The lens of the camera clicked but she had no idea what she’d taken. Concentration was impossible with his dominating presence opposite her and the looming discussion of their baby. She turned the camera off and looked at him to see he’d been watching every move she’d made.
‘We need to talk about our predicament.’ Still his dark eyes watched her, assessing her reaction to his words.
‘Predicament?’ she snapped, giving him her full attention. ‘Is that what this baby is to you? A predicament? Something else you have to deal with? Just what do you suggest, Nikolai?’
‘It is a predicament,’ he said calmly, far too calmly, and it unnerved her. What was coming next? ‘One I never wanted but one which now means we must get married.’
‘Married?’ she said loudly, then looked around to see if anyone had heard her. From the satisfied expression on Nikolai’s face, that was exactly the reaction he had been hoping for. ‘We can’t get married.’
‘Give me one good reason why not.’ He sat back and regarded her sternly.
‘We live on different continents to start with.’ She grasped at the first thing she could think of and, from the amused look which crossed his face, he knew it. Why did he have to look so handsome, so incredibly sexy? And why was she still so attracted to him?
‘That can easily be sorted. I have a home in London if New York isn’t to your liking.’ His instant response unsettled her. Had he worked it all out already?
‘It’s not easy for me,’ she said quickly, angry that everything seemed so cut and dried with him. ‘I have my sister to consider and my job. I’ve only just been offered a job with World in Photographs.’
‘Your sister is in Perm for the next few years and your job could be done from anywhere, could it not?’ The tone of his voice confirmed her suspicion of moments ago. He did have it all worked out—completely to suit him.
None of what he was suggesting suited her. She needed to be in London, especially now she had a job with World in Photographs, a job she needed for financial security, now more than ever. Not only did she have Jess to help through the ballet school, she had a baby on the way, but deep down it was more than that. His so-called deal tapped into her deepest insecurities after growing up knowing that out there in the world was her father, a man who didn’t want to know her.
Overwhelmed by the panic of her situation, she glared at Nikolai. ‘I need to be in London if I’m to keep the job as a photographer with World in Photographs and I need that job to support Jess.’
‘That is easily sorted.’
She frowned, not sure what he was getting at. ‘For you, maybe.’
‘Jess will have all the financial help she needs to ensure she can—what was it you said in Vladimir?—chase her dream.’ The look on his handsome face was as severe as she’d ever seen it, not a hint of pleasure from the generous gift he’d just offered. Or was it a gift? Was it not dangling temptation in front of her?
No, it was more than that. It was a bribe and all she had to do was marry him. The thought filled her with dread. She’d dreamed of the day a man would propose to her, dreamed of it being a loving and romantic moment. Nikolai was being neither as he sat watching her; even the ride in the carriage couldn’t lend a romantic mood to the moment.
‘I can’t accept that,’ she said, still unable to believe what was happening. He was making a deal with her for their child: marry him and she, the baby and Jess would be financially secure. It hurt that she had very little chance of ever matching that, especially now her pregnancy would affect her ability to work. If she turned him down, said no, as instinct was urging her to do, she would be turning down so much more than just a marriage proposal. She would be saying no to something which would help Jess but, more importantly, give her baby what she’d never had: a father.
Turmoil raged inside her as he watched her, the motion of the carriage making her feel slightly ill, and the steady rhythm of the horses’ hooves sounding like drums in her head. How could this be happening? How could all this come from one desire-laden moment in time? How could those few blissful hours have such an impact on her life?
‘No,’ she said again, more firmly. ‘I can’t accept that.’
For a moment he looked at her and the tension between them intensified, but she refused to look away. She wanted to challenge him, wanted to push him in the same way he was pushing her.
Finally he spoke. ‘Just as I will not tolerate being pushed out of my child’s life, and the only way to ensure that is marriage.’
He leant forward in the carriage and she looked away, not daring to look into his dark eyes a moment longer. He had touched a raw and open wound. She was here because she’d hoped he’d want something to do with his child, that he wouldn’t turn his back on either her or his baby. She’d never expected this from a man who’d declared one night was all he could give. If she turned him down, didn’t that make her worse than her mother?
She couldn’t help herself and looked deep into his eyes, seeing what she’d seen that night in Vladimir, and tried to plead with him again. ‘But marriage—’
‘Is the only option.’ He cut across her once more. ‘We will be married, Emma. I will not take no for an answer, not now you are carrying my child.’
CHAPTER SIX
THE REST OF the carriage ride had blurred into a shocked haze and now, as she stood in one of New York’s most renowned jeweller’s, that haze was beginning to lift. She couldn’t marry Nikolai. What was she thinking, allowing him to bring her here to buy an engagement ring? It wouldn’t change the fact that this wasn’t what he wanted. Turmoil erupted inside her. She didn’t want to make the same mistakes as her mother, not when she knew what it felt like to be the child whose existence a father denied.
Could she really do this—sacrifice everything to do the right thing by her son or daughter? If she walked away now would her child blame her later, as she blamed her mother for depriving her of a father?
