She spun and started walking away before thinking better of it. Avoiding him now would make her more of a jerk than she'd already been. With a deep breath in and reluctant breath out, she finally turned around only to find Dev standing there barely winded.
Her stomach did an elaborate flip. She swallowed. He really was a beautiful man. If only that was all there was to him, but there was so much more. So much she was filled with emotion—hurt, confusion, fear, exhilaration. Devin MacLaren disrupted everything.
And more than anything, at that moment, Kate wanted out. Wanted him gone. Wanted to breathe normally. "Look, sorry about all that—"
"Hamish stole the spark plugs from my truck," he said at the same time.
Kate blinked. "What?"
"Hamish," he explained. "He's a little obsessed with the whole matchmaking thing since Ian and Lucy got together. Point is, I can't drive you back."
She hadn't asked him to. Being in a confined space with Devin was the last thing she wanted. "I was, uh, already walking back. It's fine."
"It's a long way."
"I remember."
An awkwardness settled between them. She wasn't a fan of awkward. She'd rather be caught skinny dipping again than this.
He scratched the back of his head, looking a bit perplexed and confused. "It'll be dark soon."
"Yep." She glanced at the beautiful sky awash in color. "I'm not afraid to walk in the dark. There's nothing around for miles. And I have Terry with me."
"All right."
Relief washed over her. Thank goodness. She gave Devin a quick nod, turned, and started down the road. He fell in step beside her. "What are you doing?"
"Walking back. Need my spark plugs."
Hildie and Terry ran ahead, and for a long time the only sound between them was the crunch of their shoes on the road and the occasional call of wildlife. The twilight grabbed Kate's attention. It was soft and muted and gave a fragile quality to the landscape around them. This was the gloaming she'd always read about in Gram's books. And here she was walking in it with a Highlander by her side.
"Lucy's taken some amazing pictures," Devin said, casting a look to the sky. "Right after sunset. Those are my favorites."
"The gloaming. Is that how you say it?" she asked, hoping her pronunciation was right.
"Aye."
She smiled at his response. "You know you go back and forth between accents."
He digested that and gave a consenting shrug. "We all do, my brothers and I."
"Was it hard? Deciding to live here rather than back home? Lucy said your mom is back there."
Devin thought for a moment. "In some ways it was. In others, easy. I've been away so long already... My mom loves it here. She would've been disappointed if we'd sold the land." A soft laugh escaped him. "Disappointed is a nice word for what she'd have been." They continued on a few more steps before Devin continued. "The place is special to her. Lots of memories of us and my dad here. She might be sixth generation American, but she's mostly Scot. Think it gives her a lot of pride that we're here, back on home soil."
Kate caught Devin's eye and smiled at the slight embarrassment in his tone. He wasn't a guy who talked much about his family, about what they, and the land, meant. "I bet she's really proud of you. Of all her sons." And she'd get to meet the woman at Lucy's wedding. Not only was Lucy's life changing, but so was Kate's—dramatically so. "Can't believe Lucy is getting married and will live—" she swept her hand to the panoramic view— "here. Raise her kids here. Can you imagine?" It was amazing, the way life could change so quickly. "And one day I'll be an aunt. Sort of. Second cousin really."
The idea of mini Lucys running around brought a well of happiness to Kate. Of course that meant she was linked to Devin and the entire MacLaren family forever. A sobering thought, especially considering the start they'd gotten off to.
And the kiss. God, that kiss…
The instant she thought of it, her body went nervous and warm. He'd kissed her back. He'd pleaded with her to keep her mouth on his and she understood why. Because it had worked. Because it had pulled him out of whatever dark hell he'd fallen into.
He'd kissed her like she was his lifeline, and in that moment she had been. It hadn't been that long ago that she'd dreamed of Holden kissing her like that, to feel a man put everything he had in it, to lose himself, to be consumed. An inward sigh blew through her. There had to come a time in her life when she'd find a guy who was so into her, he'd kiss like that, not because of an anxiety attack, but solely because of her. Like nothing else mattered. Like she was all that mattered.
