“I feel fine,” she told him. “Well, kind of empty actually.”
“Yeah, that’s to be expected. Again, shifters process trauma in different ways and you’re so overwhelmed by everything that’s happened that your brain is distancing itself until ready to deal with what you’ve been through. It’ll take time.” He smiled again, deeper this time. “You have three loving mates to help you through that though.” With a friendly pat on her forearm, the medic then turned to Nathan. “Okay, your turn.”
Ryan held a hand out to Emily and she vacated her seat for Nathan. After pulling a blanket around her shoulders, he led her a few feet from Nathan and the medic. Scott stood between the two pairs, looking back and forth between them. Ryan cupped her face as he locked eyes with her.
“You’re going to get through this. We’ll help you, all of us. Don’t forget that. Mom and Dad will, everyone else at home. Doc Cobb. Everyone who’s here right now. We’ll all be there for you whenever you need anything. Anything at all.”
“I know.”
She did and despite how numb she felt at the moment she was grateful for the amazing support system she had. It made her wonder about the other shifters the pack had taken and how they’d cope with their sudden freedom. Those poor women had gone through hell, and faced way worse than she had. She was lucky in comparison, physically unscathed by her experience, and had loving mates to return to. The other women didn’t.
Tears pricked her eyes and Ryan sighed. “Em, oh baby, I want to take all that away. I don’t know how but it’s all I want to do.”
His words triggered something deep within her and the tears came. They struck hard, buckling her knees. Ryan embraced her tightly and she was aware of Scott joining them but she couldn’t see anything in her tear-bleared vision. As sobs viciously wracked her body, she heard her mates’ soothing voices but wasn’t able to answer them. Her throat burned and her chest felt so heavy under the onslaught of her crying but she couldn’t stop. Scott kissed her temple and whispered something in her ear and she wondered if she’d ever stop crying.
Chapter 7
“Ashlynn? Sweetheart, can you hear me?”
Blinking slowly, she forced her eyelids to part and her blurry vision cleared to reveal Ryder and Wayne sitting together at her side. Awareness dawned. She was in a hospital, evidenced by the whiteness around her and the antiseptic smell that filled her nostrils. The pups. When she tried to sit up nothing happened and she looked between her mates wildly.
“Are the pups okay? Please, tell me they’re okay.” Her voice cracked and sounded weak. Head pounding, she felt weak and wanted to sleep. She struggled to fight the feeling, needing to know about her babies.
Ryder gently placed his hand on her cheek as Wayne pressed her hand. They both looked upset and her heart raced with the fear she’d lost the pups. She’d been bleeding, she remembered that and the lump that formed in her throat threatened to cut off her air supply.
“They did an ultrasound,” Ryder began slowly, his voice low. She thought he sounded remorseful and tried to swallow but couldn’t. “There are three pups, fraternal triplets, and they’re fine. The amniotic sacs are intact and the doctor says they look perfectly fine.” He stroked her cheek tenderly, and the sad look in his eyes persisted. “There was a fourth pup that didn’t make it. I’m so sorry.”
Relief and sorrow tumbled through her in equal measure. Her throat relaxed somewhat as tears pricked her eyes. Wayne squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry too. But the other three are healthy and the doctor says he doubts you’ll have any further problems as long as you take it easy for the rest of the pregnancy.”
It was good news, it truly was. She mourned the lost pup and knew she always would. However, three healthy pups remained and she’d do all she could to ensure they stayed safe. Blinking at tears, not wanting her mates to be sad, she tried to force them away. Too many horrific things had happened. It was time to focus on the positive. She had three pups to look forward to, and two loving mates by her side. Only one uncertainty persisted and, while reluctant to voice the question that plagued her, she needed an answer.
“What about Mark?”
“He needed surgery and a ton of blood transfusions. The surgeon said it was touch-and-go for a bit but he pulled through. He’s going to be okay but he’s in for a long recovery.”
“Can I see him?”
Wayne didn’t seem eager to answer and looked to Ryder, who bowed his head before meeting her eyes and then, as he caressed her cheek, released a deep sigh.