She looked anxiously at the door but had to steel herself against the reaction Nikolai provoked in her as he stood right behind her, so very close she could feel the heat of his body. It reminded her of the night they’d shared in Vladimir. The passion had been so intense, so powerful. Didn’t the undeniable attraction count for something?
‘Not thinking of running out on me, are you?’ The whispered question sent a tremor of awareness down her spine, which deepened as he held the tops of her arms, pulling her back against the latent power of his body.
She shook her head in denial, unable to put a sentence together as his touch scorched through her, reminding her of the passion they’d shared the night their child had been conceived. That thought chilled the fire he’d unwittingly stirred to life just by being near her. She had to remember the cruel way he’d bargained not only with Jess’s future, but her past, exploiting the one thing which had been a constant shadow in her life. Because of that, whatever she did, she had to control the desire he evoked within her from just a touch.
‘No, you have made it perfectly clear what has to be done.’ She turned to face him, wishing she didn’t feel the rush of desire which flooded her as she looked into his eyes. They were dark and heavy with passion, just as they had been that night in Vladimir. Would she ever stop seeing images in her mind of him like that? He’d become imprinted there and he invaded every thought. Had it been because he was the only man to have touched her intimately, the only man she’d made love with or simply the worry of facing him to tell him about the baby?
A heaviness settled over her as an ominous clarity finally allowed her to see that night for what it really was. It had just been a seduction, a way to keep her from whatever it was he was hiding, and for him it most definitely hadn’t been about making love. For him it would have been purely lust.
‘Then I suggest we select the ring that will seal the deal.’ His voice sounded firm and in control. Yet again he was manipulating her, forcing her to accept his terms.
Panic filled Emma. This
wasn’t how she’d envisaged the moment she would get engaged. It had been very much more romantic than this demand that she choose a ring. But what choice did she have now? Not only would he provide the funds for Jess, he would be in his child’s life. It was exactly how she’d always envisaged being a mother—supported by the child’s father. The only difference was that in her dreams that man had been there for her too—out of love, not duty to his child.
‘You’re right,’ she said calmly, reluctantly acknowledging this was the only way forward.
Further doubts crowded in on her, solidifying the need to accept Nikolai’s deal, no matter what she felt. What if she couldn’t cope, just as her mother hadn’t been able to do? Would her baby be taken from her, as she and Jess had been? That wouldn’t happen if she was married to the child’s father.
‘So, are we agreed?’ he asked in a calm voice.
‘Yes,’ she replied, seeing no other option but this deal he’d given her. ‘This is the best way.’
Before she could back out of the marriage she’d agreed to, with a man she’d never expected to see again after he’d left her at the hotel, she gave her full attention to the rings displayed before her. The sparkling stones blurred for a moment and she blinked to try and refocus them, horrified to realise it was tears filling her eyes that were distorting the almost endless display of expensive rings.
Once she’d selected one of the rings and was wearing it the deal would be sealed. She would have accepted his terms. She blinked quickly once more, trying to stop the threatening tears from falling. She couldn’t cry. Not yet. She had to be as strong and detached as he was being.
‘I think an emerald.’ He moved to her side and put his arm around her, his hand holding her waist as he pulled her tighter against his body. ‘To match your eyes.’
He’d noticed she had green eyes? That snippet of information shocked her, because it meant he had taken an interest in her beyond the seduction he’d obviously been planning since the ride in the troika. The memory of that day was now tarnished by the reality of the fact that he’d engineered it all—and she’d fallen for it. Had that wonderfully gentle yet powerfully seductive kiss been part of the plan too?
Of course it had and you fell for it.
‘How about this one?’ she asked, tiredness washing over her, brought on no doubt by the stress of everything, combined with the time difference and pregnancy. All she wanted to do right now was get back to her hotel room and rest, but she held the ring up by the delicate diamond-encrusted band, the emerald sparkling in the bright lights of the store.
‘Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer one of the larger ones?’ He moved away from her and sat in a distinctly antique-looking chair to the side of the table. She tried hard not to look at his long legs as he stretched them out before him. He looked far too relaxed when she was as tense as she’d ever been.
‘No,’ she said and looked boldly into his eyes, not missing the way his gaze slid down her body before meeting hers. The tingle of awareness was disconcerting and she pushed it aside, determined to be in control of this moment at the very least. ‘No, this is much more my style.’
He stood up and came back to her. He took the ring from her, looking at it, then, to her astonishment, took her left hand in his, raising it up. With deliberate slowness he slipped the ring onto her finger and she was amazed to see it was a perfect fit, as if it had been made for her. ‘In that case, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?’
It was the last thing she’d expected him to do after having all but put a deal to her and she stumbled over her words, aware of the store staff watching the exchange. Was this all for their benefit or his? She looked at him, wondering if she’d be able to speak, but finally the words came out in a soft whisper. ‘Yes, Nikolai, I will.’
He kept hold of her hand for far too long and she watched as he looked down at the square emerald now sat neatly on her finger. Would he keep his side of this strange bargain? Would he provide the funds for Jess to continue on her chosen course in life and, more importantly, be there for his child?