Ha. Fat chance of that, her inner cynic shot back.
"What's so funny?"
"What?"
"You just snorted," Devin told her.
Kate frowned. "Girls don't snort." His brows lifted, but he remained silent. "Okay, fine, we do."
After a while Devin spoke up again. "Sorry about before…" Kate glanced over quickly, catching his wry smile. "Don't usually do that in front of people. Embarrassing as hell," he admitted, letting out a heavy sigh.
There went her pulse again. "No need to apologize."
"Well, for what it's worth. Thanks."
Kate winced. Did he just thank her for kissing him? "Really. It was nothing…"
Devin's soft, sheepish chuckle made her cheeks hot. "It was more than that. A lot more."
They fell quiet again. She could tell he wanted to say more, but either he wasn't sure how to say what he wanted or he was showing mercy and letting it end on that lovely note.
Which was fine by her.
It took over an hour, if not more—she was pretty sure it was more, way more—to make it back to the road leading to her cottage. The moon was high and bright. And the sky was dark and full of shiny stars—she'd never seen them so clearly before. The air had turned cool and damp, thick with the scents of the outdoors and the loch close by. It made her feel alive and young, the atmosphere reminding her of late summer nights, hanging with Lucy and Riley, and the parties Riley would take them to in the woods and river near her house.
Walking in the night with Devin hadn't been as bad as it had started out. In fact, it was . . . nice. Having a big, strong man by her side, no pressure to carry on a conversation, just enjoying the peace and the beauty around them.
"You sure you don't want me to walk you to the cottage?" Devin asked.
"No, me and Terry can make it from here."
"Terry?"
"Terry. Ter. T-Dog. I'll use them all at some point."
Devin laughed, leaned down, and gave the Terry of Many Names a few strokes on the head as the dog pushed against his leg. "See ya later Big T." He straightened and gave her a thoughtful look. "So play date tomorrow?"
Play date? Totally not what she'd been expecting. In fact, distance was what she'd promised herself. Not doggie play dates.
"I think you're right about Hildie," he added. "Seeing her play today . . . she was happy." He cleared his throat. "She could use more time like that."
Damn it. How could she turn him down now? "Sure. A play date is fine."
His crooked grin glowed in the darkness. "I have a full day tomorrow," he said, his schedule seeming to dawn on him. "Morning or night work better for you?"
"Morning," she burst out. "Definitely morning."
"Great I'll come by around seven, is that too early?" Hell yes. This was her vacation. Seven was way too early. "Seven's fine."
Before she realized what he was doing, Devin stepped forward, put his hand on her hip, and kissed her cheek like it was the most natural thing in the world. "Thanks, Kate."
That warm, deep voice near her ear made her insides swoon. "Uh huh," she barely croaked as he walked away.
"Doggie play dates at seven in the morning. Who does that?" Kate grumbled to no one as she poured her second cup of coffee of the morning and then leaned against the kitchen counter. Terry sat in front of her expectantly. Like he knew something grand was going to happen today and he couldn't
wait. "Better yet, who does that and then is forty minutes late?"
Terry cocked his head. So cute. Kate reached down and gave him some love. "You know what? If the date won't come to us, we'll go to the date."
As she opened the door to let Terry out and slip on her sneakers, her irritation grew. If he was snoozing away in bed after making her get up at seven—seven!—she was going to kill him.
As she biked down the road, a small voice urged her to turn back. This was what she wanted after all. Distance. Devin not showing up was a good thing, so why was she chasing him down? Why was she being pulled toward his house? The thought of seeing him again made her stomach turn like a fun house ride and it wasn't pleasant. And, yet, she kept pedaling.
By the time she arrived at his door, she was out of breath, sweating, and pissed off.
He'd gotten his truck back apparently because it was sitting in the driveway. Which meant he was home. Kate knocked on the front door. And waited. No answer. She marched around to the terrace and knocked at the back door, the pressure causing the door to open. It hadn't been latched all the way. As the door swung open, a thread of concern wound down her back. "Stay," she told Terry, not wanting him to invade Hildie's space on their first play date. Weird that Hildie wasn't there, meeting them at the door...
