by Lynn, JB
“Well,” he began, “I’m not supposed to legally provide medical advice, especially over—”
“Then just say yes or no,” I told him. I nodded at Susan and she pulled the pillow away from Templeton’s bleeding head. I angled the phone so that Doc could get a good look at it.
“Does he need to go to the hospital?” I asked Doc impatiently.
“I can’t give medical advice,” he stated again.
“Okay,” I said, forcing myself to remain calm even though my blood pressure was climbing through the roof. “If you were here, would you hypothetically insist that we take him to the hospital?” I asked.
“Hypothetically, no—” he said. “I’d keep an eye on it. The body has an incredible ability to heal and clot. If he’s still bleeding in, say, twenty minutes, you might want to get him medical attention.”
“Thank you.”
I held out the phone and waited while Marlene took her sweet time tiptoeing back across the room to retrieve it.
“Hear that?” I said to Templeton. “You’re going to live.”
“Do I have to?” he asked with a weak smile.
“This wouldn’t have happened if you had been here,” Loretta accused.
“I would have saved him from the falling picture?” I asked.
“You would have prevented this from becoming a free for all,” Loretta said. With that, she practically shoved me away as she knelt down beside her beloved and draped his ankles over her shoulders.
I slowly got to my feet.
Susan caught my eye. “She does have a point, Margaret.”
I sighed heavily. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was tired or because I felt guilty. Either way, I knew it was going to be a long night.
24
Once we’d gotten Templeton up onto the sofa and it seemed like the bleeding was definitely slowing down, I looked around the room and realized there were two important people, well, one human and one animal, missing.
“Where’s Armani?” I asked worriedly. “And where’s DeeDee?” I tried to keep the panic from my voice, but I’m not sure I succeeded.
It wasn’t odd that Armani had wandered off, but it was strange that DeeDee wasn’t in the middle of everything.
“She went looking for inspiration,” Herschel told me.
“Which one?” I asked worriedly. The idea of either of them going off to look for inspiration was more than a little bit frightening.
“Armani,” my grandfather replied. He leaned closer to me and whispered, “I told DeeDee to stay with her.”
I nodded my understanding. He was wise not to allow Armani to go wandering off alone. I just wasn’t sure DeeDee was the one that could provide protection for her. “I’m gonna go find them,” I announced.
Nobody seemed to respond to my announcement, so I sort of backed out of the room before anyone could start an argument about it. I hurried out of the house, wondering if I should also try to find Aunt Leslie.
Considering how angry she was, she could probably defend herself if it came to that, but I couldn’t have her out there in the dark alone.
Piss trotted out alongside me. “Never a dull moment, sugar,” she said.
I nodded. “Unfortunately, not.” I looked around. “Which direction do you think we should go in?”
“Head west, young woman,” God declared from his hiding spot in my bra.
“You know I don’t do directions,” I told him. “I just meant right or left.”
“You go this way, and I’ll go that,” Piss suggested. “We’ll make a big loop, and we’ll find everybody.”
“Thank you,” I told my feline friend. Sometimes I felt like she was the only one that really supported me.
“We’re family,” she purred sweetly, rubbing against my leg. “That’s what we’re here for.” She trotted off into the dark, and I walked in the opposite direction, feeling the lizard pulling at my bra strap so that he could perch on my shoulder.
“Are you okay?” he asked. There was none of his usual superiority; he seemed to be genuinely asking.
I shrugged, which made him scramble for balance.
“It will all work out,” he told me. “It always does.”
“I know.” I sighed. “But when you’re in the middle of trouble, it feels like it’s never going to end.”
Before he could respond, a figure charged out of the darkness toward us. “Maggie! Maggie! Maggie!” DeeDee panted excitedly.
At least somebody was glad to see me.
“Where’s Armani,” I asked her as she leapt up, putting her paws on my shoulders. “Easy,” I said, struggling to keep my balance.
“Way this,” she yipped excitedly.
I broke into a light jog, trying to keep her in sight.
“You need to develop a smoother gait,” God complained.
I didn’t dare answer him because I was having enough trouble breathing. If he didn’t like the way that I ran, he could always get off the ride and carry himself to our destination.
DeeDee led the way to one of the outbuildings; like everything else, it was lit up.
Armani was standing in the doorway, leaning to one side, taking the weight off her bad leg.
“Hey,” I called softly.
She turned, not seeming startled by my arrival. “Hey, chica,” she said with a wide smile. “What do you think of this place?”
I climbed the three stairs to the porch and walked across to peer inside.
“It looks like it was some sort of storage,” I said, looking at the bare beams.
“But it has so much potential,” Armani told me.
“Potential for what?” I asked suspiciously.
“You could close off the back,” she said. “Put in a separate heating and cooling system and make the front a small apartment here,” she said. “There would be enough room for a mini fridge and a microwave…”
“It sounds like you’re putting in an AirBnB,” I said. “Thinking of constructing a love shack for you and Jack?”
She rolled her eyes. “Jack Stern is busy chasing a story about a heart that’s not mine.”
