by PJ Friel
Had I pushed him away with my fear and my stubborn pride? Or had I just imagined all that tenderness? Trusted the wrong person again?
Trusted an Outlander.
I cringed at that thought. Maybe I was being overly harsh about this. If this was Dezi, I’d just call her on her bullcrap and we’d get over it and then go have fraps. My best friend wasn’t an idiot man who needed to prove he had the biggest penis in the world, though.
Trygg moved up beside me on his motorcycle. I glared at him.
He ignored me.
The traffic light turned red in front of us and we pulled to a stop. The street was completely deserted. We were off the main drag and the close of business hadn’t hit yet so chances were good it would stay deserted.
I revved my engine to get his attention.
He pretended I didn’t exist.
All right. That did it. I was done with his silent stalker crap.
I kicked the stand down on my bike, ripped off my helmet, and dismounted. Trygg’s head whipped in my direction, but I was already in his space and giving him a shove.
“Why are you being such an asshole?” It was so annoying that my push didn’t even move him.
He flipped up his visor and raised an eyebrow. “Did you just say asshole? That’s a cuss word.”
Oh, my god. I was losing my shit and he was critiquing my vocabulary? “Yes! I said asshole. And I want to know why you’re being one.”
He thrust his arms in the air. “How am I being an asshole? And why are you even talking to me? I thought you didn’t need this hassle.” His voice dripped with sarcasm as he used my earlier words against me.
“Wow. Passive aggressive much?”
He pulled off his helmet. I snatched it from him and cannonballed it across the street. It plowed into a big blue mailbox with a loud clang, leaving a dent.
“That was my favorite helmet,” he said through his teeth.
“You’re lucky it wasn’t your big fat head!”
“Oh, so now I’m an asshole with a fat head?”
“Finally something we agree on!” I punched him in the pec.
“If you hit me again, I’m going to turn you over my knee.” He jabbed his pointer finger at me.
I grabbed it and wrenched it backwards towards his wrist.
“Ouch! Goddamnit!” He jerked his finger out of my grip and shook his hand. “That hurt.”
“Yeah, well, being called a fuck hole didn’t exactly feel good, either.”
“I never said that!”
“But that’s what you were thinking earlier, wasn’t it?”
He stopped shaking his hand and stared at me, but he didn’t deny that was what he thought of me. I turned my back on him, suddenly sorry that I’d started this. I was too messed up to deal with his shit.
I wish he would have hit me today in my office.
I could take a punch, but those looks of loathing he’d thrown around today hit a tender spot that I thought I’d toughened up a long time ago. For the first time in years, I wondered why I was so easy to walk away from. Could they sense my tainted blood, feel the darkness coiled inside me? I just wasn’t built for relationships.
To hell with Trygg Mackenzie.
All I had left was my pride and he wasn’t getting that. I yanked my helmet back on. He reached towards me and called my name, but I dodged him and climbed onto my bike.
The light turned green. I shot out into the intersection, riding low and tight, legs clamped around the bike. My chest, plastered against the gas tank, vibrated with the roar of the engine. Better to feel that than the tightness in my throat.
Stretched out in front of me, the street was empty all the way to the highway on-ramp. I hammered it. In the next second, Trygg’s bike peeled out, giving chase after my mad dash for escape. He pressed low against his Ducati and gained on me. Ducati didn’t name that beastly machine of his Monster for nothing.
Eighty miles an hour on a motorcycle was reckless at this time of day on the highway, but I refused to let him catch me, so I kept the throttle open and gave it everything I had. High rates of speed normally thrilled me. Today, all I had was a rock in my gut and a gravelly voice in my head.
I’ve got you, baby. Let go.
But he didn’t have me. I was loose in the wind and he’d never catch me again.
My Ninja whined as I pushed it harder than any sane person would. At one point, I had to brake so hard that my rear tire popped up off the ground. I barely retained control.
