Not that they would waste two minutes wondering at her refusal, she thought wryly. The invitation had been no more than a social politeness. They would be far happier without her. She did not have to be in the room to see them together—Serena, beautiful and vivacious, laughing at Nicholas across the flickering light of the candle. Nicholas, lean and tanned and devastatingly attractive, enjoying the company of the woman who would soon be his wife. Not for Serena his arrogance and contempt and derision. Those qualities were reserved only for Kelly.
Under no circumstances would she share a meal with them. Yet the thought of their candlelit intimacy brought a pain which was like a knife in her chest.
When she had had something to eat, Kelly found more work to keep her busy. It occurred to her that she could go to the verandah and look for Andrew, but the idea of spending the evening in the engineer's company, much as she liked him, was unappealing. There would be a facade to keep up, a constant air of bright unconcern, for not far way, Nicholas and Serena would be sharing a table of their own. Kelly was in no mood for facades.
It was almost ten o'clock when she lifted her head from a cabinet she was sorting. Her back was stiff and her head was throbbing—fatigue, she decided. She had been on the go since dawn, with almost no respite. That Nicholas could be the main cause of her discomfort was something she did not even want to consider.
Through the scent-filled darkness she walked to the cottage. A light burned at the door, but the living-room was empty. In the bedroom she took off her shoes and lay down on the bed. She was so tired that the effort to bath and brush her teeth and change into a nightgown was beyond her. In a while she would get ready for bed, but first she needed a few minutes of rest...
The smell of coffee was aromatic, tantalising. Slowly Kelly opened her eyes. It was light. Vaguely she remembered lying down on her bed to rest. She must have fallen asleep and left the light on.
Quite suddenly instinct told her that she was not alone in the room. Green eyes opened warily. A tall figure stood beside the bed, bronzed and muscled and almost unbearably virile. In his hand was a mug with the steam rising from it, in his eyes a mocking amusement that sent the blood racing through her sleep-sluggish veins.
He did not speak, and for a long moment no words came from her own lips. In a rush the events of the evening flooded her mind, and she understood that she had slept the night through and that it was now morning. What was not yet clear was how she came to be beneath the blankets. She sat up, meaning to ask him the question, when she saw, to her horror, that she was clad in a pale-pink nightgown. It was the most diaphanous garment she possessed. With a little gasp she clutched the sheet to her chin.
'An unnecessary action in the circumstances.'
For one wild moment there had been the hope that she had in fact woken some time during the night, just long enough to get undressed and slip between the sheets. But the clipped statement, coupled with the wicked gleam in dark intelligent eyes, put paid to the notion.
'You couldn't have... I mean, did you...?' Kelly was stammering in her confusion. The fact that warmth was flooding her cheeks with colour did not add to her composure.
'Of course.'
'You shouldn't have,' she protested shakily.
His voice was dry. 'It was a pleasure.' And then, as colour burned even brighter in her cheeks, Nicholas said mockingly, 'If it's any consolation, it was by no means the first time I've seen a naked female. ^He paused, and she saw the gleam lighting the dark eyes. 'Though not all possessed bodies which were quite as desirable as yours.'
'You find me desirable?' The words were out before she could stop them.
He laughed softly. 'Are you asking me to prove it to you again?'
Yes! The knowledge came that she wanted it more than she had ever wanted anything in her life. Her every nerve and fibre trembled with the desire to have him make love to her. It was a revelation which brought her no joy.
'No,' she said tautly, keeping her eyes down lest he read the expression which must be clear to anybody as perceptive as Nicholas. She curled her fingers in her palms, and willed her voice to emerge loud and firm. 'Get out of here, Nicholas. I can't help what happened last night. But I do want some privacy while I get dressed.'
Her heart did a double-leap as a hand cupped her chin, forcing her face upwards. Grey eyes looked down into green ones. There was no drawing away, no possibility for concealment, for there was something compelling about the dark eyes that brooked no defiance. Kelly's heart hammered against her ribs, and there was a hard lump in her throat, making it difficult to swallow. Later she was to wonder if she remembered to breathe.