If he doesn’t you only have to walk away; you have nothing to lose by agreeing.
As that rebellious thought rocked through her he stepped closer and lowered his head; she knew, with every nerve in her body, that he was going to kiss her. Right there in the store.
When his lips met hers fire shot through her and her knees weakened and, as her eyes fluttered closed, she forced them open again. He moved slightly and she could see his lips lifting into a smile that was full of self-satisfaction. Then he spoke so softly only she could hear. ‘A very sensible answer.’
* * *
Nikolai opened the door of the car he’d ordered while he’d completed his purchase for the engagement ring—an item he’d never envisaged buying again. But what choice did he have? He couldn’t turn his back on his child. This was his chance to prove to himself he was a better man than his father. His child had not been conceived in the underhand way he himself had been, so didn’t that already make him a better man? But it wasn’t enough. He needed to prove to himself he was not like his father.
He watched as Emma slid into the back of the car, looking weary, and a pang of guilt briefly touched him. He had nothing to feel guilty about, he reassured himself. Emma was here to secure her and her child’s future and, now that he’d also added her sister’s into the bargain, she had everything she’d come for—and more.
She would become his fiancée and, as soon as possible, his wife. He wanted this particular deal sealed long before news of their baby broke. He wanted his mother to think he’d found love and happiness. It was all she’d ever wanted for him and now, due to one night when he’d been less than in control, he was able to give her that.
‘Where are you staying?’ he demanded as he joined her in the back of the car.
‘A hotel on West Forty-Seventh Street,’ she said without looking at him, provoking that twinge of guilt once more as he gave the driver instructions.
‘This is the right thing to do,’ he said as he took her hand from where it lay in her lap. She turned to look at him, her sable hair moving invitingly, reminding him of how soft it had been between his fingers.
‘What if you meet someone you really want to marry?’ The doubt laced in her voice did little to soften the emotions running through him. As far as he was concerned, that would never be an issue. The example of married life his father had set him was one which had stayed with him long after his mother had found happiness. He might have seen her marry for love when he was almost twelve years old but inside he knew he had his father’s genes. The way to avoid testing that theory had been to avoid any kind of emotional commitment. By the time he’d become a successful businessman in his own right, he’d also become cold and cynical and knew he would never think of marrying—at least, not for love.
‘That won’t be an issue. I could, of course, ask the same of you.’
‘Oh, I always dreamed of the fairy-tale wedding. You know—big white dress, flower girls and bridesmaids, fancy location and a honeymoon in a tropical paradise.’ At first he was taken aback by her soft, wistful voice, but the hard glint in those green eyes warned him it was just a cover-up. He knew all about hiding emotions, only he was better at it than she was; but he’d play the game her way. For now, at least.
‘And now?’
‘Now?’ She pulled her hand free of his and glared up at him, defiance adding to the sparks in her eyes. ‘Now I know better.’
‘So you won’t be looking for love and happy-ever-afters?’
‘Never.’ That one word was said with so much conviction he didn’t doubt it for one minute.
‘Then we agree on that too. You see, already we have a good base for our marriage. A child who needs us both and an obvious dislike of anything remotely romantic.’
She looked at him, questions racing across her beautiful face, and all he wanted to do was taste her lips once more. The memory of that kiss in the snow
had lingered in his mind for the best part of two months, just as the hours spent making her truly his had filled his dreams night after night. It had been those memories which had made kissing her in the store impossible to resist, that and the smouldering anger, defused by an undeniable attraction in her alluring eyes.
‘We’re here,’ she said quickly, the relief in her voice more than evident.
‘I’ll come with you whilst you check out,’ he said as he got out of the car into the bustle of New York’s streets.
‘I’m not checking out,’ she said sternly as she joined him, defiantly glaring up at him.
‘We are now engaged—you will not stay here alone; besides, we have a party to plan.’ Did she really expect him to leave her here after the news she’d given him today? He wasn’t going to give her any opportunity to run out on him again, which he suspected was exactly what she wanted to do.
‘What party?’ The shock in her voice angered him more than he was comfortable with. It seemed everything today was out of his comfort zone.
‘Our engagement party. I’ll call the planner as soon as we get back to my apartment. I think the weekend would be best.’ Before she could say anything, he took her arm and propelled her into the sleek interior of the hotel. ‘But first you need to collect your luggage and check out.’
* * *
Emma couldn’t believe how things were going. She’d had no idea what to expect when she’d made the journey to New York, but it wasn’t this. She walked across the spacious apartment which gave stunning views over Central Park and that feeling of disbelief that he’d insisted she check out of the hotel intensified. ‘There was no need for me to leave the hotel.’
‘There is every need, Emma. Apart from the engagement party, which is scheduled for the weekend, I want you to rest.’ The authority in his voice was unmistakable. She wanted to rebel against it but, just as she had done when she and Jess had moved from one foster family to another, she held it back. It was a skill she’d become adept at over the years.
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