"Totally busted," I tell him and crawl into bed with him. He sets the book aside and kisses me on the nose before pulling me on top of him.
"Don't tell anyone," he warns me. "Or I'll turn your ass so red you won't be able to sit down for a week."
"Sounds yummy," I tease him. "I won't tell anyone you totally had a connection to Mr. Darcy."
He rolls his eyes and tickles me until I shriek with laughter.
"How's your mom?" he finally asks me. "Any good news from her end of the world?"
"Yeah," I say softly, giving him a small smile. I don't want to tell him exactly what happened just yet, but I do give him a small piece of information. "The job in NYC didn't quite pan out, but she got another offer in the Bay area."
"That's great," he tells me, pulling me down against his lips for another kiss. His fingers hook under my collar and I moan with excitement as I feel him throb underneath me. "Not yet, doll," he warns me when I reach for his pajama pants, and I scoff at him. "You gotta learn to be patient, pretty girl. Can we talk for a bit?"
This is unusual coming from him, so I nod and curl up in the crook of his arm. He strokes my hair absent-mindedly and I wait for him to ask me something, but instead, he surprises me by talking himself.
"I wanted to tell you about some stuff," he says into my hair. "Don't get scared, doll, it's nothing bad. I just feel like you don't know a whole lot about me and I wanted to share a bit more. Is that okay with you?"
I nod, not wanting to speak and breaking the spell, and he smiles down at me. I cozy up next to him as he continues talking.
"I met my ex-wife, Karen, in college. We fell in love pretty fast, but I was a dumbass who knew shit-all about himself," he grins at me. "We got married. It was only after we were already wearing rings on our fingers that I realized my tastes were... darker."
He sighs and I snuggle closer, waiting for him to go on. I need to know more so badly, and I love the way he's started to open up to me. It makes me feel special and warm inside.
"She... wasn't into it," he tells me. "She really didn't like playing in the bedroom. I tried to live with it, I really fucking did. But she accused me of being a sick fuck when I tried anything new, so eventually, I just gave the fuck up. And we wanted to start a family, so I tried to focus on that instead."
"Okay," I say in a small voice. The thought of him with another woman makes me a little sick, but I listen to it anyway. I really want to find out more about him, and if this is the only way, I'll take it. "Go on, please. I want to know more about you."
Jacob kisses the top of my head before going on. "We wanted kids. Well, really, I wanted them - she didn't. We tried for years, and I always kind of suspected she wasn't into it, I don't know why. Then one night, I walked in on her taking the pill. She never went off it like she said, so I'd been worrying sick about her not getting knocked up for no reason."
"That's awful," I say into his skin, feeling disgusted on his behalf. What a horrible woman. "I'm really sorry, Jacob."
"Yeah, it is what it is," he shrugs. "I left town for a bit after that, went to the beach house she'd always hated. I did some soul-searching there. Decided I could stick around, make our marriage work, even without kids and without the kinkiness I wanted from her."
"That's sweet," I mutter.
"I thought so," he laughs bitterly. "I came home early and caught her again, this time in bed with my best friend. You know what the worst fucking part was, though? He'd tied her up before fucking her. She'd let him do what she'd never let me."
"And then she got pregnant," I realize out loud.
"Yeah," he says roughly, clearing his throat. "And they're not even together anymore, he went back to his wife. So it's just Karen and the kid."
I draw absent-minded circles all over his chest as I think this through. "Do you ever miss her? Wish you could be with her again, make things right between the two of you?"
"No," he tells me firmly, lifting me on his lap and kissing me deeply. "Not for a single second. I'm happy with how things are."
We kiss, long and so sweet it gives me butterflies. His faint hint of stubble is scratchy but feels like a real man. "My mom asked me to move to San Francisco with her," I whisper against his lips.
His hands stop stroking my back and we look at each other for a very long time.
"Okay," he says roughly.
"Okay," I repeat, my voice broken. I want to hear it so badly. Him convincing me to stay. Him fighting for me. Telling me... he loves me. But he doesn't do it, and I feel so fucking empty I just want to die.
