by Meg Anne
“Describe her to me.”
Effie sighed. “Blonde hair, cold blue eyes, her hand is wrapped around the man’s throat as she yells at him.”
Helena shivered, not liking how close the description was to her own actions.
“What else?” Von prompted.
“She has a crown…”
“What kind of crown?”
Effie’s eyes scrunched in confusion. “Light? No, that’s not right. It looks like it’s glowing. It’s casting light… it’s fire?” Effie opened her eyes, looking at the others. “Why would Rowena be wearing a crown like that? Helena is the one who’s supposed to wear the Crown of Embers.”
Helena flinched at the words, every eye in the room focusing on her.
“She wants the crown?” Kragen offered.
Timmins shook his head. “It’s not just the crown she wants. She wants Helena’s power.”
The others continued to throw out suggestions, but Helena had her own suspicion. “Effie?”
Wide cornflower blue eyes met hers. “Yes?”
“Was there,” Helena swallowed, “was there a mirror in your vision?”
“A mirror?”
Helena nodded.
Effie closed her eyes, going silent for a few seconds before she responded. “Yes.” She opened her eyes. “What does that mean?”
Helena’s shoulders dropped. “It means that it was never Rowena that you Saw. It was always me.”
Quiet filled the room as her words sunk in.
“But why? That would mean the vision wasn’t triggered by your question at all.”
Helena shrugged. “It was stranger that we thought it had been. Miranda never mentioned any of her visions working that way. I think it was purely coincidence that you happened to inherit your power in that moment.”
Effie frowned.
“I am the mirror,” Helena said matter-of-factly. “You saw my crown on her head, because it was a warning of what would happen when we got here. Of who I would become. She brings out the worst in me, the parts of me that are most like her. It’s what she’s always wanted.”
“No, that’s not possible. You are the Vessel.”
“And she is the Corruptor. Every move she’s made has been with the hope of making me snap. It’s why she went after my Mate.” Helena shuddered. “She has no idea how close she was to succeeding.”
“Helena,” Von started, his eyes turning gold.
She stopped him with the lift of her hand. “When Darrin first told me who I was, he reminded me that like calls to like, of what it would mean if I became corrupted. If Rowena is successful, think of what she could accomplish with me on her side.”
“But you’d never join her,” Effie protested.
“Not unless pushed past all reason,” Von said.
“Fuck me,” Ronan whispered. “This has all been a trap. Everything.”
Helena nodded. “She’s been a step ahead of us this whole time.”
“She is toying with you,” Kragen growled.
“She wants to break me so that I will destroy the Chosen.”
“What sense does that make? Who would be left to rule?” Effie asked.
Dread pooled in Helena’s stomach as she replied, “Those that she’s already corrupted. It would be the start of the Shadow Years. Literally. And I would be the ultimate puppet.”
Von moved into her line of sight, forcing her to meet his gaze. “That is never going to happen.”
“Of course it fucking isn’t!” Ronan shouted. “Helena, you can’t possibly think she’s going to win.”
“Look at what happened today,” she whispered. “She got to me.”
“Who wouldn’t be affected by what she had done to those children?” Ronan asked.
Helena shrugged helplessly. “Who else could have done what I did, because of their reaction?”
There was no answer to that, because there was no one else. Only Helena, in her capacity as the Vessel, could have mete out that kind of punishment.
“But it was the Mother’s justice,” Timmins insisted.
“Unless it wasn’t.”
Helena felt like her mind was spinning in a million different directions. There was still something they were missing. A piece of the puzzle that they didn’t have that was keeping them from being able to see a truth just out of their reach.
Von grasped her face in his hands. “There is nothing, nothing,” he repeated, “that could ever bring you to the darkness.”
“You’re wrong.”
“You are nothing but light, Helena. You are my light.”
Tears started to fill her eyes at the certainty in his voice. She may be confused, but there was not a trace of doubt in her Mate.
“Do you hear me?” he asked, his forehead dropping to hers.
“Yes,” she said for his ears alone.
“I will keep reminding you until you believe in yourself as much as I do.”
“I do not deserve your faith in me. I do not deserve you.”
“Yes, you do. Otherwise the Mother would have never brought us together.”
“Perhaps this is the game,” Ronan said thoughtfully, breaking her from the spell Von had wrapped around her. “Maybe she wants you to be crippled by doubt so that you are too afraid to do what must be done.”
Helena could neither agree nor disagree with his assessment. They had grossly underestimated the woman.
The simple fact was, when it came to Rowena, anything was possible.
Helena paced, her earlier revelations keeping her from being able to find any solace in sleep. All of it was a terrifying montage that haunted her waking hours. Who needed nightmares when their reality was one already?
She had come to her garden to walk amongst the simplest form of beauty, needing to see something pure and untainted. Especially now when she could hardly stand to look upon her own reflection. The truth was, she felt unclean. Rowena may not have actually corrupted her, but it felt like it.