That should have slowed me up, but I didn’t care. Instead, I used the breakdown lane and whipped around the slowpoke holding up traffic, then gunned it again. If I wiped out, so be it. A body covered in road rash was better than seeing that repulsed look on Trygg’s face again. At least they had pain meds for road rash.
Even with the drama, the ride back to the office was entirely too short. Soon enough, I was pulling into my office parking lot and tugging off my helmet. Trygg screeched to a halt, his hair a wind-tousled mess. The rage on his face was all the warning I got before he pounced.
He grabbed me by the waist and dragged me off my bike. “Goddamnit, Bryn. Don’t you ever do that to me again.”
“What do you mean, do that to you—”
His mouth crashed down on mine. I didn’t understand why he was kissing me. He looked angry, but he was trembling. So, I did the only thing I could. I kissed him back.
He tasted so good that I lost the thread of our conversation. I lost my mind. I lost the ability to do anything except moan.
Dear god, I couldn’t breathe and I didn’t even care.
I just wanted.
I needed more.
More from him than just this.
Then sanity prevailed and I wrenched out of his arms and staggered backwards, holding out a warning hand. “No.”
“Bryn…”
He reached for me again and I shook my head. “No!”
“What do you want me to say here?
“The truth!”
“I’m sorry, damn it!”
I froze and stared at him, too wary of him now to trust that he was sorry about what I wanted him to be sorry for. “For what?”
“For everything!” He held his hands out toward me, palms up. “For making you feel like a whore.”
“No.” I shook my head again. “That’s not what I said. I’m the only person who can actually make me feel like a whore. You tried to turn me into an object, something to fight over and control. Just like…”
I stopped myself before I spilled the whole sordid tale to him. I’d told him everything he needed to know about my birth parents. I didn’t want to explain what I was to them. Not a daughter, but a chattel. A burden for one and a science experiment for the other.
He scrubbed a hand over his pale face. “Bryn, that’s not true. I saw you with DG and I lost it.”
“No, you thought you’d lost your hole to screw, because that’s all I am to you. Isn’t that what we agreed to yesterday? To just use each other?”
“Goddamnit.” He clenched his jaw and spoke between his teeth. “I shouldn’t have said that to you today.”
“No kidding.”
“Will you please let me explain?”
Before I could answer, my phone rang. Trygg raised a questioning brow and I sighed. “They can leave a message.”
“It could be about the case.”
Right. The case. The only thing he really cared about here and probably the only reason he was trying to make amends. I jerked my cell out of my pocket and glanced down at the screen. Ugh. I swiped decline.
“Who was it?”
“DG.” I shoved it back into my pocket and raked a shaking hand through my hair, waited for him to blow up again.
“Bryn—” My phone rang again.
I yanked it out and swiped decline again.
“If you need to take that…” His gaze slid away and he clenched his fists at his sides, but he kept his expression neutral. The disgust he’d shown me earl
ier today was gone. “I’ll wait right here until you’re finished.”
Oh, my god. This man was the biggest idiot on the planet.
“I don’t want to take the goddamn phone call, you idiot. Don’t you get it?” I winced at the pleading in my voice.
What was it they said about pride goeth? Apparently, mine had packed its bags and frolicked off to a flower-strewn meadow somewhere.
“You said goddamn.” His lips twitched at the corners.
My phone pinged with an incoming message. “Oh, for fuck’s sake!” I turned it off, barely refraining from tossing it across the parking lot.
“You realize you’re cussing like a trucker, right?”
“Yes! I’m right here listening to myself.”
He laughed, his green eyes twinkling. My girly parts took notice and told me to shut up and listen to the man. I hated my nether regions right now.
“So, what is it I’m supposed to get?” He reached out and I let him take my hand this time, press it against his chest.
“A lot of things,” I muttered, pretending my heart wasn’t pounding out of my chest.
Was I really going to do this? Was I going to tell him how I felt? Trust him not to laugh in my face and remind me that we were just using each other. God, it was just yesterday that we’d made that deal and here I was...what? Asking for more? This was crazy.
