“Okay.”
“You did call your mom, right? To tell her you weren’t going straight home?”
“Yeah.”
Nick was going to be at least another ten minutes cleaning up and then he had to go inside and get his stuff. In the meantime, Dean was going to be hanging out in his driveway like the giant ex-husband elephant in the room.
Ryan walked over to where Dean was leaning against his truck, staring off into space. “Hey.”
“Just here to pick up my son.”
“He told me. I wouldn’t have minded driving him home, but he didn’t ask me. Sorry you had to drive all the way over.”
“Not a problem.”
Ryan looked at the man whose childhood was so entwined with his own that he could barely think of a memory that didn’t include Dean.
“I did a shitty thing to you,” he said, without knowing he was going to say it out loud. “I can’t honestly say I’m sorry, but I acknowledge it was shitty.”
Dean looked at him then, more resignation on his face than anger. “I loved you like a brother.”
“But I loved her.”
“Do you still?”
That was a really tough question, but Ryan guessed he owed Dean the most honest answer he could give. “That Lauren? No. That faded a long, long time ago. Mostly what kept me away was embarrassment, I guess. I wasn’t pining away. This Lauren? I don’t know yet. It’s really...complicated.”
“I hurt her and I lost her. And I love Jody more than I thought I could love a woman, but I still care about Lauren and she’s my son’s mother. If you end up walking away, do it straight up. Don’t screw with her head.”
With anybody else, Ryan might have gotten belligerent, because he didn’t need a lecture on how to treat a woman. But Dean had the right to say it. “I’m going to try my damndest not to.”
“Nick says you’re a good guy. He likes you.”
“The feeling’s mutual. You have a great son.”
Dean nodded, then took a deep breath. “You and I are never going to be friends.”
“I regret that, but I understand it.”
“We don’t have to be enemies, though.”
It was more than Ryan had hoped for. “No, we don’t.”
Nick walked out onto the porch at that moment, and both men turned. He had his backpack slung over one shoulder and was munching on a cookie.
Rose followed him out. “Remember. You use that hand sanitizer I gave you. And wash your hands a lot. And don’t share a cup or a fork or anything with your mom.”
“I won’t,” he called over his shoulder. “See you tomorrow.”
“I’m surprised she didn’t dig through my stuff for a painter’s mask for you to wear,” Ryan told him when he got to the minivan.
“Believe it or not, she mentioned those.”
“Oh, I believe it. See you tomorrow, kid.” He lifted a hand to Dean, then walked back to the ladder.
Josh was on his way down and they met at the bottom. “Looks like it went okay.”
Ryan nodded. “Better than I expected.”
“For the record, if there had been a fight, I’d have stepped in, but I’d have let him get one good shot in first.”
It took a few seconds for his meaning to sink in. A guy didn’t let his brother take a hit from a guy who’d been an ex-husband for eight years. “What the hell do you know about it?”
“Remember when I went through my secret-agent ninja phase?”
“Yeah. You were one seriously messed-up kid, by the way.”
“I was under your bed when you were practicing your ‘divorce my best friend and run off with me’ speech in the mirror.”
“Are you shitting me?”
Josh raised his right hand. “I shit you not.”
“And you never said anything to anyone? Not even to me?”
“A secret-agent ninja never reveals his secrets,” Josh said solemnly and headed for the barn.
“You’re a seriously messed-up adult, too,” Ryan called after him.
Josh just laughed and kept walking.
* * *
Lauren knew it was Ryan’s truck as soon as the headlights splashed across her living room window, and she pulled the blanket up over her head.
“You want me to tell him to go away?”
“No, that would be rude.”
“Not if I say please.”
She laughed, but that hurt her throat. And it was hot under the blanket, so she pulled it back down. The static did wonders for her hair.
Nick let Ryan in when he knocked, then hefted his backpack. “I have an essay due Friday. I’m going to go work on it in my room.”
Even with a fuzzy brain, Lauren appreciated the gesture. He wasn’t going away to sulk, but to give them some privacy.
She could see Ryan battling not to look amused by her appearance, but he lost. “You were fine yesterday. What the hell happened?”
“It’s always that way. Colds hit me hard and I have sensitive skin, so the red nose and puffy eye thing happens fast.”
“I can see that.” He held up a plastic tub of something. “Did you eat?”
“I’m not really hungry. Nick had some leftovers. There should be a couple more slices of homemade pizza in the fridge if you want them.”
“This is Rose’s miracle chicken soup. She told me to make sure you eat it.”
She sniffed and reached for her best friend, the tissue box. “I’m not hungry.”
“Maybe you missed the part where she told me to make sure you eat it.”
“Fine.” She pushed back the blanket and swung her legs off the couch.
“Nice outfit.”
She was wearing faded flannel sleep pants and a fleece pajama top with Christmas trees on it. And no bra. Whatever. Any man who got past the hair, eyes and red, runny nose wasn’t going to be put off by fleece and flannel. Not that she was trying to attract one.