I looked at her curiously. “What does that mean?”
She shook her head. “Can’t say, he’s paranoid about losing his scoop.” She waved her good hand to encompass the room. “I was thinking it would be perfect for Leslie,” she said. “That way, the grow room would be away from the rest of the buildings, and she’d have her own autonomy with a little kitchenette, living room, and a bedroom.”
I nodded slowly, peering into the cavernous space. I didn’t really understand her vision. All I could see was that it was going to cost a bundle to make it happen.
“I’m sure that could work. But I’m also sure it would cost a fortune.”
Armani threw back her hair, a twinkle in her eye. “Well, luckily, I’m worth a fortune,” she reminded me.
I nodded. Sometimes I did forget that she’d recently won the lottery.
“I could redo all of these buildings, make them what everyone is looking for,” Armani told me excitedly. “I could make all of the family’s problems go away.”
I was grateful for her and her excitement, but I knew nobody could make all of my family’s problems go away.
25
Armani filled me in on all of her grand plans for the compound, how she could make everyone’s wishes come true, as we walked back to the main house.
When we were about three quarters of the way there, Piss came trotting up to us.
“Griswald and Leslie around the corner,” she meowed as a warning.
I nodded my understanding and she fell into step with Armani, DeeDee, and myself.
When we rounded the corner, I saw that Leslie was on the ground, knees tucked into her chest, head resting on her knees, humming off-key. I gave Griswald an enquiring look.
He shrugged. “I’m trying to get her to go back into the house. She seems to be in an…altered state.”
I groaned. Not for the first time I fou
nd myself grateful, and slightly confused, that the law-abiding Griswalds were willing to overlook Leslie’s penchant for illegal substances.
“Come on, Aunt Leslie.” I hooked one arm under her elbow and tried to lift her up onto her feet. “Let’s go inside. It’s not safe out here.”
Griswald looked at me sharply, knowing I was referring to the people after Archie Lee.
“Why isn’t it safe?” Armani asked.
Griswald and I shared a look.
“Coyotes,” God suggested from his spot in my bra.
“Coyotes,” I said, quickly deciding it was as good an excuse as any.
Leslie jerked her head off her knees and looked around. “Coyotes?”
“We don’t want them to get Piss,” I told her.
“Certainly not,” Piss purred, amused by the story that I was spinning.
“They’ve been known to take small pets,” I told Leslie. I held out my hand. “For the cat’s sake, let’s go inside.”
Leslie took my hand and allowed me to pull her to her feet.
“This doesn’t mean that I’m forgiving Loretta,” she pouted.
“I wouldn’t expect you to,” I told her tiredly. “All I want to do is get everybody safe inside.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Griswald nodding his approval.
“How many coyotes?” Armani asked.
“Um…” I trailed off because, the truth is, I really know nothing about coyotes. I didn’t even know if they were in New Jersey, for all I know that could be a lie.
“They travel in packs,” God informed me.
“They travel in packs,” I parroted out to the other humans.
“Wolves like?” DeeDee asked.
I looked at her carefully. I couldn’t ask her how she knew about wolves or why she sounded so worried. I had to presume she’d been watching TV with the lizard and he’d let her watch some show that had frightened her. I made a mental note to give him a lecture that those with simple minds shouldn’t be watching television. Then again, most people shouldn’t be watching television.
We moved as a pack toward the house. Leslie and Armani ended up striking up a conversation about the dangers of wildlife. I ended up talking with Griswald.
“Obviously you’ve heard,” he said.
I nodded. “Templeton informed me before his accident.”
“Accident?” Griswald sounded alarmed.
“A picture fell and hit him in the head,” I told him. “It’s really nothing nefarious.”
He nodded slowly. “Brian seemed a bit concerned about everyone’s safety.” The U.S. Marshal surveyed the grounds. “I’ll patrol tonight to make sure we don’t get any unexpected visitors.”
Considering that both Zeke and Gino sometimes dropped by and they would qualify as unexpected visitors, his pledge to protect everyone actually alarmed me.
“I’ll help,” I offered.
He shook his head and chuckled. “I don’t really know what you could do.”
“I’ll keep DeeDee with me,” I said.
Hearing her name, the Doberman pinscher turned around. “DeeDee!”
“You’re a good girl,” I assured her.
“She’s a moron,” God said from my chest.
Griswald raised his eyebrows at the squeaking sound but didn’t comment.
“What is she going to do?” Griswald asked. “Will the dog trip an intruder?”
“DeeDee,” I called softly. “Come.”
She and Piss had been leading the way back into the house, but she immediately came to the back of the line to stand beside me.
“Be scary,” I ordered her.
“Cujo!” God shouted from my bra.
Immediately, DeeDee crouched down and began snarling and growling, looking like a deranged, rabid creature.
Startled, Griswald took a step back. “Okay, okay.” He held out his hand. “I was wrong about her.”
“Good girl,” I told DeeDee.
She immediately morphed back into her goofy self and licked the palm of my hand. “Did good I?”
“You did very well,” I told her, patting her head.