I was crazy.
“Trygg, I don’t understand why I feel like this about you.”
He went completely still and I held my breath, waited for him to brush me off. This guy didn’t want to talk about feelings. He just wanted a warm body. A convenient screw. When the case was over, we’d be over.
“Tell me how you feel,” he said, his voice soft yet so urgent. His heart jackhammered underneath my palm.
“Every time I've ever trusted an Outlander, they've betrayed me, hurt me. Yet, when I’m with you, I've never felt safer in my whole life. It doesn’t make any sense."
He pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed the palm then held it against his cheek. “I swear to you, I will never let anyone hurt you again.”
I gasped. Those words. I’d heard them before. They were a weighty promise that no one kept. I wanted to believe he would, but experience told me he’d make a fool of me.
“Would you give me one thing, Bryn?”
My brain said no. My libido said yes. We compromised. “Maybe.”
His gaze locked onto my mouth and he cupped my jaw, traced my bottom lip with his thumb. “I want a do-over. I wanted today to go differently.”
My brain and libido took to the mat, fighting. Should I or should I not suck his thumb? “How did you want today to go?”
“I can show you.” He brought his other hand up to frame my face and slowly lowered his mouth towards mine. He stopped, breath warming my lips as he hovered just one lick away. “Can I kiss you, baby? Please?”
A sharp tug on his belt delivered exactly what I needed. His hard body against mine. My brain tapped out. Victory—libido. “I love it when you beg.”
CHAPTER 27
TRYGG
We stumbled into Bryn’s apartment, lips locked, her legs wrapped around my waist. What had started out as a soft teasing kiss in the elevator had turned into a mouth fuck of epic proportions. Her scent surrounded me, sweet and tantalizing, and I was starving. So needy for this woman. I kicked the door shut and set her on her feet.
“I want you so much.” I groaned into her collarbone and cupped her breasts.
“Then take me,” she said.
“Thank fuck. Want you naked. Now.”
She bit my lip. I growled and ripped her shirt down the front from collar to hem. She gasped, but didn’t try to stop me. She did, however, fold her arms against her belly and look away. I froze.
“What is it, baby?”
“It’s just…” She shook her head.
I ran a finger across her forearm. “Did I scare you?”
Another head shake, then Bryn shuddered and shrugged her shoulders, letting the fabric of her shirt slide down to her elbows. She paused for a moment then lowered her arms and let the shirt continue its journey to the floor. She closed her eyes and her cheeks flooded with color.
For a moment, I was confused, then I looked at her belly. It was crisscrossed with tiny inch-long white scars. Drums pounded in my ears and my vision tunneled. I remembered where those scars came from and I wanted to howl and throw things against the walls, but I swallowed it all down. In this moment, Bryn didn’t need my rage.
“You are so beautiful. Nothing could make me think otherwise.”
Her eyes opened and her gaze tipped up to mine. The relief in them staggered me. From the beginning, her attitude had screamed self-confidence. It crushed me that she trembled while revealing her scars to me—this strong, courageous woman who faced down gun-wielding thugs. She was stunning and if I did nothing else tonight, I needed to help her believe that.
I dropped to my knees and called on every second of experience I’d accumulated over three hundred years of fucking women. Then I gave her what I’d never given any of them. Tenderness.
I pressed open-mouth kisses to each of her scars, tracing them with my tongue, attempting to wash away her painful memories. Our painful memories. If I couldn’t tell her the truth about who and what I was, then I could at least let her feel me.
After several moments, she tugged at my hair. I stood and made quick work of her bra, cupped her breasts in my hands and played with her pert nipples. She moaned as I opened my mouth and sucked one in. Every caress of her fingers, every sigh from her lips was a boon. My tongue begged her for more.
With trembling fingers, she reached down and opened my fly. The denim pooled at my feet. So did Bryn. Her blue eyes met mine as she gripped my cock and slowly stroked it.