She heard Ryan rummaging around in her kitchen and a few minutes later he brought her a bowl of soup, a spoon and a napkin, which he set on the coffee table in front of her. “Eat.”
He went back into the kitchen and a couple minutes later, she heard the microwave ding. She stared at the chicken soup, trying to work up the will to spoon it into her mouth.
Ryan sat down on the couch beside her, setting a plate with reheated pizza slices on the table. “Eat.”
She picked up the spoon and ran it through the bowl. There were bite-size chunks of chicken and some veggies and rice in a dark, rich broth. She wished she could smell it. Then she took a bite, flavor exploded in her mouth and her eyes watered a little.
“Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you it has a little more bite than the average chicken soup.”
“What kind of spices does she use?”
“I don’t know, but it’s delicious. And keep those tissues close, because it won’t be long before your sinuses start breaking loose.”
“Oh, that’s sexy,” she muttered.
He eyed the outfit again. “Were you going for that?”
She gave a short laugh and then dug into the soup again. He was right. After the initial shock faded, it really was delicious.
“So how come you didn’t call me? I had no idea you were sick, and you know I would have given Nick a ride home.”
“I know, but you’re trying to get the roof done and I didn’t want to be a bother.”
“That’s pretty lame.”
“You can’t be mean to me right now. I’m sick.”
“Which I found out when your ex-husband showed up in my driveway.”
She winced. “I honestly didn’t think he’d call Dean. After he called me and told me he did, I was going to call and give you a heads-up, but I t
hink I fell asleep. He seemed okay, though. Dean, I mean. He even apologized for acting like a jerk the day he brought Nick home early.”
“We talked a little. Enough.”
That was good. It made things a bit less awkward, at least. “I mostly didn’t call you because I knew you’d come running over, just because you’re that kind of guy, and I didn’t want you to see me like this. Not exactly a fun, sexy look.”
He had the nerve to chuckle at her. “It’s not as fun and sexy a look as the underwear you wore to the wedding, but it takes more than a stuffy nose to run me off. I’m that kind of guy.”
She was surprised when she looked down and her bowl was empty. “That was delicious.”
“There’s more in the tub for tomorrow night if you still feel crappy. Never have seconds, though. Whatever she puts in it will knock the hell out of the cold, but too much will eat up your stomach.”
She could already feel her stuffy nose transitioning to a runny nose, and she curled back up on the couch with her blanket and box of tissues.
When she looked at his plate, she laughed. There was nothing left but a little pile of mushrooms. “Not a fan of mushrooms, huh?”
“No, but I’m a big enough fan of pepperoni to pick the mushrooms off.”
“Oh, it’s almost time for Survivor,” she said, noticing the time. “I have to tell Nick. We never miss it.”
“I’ll get him.”
She watched him walk down the hall and knock on Nick’s door. “Your mom said it’s almost time for Survivor.”
“I’m coming!” he yelled back.
“He’s coming,” Ryan told her as he sat back down on the couch.
When he lifted her feet and set them on his lap so he could lean back, she smiled to herself and dug the remote out from under the blanket so she could put the TV on the right channel.
“Do you watch this?” Nick asked Ryan when he’d dropped into the easy chair.
“When I get a chance. I haven’t seen much of this season because I have a lot of paperwork and stuff to do for my office after I’m done working on the lodge. But I’ve seen a few.”
“Did you see the one where...”
Lauren tuned them out and blinked bleary-eyed at the television. There was less pressure in her sinuses and she wasn’t comfortable, but she wasn’t quite as miserable as she’d been. Especially with Ryan’s thumb rubbing the bottom of her foot.
She managed to stay focused on the first challenge, mostly because Ryan and Nick liked two totally opposing players and there was much shouting and trash-talking in her living room. But eventually their voices blended with the voices on the television and she started drifting in and out.
One of the times she drifted in, she found herself in Ryan’s arms as he carried her toward her bedroom. She smiled and nestled closer to his chest.
“Be still. I’m trying not to drop you or bash your head on the doorjamb.”
He got her to her bed without causing her injury, though, and waited for Nick to turn down the covers. Once he’d gotten her tucked in, he kissed her forehead. “I’ll call you tomorrow and check on you.”
“Okay.”
“’Night, hon,” Ryan said.
“Good night, Mom,” Nick echoed.
Lauren smiled and drifted back out.
* * *
Rose’s miracle chicken soup must have been exactly that, because by Wednesday she felt better enough to pick Nick up at the lodge herself. She didn’t see Ryan when she got out of the car, so she waved to the guys on the roof and to Nick, who was painting the trim on the barn’s windows and door, and went inside to say hi to Rose.
“Hi, honey,” Rose said when she went into the kitchen. “How are you feeling?”
“This is the fastest I’ve ever gotten over a cold. Thank you for sending the soup over with Ryan. Have you ever thought about canning and selling the stuff?”
“Nope. Wouldn’t be the same. I don’t give out the recipe anymore, either, because people always screw it up and then blame my recipe. When you or Nick catch a cold, you call me. I’ll get you some soup.”
From somewhere in the house, Lauren could hear Ryan. She couldn’t make out the words, but his voice was raised and he didn’t sound happy.
