She follows behind me as we walk out of my office. I lock up and we head towards the reception area. I can feel Karen's eyes on the back of my head, and it's fucking with me. God, I want to tell her to just fuck off, but seeing her in this vulnerable situation makes me want to help her. But I'll be damned if I take her back. She's hurt me enough for one lifetime.
I push some buttons on the machine and give her coffee. "Cream no sugar, right?"
"Actually," she makes a face, giggling nervously. "The baby doesn't seem to like the cream. I shouldn't even be drinking coffee."
"Oh." I just stand there like a moron with the plastic cup of coffee in my hand, finally shrugging and getting her a tea from the vending machine. I drink the shitty coffee myself, and we stand there awkwardly for a while.
"Karen," I say as gently as I fucking can. "I need you to sign those papers."
She looks at me above the rim of her steaming cup and her eyes look honest for once. "I know," she whispers. "I know I have to. But I'm scared, Jacob."
"It's okay," I tell her softly. "It's okay to be a scared. But I'm sure you're going to be alright. Do you have them with you?" She gives me a blank look and I try to be as patient as possible as I explain what I meant. "The papers, Karen. You know you have to sign them now."
With a shaky hand, she reaches inside her purse and pulls out a stack of papers. I get a pen from my pocket for her and she scribbles a hasty signature on them on the wall next to the vending machine. It feels like a huge weight has fallen off my shoulders as soon as she hands me the signed papers, and I feel like a new man.
"That feels odd," she laughs nervously, and I give her a long look, accompanied with a bittersweet smile. "Never thought I'd be divorced at thirty-two."
I bite back a reply and put the papers behind my back before she can change her mind. I know she may be acting nice now, but she could switch back to her bitchy persona any minute and I'd be in trouble again.
"I'm scared," Karen repeats softly.
I squeeze her free hand and it's cold, cold like she was when she fucked up our picture-perfect lives. "I know you are," I tell her gently. "I'll... find a way to help you. I promise."
"Just not in the way I want," she realizes out loud, and I look at the floor uncomfortably. I can feel her getting angry, and she switches back to her cold-hearted-bitch persona faster than I blink.
"Well alright, better not keep you any longer," she sighs, smoothing down her already perfect bob. "I need to get back to my own business, as well. Don't have all day. Busy busy."
I give her a strained smile as we walk towards the exit. I look ahead of us and my heart freezes when I see Alice slumped in front of my office.
"I'll... call you," I tell Karen. She gives me a curious look, but I manage to say goodbye before she realizes what's going on. She turns around and leaves with a small nod, and I head towards Alice.
She's slumped on a chair in the waiting area before my office. Her eyes are puffy, but her makeup still looks intact. She must've been crying though.
"Shouldn't you be in school?" I ask her softly, approaching her in the hallway.
"Jacob," she whispers, and looks up at me. Her eyes... They're raw and hurting. "Help me, please. I need help."
"Do you want to come in?" I ask her worriedly, and she just nods repeatedly. I unlock the door to my office, and have to help her up to get her in there. It's like someone pulled a string inside her and she can't even move.
"It'll be alright," I tell her gently. "You'll be okay, don't worry, doll."
I help her walk inside and close the door behind her. I lock it automatically, since I always do that when I have patients. I start to walk back behind my desk, but Alice's tiny hand reaches out for mine and she gives me a pleading look that makes me stop in my tracks.
"What happened?" I ask her.
"At school, some teacher," she shrugs.
"Alice..." I kneel down next to her. "You're a strong girl, aren't you?"
She stares at me blankly.
"She's a teacher," I keep going. "In a few years, you won't even remember her name, right? You're gonna be on your own way and you'll be alright. Whatever it was, don't dwell on it, doll."
She looks so small, so fucking broken. In that moment, a severe hatred of her mother takes reign in my head. How could she leave her like this? The girl is so damn damaged, and for Magda to do this to her only makes matters worse.
"Did you just leave school?" I ask Alice gently.
"I got a note from the nurse," she mutters, and I smile at her.
"Clever girl."
