His brows furrowed, but I kept going. “That book became an addiction for me and I read it every chance I got. Initially, it was just to see what kind of person you were, but I quickly became invested in everyone’s lives. The things you overcame and the things you did for Rae and Joker—it speaks volumes about your character. The night of the gathering, Doc told me that I’d made you different.
“I didn’t believe him until I found the other journal, but by then it didn’t matter. You see, the thing is—I’d already fallen in love with your kindness when I read about Bones. I’d fallen in love with your character when you gave up on your dreams to stay and protect your sister. You did everything in your power to set things right so that no one else would ever know loss like you had. Reading what you wrote in your journal about me was just the final link in the chain—I’d fallen in love with you as a man long before that. I just needed a push in the right direction.”
There was so much left that needed to be said and I was quickly growing tired, but I managed with a gravelly whisper, “I couldn’t have left—was never even given a choice in the matter. It was always meant to be you. Every awful event I went through led me to the woods by the clubhouse and I—I love you, Kane. I realize you may not feel the same any—”
He moved his thumb until it covered my lips, silencing me. “Look around you, baby. Do I look like a man who would risk everything for just anyone?”
I shook my head, but he kept his thumb where it was and continued. “Fuck no. I love you. You’re stuck with me—you’re gonna marry me…carry my babies…”
I swallowed hard and talked around his hand. “You wanna marry me?” It came out in a hoarse squeak.
He nodded impatiently, as if we’d already covered the topic hundreds of times. “And knock you up—that way everyone sees you’re mine too.” He dropped his hand inside the pocket of his pants and pulled out a small ring. It was a simple, hand forged silver band with a small ruby in the center. The corner of his mouth turned up in a slight smile. “Reminded me of your lips the night of the gathering.”
I stared at it in wonder and complete shock, while waiting for him to drop to one knee and ask me ‘the question.’
He cocked his head to the side. “What? You don’t like it?”
I smiled. “No, I love it. I was just waiting on you to do this properly.” I glanced down toward the wood floor and he sighed.
“You’re shittin’ me, right?”
I shook my head. “If you want an answer, you have to ask me a question.”
That cocky grin reappeared. “And what makes you think I’m askin’, honey? I claimed you.”
My own smile widened. “If you want me to wear that pretty little ring on my finger, you’ll ask me like a damn gentleman, Kane.”
He bit down on his lower lip before dropping to one knee beside the bed. “Alright then—baby, will you marry me? I can’t promise you that it’ll be easy, but I’ll keep you safe. I’ll give you my name and a family within the club. You’ll never want for anything.” The moonlight streaming in through the window made his eyes look suspiciously shiny.
I nodded happily. “Yes, Kane. I’ll marry you.”
He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine before slipping the ring onto my finger. “That official enough for ya, boss?”
I lightly bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. It hurt too much for that. “It’s a start, Kane. It’s a start.”
He kissed me fiercely before stepping back to strip out of his cut-off and t-shirt.
“What are you doing?”
He paused with his hands on his jeans and looked up at me. “What does it look like I’m doin’, honey? I’m getting out of these bloody clothes and then I’m gonna shower. After that, I’m gonna sink into you until the only memories you have are of me and you forget the hell you went through.”
My mouth went drier than the Sahara and my tongue tangled in knots. It took me several tries before I could form a coherent sentence. “Don’t shower.”
It was his turn to look shocked. “Like this?”
I nodded slowly. “Just like that.”
He cocked his head to the side and gave another lopsided smile. “Damn, honey. Come here.”
I walked over to where he stood, fighting the urge to leap into his arms. My ribs, however, applauded my decision to move slowly. “You need something, Prez?”
He pulled on the drawstring of my sweatpants, forcing me closer to his body as he worked them down my legs. “Just you.”
Charm managed to gently lift the hem of my t-shirt until it was over my head. His eyes narrowed almost immediately and he let out a low growl before flipping the light switch on in the bathroom.
“Is it bad?” I asked as he began checking me over, finally stepping around him and moving over to the mirror to assess the damage. Dark streaks ran down my side and if I looked closely enough, I was sure I would’ve been able to see the outline from Blade’s boots. My face hadn’t fared much better—I was a canvas of black, blue, and purple.
“Jesus,” Charm stood behind me, his head resting gently on top of mine. “I’d kill him all over again if I could, baby. What he did to you—” His voice cut off in a rough sob and I reached down for his hands, knowing that this was a side of him only I would ever see.
It felt like an honor had been bestowed upon me. He was vulnerable with me and knowing that somehow made the details over the last few days irrelevant. It didn’t matter if the entire thing had been a drug-induced hallucination, his love was real. Of that I was certain.
I broke the tension the only way I knew how, by getting him to laugh. “I’m back to looking like a mangy dog again, don’t you think?”
Charm didn’t laugh…didn’t even crack a smile. His arms encircled my waist and he lifted me up onto the bathroom counter, my legs straddling his body. “Should’ve never said that to you—I’m not a good man. I ain’t ever gonna be on the right side of the law, Neve. I’ve killed a lot of people, the most recent being Blade; and I know I don’t fuckin’ deserve you—doesn’t mean I’m willing to stand back and let a better man claim you though.