“I guess it’s hitting the fan down south,” Rose told her. “The poor boy’s been working on this place a month now and I think his business is starting to suffer. He’ll probably have to go back to only coming up on weekends like he was doing. And once they finish the roof, Dill and Matt won’t be coming up anymore. It’s going to feel empty around here.”
On the outside, Lauren nodded and made an appropriate “oh, that’s too bad” sound, but on the inside, she was reeling.
Logically, she’d known all along Ryan’s stay in Whitford was temporary. It was never intended to be anything but that. But it hadn’t felt that way. Their relationship was becoming comfortable and familiar and he’d made himself a part of her life. He hadn’t called her last night to check on her—he’d come over again and he’d brought supper and stayed to watch some television with her and Nick.
Almost like a family.
But Ryan’s life was in Massachusetts. He had a house she’d never seen. He had friends she’d never met and a business she knew nothing about. She knew he didn’t have a dog, but other than that, his life was a closed book to her.
The Ryan that was here—her Ryan—was just a visitor.
A few minutes later, he walked into the kitchen. His mouth was set in a grim line and the tension in his body didn’t ease when he saw her, though he did give her a quick kiss. “Hi, hon.”
“I hear you’re having troubles.”
“Yeah. Nothing I can’t fix, but I have to head home and deal with it.” Her heart twinged at the word “home.” “If all goes well, I’ll be back by late Friday afternoon or early evening.”
“When are you leaving?”
“In a few minutes. I need to throw my stuff in my bag and then I’ll head out.”
Rose turned to look at him, a half-peeled potato in her hand. “It’s a four-and-a-half-hour drive, Ryan. Can’t you leave in the morning?”
“Not and make a seven-o’clock meeting.”
“I should probably grab Nick and get out of the way,” Lauren said, heading toward the door.
Ryan gave her a funny look, then grabbed her hand and pulled her in for another kiss. “You’re never in the way. And I’m going to go talk to Nick. I want to tell him I’m leaving, but he’s also done with his punishment.”
Lauren felt her eyes widen. When Ryan started wrapping things up, he really went all out. “Okay.”
“Starting Monday, if he wants to keep working, he’ll get paid. I’ve already talked to Josh and there’s plenty of busywork around this place.”
So he wasn’t cutting Nick loose. She nodded and tried to smile. “I think he’d like that.”
“But I’ve gotta make it quick. Rosie, can you—” He turned to the housekeeper, but she was already pulling deli meat and the mayo out of the fridge. “Thanks. I’ll be right back.”
He went out the back door, bristling with angry energy, and Lauren sank onto one of the kitchen chairs. “That’s a long drive.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“After Josh broke his leg, Ryan was really driving up here on Friday nights and driving home on Sunday?”
“Not every weekend. And whenever he could, he’d take the Friday or Monday off so they could get more done up here.”
That would never work for an extended period of time, though. And how hard would it be on a relationship to only see each other on weekends? It would be especially hard for Ryan and Nick, since Nick spent those days with Dean.
“I can practically hear the wheels turning in your head, girl. Are you borrowing trouble o
ver there?”
Lauren sighed. “Not borrowing it. I already own it, but I guess I chose to ignore it until now.”
Rose set down her knife and crossed her arms. “You got married and had a baby young. You went through a divorce and you’ve been a single mother for eight years. You’ve been keeping a sixteen-year-old boy on a mostly straight path in a town with nothing to offer. And now you’re going to let two hundred and thirty miles kick your ass?”
Wow. She wasn’t sure she’d ever heard Rose say “ass” before. “It’s not just about the miles. He’s already a part of our lives, but I know nothing about his. I don’t even know what color his house his.”
“It’s beige. Inside and out, everything’s beige because he builds beautiful houses, but can’t decorate worth a damn.”
“Do you think he’s thought about it?” Lauren hated sounding needy, but nobody knew Ryan the way this woman did. “That we’re not a part of his life?”
“I don’t know. But I bet he will when he’s all alone in that big beige house for a couple of days and nights, missing you.”
Lauren smiled, imagining him stretched out on a beige couch, staring at the ceiling with nobody to talk to. Of course, there was always a chance he’d be happy to have the peace and quiet and decide he didn’t need the complication of a woman with a teenage son who lived hours away.
This time, when Ryan walked through the door, he smiled at her, looking a little bit more relaxed. Nick was at his heels and he grabbed his backpack out of the corner. Guess they were leaving.
Lauren stood up and gave Rosie a smile since she couldn’t really thank her for the advice in front of Ryan. “We should probably go. You’ve got a long drive ahead of you.”
He stepped close to her. “I’ll miss you.”
She certainly hoped so. “Call me when you get a chance. It’s going to be insane at work because Gary destroys the office if I’m gone an hour, never mind three sick days, but anytime after work hours.”
“I will.” He kissed her, maybe a little longer and harder than he should have in the kitchen, but nobody complained. “I’ll see you Friday.”
All He Ever Desired (The Kowalskis) Page 17