“No one seems to know what’s going on. Hank has been talking with Garrett and there’s still confusion as to whether it’s a SASS or SIA matter.” When she frowned, he shook his head a little. “Damn, I forgot. So much happened while you were gone. Mark’s an SIA agent, in addition to a SASS agent.” She imagined her face held an utterly disbelieving look as Ryder shrugged. “Yeah, it threw us for a loop, too. We’ll explain everything to you when you’re up to it, but for now all I can tell you is that nobody seems to know what’s going on where Mark’s concerned. He’ll undoubtedly return to prison but we don’t know for how long. Hank is advocating for him.”
She had the impression both Ryder and Wayne weren’t as pleased as she was that Hank was fighting for Mark. While she hadn’t forgotten what Mark had done, she didn’t care about it any longer. Not after all she’d been through. Although it seemed unlikely to occur, all she wanted was all three of her mates with her as they anticipated the arrival of their pups. Tears stung her eyes again as a pang flipped her stomach. If Mark returned to jail, as Ryder seemed to believe he would, how would he see his pups? Ryder grasped the hand she reached out to him, and Wayne pressed the one he held. Sorrow at not being able to be with all three mates squeezed her heart and she clung to the two mates she could touch.
***
“I just can’t believe it. Mark and Logan are my brothers?”
“Yes,” Scott confirmed.
He sat closely beside Emily on the sofa, holding her hands, Nathan sat on her other side, his hand on her knee, with Ryan sitting on the coffee table, facing her, his hand on her other knee. They’d just arrived home, she insisting on making the drive as soon as the medics cleared both her and Nathan. She’d been unharmed during their encounter, truly just a little dehydrated and had only sustained a few minor scratches and abrasions during her battles with the rogue shifters. Nathan’s injuries were more intense yet not serious. He needed rest, they both did, and a few good meals to recoup the weight they’d lost, but neither had required hospitalization and they’d both wanted to return home as soon as possible.
As Ryan drove, Scott had called Jack and filled him in on what had happened, assuring him that although Ashlynn would need to spend a few days in hospital she was going to be okay. Emily had sat beside Nathan, holding his hand the entire way, even as she’d nodded off a few times. Exhaustion plagued her but she felt fine physically and was grateful she’d stopped crying. She felt as if she’d never cry again, as if she’d used up all the tears allotted for the rest of her life earlier at the compound. Her throat still hurt from all that crying though it had been soothed somewhat when the quartet had stopped in Moon Valley for coffee. Then Ryan had pulled into the diner and while the others waited, had gone in and purchased meals for them. Upon arriving home, he and Scott had insisted they all eat before discussing everything that had transpired since their kidnapping.
She’d heard of their cousins, Dustin and Zack, arriving to help out, about the deceit of Julian Grayson and how he was connected to Bossman, or Logan as they now knew. Scott had told her of Zack and Dustin finding out Hannah Grayson was their mate, and how Brady had found his mate, Jess, the server from the bar. Then Ryan related the starling news of Mark, how he was Logan’s brother, and how he provided the location where she, Nathan, and the others had been held. She’d seen how Mark fought Logan despite his injuries and understood more now. However, when, after exchanging an odd look with Scott, Ryan had then revealed th
at Emily’s father was also Mark and Logan’s father, she’d been shocked.
“I don’t understand. My father wasn’t a shifter.”
“No, not a shifter, a halfling,” Ryan explained, “and because he was a halfling that impregnated a human he didn’t claim, you were born human. We don’t know for certain but maybe that’s why you had such a hard time with the change and shifting for the first time.”
“But ...” She bit her bottom lip. Confused, shocked, she had so many questions and wasn’t sure what to ask first. “When Mark, Ryder, Wayne, and Brady first came to the house, Mark knew I was his sister, didn’t he?”
“Yeah, he did.”
“Why didn’t he say anything? Didn’t he care? I mean, yeah, I knew I had half-siblings out there, but I didn’t know who they were. He did.” She sucked in a huge breath as something else occurred to her. “Corey. Shit, when Corey took me, he was going to deliver me to Logan, wasn’t he? Mark must have known that. So when he came here ...” Bitter tears stung her eyes and she wiped at them furiously. “He knew, and he didn’t say a damn thing!”