After what seemed eternity but might well have been only seconds, the grip on her chin relaxed, and Kelly was able to draw away and look down again, but not before she saw the glimmer of what could only be satisfaction in the rugged-featured face.
He left her without a word and went out of the room. For a long time Kelly sat quite still. Even after she heard the outer door of the cottage close, she did not move. There was a buzzing in her head and her limbs were trembling. Above all there was a leaden feeling of disappointment. No matter that she fought Nicholas, that she seemed unable to exchange a dozen civil words with him, she could not deny to herself the knowledge that she had wanted —desperately wanted—to feel the hardness of his against hers.
As she walked up to the hotel in the pre-dawn light she wondered when Mary would come. She could only hope that it would be early. She could not endure even one more day in the presence of Nicholas Van Mijden. Lifting her left hand, she looked at the diamond on her third finger. Such a short time since she had seen Gary, and already he was assuming an insubstantial quality in her mind. The engagement itself seemed almost unreal. It was with a pang of dismay that she realised how little she had thought of her fiance in the time that she had been at Great Peaks Lodge. Not that that was cause for concern, she told herself firmly. It was understandable that she had thought only fleetingly of Gary, for with Nicholas's unnerving maleness ever-near there was little opportunity to think of anyone else.
This did not mean that Gary's importance in her life had diminished. Had she been disloyal to him? No ... Yes! The intensity of her longing for someone other than her fiance could not be called anything else. When she reached Durban she and Gary would resume their relationship where they had left off. She would be as loving and considerate as she knew how, and hope that in this way she could atone for the manner in which her senses had betrayed him. She would never tell Gary of the emotional upheaval she had experienced at Great Peaks Lodge. To do so would not only hurt him, it would jeopardise any chance of their future happiness together.
In thinking this way she was considering Gary. But what of herself? she wondered with a feeling close to despair. With herself she could afford to be honest. Would she ever forget Nicholas Van Mijden and the surge of emotions he had stirred within her? Would the madness that ran through her veins leave her when she was free to go? Or would she be haunted for all time by the memory of a tall man with rugged features and steady grey eyes, so that nobody else in her life would ever quite measure up to him? Come soon, Mary, she pleaded silently. Because if you don't there may be no hope for me.
Mary arrived after breakfast. She was pale and drawn, and though she smiled and was friendly it was clear that the time she had spent since leaving the hotel had been filled with anxiety. George had been more seriously injured than had first been thought, she told Kelly and Nicholas, as she sat with them at a table in a corner of the verandah. He had had one operation, and needed another, but he was weak and shocked, and the doctors wanted to wait a few days before proceeding.
'I can't thank you enough,' she said, changing the subject, and turning to Kelly, 'you don't know how much your being here has meant to me.'
'I couldn't make up for you,' Kelly said simply, 'but I tried my best.'
'You did more than that.' The pale face brightened in a warm smile. 'You've done a wonderful job
, according to Nicholas.'
'N-Nicholas said that?' Kelly turned, and for the first time since the scene in the bedroom a few hours earlier, she looked directly at him. His mouth was curved in the slightest hint of a smile, and there was something in his eyes which was neither mockery nor amusement. It was the merest flicker of expression, one which would have meant nothing to Kelly had she seen it in anyone else. In Nicholas, however, the expression was enough to send her pulses racing and to fill her heart with an absurd happiness.
Through a blur she heard his voice. 'When you've had something to eat, I'll drive you back to town, Mary.'
'Back...? Nick, I can't go back I I'm needed here.'
'You're needed at the hospital. You know you want to be with George.'
The blur receded as Kelly sat up straighter and listened hard to what was being said.
'I do want to be with George...' Mary sounded uncertain. 'Oh, but that's impossible...'