I don't realize I'm stroking her leg until a few moments pass. Once I look down and see my own fingers on her thigh, I clear my throat and look up, but she catches me by the wrist and gives me a pleading look.
"Jacob," she breathes softly. "Jacob, help me, please."
"I'm trying," I reply quietly. "I'm really fucking trying, Alice."
I can't make myself move away from her grasp, but she gets up of her own accord, pressing her tight little body against mine. A grunt escapes my lips as she squeezes herself to my chest.
"Touch me," she breathes, her eyes on mine. "Just... just once, touch me."
"Alice," I manage to choke out. "I... you know I can't do that. It's not appropriate."
"Cause we're in your office?" she asks, so fucking innocent it makes me want to scream.
"Because I'm your guardian and you're my patient," I tell her, managing to wring her arms away from me. Her bottom lip shakes and she mewls, a small sound, so fucking small, but so very powerful.
"But I want you," she begs. "I want you so fucking bad, Jacob." She leans closer to me even though I try to put some distance between us. She starts whispering in my ear. "I dream about you. I think about you. I..." Her breath hitches. "I want you to fuck me. I want you to be the first... I need it to be you."
I look away but her mouth follows, landing softly on the soft skin behind my ear. I groan out loud and she nibbles on it, making me tighten my grip on her wrists.
"Stop this, right the fuck now," I order her, but she snuggles closer to me, so needy for attention it fucking hurts. "Alice, you need to stop."
"Make me," she taunts me, and I gather her wrists in one arm behind her back, the other going to her neck. I grip her pretty white throat tightly and her breath catches, her eyes alight.
"We're not doing this," I snarl at her. "You're a little fucking girl."
I can feel her breathing through my hand, her throat contracting as she tries to get some oxygen. Her eyes roll back and she's so beautiful, so unbelievably stunning.
"You can try and stop me," she manages to get out. "But you're the one who's gonna break in the end, Mr. Hawke."
She wrestles out of my embrace, but I don't fucking let her get away. I grab her by the hips and pull her back. "Stop playing," I growl at her. "Stop fucking playing, little girl."
Eight
Alice
I gasp when his fingers touch my hips. He pulls me closer and sits on his desk, and suddenly I'm between his legs. I can feel how fucking hard he is, the thick outline of his cock brushing up against my thighs. I've never wanted anything as much as I want him right now. I need this.
"I'm not playing," I manage to whisper. "This is real to me. This, between us, whatever it is. I want you, Jacob."
He mutters something under his breath, his eyes roaming over my body and leaving goosebumps erupting under my clothes in their wake. His hands don't move from my hips even though I want them to, and I know he's trying to decide what to do with me.
"Just let it happen," I say softly. "Just... fuck me, Jacob, fucking please. We both know it's going to happen sooner or later."
"It shouldn't," he mutters. "It shouldn't fucking happen. You're messing with my head, Alice. You're... You're too much..."
I reach for his lapels and pull him closer, molding my mouth to his in a desperate kiss. I'm trying to make him see how very badly I need this, his mouth touching mine,
his tongue slipping inside me and taking me. He doesn't respond to the kiss, but then again, he never does at first. I kiss him with all the fight I have left in my body, the anger from him denying me all this time, the desperation I felt when we spent the weekend together, not even fucking touching. I need this, and it's becoming evident as every cell in my body becomes so involved in the kiss I end up crumpling in his lap.
Jacob holds me up by my hips and gives me a strained look. "You don't want this, Alice," he warns me. "I'm not gentle, I'm not sweet, I'm not the right guy."
I look at him, realizing he's the only one holding me up from falling to the floor. "Please," I beg him. "Please, I want this so badly. You're... you're the one I want to be my first."
His fingers tighten and bunch up the fabric of my dress, and he groans when I keep begging in the softest of voices. Just repeating that one word over and over and over again, please Jacob, fucking please, fuck me please, I need you please, please take me, please please please.
He breaks slowly, his resolve weakening but his grip on my clothes tightening. I moan when he pulls me even closer, when my pussy brushes up against his leg, when his dick throbs against my thigh. I can tell how much he's struggling as he pulls down my skirt and I step out of it, leaving my tights and my shoes on.