“Lamby,” Scott said softly, “we don’t know for sure about any of that.”
“But you said he’d been in contact with Logan. He would have known then.” She clenched her jaw tightly as fur sprang up on her forearms. It tickled her cheeks, too, as she fought the rage that threatened to take hold of her. “My own brother did nothing to protect me from my other crazy brother who kidnapped me.”
“Again, we don’t have all the answers. Until we can speak to Mark, we can’t know anything for sure, and we shouldn’t be drawing conclusions,” Scott cautioned.
“You’re taking his side? What the serious fuck, Scott!”
“I’m not taking his side. All I’m saying is we don’t have all the answers and should wait for them. You’re getting really worked up over this and we don’t know that Mark was aware of any of that before it happened. We were there when Ryder told him Logan had kidnapped Ashlynn and the rest of you. He didn’t know and his reaction told me he was shocked by his brother’s actions. It didn’t look like he knew just how out-of-control his brother was.”
“He was shocked by it,” Ryan agreed. “Scott’s right, we need more information before drawing conclusions. Everything’s a mess where Mark’s concerned right now. We’ll have to wait for an opportunity to speak to him, or to get some information from Ryder and Wayne.”
Fuck that. She didn’t need any further information. Her father had never wanted to be an actual father to her, and now her brother hadn’t acted like a brother. Apples certainly didn’t fall far from trees, did they? As more fur surfaced on her chest and back, rage pummelled her. She was done with Mark, brother or not, shifter or not, Ashlynn’s mate or not. He could rot in jail for all she cared.
Jumping to her feet, she almost banged into Ryan and quickly scooched sideways to clear her mates. All three looked to her with almost identical worried expressions. She had to get out of the house. A run. That was the answer. She’d never run as a wolf and needed to now. She was a wolf-shifter after all, and now that she could shift it was all she wanted to do.
“I need to go for a run.” Her declaration drew deeper worried expressions and she wondered why. It was normal for shifters to blow off steam in such a manner, so why the looks? She met Nathan’s eyes. “You should stay here and rest up. We’ll have plenty of time to all run together but you still need to recuperate.” Then, flipping her gaze between her other two mates, she tilted her head questioningly. “Are you two coming with me?”
Not waiting for their response as she didn’t care if they did accompany her, she headed to the door, unbuttoning her jeans as she did. Her clothes felt restrictive and she was desperate to rid herself of them. As Ryan and Scott joined her by the front door, she paused to regard them.
“All our neighbours are shifters, right?”
“Yes, but let’s wait until we get to the woods before stripping, okay? Just in case. You never know when a human might be around,” Scott replied.
Disappointed but understanding the need to limit interactions with humans, she slipped her arms through the coat Ryan held open for her. Not without shock, she realized she hadn’t reacted to Scott’s comment on humans. She really was a shifter, no longer considering herself human. Despite her desire to shift as soon as possible, a small smile crept across her lips. She’d been so scared of becoming a shifter but realized how silly those fears had been. Becoming a shifter was the best decision she’d ever made, one that gave her so much, a deeper relationship with her mates but also this ability, a way to dispel the anger that consumed her. Breaking plates or punching walls were paltry outlets compared to the ability to race through the woods as a wolf.
Some time later, safely out of sight in the wooded area that ran behind their house, the trio stripped down. It was chilly out and the snow bit into her exposed feet and ankles. Shifting in a split-second, her furry paws provided protection against the snow and she didn’t feel the cold at all. Shifting hurt but was over so quickly it wasn’t a concern, and well worth this ability, to be one with the natural space around her. Scott and Ryan hadn’t shifted yet and stood naked in the snow. She looked up at them, curious as to why they hadn’t shifted and saw something that drove away the rage in her. Both were teary-eyed and wore loving expressions.
“You are so beautiful, Em,” Ryan said, his voice filled with pride.