I glanced over at the U.S. Marshal, who was watching her out of the side of his eye.
“So we’ll help,” I asserted.
He nodded. “It’s not like I could stop you.”
We got everyone settled into rooms in the main house.
When Susan voiced concern about Katie, Darlene, and her family over at the house next to the now decimated B&B, Griswald hurried to assure her that Detective Brian Griswald had arranged protection for them.
“I’m sure they’ll be fine,” I said, backing up his assertion, knowing that Darlene is more capable of protecting her family than anyone knew.
Mumbling and grumbling, everyone turned into bed. Everyone, that is, except for myself, Lawrence Griswald, and the animals.
“I’m going to walk around the property,” I announced to Griswald.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
I motioned to DeeDee, Piss, and Herschel’s dog, Zippy, who were all gathered at my feet.
“It’s not like I’m going out there alone,” I told him.
He nodded. “Keep your phone handy.”
I nodded.
I stepped out into the darkness. Most of the lights on the property had now been turned off, and for the first time in hours, I was able to take a deep breath.
26
Thankfully, we didn’t get any unexpected visitors at the compound overnight. DeeDee and I walked in one direction and Piss walked in the other, circling the place for hours. I’m not sure what the hell Zippy did besides run around digging holes for no apparent reason.
Every time we passed the pen of Percy, the blind peacock, he squawked, “Who goes there?” but besides that everything and everyone seemed calm.
My feet hurt and I was pretty exhausted the next morning. While everyone else was getting up and ready for their day, I needed to figure out a time and a place to take a nap. But first I had to go check on Angel.
Griswald, looking as tired as I felt, watched me carefully as I informed Herschel that I’d be out for the day.
“Where are you off to?” Herschel asked.
“I have some stuff I need to take care of,” I told him cagily.
My grandfather frowned worriedly.
I could sense that Griswald was listening to every word I said. “I’ll check in later,” I promised Herschel.
“You’d better,” he joked. “When you’re not around, it seems like we get to the brink of civil war.”
I shook my head as I started to walk toward the door. That was too much pressure. I couldn’t keep my family from imploding. They shouldn’t expect me to.
“Maggie,” Griswald called as I reached for the door handle.
I froze. I didn’t want to lie to him, but I couldn’t tell him where I was going.
“Be careful,” Griswald said simply.
I glanced over my shoulder at him. “I will be.”
He nodded and waited for me to leave as we heard footsteps descending down the stairs.
Grateful for the escape, I dashed away.
“Where are we going, sugar,” Piss asked, following closely at my heels. DeeDee loped ahead of us, sniffing different patches of grass.
“Back to the motel,” I told her.
“Wonderful,” God said from his hiding spot in my bra. “If he’s still passed out, we can get a couple of hours of quiet, a couple of hours of sleep.”
“Sleep!” DeeDee barked excitedly.
I knew the feeling, I too was exhausted.
“Shotgun!” DeeDee barked victoriously when she realized we were headed for the car.
I let the cat and dog into the car and climbed into the driver’s seat. Before I could close my door, I heard a familiar voice calling my name.
“Hey, Maggie,” a crow cawed.
Looking around, I spotted Mike, our avian friend, perched on a fence post.
“Hey, Mike,�
�� I replied. “What’s up?”
“Have you checked on Boyl?” the black crow asked.
Considering that the child had shot the bird with a BB gun, I didn’t quite understand why Mike was so concerned with the kid’s well-being.
“I met with the person who’s caring for him yesterday,” I told him.
“But you haven’t read the file,” God reminded me.
Our feathered friend ignored the scaled one and asked, “He’s okay?”
I nodded. “He’s fed. He’s safe.”
“Glad to hear it,” Mike said gruffly.
“Hey,” I said, a thought occurring to me. “Do you think you could hang around here?”
The crow tilted his head to the side, looking at me curiously. “Sure, why?”
“There’s a chance someone might try to break in,” I told him. “If there was a birds-eye view of the place…”
“Not to worry,” the black crow told me. “I’ll keep an eye on the place for you.”
I nodded. “Herschel, the old man,” I told him. “He’ll be able to understand you, so if you see something, say something.”
“Will do.” With that, he flapped his wings and flew away.
I closed the door to the car and started the engine.
“Well, do you feel better now?” God asked. He climbed out of my shirt, ran down my arm, skittered across the steering wheel, and took his place on the dashboard of the car.
“It can’t hurt to have an extra set of eyes,” I said.
“Everything will be okay, sugar,” Piss assured me, kneading my thigh with her paws.
“I hope so,” I muttered under my breath.
I’d almost reached the end of the driveway when another car pulled up from the other direction. We both came to a stop.
The lizard peered out the windshield. “Friend or foe?”
I had no idea. I kept my hand on the gearshift, thinking at any moment I’d have to shove it into reverse and try to outrun the other vehicle.
A hand emerged from the driver’s side window of the other car and waved.
“Well, that could be just about anybody,” God remarked.
Then a head stuck out.
I breathed a sigh of relief. “Zeke,” I said out loud.