'Kelly has coped very well until now.' Kelly might have taken the words as a compliment if he had looked at her, even briefly, and if his tone had not been quite so casual. 'There's no reason why she can't carry on as before.'
If it was possible for Kelly's heart to beat even faster, then it did just that. She could not have moved, not have spoken. Fortunately she did not need to. The conversation was between Mary and Nicholas, and neither one glanced in her direction.
'Now you are being absurd, Nick,' Mary reproached him. 'I appreciate what Kelly's done- she's been marvellous. But I can't impose on her any further.'
'I don't see why not.' A lazy drawl.
'Because ... Well, for one thing she must have plans of her own.'
'None that can't wait.' And before Kelly could draw breath at the outrageousness of the remark, Nicholas went on, 'And if you're going to tell me that the daughter of Robert Stanwick wouldn't work, that holds no water.' An undeserved hardness edged his voice. 'Besides, you'll recall that Kelly had something to do with the predicament you and George are in now.'
'That's only true up to a point.' Mary spoke firmly but without bitterness. 'George is an adult. He knew what he was doing. He could have refused.' She paused. 'Besides, Kelly has already done more than was necessary to make up for what happened.'
'I wish you'd look upon my help as an act of friendship.' Kelly spoke into the tiny silence that followed Mary's words.
The woman turned to her uncomprehendingly. 'You can't mean...'
Til stay here as long as I'm needed.'
Later Kelly was to wonder which had come first, the words or the decision itself. She kept her eyes firmly on Mary, refusing to meet the hard gaze in the rugged-featured face not more than a yard away. If Nicholas felt that he had scored a victory, she would not give him the satisfaction of letting her see it.
'Your fiance—won't mind?'
'Gary will understand.' For the first time Kelly looked at Nicholas, throwing him .a glance of taunting defiance. There was an answering sparkle in the grey eyes which momentarily disconcerted her. Deliberately she turned back to Mary. Quietly she said, 'Your place is with George.'
'Oh, Kelly! You don't know...' There was a sob in Mary's voice as the words trailed away. Wide brown eyes shone with a dazed kind of happiness, and in the pale cheeks was a suggestion of returning colour.
A lump formed in Kelly's throat at sight of the other girl's emotion. Not until now had she fully understood the love which existed between Mary and her husband. It came to her in the same moment that this was a kind of love that she herself might never know. Her relationship with Gary was on another level altogether.
Against her will, and completely without thinking, her glance went to Nicholas. He was watching her. His expression was steady and watchful, and for once there was not a hint of the mockery she so hated. For no reason at all the lump in her throat hardened.
'I don't know what to say—except thank you. You've been wonderful, both of you.' A grateful smile embraced Kelly and Nicholas. And then, as a new thought struck Mary. 'Incidentally, when I was passing the desk Joe said every room was occupied. You shouldn't have given up your room, Nick.'
'I don't believe in turning customers away.' A casual note.
'But this way you have to drive up to Nicholas's farm every night.'
Kelly held her breath. So Mary did not know that they were sharing the cottage. Now was the time to tell her, to express her outrage and humiliation. Strangely the words did not come. Then she heard Nicholas say, just as casually as before, 'Don't think about it, Mary, you've enough to worry about as it is.'
Slowly, carefully, Kelly slanted him a look. The eyes that met hers held an enigmatic expression which she could not quite define. She lifted her chin in a token of defiance, but her heart was thudding against her ribs, and she was the first to break the gaze.
CHAPTER EIGHT
IT was a relief when Nicholas left with Mary. As Kelly busied herself with the tasks that were beginning to assume an aspect of routine, her mind was a chaotic whirl of conflicting thoughts.
She tried very hard to hold on to the expression which had warmed Mary's face when she realised that she could go back to George. But it was not easy, for intruding itself was a lean tanned face with eyes that were almost too perceptive. She was glad she could be of help to the Andersons, Kelly told herself as she pushed a tendril of hair from her forehead with a flustered hand. There was a depth of devotion between the couple which she had seldom seen before, and which moved her deeply.