"Jesus fucking shit," he groans, his fingers going to the hem of my blouse. He undoes them slowly, like he's trying to change his mind with every button that comes undone. But sooner or later he's done, and I shrug off the blouse until I'm standing in front of him in my bra. He looks away.
"Please, Jacob," I beg softly. "Look at me, please..."
When his eyes meet mine they're filled with so much pain it makes me wonder what happened to him, what made him like this, what broke him so fucking badly it's almost comparable to my own hurt.
I pull down my tights and step out of them clumsily. Now I'm just in a deep red lingerie set, the dark burgundy in sharp contrast to my milky skin. He's staring at me and I shiver under his touch as his fingers stroke my tummy gently.
"I can't do this," he groans. "I can't fucking do this to you, Alice."
I take his hand and place it on my neck, his fingers trembling as they wrap around my throat. "But I need you to," I whisper. "I need you to use me and take me and fuck me, Jacob, I need it really fucking bad."
He curses under his breath and I see him break. And then everything happens so fucking fast I can barely catch a breath.
He gets up from his desk, he takes my wrists behind my back and bends me over the desk. I moan with pure ecstasy as my cheek hits the hard wood of it, and his fingers travel down my spine, making me arch my whole body. He undoes the hook of my bra and pulls it off in one motion, my tits bouncing free and never even hitting the desk, because he grabs them and pushes his groin into my ass, making me mewl like a fucking needy little kitten.
"Your first time?" he asks me in a low growl, and I barely manage a nod. "Okay, doll. I'll be gentle as I can, I promise..."
His voice is sweet but deep as he strokes my tits. I feel my nipples getting hard under his touch and I almost pass out from the feeling building inside me, so desperate to feel him, more of him, filling me, taking me, ruining me.
His fingers leave my breasts and I moan in protest, but gasp the next second when he rips my panties off, just like that.
"What a pretty little ass you have," he tells me, stroking me with two fingers. It's insane, the way he makes me feel with barely any contact. In moments, I'm begging for more and arching my back so desperately my cheeks blush in embarrassment. I attempt to spread my legs, but he pushes them back together, leaning over me to whisper in my ear.
"It'll be even tighter if you keep them like this," he whispers gently in my ear, and I cry out. He grabs my wrists and holds them behind my back with one hand, his other unbuckling his belt and pulling out his cock. I'm so desperate I'm gasping, low, soft sounds making me beg him for his cock inside me.
"I need you," I cry out. "I need you to fuck me, Jacob, fucking please, no more waiting." I feel embarrassed as hell when I feel the first tear fall, not because I'm hurting or scared, but because I want him so fucking bad, and he's still not inside me.
His finger outlines my soaked pussy and I want to scream, fucking scream for more. "Shh, doll," he says gently, but his voice is strained.
And then I feel something probing at my entrance, his cock so hard, the tip silky and round and so fucking big my eyes dilate as I look at him over my shoulder.
"Fuck," I breathe panicked breaths. "Fuck, it's so big, I can't, I fucking can't, I'm scared."
He strokes my cheek and I just stare and stare at him, his cock out, so fucking big it makes me cry more, his eyes crazed and needing me. "Do you want me to stop, doll?" he asks me gently. "I'll stop right now; we don't have to talk about this ever again."
"No," I say right away. "I'll hate you if you do, just push it in, I don't care if it hurts, just fuck me, Jacob, please... Shit!"
He pushes inside without waiting for me to stop rambling. He doesn't go slow, he fills my pussy up and I have to bite my lips to stop myself from crying out, because god, it hurts so much, it hurts so fucking good.
I can feel him splitting me open, his cock parting my pussy lips and claiming my hole in one push, one thrust of his powerful hips. He groans behind me and I close my eyes, more tears leaking out and my lips shaking so bad.
"Jesus," he breathes behind me. "What a tight fucking pussy, shit, doll, this is insane."