When they’d gotten home, Helena had scrubbed her skin until she felt raw, and still it had done nothing to remove the sense of vile filth that surrounded her. This was not a superficial grime that could be removed with ease. It was a dirty smear that defiled her very soul. She may never feel clean again.
“What are you doing out here alone?” Von asked, stepping away from the tree she had once caused to burst with life. It had been in a state of eternal bloom ever since. The memory felt like it belonged to someone else. Helena wished that her foibles were still only minor inconveniences. Mistakes now could lead, and quite frankly had already led, to innocent people being killed.
Helena shrugged, not having a simple answer for her Mate.
He walked toward her, his eyes glittering in the pale moonlight. His fingers brushed against her flowers, until he grasped one and plucked it from its bush. He offered it to her silently.
She accepted his gift, holding the blossom up to her nose to sniff its heady fragrance.
“Beautiful,” she sighed, returning her attention to him.
“Yes, you are,” Von agreed, brushing his thumb along her jaw and leaning down to kiss her.
“You have a habit of giving me flowers,” she murmured once he pulled away.
“They make you smile.”
“Mother knows I could certainly use something to smile about right about now.” Von gestured toward the flower, making her laugh. “Touché.”
“That’s better.”
Helena rested her head against his shoulder, curling into his body and welcoming the warmth that surrounded her as he held her close. “I’m scared,” she whispered.
“I know.”
Of course he did. Given their bond, he likely felt her emotions as if they were his own. “I’m trying to be strong.”
He tipped her chin up. “You are strong.”
“I don’t feel like it. How did she weave that web so carefully? How did she know I’d go there?”
Von loosed a breath and looked over her head and
into the night as he contemplated her question. “From a tactical standpoint, it makes sense that you would go to investigate Endoshan after learning of their betrayal. She had to assume at some point you would find your way there, and so she left a surprise for you to stumble across along your way. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a few other similar presents scattered along Elysia for you to discover. Even if you don’t find them all, you’d be certain to come across at least one of them.”
Helena nodded thoughtfully. “I just hate that she was right. She seems to know me better than I know her.”
“She sees your compassion as a weakness to exploit. What she doesn’t understand is that she’s wrong.”
“Is she? It worked, didn’t it?”
“You lose sight of your wins so easily.”
Helena lifted her shoulder in a shrug. “It was a draw at best. She still proved her point.”
“So did you.”
She tilted her head to stare up at him. “How can your belief in me be so unwavering?”
“I know your soul,” Von said simply, holding his hand just above her heart. “If our situations were reversed, would you doubt me?”
“Not for a second.”
“There you go.”
“But—”
He placed a finger against her lips. “Maybe the question you should be asking is why are you so quick to question yourself? We are the same, you and I; two halves of a whole. If you would not doubt me, there’s no reason you should doubt yourself.”
She smiled under his finger before nipping at it.
“Light always shines brightest in the dark,” he said before claiming her mouth in a heated kiss.
Helena melted into him, loving the way they fit together in every sense of the word.
“Your pep talks have gotten better,” she teased.
“I’ve had a great mentor.”
She chuckled. “I love you.”
“And I you.”
Snuggling back into him, she asked, “So what should I do now, Oh Wise One?”
“You seek out the darkness and you shine.”
“When you put it that way, it sounds so easy.”
Von’s laughter rumbled beneath her, and as always, Helena found peace in the arms of the man who could see her even when she lost sight of herself.
Chapter Eighteen
It had been three days, and Helena was no closer to figuring out where to go next. The more time they gave Rowena to scheme, the worse it was going to be once they found her. They needed to act. Now.
“I don’t see any way around it,” Helena said on a defeated sigh, “we need to go to Bael and seek out the Triumvirate.”
Ronan let out a low growl, and Helena peered up at him with tired eyes. Her Shield had not forgotten what happened the last time they had come face-to-face with the powerful trio. Even Von, who had only heard about it after the fact, looked darkly unhappy.
“Look, I don’t like it any more than you do. But we’re lost here, and I don’t see any of you coming up with better ideas. Best case scenario, they point us in the right direction. Worst case, we’re in the exact same position we are now.”
“It might be good for Effie to meet some of the other Keepers. She could probably use some of their guidance right about now,” Timmins said thoughtfully.
Helena clung to the words. “See, exactly! Even more of a reason to go to the Keepers.”
“What does Effie have to say about this?” Kragen asked.
“I haven’t exactly mentioned it to her yet,” Helena admitted. “If she’d rather not come, I’m not going to force her to. It’s got to be her choice.”
The others nodded their agreement.
“So it’s settled.”
“Helena,” Joquil interjected.
She turned toward her Master. “Yes?”
“Do you know where exactly to find the Keepers?”
Helena’s face fell. She did not. There was only one among them who did, and she was dead. “Mother’s tits, I can’t catch a break,” she swore, drawing some amused looks from her Circle.
“I might have an idea,” Ronan said.