“I’m a selfish prick and a million lifetimes wouldn’t be enough to make up for all the shit I’ve done. Knowing that, I wanna keep you all the same—I can’t do this without you.”
He scrubbed the blood from his hands under steaming water as I watched in confusion. His words had triggered a strange sense of déjà vu, and then it hit me—he’d said almost the exact same thing when I was in a coma. Before I could pepper him with the questions racing through my brain, his mouth came down hard on mine.
He held my face in his rough hands and gently pressed a kiss to the cut on my forehead. Under the bright lights, he used his hands and mouth to apologize for everything that had happened to me.
I brought his face back up to mine and his tongue trailed lightly across my jaw, igniting a fire in my blood. My fingers traced along his tattoos, slowly working my way down to his belt.
I took my time unfastening it and toyed with him by dipping my fingers beneath the waistband of his jeans, stopping just as I brushed against his hard length. Growing impatient with my attempts at seduction, Charm let out another low growl before dragging his jeans and boxers down over his hips.
His fingers moved up and down my slit and I found that watching him with the lights on only turned me on further. His middle finger circled my clit before sliding into me.
My mouth fell open and a moan slipped out as he slowly pumped in and out of me. Taking my whimpers as a contest, he added a second finger, curling them along my front wall. “Oh god...” I breathed out as I wrapped his long hair up in my hands, keeping him in place.
He grinned before sucking one of my nipples into his mouth, somehow managing to maintain his rhythm while doing it.
This time, it was me who grew frustrated. I was close, but needed more. I pushed his hand away and reached for him.
He raised his head up with a smirk. “What do you
need?”
“You,” I groaned. “Please.”
I sucked in a breath as he sank into me inch by inch, until my only thought was of his name—Kane. I moaned it repeatedly and held him in with my hips as he lovingly pieced me back together, my skin taking on the blood that coated his—each of us sharing the burden of the sins he’d committed in my honor. My nails dug into his shoulders as I fell apart, but he kept thrusting.
Charm panted in my ear, “You keep squeezing me like that, honey, and I’m not gonna last.”
I bit down on my lip and tightened around him again.
“Always challengin’ me,” he said, before crushing his mouth up against mine, muffling my screams as he filled me.
It wouldn’t have mattered if I’d been given a choice to stay or not—we were like two halves—each in need of the other to feel whole.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Strong arms slipped beneath my lower back and behind my knees, lifting me up off the mattress. I groaned in protest and got a throaty chuckle in response.
“I know it’s early, baby. We need to talk.”
Those four words were enough to jolt me fully awake. “Talk?” I rasped. “Did we not already do that?”
In fact, I’d been hoping to sleep most of the day to make up for all the ‘talking’ we’d done last night. My brain was mush and I longed to stay buried underneath the covers until it had recovered.
He carried me downstairs, stopping to grab a blanket on his way out the back door. “Need to tell you somethin’.”
I tried to sit up in his arms, briefly throwing him off balance. The cold early morning air hit my face and nearly took my breath away. “Couldn’t you just tell me in bed, where it’s warm?”
Charm shook his head. “Nope, wouldn’t be the same.” He led me onto the patio where he had a fire burning in the outdoor fireplace. He wrapped the blanket around my shoulders and settled me on his lap.
The sky began to lighten and I had a flashback to being in the truck with streaks of sunlight beaming through the trees onto my face. “Kane?”
He rubbed my shoulders through the blanket. “Yeah?”
I leaned into his chest. “Um, last night in the bathroom, those things you said…had you said them before?”
His grip tightened around me. “What do you mean? You think I’d say shit like that to anyone else?”
Either this would make perfect sense to him, or he’d think that the coke and fentanyl had done a number on my brain.
I took a deep breath. “No, it’s just—god, this is gonna sound crazy—I heard you. When I was in that coma, I could see and hear everything. In the waiting room, you told the doctor to do whatever he could to save me—”
Charm interrupted. “Neve, I did say that, but it’s somethin’ anyone would’ve said given the situation. Maybe you dreamed it—”
I shook my head impatiently. “No, you wanted to know who gave me the Narcan—it was Blade, by the way. You—you—” I was getting frantic to prove that I hadn’t imagined what had happened. “You talked to me about Luck…told me I was your lucky charm. You gave me mistletoe and…” I trailed off, unsure of what else to say.
Charm let out a low whistle. “Jesus, honey…”
My cheeks flushed as I stuttered, “I—I know it sounds insane; maybe it was just some crazy hallucination—”
He tightened his hold on my shoulder, turning me around to face him. “You didn’t dream it—I’ve heard of coma patients being able to hear people around them talking, but nothing like this. It’s true then—you said my name the morning I left you with Blade, didn’t you?”
I nodded. “You heard me?”
He brought his hand up, running his thumb over my cheek, while seemingly lost in thought. “Clear as fuckin’ day. I could’ve sworn you were standing right behind me.”
“What did you say—before you left?”
Charm suddenly looked uncomfortable. “It—uh—I just said that I loved you.”