He starts pumping into me slowly, his cock filling me up and leaving me so damn empty in the next second I just want to scream. I adjust to his size even though I still feel him on every inch of my walls, and suddenly, it starts feeling good, so fucking good my nails dig into the wood of the desk.
"More," I beg him. "More Jacob, please. I need so much more."
He grunts and keeps fucking me, and I keep my legs tightly pressed together, and it's so much, so much to take I feel like I'm about to pass out.
I let out a long moan and he grabs my hips, pushing inside me with such force my body starts hitting the desk, my hipbones bruising with every one of his thrusts. I feel it building inside me, something unknown, something I don't completely understand. I feel it happening before it actually does, the pressure building and building and building, and then finally, mercilessly, releasing as my pussy lets go and I scream his name.
"Jacob, fuck, Jacob please!"
"Hold on doll," he grunts. "Just a little bit longer. Just let me use you up, doll." He goes faster and I go limp in his arms, whispering for more as he keeps going. I feel him so deep inside me he's hitting something, like an impenetrable wall deep in my cunt, not letting him go any further. One of his hands goes to my tits and he has to practically hold me up to keep fucking me, I'm so far gone. I keep whispering for more and he keeps giving it to me, long, deep thrusts that make me roll my eyes back and hope there's more to come.
"I need to cum," he growls in my ear, blowing strands of my dark mane out of my face. "I need to cum inside you, doll, are you on birth control?"
"Yes," I manage to squeak. "Yes, I'm on the pill. Please Jacob, please fucking please, keep going. Fill me up, I have to feel you inside me."
He grunts and pushes inside me, and I feel his hips shaking as he empties himself inside my pussy.
"Good girl," he mutters. "Such a fucking good girl, doll. Stay still now, let me finish inside you."
I feel it spurting inside me. It's warm and sticky and it feels so fucking good I can't hold myself up anymore. I collapse in his arms, but Jacob holds me up until my cunt milks his cock dry. I feel him release it all inside me, and still, he won't let go. I feel him getting softer in my pussy, not rock hard anymore, as he cradles me in his arms. He holds me like a man that's loved me for a long time.
He breathes deep, tired breaths into my back, and finally lifts me off his cock. I gasp when he does it, and a small trickle of his cum runs down my thighs as he places me ass down on his desk, li
ke I'm some kind of expensive decoration for his fucking office. He leans over to me and I stare at him deliriously. His hands grasp my face and he kisses me, the first time he's done it of his own accord. His lips are hard, but the kiss isn't. It's almost sweet, a word I'd never associated with Mr. Hawke - Jacob - before.
"Are you okay?" he asks me gently, and I nod, but I can't stop repeating the motion, so I just sit there moving my head like a puppet. "It's alright, doll. I know it's a lot to take."
He takes my hand in his and offers me a bottle of water on his desk. I reach for it with shaky fingers, but can't get the lid off. He does it for me instead, unscrewing it and giving me the water, pouring it in my mouth. I take slow, long gulps while my eyes rest on his.
He smiles at me and then makes a face, and I spurt water all over him when I start to giggle. Laughing, I wipe my mouth and give him an apologetic look. I feel shy all of a sudden, not like I'm regretting what happened, but... It did happen in the heat of the moment, and I need to come to terms with what we did. It had been a long time coming, though.
"I'll go back to the house," I say softly, getting off the desk.
"Wait." He pulls me by my wrist gently, giving me an inquisitive look. "You came here because you were upset. Why don't I take a half day and go home with you?"
"You..." I look up at him, feeling confused as hell. "Aren't you mad at me?"
"What for?" He looks confused.
"Because of... this," I shrug, motioning around the room. "What we did."
"No." He shakes his head and pulls me closer, his eyes darker now. "I'm not fucking mad, doll. But you are still under my care, and I do need to make sure you're alright. So you still need to follow my orders. That clear?"
I giggle and stick my tongue out at him. "Yeah, guess so."
"Alright." He doesn't let go of me, just looks into my eyes with an intensity I haven't seen in his gaze before. He looks serious now, and I wonder again if he lied to me and he really is regretting what happened between us. "Can you get dressed?"
His Doll: A Dark Bad Boy Romance Page 5