But apart from the fact that she was being of use, Kelly acknowledged her own happiness at the chance to remain on at Great Peaks Lodge—a happiness which was quite absurd in the face of her earlier impatience to see Mary return. Even more absurd when she admitted to herself that it was a happiness which was concerned mainly with Nicholas.
Impossible to deny to herself that she was glad that the stay at Great Peaks Lodge had been extended. Each extra day here meant one more day spent with Nicholas. If this flash of honesty brought clarity to her thinking, it also brought pain. She was not so naive as to be unaware that Nicholas affected her more than any man she had ever met, that he was constantly in her thoughts, that when he was nearby there was a feverishness in her body, a desire for his touch.
She was attracted to him, very deeply attracted. It was an attraction which stemmed from the physical appeal which the man possessed in such measure. Kelly looked up from the linen she was sorting and stared bleakly into the distance. There could be nothing but physical attraction in her feelings for Nicholas. Anything else would be unthinkable.
Quite apart from the fact that she was already engaged, Nicholas himself was not interested in her. He was evidently as good as engaged to Serena de Jager. Kelly had no illusions that she could hold a candle to that woman in appearance.
Serena de Jager ... At the thought of the woman the last of Kelly's unreasoning happiness faded. Had she been quite mad, she wondered despairingly, to let a momentary flash of elation propel her into a foolish decision, which had not taken into account the futility of continuing an association with Nicholas? Just as she knew that there could be no future with him, she knew too that every day spent in his company made the possibility of eventual heartbreak more inevitable. That she had strong feelings where Nicholas was concerned was a fact she could no longer deny. But the feeling was not love, she told herself fiercely. It was all a matter of chemistry, of an inexplicable physical pull which grew stronger every day. But even if chemistry was all there was to it, it did not alter the fact that the day would come when she might find herself comparing any man she met with Nicholas. She had done so already with Gary and with Andrew. Both had lost in the comparison, and through no fault of theirs, for it would be a unique man .indeed who could match Nicholas Van Mijden, not only for arrogance and self-sufficiency, but also for the virile masculinity which he possessed in such measure. Kelly did not intend to spend the rest of her life making comparisons. She knew what she wanted— happiness with Gary, a contented marriage,
children.
Today's decision, she sensed uneasily, had placed the happiness of her marriage in jeopardy.
A little wildly she looked around her. Through the open window of the linen room she could see the forests and the mountains. The mist had lifted from the peaks, and the granite edges were sharply defined against the blueness of the African sky. Normally the view with its impression of timeless- ness and tranquillity brought Kelly a sense of contentment and perspective. But for once the view failed to move her.
She was in a trap. It was a good half hour since Nicholas and Mary had left Great Peaks Lodge. There was no way she could call them back to tell them that she had reversed her decision. The trap was of her own making. She could have refused to stay on—Mary herself had admitted that George was out of danger—but she hadn't done so.
Leaving the window, Kelly went back to the table and began to fold the towels. She would avoid Nicholas. As much as she could, she would mini-
mise all contact with him. If blind emotion had led her into a trap, conscious calculation would lessen the impact of its danger.
It was noon when Kelly saw a long white car streak up the drive of the hotel. Nicholas was back. There was a momentary tensing of muscles, then, quite deliberately, she forced herself to relax. She had made a decision and she would abide by it. She did not meet the car, and later when it was time to go to the kitchens she kept herself busy and refused to look towards the door where Nicholas could at any moment appear.
She wondered how she would avoid lunching with him. In the event it was simple. Nicholas was in a hurry, it seemed that he was needed at his farm. When Kelly sent word by one of the waiters that he should start without her, he did so. Through her relief at having achieved her objective, she was conscious of a disappointment which made her own meal, when she eventually sat down to it, lose its flavour.
Kelly's Man Page 10