"Okay," I whisper again, and I drift off into a dreamless sleep on top of his chest.
Twenty-Three
Jacob
I can't let her go.
I've been fighting a battle with myself for days now, knowing she's going to leave. I know I'm supposed to be fucking selfless and let her go. But fuck it, there's no way I can do it. I can't let... the love of my life get away. Not after I've finally made her mine.
She wears the collar every day, not taking it off. I love seeing it on her, I love making her submit, I love cumming inside her, love making her mine. I love it all, and I probably... I probably love her too. But saying it scares me shitless, and every time I open my mouth to say it, I can't get the words out.
She falls asleep on top of me, her body light as a feather on me, and feeling so fucking good. My arms wrap around her lithe figure and I can't bring myself to let go. I need to hold her, feel her, fuck her. I need to make sure she's all mine. Forever.
I can't stand it anymore, and at three in the morning, I gently stir her awake by moving her off of my body. I get up from the bed and walk over to the window, looking into the back yard with my hands on my hips.
"What is it?" Alice asks sleepily. "Come back to bed, it's really late."
"No," I tell her roughly. "I can't fucking sleep. You do it, doll, I just need to think about some shit."
I know her well enough now to know what she'll do next, and sure enough, she sits up in bed and gives me a confused look, now completely awake. "What's wrong?" she asks in a shaky voice, and I let out a frustrated sigh, coming closer to her.
"I need to fuck you," I tell her roughly. "Downstairs, in my room. Is that okay, doll?"
Her eyes are wide and really fucking scared, and she stares at me before nodding once. "Yeah, that's okay," she tells me softly.
I don't wait for her to go on, I just pick her the fuck up and throw her over my shoulder like a damn barbarian. I carry her downstairs and she hugs me as I do it. Her body starts to shake as we enter the basement, trembling lightly as I set her down on the bed down there.
"It's okay," I tell her gently. "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise, doll."
"Okay," she whispers, hugging her legs to her body. "I trust you. Master."
She's shaking though, and it's making me unsure. I head to the chest she's afraid of so much, feeling her fearful gaze on me the whole time. I dig around in there until I find what I want, and bring the two items closer to here.
"What are those?" she asks me fearfully, and I raise them to her so she can see.
"A blindfold, doll," I tell her softly. "And a spreader bar, for your legs. Is that okay?"
"Yes," she says right away, and I bet if I reached between her legs right now, I'd find her fucking soaked. "That's okay. Are you gonna put it on?"
"Yes," I tell her softly, and she closes her eyes.
I put the blindfold around her eyes, knotting it tightly in the back. Her hands go up to it and she feels around. "Can you see anything?" I ask her gently.
"No," she whispers. "Nothing."
"Good." I kiss her exposed shoulder when her sleeping shirt slips down, and she shivers with anticipation. "Good girl."
I help her get up, holding her hand, and she shakes as I put the spreader bar around her ankles. I position her in front of the bed and bend her over gently. Once I do that, she moans softly, and it makes me go fucking insane. I rip off her pantie
s in one motion, exposing her ass to the cool room. Her shirt follows, and I pull it off over her head until she's standing naked in front of me.
"So beautiful," I tell her, trailing a line of kisses down her spine. It makes her moan softly. "You're all mine, doll. All fucking mine."
I take something out of my pocket, a third item from the chest I didn't want her to see. I place it on the bed next to her and strip naked. Alice's body is shaking in anticipation as she waits for me, and I take my time admiring her beautiful body, the curves, and dips of her, the way she breathes so shallowly.
Finally, I trail my fingers down her spine, and she arches her back with a long moan. "So fucking needy," I whisper into her hair. "I like that, doll."
Before she has a chance to object, I lean down and lick between her legs. She's dripping wet, and when my tongue touches her there, she swallows thickly and arches her back even more.
