The burn was replaced by a pounding heart. Devin shook his head and cleared his throat. "Thanks. Hildie is in here." He moved into the remodeled kitchen. It was the first thing he'd tackled. And he was damn proud of the job he'd done.
"Okay. Double wow. Did you do this?"
Dev's throat felt funny, tight and thick. He nodded, opened the fridge and pulled out a water. He took a long drink, feeling her eyes on him. "You want one?"
"Yeah. That ride was longer than I thought it'd be."
He didn't respond, got her a water, and tossed it over. Now it was his turn to stare as she opened it, tipped her head back, and guzzled. He scrubbed a hand down his face and let out a controlled breath. She finished—thank God—re-capped the bottle, and set it on the counter behind her, leaning against it as she did. Her gaze traveled around the room with admiration. She was buying time, he thought, and realized she was just as overwhelmed and jumpy as he was. Which made things worse for him. If she was feeling half of what he was, they were in for a load of trouble. And trouble was the last thing he needed.
"So we kind of got off to a weird start," she said, bringing his attention right back to where he didn't want it.
Dev crossed his arms over his chest.
"You're not a big talker are you?"
"Not really, no."
She nodded, thought a minute and finally said, "I think I should just go." She pushed of the counter.
Damn it. "Wait." She stopped. "Look," he paused, at a loss for words and quickly trying to come up with something to explain he normally wasn't this bad. "You're right. We got off to a weird start. A shocking start, a mind blowing—" her death glare stopped him and he revised. "Right." This was bloody torture and was so ridiculous that he felt a smile coming up from the depths of his body. A low laugh came out, one that had him shaking his head.
The way they'd met. They way he was acting. It was all nuts.
The scowl on her gorgeous face turned to mirth until she was laughing too. "Okay. I guess it is kind of funny," she admitted. "How about we just start over?"
"I canna unsee what I saw, lass," he replied with an easy grin. "But I'll try not to let it cloud our future interactions."
"Oh gee, thanks. If it's not too much trouble for you."
He shrugged. It was going to be a hell of a lot of trouble, but he was willing to try. "I'm just a man, Katie, not a robot. You left me with quite an impression. It's burned into my brain and—"
She held up a hand to stop him and went back to glaring, and Dev decided he liked causing the myriad of emotions that had crossed her face since she'd arrived. But most of all, he liked the humor. He'd forgotten the lightness it brought, the way it momentarily erased the darkness. He'd laughed with his brothers recently, too, finally able to spend some time together after months on end… And now Kate was here, knocking his socks off, and making him remember what it felt like to spar with a woman, to match wits, to feel the hot punch of attraction.
"So where is this dog of yours?"
"She's in here." He led Kate into the living room where Hildie lay curled up on her dog bed. She hadn't been herself and it was worrying him. Normally, she would have been up and alerting Devin to Kate biking down the lane. Normally, she would have stood by his side to make sure he was safe. Normally, she would have inhaled her breakfast.
"A Shepherd," Kate said, seeing Hildie. He was about to tell her to take it slow, but she stopped next to him instead of invading the dog's space. She was giving her time to get used to a new presence in the room. Smart. "Is she friendly?"
"Wary at first, but friendly."
Dev watched with interest as Kate knelt, and waited. It didn't take long for Hildie to rise and walk over. She sniffed Kate's knee, then her arm, then her hair. Then she sat down. Murmuring her approval, Kate finally touched Hildie, giving her several long strokes and scratches. Hildie lay down at Kate's feet and let out a long sigh. So unlike her. After a while, Kate stood, thought a minute, and said, "So she's off her food. Tired. Lies around a lot. Looks sad. Does she whine out of the blue?"
"Yeah. Sometimes."
"And how long has she been doing this?"
"Almost two weeks."
"Is she spayed?"
Dev blinked. Pregnant? His Hildie. No way. "All female MWD's are spayed before they go into training. Otherwise it'd cause too much trouble while they're on tour."
Kate frowned. "You're telling me she was a military working dog?"