"Devin?" she called, stepping inside.
With every empty room, Kate grew more worried. She paused at the bottom of the stairs, took a deep breath, and walked up. "Devin?"
Kate froze as the sound of a thud and a voice echoed down the hall. Shit. What if he was in bed with someone, and here she was stalking him inside his own home. What had she been thinking? She turned to go. A voice, Devin's voice came again. No. That didn't sound like sex. That sounded like a bad dream.
Making a quick decision, Kate hurried down the hall. She paused at the threshold to the open bedroom. Heavy curtains made the room dark. The bed was at the far wall across from a large stone fireplace. Devin was on his back in boxer briefs, legs sprawled, one arm flung over his face.
He jerked, then muttered.
"Devin." Kate approached the bed slowly while everything in her wanted to turn tail and run. And where was Hildie? She was pretty sure if the dog was here, she'd be on top of the bed barking until Devin woke up. "Devin," she said louder and stronger.
"Don't—" he muttered, dreaming. "Damn it, don't go," he groaned, low and quiet. So raw.
Kate bit her lip, knowing she had to do something. "Devin," she said one more time as she walked up to the bed and nudged his thigh, hoping to wake him.
He was off the bed so fast, hand on her throat, twisting her body and slamming her down on the mattress before Kate could even blink.
Fear and adrenaline shot through her like lightning, and it took a moment to get her bearings.
Okay. He wasn't squeezing, thank goodness. His hand was splayed on her throat and collar bone, holding her down. His whole body holding her down. There was no way she could get him off; he was a heavy, hard wall of muscle.
His nose was nearly touching hers and he was breathing hard. But then so was she. She had no idea if he was awake and she was too afraid to speak up, too afraid to move. Tears stung her eyes. Bad mistake. Very bad mistake. Damn it, Hildie, where are you?
"It's okay," he whispered in a ragged tone, lowering his forehead to hers. "I know who you are. I know who you are." His words broke her heart. "I'm sorry."
Devin's other hand was gripping her thigh. He removed it and slid to the side so his weight was no longer directly on top of her. But he still hovered over her, his arms on either side of her. He smoothed back her hair, brushed the tears that had leaked from the corners of her eyes, and let out a heavy exhale. "I'm sorry."
Her heart fucking hurt. Her hands went to his sides and around his back. She needed a hug, needed to give comfort and be comforted. As soon as he felt her hands on him, he fell onto his back and pulled her with him, holding on tight. "I forgot to set my alarm," he tried to explain in the darkness, his voice a little shaky.
Kate shook her head. It was okay, but she couldn't seem to open her mouth. She just buried her head deeper into the crook of Devin's neck.
Chapter 8
As Dev held Kate, he wondered if he was doomed to appear weak and screwed up where she was concerned. He might as well add frightening to the list, too, since he'd scared her to tears.
Brilliant. Bloody brilliant.
It was on the tip of his tongue to apologize again, but he held silent. She wouldn't want to hear it.
Dev smoothed a strand of hair away and kissed her forehead without thinking. Apples again. The scent of her shampoo made him close his eyes and breathe in deeply. Unable to help himself, his fingers threaded through her thick black hair, wrapping it around his hand. Kate snuggled in closer, her front pressed against his side, her hand coming to rest on chest. He swallowed as emotions rose up, threatening to swamp him.
He liked her here like this. More than he should.
Ever since seeing Kate in all her bare glory, Dev hadn't had any trouble imagining her in his bed. But he never imagined it like this.
The jingle of Hildie's tags on her collar and claws on wood made Kate lift her head. Dev scooted up to rest his back against the headboard as both dogs entered the room, tongues lolling, eyes bright. Happy. Kate sat all the way up. "I thought she'd be in here," she said quietly. "With you."