"Fuck," she whispers. I know not being able to see a thing, combined with this experience, is going to send her over the edge. I start licking her pussy, long dips of my tongue inside her, flicks over her clit. I'm not fucking gentle, because I've been waiting for this for a long fucking time and I need to get a taste, a real good one.
She's a good girl and stays relatively still, but her back arches almost impossibly and she keeps moaning. I can tell she's about to cum when her pussy drips into my mouth, tasting so fucking sweet it only makes me want her more.
"Cum for me, doll," I tell her gently, and she bucks her hips, moaning my name as she shakes against my tongue. I don't let her off easy, though, and as soon as she cums, I keep going, getting orgasm out of orgasm out of her tight little body. She's shaking, gasping, begging for more, but soon she can't even hold herself up, and her torso goes on the bed, with her ass up.
"Please, fucking please," she begs me. "No more, no more, fuck me right now, please."
"Okay, doll," I whisper against her cunt. "One thing first, though. Feel on the bed on your right."
Her shaky fingers feel around and wrap around the vibrator I pulled out of the chest. "W-what's that?" she asks me shakily, and I kiss her pretty ass.
"You tell me," I tell her, my fingers going in and out of her pussy and making her moan even louder. "Do you want it in your ass or pussy, doll?"
She whimpers, but I'm not done.
"You can either have it in your ass with my cock in your pussy," I say gently against her hips. "Or the other way around. Your choice, pretty girl."
"Oh god, oh god," she moans, and I can tell she's so close again. She won't give me an answer though, and it makes me grin. "You don't wanna tell me? That's alright, doll, I'll get it out of you one way or another."
I make her cum again until she's breathless and begging again, her small body shaking.
"Decided yet?" I ask her gently, and her fingers wrap tightly around the vibrator.
"You decide," she whispers.
"No, not good enough," I tell her roughly, and my tongue goes back on her clit, making her squirt her juices all over my mouth. I want to fucking devour her.
"Please," Alice begs. "Just... put it in my pussy, please. I want you in my ass, Master, please..."
"Good girl," I tell her gently. She hands me the vibrator and I push it inside her, slowly. It makes her catch her breath and she moans, low and sweet, music to my ears. I turn it on and it makes her buck her hips when the vibrations hit, making her arch her back towards me.
I push my cock against her ass and she goes fucking crazy. The words, the hips, the shakes, she has it all, and she begs and begs for me to fuck her. Finally, I can't fucking take it anymore, as beautiful a sight as she makes. Slowly, I fill her ass with my cock, and I don't stop pushing inside her until I've filled her up completely.
"Oh my god," she gasps. "Oh my god, oh my god."
I feel her cumming. I see her cunt dripping so much I have to hold the vibrator in place or else it'd slip out. My dick's going in roughly, and I pull it out, spitting on it to make it wetter. I push back inside and she comes apart so beautifully, broken and ruined and perfect, all because of me.
"You're so fucking beautiful, doll," I tell her softly as I start fucking her ass, holding the vibrator in once place with my free hand. "So damn pretty, so sweet. I can't let you go, Alice. I just fucking can't."
"Please," she wheezes. "Please don't, I want to be yours, all yours, please. And don't stop... I want to cum again."
"Good girl." I fuck her roughly and she begs and begs until it makes me lose my mind. The world's a blur and I rip off her blindfold, because I need to fucking see her eyes, the eyes I fell in love with. She looks at me over her shoulder, her hair a mess, her eyes wild and so innocent it makes me lose it.
"Please," she begs. "Please fucking cum in my ass, Master."
I let go with a groan, and I do what she asks of me, filling her ass up in several long spurts of shooting cum inside her hole. She really screams then, and she drips so much the vibrator slips free. Her pussy squirts and makes a mess, and I pull out of her ass, my cum dripping down her hole and mixing with her juices on the bed.
"Jesus fucking Christ," I groan.