If there was one thing Dev didn't like talking about, it was the military and the time he'd spent in it. He wanted to leave the past in the past. But he also loved Hildie more than life itself. He'd jumped in front of enemy fire for her, and she'd done the same for her handler. Finding out what was wrong was more important than his reluctance. "She was a PEDD, a patrol/explosives detection dog."
Kate stared at Devin in shock. "And you were her handler."
"No." Already his pulse was up and the anxiety was increasing. He didn't want to focus on this. Didn't want it to keep being a point of interest for Kate. So Dev drew in a deep breath and quickly ripped off the Band-Aid. "Her handler was one of my best friends…" And that was as far as he got. The rest wouldn't come.
"Well," she said at length. "If she's not going through pregnancy symptoms… Could it be PTSD?"
Dev shook his head. "She was evaluated before adoption. Didn't show any signs."
"Well, they don't call it post traumatic stress for nothing. Could be it. Or she could just be lonely, bored—"
His back went stiff. "She's not lonely. She has me. I'm with her all the time."
Kate's dark brows went high and her mouth thinned. "I'm sure she's perfectly happy with you. I'm just thinking out loud. If she's physically healthy, then her problem could be emotional. Or she's just in a funk—maybe she misses her work, being busy all the time."
"She's busy here." He winced at the defensive tone in his voice. Why was he getting all worked up?
"Look," Kate said, exasperation lacing her tone, "you're the one who said to come by. Don't get mad at me just because I'm throwing possibilities out there. It's better than doing nothing."
Instant indignation shot to the surface. "What are you saying? I'm doing nothing for her?"
"No. Not saying that at all. You're worried about her. It's obvious you love her and want the best, so you don't have to go on the attack. I'm not attacking you, Devin. I'm not the enemy." Her cheeks had turned pink and her eyes were bright and irate. Oh, she was mad, practically fuming. "You're lucky I'm going to let your crappy attitude slide."
"Oh you are?"
"Yeah, I am. See, I'm actually a pretty nice person, even when some guy I barely know is being an asshole."
Chapter 4
As Kate stood there, fuming, she wondered if she was being too hard on him. It was pretty obvious from his reactions that Hildie's handler, Devin's best friend, had been lost, a trauma he still wasn't over. "Anyway," she said, softer, her ire deflating, "think about it. She might like to work again is all I'm saying. Obviously, she's very intelligent, having done the job she's done. Maybe you can teach her to herd or put a pack on her and she can carry your tools and water. Some animals like having a job, like staying engaged. Or you could get another dog, that might help."
Devin took a moment to digest her words. While he did, a sense of depression came over her.
She'd given his bad attitude the benefit of the doubt. Had been understanding. But maybe that was part of her problem. She'd repeatedly done the same thing with Holden. Though Holden and Devin were like day and night. Holden had never gone to war, seen horrors, lost friends… No. Holden and Devin weren't even close. So maybe it was a mistake to lump them together. Maybe she should be giving him a lot understanding.
It was clear Devin loved Hildie. The devastation that flashed in his eyes when he mentioned his friend, the horror at the very idea he might have failed Hildie in some way—that was where his harsh tone and defensiveness had come from. And she thought anima
ls were easy to read. Devin MacLaren was an open book. All one had to do was look into his eyes, look past the quietness, the hot bod and rugged face, and they'd see a wounded man.
Maybe it wasn't just Hildie who needed help.
After leaving it at that and telling Devin she had to go, Kate left the farmhouse.
"No, no, no," she muttered to herself as she walked the bike down the lane. "Not getting involved. Not getting involved." She knew well her weakness for wounded animals. She'd always been drawn in, rescuing birds, mice, bunnies, and anything else she found in her backyard or neighborhood growing up on Long Island. Once she moved to the city, starting her own pet business had been a no-brainer. It had begun with pet sitting gigs, then walking, then grooming, until she had a good reputation and enough repeat clients to open her own place.
A place that had crumbled in the wake of Holdenmort.
And now she had to start over. She had enough on her plate.
When she reached the dirt road, she decided on biking on in the opposite direction of her cottage, curious as to what lay on the other side of the high hill. Cresting the top, the land dipped in a gentle slope toward the loch again, the road continuing on to meander along the loch's edge. The ruins of the old Castle MacLaren sat at the bottom of the hill, on a piece of land that jutted into the loch.