I laughed and poked his side. “You did not. Tell me!”
“You’re not gonna drop it, are you?” I shook my head and he sighed. “I gave you the mistletoe and said that I would petition every god necessary to resurrect you.”
“Is that why you brought me out here? To declare your undying love for me?” I laughed easily, but his face turned solemn.
Clearing his throat, he lowered his hands down to clasp mine. “I found the money, Neve.”
I couldn’t help it; I laughed again at the sheer madness of it. “Oh, okay. Good to know. That’ll really clear up everyone trying to kill me for it now, won’t it?”
His expression never changed. “I’m serious, baby. Blade was close, but he was a fuckin’ moron.”
I narrowed my eyes at him and shifted closer to the fire as the sun hit the horizon; chasing away the darkness and bathing everything in light. “I don’t understand—how did you find the money if I didn’t even know it existed?”
The corner of his mouth turned up in a smile and I couldn’t help myself; I leaned forward and pressed my lips to it.
It widened even further. “You told me that after your parents died, you tried to OD and when that didn’t work, you snorted yourself into oblivion. I figured your parents had to have known that you might relapse. They would’ve wanted to ensure that you didn’t blow through the money, right?”
My mouth dropped open. “Oh my god—they put it in a trust!”
He nodded. “Bingo. Your parents left you everything, but they also knew you were an addict. So, they had everything put into a trust—real estate, bank accounts, stocks, and bonds.”
I shook my head. “I don’t understand how you figured it out, when Blade and Clint couldn’t.”
Charm laughed and pulled me into a hug. “Because they were fuckin’ idiots, like I said. They were so damn convinced that your parents would’ve left you everything, free and clear, that they never looked anywhere else. Me? I ain’t ever had any kids, but my sister was an addict and I know that I’d never leave her money without some qualifiers in place.”
I was still crushed up against his chest, so my words were muffled. “The trust has stipulations that must be met, I’m guessing?”
He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and read from it. “Beneficiary must be a college graduate. Funds have been set aside for tuition and living costs.”
They’d known I was strung out, yet they had faith that I would come back from it. The only way I was ever going to graduate was if I sobered up. I’d had the money the entire time—and it wouldn’t have mattered who they killed, Blade and Clint would’ve never gotten a dime of it.
“It still doesn’t matter—I never finished college.”
Charm moved me away and stood up to pace. “Yeah, that’s why I wanted to talk to you. I told myself that I’d make all the money you’d ever need—that there was no point in telling you about the inheritance. I can’t do it though. You gotta go back and finish school. Live your dream and make your parents proud.”
He trailed off, leaving the birds to sing their early morning songs in peace. I wasn’t entirely familiar with normal relationships, but I was fairly certain that guys didn’t propose right before a break up, did they?
I hugged my knees to my chest to stop them from shaking. “So, you want me to leave?”
Charm looked out over the landscape and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “Fuck no. I want you to stay here—but it’s not about me. I may be an asshole, but I couldn’t live with myself if I kept you from fulfilling their dying wish.”
Tears fell from my eyes onto the fleece blanket. Each drop connecting with the last until the tops of my knees were damp. “You asked me to marry you…”
His jaw tightened as he nodded, still looking away from me. “Yeah, honey, but I can’t force you to stay here. This isn’t a life for you. You deserve to finish school and then do whatever you want with your millions. See the world—”
His voice cut off suddenly as he
continued to look beyond the wilderness and to a life that didn’t include me in it.
I slid off the chair and wrapped my arms around him, resting my face against his back. “That sounds nice,” His body tensed beneath me. “But I want to be with my family. You’re my family, Kane. My home is here with you and I wouldn’t give that up for all the money in the world.”
His hands dropped down to cover mine. “You wanna stay here? What about the trust fund?”
I smiled to myself. “I’ll enroll in online classes—if I need to drive to Boulder a couple of days a week, I can. I think my biggest concern right now is making an honest man out of you though.”
His back vibrated beneath my cheek as he laughed. “You could have the entire world, but you wanna stay here and marry me?”
I stepped around him until we were face to face. “Meh, why waste hours sitting on a plane when I can see the world on the back of your bike?”
Chapter Twenty- Eight
Six Months Later…
“Now, hold still, dear. I’ve almost got it.” Pearl knelt on the thick carpet behind me, straight pins sticking out of her mouth haphazardly.
I took another look in the mirror and resisted the urge to twirl around. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen before. The ivory wedding gown was sleeveless with a straight neckline that hit just above my collarbone. It tapered in at the waist with a small satin belt and then flared out into an A-line skirt that hit just below my knees. It was classic and modest—exactly what I’d been looking for.
Once Pearl found out that I was engaged to Charm, she’d insisted on finding me the perfect dress. We looked everywhere, and I’d almost given up and decided to get married in all leather, when she pulled her own gown out of storage. The first time I’d tried it on, she and I both knew that it was the one.
The bruises and cuts that marred my skin had faded away, along with the nightmares of my past. I’d slipped happily back into my role as ‘clubhouse caretaker,’ with the exception that I was now a college student again.
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