“I need to taste you,” she whispered. Then she closed her lips around the head and sucked hard.
“Oh, fuck. Yes, baby. Taste me.”
I gripped her head, fingers weaving through her short hair, and gently pulled her in closer. My length filled her mouth and she made hungry little noises as she stroked me and drew up to lick the head. Her tongue traced my slit and my hips jerked uncontrollably.
She grinned up at me then gave my cock one long lick from base to head. “Want you to come in my mouth. Then kiss me, taste yourself on my lips.”
“So hot,” I growled and shook my head. “But I need to be inside you.”
I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her up, repeating what she’d done to me and yanking her jeans and panties off her hips with a rough jerk. Working us out of our riding boots and socks took longer than I wanted.
“Bedroom?” My voice was rough and impatient.
“Down the hall, left.”
I walked her backwards, kissing her lips, her throat, her shoulders. My hands gloried in the feel of her tight ass as she moved with me and rubbed against me, driving me out of my mind. When the backs of her knees hit the bed, I took us on a controlled fall to the mattress with my mouth hot on hers and one hand gripping her ass.
Bryn whimpered and wrapped her legs around my hips, pressed her hot pussy against my length. Her writhing against my cock pushed me to the edge of my control.
“Please, want you in me.”
No way was I surviving this, but if I was gonna go, it would be on my own terms. “Not yet, baby. I’m not done kissing your gorgeous body.”
“I need you.” She pushed against my shoulder and I read the intent in her eyes. She was going to try to take over the situation again like she’d done our first time.
“Not this time.” I growled and dragged us up the bed, then grabbed her hands and pressed them against the headboard. “Don’t you move those hands. You understand me?”
Her eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat, but she nodded.
I worked my hand between our bodies and when she arched against me, I slid two fingers inside her and covered her clit with my palm. She cried out and I moved to her
side, forcing her to grind her clit against my hand if she wanted any friction.
“You ride that while I get my fill of you. And if you want my cock, then you better come on my fingers, because I’m not stopping until you do.”
My mouth closed over her nipple, biting, sucking, lapping. With each action, her hips pumped faster against my hand and she trembled harder. I echoed her thrusts, grinding my cock against her hip, my free hand gripping her hair, one leg wrapped around hers to keep her locked to me where she belonged. I never wanted her out of my reach again.
“Oh, god. Gonna come,” she moaned.
That’s exactly what I wanted to hear. I slid down the bed and replaced my palm with my mouth. My tongue flicked her clit several times then I sucked the bundle of nerves hard while rubbing my curled fingers hard against her g-spot. Bryn screamed and arched off the bed. She let go of the headboard and pulled my mouth tighter against her pussy as she throbbed on my grinning lips.
“That’s it, baby. Coming so good for me,” I whispered against her folds. “Taste so sweet.”
Her hands still shook against my cheeks, but her guttural screams had turned into whimpers. I gently pulled out my fingers and kissed her thighs and stomach, then licked my way up to her neck. She nudged me with her leg, guiding me between her thighs.
“Condom, baby.” I could barely rasp out the words let alone drag myself off her.
She blinked at me, frowning. “Condom?” Then she looked alarmed. “I don’t have...I don’t bring men...”
A smile spread across my face. She didn’t bring men to her apartment, but she’d brought me here. That meant something. My lust cooled just a bit, replaced with the need to hug her, reward her for saving this moment for me.
“It’s okay, sweetheart, I have one in my wallet.” I cupped her face and kissed her on the nose.
“Stop grinning at me and get it, then.” She slapped my ass. “Hurry the fuck up.”
I busted out laughing. She looked so disgruntled and hearing the f-word come out of her mouth was hilarious. Laughter and the return of that gut-clenching lust played havoc with my coordination. I staggered off the bed and bounced from wall to wall down the hallway until I got to my jeans and ripped my wallet out of the pocket.