Instead of going down, she pushed the bike onto the grass, noticing the beaten down footpath that led to a spot where the hill dropped off dramatically, giving her the perfect view of the ruins and the loch. Kate sat down in the grass and just stared, stared until tears pricked her eyes and her heart hurt.
"Love this spot."
Kate jerked at the sound of Devin's voice, immediately wiping her eyes.
"Are you crying?" Concerned, he sat beside her and Kate wanted to die of embarrassment.
"It's not what you think."
"What? That I was not being an ass just now? That you gave me your time and I acted like I didn't appreciate it?"
"All true," she said with a wan smile, finally looking at him. Hildie was sitting in the grass next to him. "But, no, that's not why I'm crying."
He stayed quiet for a moment, staring out over the ruins and the loch. "Well, for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I don't usually treat people that way…" She could tell by how uncomfortable he sounded that those words were probably true. "Usually just avoid people altogether these days."
At her glance, he gave her a solemn shrug. She could relate. "Not fit for company, huh?"
"Something like that."
"Yeah. Me neither." She wiped at her eyes, drew in a deep breath, and smiled. "Shitty times, basically."
He nodded as though he understood. "Can't be all that bad, is it?" He leaned back on his hands and stretched his legs out in front of him.
Kate snorted. "Twelve years worth of work and money, my entire business, lost. Yeah. It's that bad."
Dev let out a heavy breath and sat back up. "Twelve years is a long time."
"Tell me about it. Things were going good, too. Expanding. And I didn't even see it coming. Okay, well, maybe there were signs, but I was too stupid to add them up. Or maybe I just didn't want to see."
"What happened?"
Kate looked over again. He had a nice face. Rugged. Straight nose, good bones, sexy mouth. There were crinkles around his eyes and a wicked slant to his eyebrows. But it was those solemn, honest eyes that won her over, and she found herself talking, telling him everything and ending with her trip here.
"It's a good place to come. I don't know what it is… The land, the views, the air. Quiets the soul."
Kate gave him a surprised look.
"What?" A grin pulled on one corner of his mouth, snagging her attention.
"That's pretty deep."
He didn't elaborate or explain and it only made her more curious about him. He was a soldier, a carpenter, a dog lover, a Scot—well, half Scot, but still… And apparently he was pretty deep, too.
She stood suddenly, spurred on by a bit of panic, by the emotions he made her feel. She didn't want to feel anything. "I probably should go."
Dev rose and picked up her bike, his hands resting on the handle bars. "You don't have to leave, Kate."
She grabbed the bike, but he didn't let go. "Yeah. I do." If he knew the things going through her mind, he'd probably dive right off the ledge they were on. "See ya around." He released the bike.
She left without looking back.
Once on the road, she hopped on the bike and coasted down the hill, heading toward the cottage. As much as she'd fantasized about coming to Scotland and finding love, now was not the time, In fact, it was the worst time possible. Figures. Because Devin MacLaren could definitely be a contender.
Dev stood in the middle of the road and watched Kate disappear down the hill. He hadn't liked what she'd told him. Her entire business ruined by a friend, some asswipe who'd used her, betrayed her, and took everything she had. No wonder she hadn't taken any of his crap. Good for her. Of course now he felt even worse for the way he'd treated her.
As he started down the hill, he thought of the tension between them. A current, a snap of electricity. Question was, would he do anything about it? He wanted to. He wanted to do a lot about it. But she had too much on her plate. She was vulnerable. Though, she hadn't seemed so vulnerable when she let him have it back at the house. Maybe Kate could handle herself just fine.
And maybe, just maybe, he could admit to himself that he was tired of being alone. Tired of working himself to the bone all day and evening, then falling into bed at night so exhausted that he was out as soon as his head hit the pillow. There was a reason he pushed himself so hard. Being exhausted meant no mental drifting before he fell asleep. Mental drifting usually led to nightmares. Sometimes being exhausted worked. Sometimes it didn't. Sometimes the nightmares came anyway.