"I leave the back door unlatched so she can let herself out and get back in." He scratched at the stubble along his jaw. "I usually get up before, though…"
She looked down at him and slowly withdrew her hand from his chest. He waited, wondering what she'd say. If she'd hop off the bed, straighten her clothes, and act like everything was all right. If she'd give him hell… "You dream like that all the time?" she asked.
"No. Not like I used to." As a guy who didn't give much thought to modesty or nakedness, suddenly he felt self-conscious and vulnerable under her solemn blue gaze.
"I shouldn't have woken you like that."
"I shouldn't have tossed you on the bed." Her lips dipped into a wry smile. "I wouldn't have hurt you, Kate," he added quietly. The uncertainty in her eyes made him wince inside. "As soon as I touched you, I knew it was you." Of course, he'd moved so fast that touching her and having her flat on her back were pretty much instantaneous.
"You held me down."
He shook his head. "I know. It wasn't my intention. You were already under me, and I . . . I just needed to be still for a second. Give myself a minute to wake up, gather my wits." He dragged a hand through his hair. "But I put you in that position. I should have moved off. I'm not used to having someone here. It's not an excuse and I'm sorry…"
She was biting her lip and staring at him with an unreadable look, but it felt like she could see inside of him, see all the things he didn't want her, or anyone else, to see. Christ. She'd seen enough already.
Hildie and Terry stared at them, both dogs sitting on the floor, just waiting for a word, a gesture. Dev smiled at them and noticed Kate had shifted her attention and was smiling at them too.
"I think they want to come up," she said.
"Yeah. You're in Hil's spot."
Even though it was dim in the room, Kate could see the crooked grin on Devin's face and her heart tripped over. She swallowed. Leaning back against the headboard, in his boxer briefs, all that hard muscle on display. His rumpled hair, the morning stubble on his jaw, and those bad-ass tattoos; he had no idea the picture or the temptation he presented. And, worse, she was in Hildie's spot, which only made Devin even more appealing. He lets his dog sleep on the bed. It spoke volumes to Kate. She'd done the same with her old lab, Ranger, when he was alive.
Kate blinked and turned back to the dogs, feeling off-kilter and confused. Devin made her feel too many things at once. She'd held onto him before and had felt safe and hurt and connected and scared. How was that for chaotic?
And now she was sitting on his bed, pressed against his hip and thigh, like
they were a couple.
But it wasn't real. This picture. Them.
A small part of her countered that thought, asking why it couldn't be real. And Kate didn't have an answer.
When his hand slid down her arm and took her hand, she jumped, realizing she'd been staring into space. She wished he wouldn't touch her. Everything went crazy when he did. He tugged so she'd look at him.
"Thank you," he said.
"Why are you thanking me?"
He shrugged. "Because you gave a damn. Because you tried. It's not a part of me I want anyone to see. I'd rather you hadn't. But I do appreciate you wanting to help."
"Let me guess. If you had it your way, you'd deal with everything all on your own. Not let anyone see your grief."
His jaw went tight and Kate wondered why she had to push it, why she cared in the first place. Why didn't she just say "you're welcome" and get the hell out of there?
"That's the plan," he replied with a slight edge.
"You let Hildie in. You're not totally alone. Maybe it's not such a bad idea to let someone else in, too."
Tension came over his expression. "You offering?"
Kate flinched. She could feel herself go pale. No. Of course not. She wasn't offering. She didn't want to be the one he leaned on, the one he let in. She was just . . . what was she doing? Did she want to be the one? As soon as the question presented itself, she knew, deep down, she did. She wanted to be the one to make him grin like the devil, to feel safe and not alone, to hold him, give him strength…
Holy crap.
Her heart pounded. She couldn't breathe. She frowned at him, shaking her head, telling him "no" with her look. A look she was pretty sure bordered on horrified.
She scrambled off the bed as Devin reached for her. "Kate."
She stopped a few feet from the bed. "This was a mistake. I'm sorry. Again. I keep saying that, don't I?" Panic made her voice tremble, made her want to run. "Maybe it's best we don't interact anymore."
A Scot Like You (The MacLarens of Balmorie, 2) Page 5