to madness. Lillia wouldn’t fight the longing swarming within her. She stroked him in return and pressed her hand on his upper body. His heated skin warmed her palm as she caressed the muscles of his chest. The fervent beat of his heart told her that he was as maddened as she was.
Heath continued to kiss her. The lure of his lips was too much to bear. He always made her want him. Lillia pressed his shoulders back and straddled his body. She enjoyed looking down at his body. The sculpted hardness of his chest lured her fingers. Most of his chest was smooth and hairless, the hardness and heat of his body felt splendid. Helpless and unable to control her desire, she leaned forward and kissed his mouth.
He held her waist, but his hands meandered to her breasts. The sensation of his strong hands against her soft breasts drew a mindless gasp. A sense of urgency came and her breath quickened. Their kiss ignited the insistence of raw passion.
Heath broke free, but didn’t move his mouth away from hers. “Lillia, sweetness, if I don’t join with you this minute, I’ll perish. Aye, I need you.”
“I need you, too.” She pressed her bottom back.
Lillia couldn’t control her body as she met his thrusts. They clashed in a mindless aura of pleasure. She panted at the delightful purges of passion riveting through her. His body was pleasing to touch, and she kept her hands busy, shifting them from his taut arms to his stone-like stomach. The firmness of his thighs met with the soft flesh of hers and clapped. She squeezed her eyes shut as culmination took over every part of her. With her legs squeezing him, she cried out at the bliss converging her.
Heath rolled her onto her side and lifted her leg to give him better access and position. Lilla moaned when the length of his manhood thoroughly entered her. She lay back lethargic and moaned when he jerked his body forcibly against hers.
Lillia cried out at the blissful sensations that sent her to the brink again. Heath rasped words of encouragement, but she couldn’t comprehend what he’d said. He ceased moving and growled low in his throat. His beautiful face scowled with the intensity of his submission. Lillia caressed where she could reach until he came under control. With her heart finally beating at a somewhat normal pace, she had time to consider what they’d done.
She pulled away from him and sat on the edge of the pallet. Tears streaked her cheeks at the thought that she coupled with him more than twice. If given what her sisters-in-law spoke of, she’d be heavy with child by late next summer.
Heath shimmied to the side of the bed and set his heavy hand on her back. “Lillia …”
“I don’t wish to speak,” her voice morose and she would probably sob if he bade her to explain why she’d gotten upset.
“I hurt you?” He gentled his hand down her back, sending chills reverberating through her.
“Nay.”
His hand pressed her shoulder and he turned her. “Why are you weeping?”
“Silly womanly concerns.”
“I don’t deem your concerns silly. Tell me why you are dismayed.”
She sighed and decided to tell him even though she’d likely turn five shades of crimson before the telling was over, “Before I left home …” she let the tale spew from her mouth before she might stop herself. “They told me if you want to remain free of bairns not to allow your husband … not to couple more than twice.”
“And this concerns you?” Heath laughed. The sound boomed with his mirth.
“I told you it was silly.”
He pulled her back and leaned upward on the flat of his hands, his breath near her ear. He whispered in a sultry tone, one that would’ve melted her heart if she hadn’t hardened it against him. “Sweetness, your friends are verily wrong.”
“Well that’s a relief.”
“It only takes but once to beget a woman with child.” He moved his hand to her stomach. “You may well be carrying my bairn now. The thought actually gladdens me.”
“I’m not carrying your bairn. But we cannot do this again no matter how much I want to. You must maintain a will for it appears I have none.” Lillia flinched because it was true. She couldn’t resist him. His kisses alone were enough to sway her to unreasonable acts.
His chest rumbled from his chuckle. “All the more reason why we should wed at the soonest.”
Another unsound reason piled atop the rest. She didn’t like that his intention for wanting to wed her had nothing to do with his heart.
“Heath, I cannot let you wed me to protect me. And certainly not because my father might insist I wed the man he betrothed me to. I will not let you give up your life’s pursuit. There’s no reason that will sway me.”
He caressed her hair and sighed. “What pursuit?”
“Your aspiration to serve God. I know what it means to you and I won’t cause you to take a different path. Men of the clergy are more oft devout and have no wife. I will not wed you.”
His thumb trailed a small path over her cheek. “There’s nothing for it. We both understand I was never going to pursue that path. Let us get sleep for we’ll get an early start on the morrow.”
She wanted to refuse him again, but he quieted her with a gentle kiss on her lips, and pulled her to lie next to him. During the long hours of the night, she tossed and turned considering each of his reasons and not one settled her on the idea. Lillia had to admit she did feel safe when she was with him, but it wasn’t reason enough to marry someone.
Chapter Fourteen
Heath lay watching Li
llia. Light filtered into the cave and Annag bustled about fixing the morning fare. He usually rose early, but this day he didn’t want to face the morn. This day he’d forever tie himself to Lillia which troubled him. Not because he didn’t care for her. He cared a whole lot, more than he thought possible. It was mainly because he’d have to put behind him the quest to serve God and also because he’d have a hell of a time getting her to agree.
He wouldn’t force her though. Somehow he would gain her agreement. Added to the weight of those issues, James had to be on his way to the caves. He needed to get the marriage done before his surly comrade arrived.
“Good morn.” She touched his face, solacing him briefly.
“We must leave. Make haste. Ready and meet me at the horses.”
“But—”
“No buts, Sweetness. You are coming with me even if I must throw ye upon my damned horse and make off with you. Now ready yourself, and I’ll get us something to eat along the way. Don’t dally.”
Heath rose and told Annag what he needed. She put together a small sack of foodstuff: bread, fruit, cheese, and handed it to him. The old woman gazed at him with a strange look.
“Och ye be doing the right thing,” she said, and clasped his hand. “You shall make a fine husband for Lillia.”
Kerrigan joined them at the table. He watched Lillia, who grumbled about using the stream to wake her, leave the cave, and he turned back to the two women he’d come to care for.
“I’m off to the abbey.”
“All shall go well,” Kerrigan said.
He guffawed in objection. “I doubt it, but regardless before this day is through she will be my wife.”
“She hasn’t agreed?” Annag tisked. “You will convince her for she’s professed to giving you her heart. Surely that be enough.”
“Have you told her you love her?”
He raised a brow at Kerrigan’s question. “I will figure out how to gain her agreement. Tell Graeme I’ll return before dark.” Heath set out to the ossuary and found Lillia walking in the opposite direction. His stride was much quicker than hers and he caught up to her and plucked her from the ground.