"Oh my god," she says, and I pull her into my arms, because she's shaking so fucking bad I'm worried I've really done it, I've really fucking broken her completely now. I hold her close, whispering sweet nothings to her, kissing her all over, both of us naked and sweaty as fuck. And slowly, her eyes lose their vacant look, and she becomes Alice again, not some sex-crazed little sex doll, coming together into the woman I love in my arms again.
She looks at me and I look at her and it's the only thing I need in the world.
"Don't leave me," I ask her, the first time I've asked something of her because I'm a selfish fucking bastard and I can't, won't lose her now.
"Okay," she says breathlessly. "I won't, I won't, I won't."
I hold her impossibly close, hoping I'm not hurting her.
"Alice," I say, and her whole body shakes when I say her name.
"Yes," she whispers, her big eyes going to mine.
"I love you, doll."
The words ring out in the room and I feel their weight and it feels fucking good.
"I love you," she says, and my life is complete.
Epilogue - Alice
1 year later
"Alice!"
I follow the sound of his voice into the kitchen. There's a fire burning in the living room, and a big Christmas tree adorns the corner, with presents lined underneath. It makes me smile. We've really made this place our own.
"Yeah?" I ask, walking into the kitchen. Jacob's standing there with the most ridiculous oven mitts on, glaring at me over the ham he's holding in a tray.
"You can't just... God," he says, setting it down on the counter. "This almost burned!"
"I'm sorry," I tell him, but I can't stifle my laughter. He looks so damn cute with those mitts on. "I'm sorry. I was doing something. I'll take care of now, but get it off the counter before it leaves a mark!"
He raises the tray and I take it from him, making sure the ham is cooked all the way through. He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me, even though it's a little harder for him to do now.
"You're getting big," he whispers into my ear, and I nudge him in the stomach.
"How rude!"
"You are," he laughs, rubbing my swollen belly. "I fucking love it."
The doorbell rings and he goes to get it while I make sure everything's just the way I want it. It's our first Christmas dinner at the beach house, and I'm excited to see everyone again.
I hear voices as people start filling the room, and I smooth my hair down before joining them. Everyone exclaims when I walk into the room, and it makes me smile even wider.
"Hey, guys," I say happily, my hand going to my bells. "I'm so glad you could all make it."
I kiss everyone. My mom's here with her latest beau, a 25-year-old Italian model. He barely speaks English but he brings us some special cheese and a bottle of
wine, and I accept it with a smile. Tiff's here as well, with her boyfriend from college. She's studying art now and kicking ass in New York. And last but not least, we also invited Jacob's professor from college. He's beaming and his wife came with him, which is nice to see. After we've all said hello to one another, we finally settle around the dining room table.
I bring out the food and everyone tells me how amazing it looks before tucking in. The conversation is flowing as we all laugh and Christmas music plays in the background, along with the smell of our tree.
I love it here, and I've never been happier.
When Jacob told me he wanted us to move, I thought he was out of his mind. We had something good in the city, we were happy, we were together. But soon, the thought of a fixer-upper like this house, of living next to the seaside, in a quaint little town, won me over. Especially when I found out I was pregnant - it was the perfect place to raise a baby.
My hand goes to my tummy subconsciously and I smooth my shirt over it. I catch Jacob looking at me and I grin at him. I'm only two months away from my due date now, and I still can't believe it. In February - my due date is actually Valentine's day - we're going to have a little boy joining us.
Telling Jacob I was pregnant was the best part. I'd never seen him happier, and I'd never seen him break down like that. He was like a kid in a candy store - I almost expected him to cry. But he's been treating me like I'm made out of porcelain ever since. This baby's going to be the most spoiled child in town.
Convincing my mother I was giving up everything to live in a small coastal town was more difficult, though. It took some time for her to get used to the idea, and I worry if she's come to terms with it now. I see her giving me looks from across the table, like she's waiting to see if I'm really happy.
When we're all done with the main course, I excuse myself and head for the kitchen, and mom follows closely behind, just like I knew she would. We prepare the dessert silently and she keeps shooting me looks.
His Doll: A Dark Bad Boy Romance Page 14