“The most gorgeous wolf I’ve ever seen,” Scott added, his tone matching his brother’s.
She remembered they’d never seen her wolf-form and barked happily as she wagged her tail. Four hands ran over her head and back and she wagged her tail in great looping circles.
“All right, lamby, let’s do this,” Scott said. “Let’s take your first run as wolf. Don’t go too deeply into the woods, and stay as close to us as possible, just in case.”
In her haste to get to them, she’d forgotten the woods could be a dangerous place, even for a wolf-shifter. Although the town prohibited hunting on its land, there was always a chance some hunter would ignore the posted signs. Wolves could be nearby, not to mention cougars, or bears. Then again, her mates were present to protect her and, for the first time in her life, she felt as if she could truly protect herself.
Ryan and Scott shifted and she found their wolf selves more glorious than ever. Scott released a howl, echoed by Ryan and the pair looked to her. She’d never howled before but felt the desire to deeply, a need to answer her mates. She threw her head back and howled loudly. The sound echoed through the woods, coming back to her, allowing her to hear its rejoicing quality. It was blissful, being with her mates as wolves, and now she regretted Nathan’s absence. He should have been part of this. As another howl pricked her ears, she recognized the sound as Nathan’s wolf voice. Turning her body, she saw his slow approach and hoped he wasn’t over-exerting himself, even as she was overjoyed he’d decided to join them. Reaching them, he nuzzled against her, licked her muzzle and then sniffed her exposed vulva as she held her tail up for him. Ryan and Scott repeated his motions and desire rose within her as she wondered what sex in wolf-form would be like. She was certainly eager to find out, but needed to expend some energy first. Intent on keeping close to her mates, and not wanting Nathan to push himself, she tore off a short distance then quickly turned and ran back. She circled her mates closely, then whizzed away only to return again, blazing past them as quickly as she could. All three yipped loudly and it sounded like laughter to her.
As she ran she knew all she and Nathan had endured at the hands of Logan wasn’t truly done with. They had much to work through but tonight’s events proved a truth she’d always known and one that made the tough road ahead bearable. Her mates would do anything to help her through. They were an amazing group and together the four of them could do anything. Stopping abruptly when she rejoined her mates, she released a joyous howl. Nathan, Scott, and Ryan joined in and four strong, clear wolf voices rang out loudly in the still nigh
t air. Swirling together, they created a sound that spoke of union, devotion, and hope.
***
Naomi smiled when Avery, Lily, and Ella squealed in glee as she and Jason placed the girls’ breakfasts before them. She’d made pancakes, carefully pouring the batter into shapes that, when assembled, resembled a bunny hopping away. Banana slices and blueberries formed cute paw pads, and a small pile of sweetened shredded coconut formed a fluffy tail. Strawberry slices that resembled hearts decorated the plates alongside the bunnies. They’d turned out perfectly and were adorable.
Jason kissed her temple as his arm slid around her shoulders. “You did great,” he whispered in her ear, “they love them.”
Smiling, she watched the girls chatter excitedly about their pancake bunnies, comparing them to decide who’d received the one with the cutest tail, and whose bunny had the longest ears. She’d been home for three days, and today was the first day that felt normal once more. The girls had been quiet around her, undoubtedly cautioned by their well-meaning Aunt Evelyn to not overwhelm her. She doubted they could have even if they’d tried to. The second she’d seen Jason at the rogue pack’s compound, all she’d wanted was to return to her life with him and the triplets. Apparently, her repeated assurances that she was okay had finally gotten through to the girls who’d returned to their bubbly and talkative selves.
Jason had been cautious with her too, so much so she’d resorted to chastising him during their return journey. He’d been uncomfortable and she knew he hadn’t known what state she’d be in upon her rescue, but she was quick to prove she was fine, for she was. She’d had a few anxiety-spawned episodes where she’d fought the sudden panic that enveloped her, but she recognized those incidents as her body’s reaction to the stress of being kidnapped. Mentally, she felt sound, whole, and wanted nothing more than for her, Jason, and the girls to return to the happy existence Bossman had cruelly torn her from.
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