And sometimes they came in the light of day, like a bloody freight train, fast and clear as day, without warning. He'd have to sit down where he stood. His body would shake and break into a sweat. And Hildie, beautiful brave Hildie—who'd walked in front of his unit sniffing out bombs, looking for trouble, doing her job without fail—would sit down beside him, lean into him, and lick his face until his arm went around her and he calmed down.
She knew. She sensed his distress and she cared. And it burned him that now, when she was obviously in need, he didn't know how to return the favor.
"We're a mess, aren't we, girl?" She glanced up at him, tongue lolling as he scrubbed the fur on her head. "So what'd ya say? You want to work? Give this a try? Maybe we'll find you a friend, too, huh? A brother or sister." She looked at him with such belief and loyalty. "We'll figure it out. You and me."
Chapter 5
Kate spent the rest of the day at the cottage. She took a nap on the terrace lounge chair, made lunch, dipped her toes into the loch, and refilled the Scottish Terrier's plate. 'Terry' had been lurking around her cottage all day, always on the outskirts, seeming like he desperately wanted to enter her realm, but didn't dare. She called to him a few times, set out the plate so he could see it, and waited.
By early afternoon, success.
The plate was on the stone threshold, the door wide open, so the dog could see her inside of the kitchen. As he ate, she sat down on the floor, to appear as un-threatening as possible, and waited. After he finished his meal, she was rewarded with a paw over the threshold and a whine. She knew he wanted to be friends. "Come on, boy. I won't hurt you."
It took a few minutes, but Terry finally came inside, sniffed her hand and knee, and then put his head against her chest. Kate was a goner. She returned his show of affection and was once again reminded of why she loved dogs and why she so often chose animals over people.
"You need a bath, mister." He was thin and matted and stunk to high heaven. "Thank goodness that's my specialty, eh?"
Soon, Terry was bathed, dried, combed, and trimmed. He was thin, but she could remedy that. "And you're gonna have a new friend. A pretty Germ
an Shepherd. Her name is Hildie. And she needs a pal. Okay, bud? How does that sound?" She gave him a good scratch behind the ears and decided now was as good a time as any to introduce them.
Terry didn't stray from her side as she closed up the cottage and began walking toward Devin's house. She only made it a few feet down the road before Hamish's old truck rumbled up beside her.
"I see you've made a new friend," he called, leaning his elbow out the window.
"Do you know him?"
"Haven't seen him before."
"He doesn't have a collar. Looks like he's been lost or abandoned. Was a mess before I bathed him."
Hamish regarded the dog for a long moment. "Where ye headed?"
"I'm taking him to Devin's. Another dog, a friend, might help Hildie I think."
"Ah. Fine idea, Kate." He scrubbed his beard, thinking. "But ye willna be finding Dev that way. He's clear across the estate, at the lodge. It's a ways… I can take ye."
Kate smiled. "That'd be great. Thanks, Hamish."
Hamish wasn't kidding.
The lodge was farther than she thought it'd be, and nestled deep in the wooded hills alongside a rushing creek. During the drive, Kate learned all about the estate, the glory days when the lodge was used by "The" MacLaren and his aristocratic friends. As the building came into view, Kate sucked in a breath. "Wow. It's gorgeous. Much bigger than I thought. It looks like Balmorie, the Victorian part of it. Just on a smaller scale."
"She'll be a fine sight when Dev's finished restoring her." Hamish parked out front. "Off ye go, lass. Dev'll be inside. I'm needed back at the main house."
Kate got out and Terry followed. "Thanks for the ride."
He laughed, his eyes flashing with pleasure and something else that looked a lot like mischief. "Anytime, lass."
Kate stepped back and waited for him to pull away, but he shooed her toward the house, content to wait and watch her go inside. With a wave, she called to Terry, and stepped through the lodge's open door. The smell of fresh sawdust hit her first. Flood lights lit the large hall. The floor was covered with canvas tarps and stacks of lumber sat in piles. Despite the construction chaos, Kate could see the lodge was something special.
A Scot Like You (The MacLarens of Balmorie, 2) Page 3