She turned to him hopefully.
“The Forest of Whispers borders Bael, perhaps Reyna and the Night Stalkers know where to start.”
“Good call. I much prefer that option to the one I had.”
“Which was?” he asked, his lips already curling up in a smirk.
“Wandering around Bael aimlessly until we found them.”
“I should have known,” Ronan replied. “You always do seem to prefer the direct approach.”
Helena rolled her eyes. He was really starting to turn into the older brother she never wanted. Never wanted, but dearly loved.
There were a few chuckles as the others began to stand, sensing that the meeting was coming to a close.
“It’s more likely that they would have found us,” Timmins muttered as he pushed his chair in, the heavy wood scraping across the stone floor.
Helena was inclined to agree, especially given their history of sneaking up on her. “Well, either way.”
He gave her a small smile and made his way toward the door. “I’ll go find Effie and let her know what we are planning.”
“Thank you.”
The men filtered out until only Von was left. He tugged on her braid, leaning over to kiss her once before heading out. “I think a couple of the Talyrians should come with us.”
That reminded her of something she’d been meaning to ask him. “Speaking of Talyrians… does Starshine seem to be acting strange to you?”
Von stopped and lifted a brow. “You mean more than usual?”
Helena bit her lip. “I don’t know what it is, but she seems more… restless? Agitated? I’m not sure, just more something since we’ve returned from Vyruul.”
“Perhaps having her pride in that kind of danger upset her.”
“Mmm, perhaps,” she murmured.
“You think it’s something else?”
Helena shrugged. “The pride has been in hiding. No one has been allowed to see them, not even me. Starshine actually growled at me when I tried to visit them yesterday.”
Von tried not to laugh at the childlike offense his Mate had clearly taken to the rebuff.
“Do you think one of the pride has been injured and that’s why she doesn’t want anyone around? She’s protecting them?”
It was Von’s turn to shrug. “She’s a Queen, it seems like something she would do. Hell, it’s something that you would do. Perhaps you should try again. If one of them is harmed, Starshine may not want to leave them.”
Helena frowned. The thought of something happening to one of those beautiful creatures had her stomach churning. She should have paid closer attention, but she’d been distracted by Miranda’s death and then Effie’s vision. There hadn’t been any free time to spend with the Talyrian Queen, which was why she hadn’t had a chance to go see her before yesterday. Helena intended to remedy that oversight and try again with a bit more insistence today.
“Good idea, I’ll go down there now.”
“Want me to come with you?” he offered.
“No, I don’t think so. I want to give them as few reasons as possible to turn me away. Another human might tip the scales against me.”
He nodded. “Let me know if you need me.”
“I always need you.” She smiled.
His eyes glowed with silver fire. “Likewise, my love.”
With a wink, he was gone, and Helena went to make good on her promise.
Leaves crackled underneath her boots as Helena made her way into the series of caves the Talyrians had claimed as their own. It was only a short hike away from the Palace, the main entry just off a bubbling brook that wound its way through her gardens and into a small knot of trees. Prior to her travels, Helena would have considered the trees a forest in their own right, but after experiencing the Forest of Whispers, and even Bael, she knew the description did not ring true.<
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She purposely made as much noise as possible, not wanting the Talyrians to feel as though she was sneaking up on them. Given that their hearing was likely far superior to her own, she did not think it was necessary, but she didn’t want to take any chances.
From the moody swipe of Starshine’s tail when Helena approached the cave entrance, it would seem she had made the right decision.
“Hello, my beautiful girl.”
Starshine snorted, plumes of smoke rising from her snout.
“Is that any way to greet your friend?” Helena asked, keeping her voice light. She held up her empty hands to signal her intention.
Starshine’s turquoise eyes tracked the movement. The only sign of the creature’s unease was the nervous flick of her tail.
Helena noted the twitch, but carried on anyway. She took two tentative steps forward, her back stiffening as Starshine bared her teeth and began to growl low in her throat. Knowing she was treading on dangerous ground, Helena stopped entirely.
“Is it all humans that you are mad at, or is it just me?”
Starshine whined and pawed the air, her massive claws sheathed but still deadly.
Helena wasn’t sure how to interpret that answer.
“Did something happen to one of the pride?” she asked in a soft voice.
From the drop of Starshine’s head at the question, Helena could only infer that she was correct.
“Are they injured? Would you like me to help?”
Starshine huffed, a low angry sound.
Helena swallowed. The Talyrian had never done anything to threaten her before, and while the actions Starshine made were mildly aggressive, Helena did not think they were aimed at her specifically.
“Did… did someone not survive the attack?” she asked in a horrified whisper, for it was the only thing she could think of that would provoke this kind of hostility.
Starshine opened her mouth and roared. Heat blasted against Helena as Starshine’s breath rushed over her, causing her cloak and hair to fly back.
Helena’s hands were shaking as she held them up again. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered brokenly, closing the distance between them and wrapping her arms around Starshine’s neck.