by Meg Anne
Helena was absently aware that she had started pacing. Her mind was trying to tell her something. Something that had to do with Miranda. If only she could figure out what.
Frustrated, she sighed, stopping in her tracks. She wasn’t getting anywhere, and the longer she was awake, the faster she lost the threads of her dream, which meant if there were clues hidden there, she was quickly losing access to them.
“Oh blast it!” she cursed under her breath, grabbing a lilac robe from the chair where she’d discarded it earlier. She belted the robe loosely and headed for the door. There was no way she was going to fall back asleep now, so she might as well try and get some work done.
If she couldn’t recall the specifics of the dream, maybe going to the last place she’d spent time with Miranda might trigger something. It was as good a plan as any this early in the morning. Especially since she couldn’t exactly run the idea by others since the rest of her Circle were still abed. She might as well make use of the quiet time to see if she couldn’t get any farther deciphering that vision.
Helena moved quickly through the halls of the Palace, not stopping to appreciate any of the small touches that usually captivated her attention. It was completely quiet, something that rarely happened given the number of people running around at any given minute, but for once, it was calm. Dim lights danced in their orbs to light the way for anyone that might need to move around while it was still dark out. It was just enough to see by, and she made her way to the library in record time.
She pushed open the heavy door and stepped into the dark room. There was no natural light in here, so the room was pitch black except for where a sliver of light fell in from the doorway. Helena used her power to softly illuminate the room and then closed the door behind her. The table she’d spent so much time at when trying to find a spell to fool Rowena sat untouched. Helena smiled, Alina must have refused to let anyone put the books away in case Helena had need of them.
Looking down, her eyes ran over the titles while her fingers brushed against the leather-bound tomes. There was something lovely about all the scrolling text and faded colors. So much knowledge hidden within the dusty pages, painstakingly preserved by one who thought it important enough to pass on. If only answers were that easy to find. Helena wished there was a way for her to simply ask her question aloud and have the exact book she needed be pulled out and opened to the page where the answer lay. How easy that would make things.
She lowered herself into the comfortable armchair and pulled her robe more tightly around her. She let her head fall back against its cushioned surface while her mind returned to the last time she was here.
What was it Miranda had told her? Something about trying to think about the problem from a different angle. Alright, fine. All this time they’d assumed that the web was Rowena’s given that she was the spider. But what if it wasn’t? Whose else could it be? What else could it represent?
Helena lost track of time as she contemplated the answers to these questions.
According to Effie, the strands of the web had all been different. It reminded Helena a bit of the time she’d been in Bael, her power making her see the colorful strands of power within each of her Circle.
“Maybe the web is a trap created by many,” Helena mused, following that train of thought. “Or one so elaborate that it requires significant power to complete it.”
Helena’s fingers brushed against one of the books, the glittering gold of its title barely visible in the soft light. The Power of Illusions. Her finger traced the gilded letters. It wasn’t until she was on the second looping o that something snapped into place. Helena sat up.
“Illusions.”
That last time she’d been in here, she’d been trying to discover how to create an illusion powerful enough to hide the Night Stalkers in plain sight.
“Is that what you were trying to help me remember?” she asked, not sure who she was talking to. Helena began talking her way through possible answers. “The illusion of a web. No, it’s not that literal. Okay… so something that makes it look like I am trapped. Something big enough and believable enough that Rowena buys it.”
Excitement had her jumping from the chair. She knew that she was on the right track now. After a few more minutes of mulling over the details, she actually laughed out loud; the answer was so obvious. “The trap is not for me! It’s for Rowena! Something to draw her out so that this final battle can be on our terms!”
Helena could feel the truth in her words, and relief filled her. That was what the vision had been showing them. Finally, they had an answer about what to do, but as quickly as her excitement came, it fled.
Helena slumped back into the chair. She’d managed to solve the puzzle, but now she had a bigger problem. What illusion could she possibly cast that would be enticing enough for Rowena to crawl out of hiding?
“You want to do what?” Ronan asked incredulously.
“I want to lay a trap.”
“Right, I heard that part,” Ronan said. “Where you lost me is the bit about how you are planning to use yourself as bait.”
Helena folded her arms. “What part about it are you struggling with?”
“The part where your life is in danger!” he snapped, looking at Von. “Are you just going to sit there or are you going to help me talk some sense into your Mate?”
Von did not look much happier than Ronan, although he’d already resigned himself to her decision. After all, he could appreciate the brilliance of the strategy, even as he hated what it would require.
“You cannot ask us to stand aside while you practically hand yourself over to that she-bitch.”
Helena knew that it was fear that made him speak to her like she was incapable of protecting herself, but even still, the insinuation stung. “You don’t actually get a say in this, you do realize that, don’t you?”
Ronan glowered at her.
Turning to address the others Helena added, “None of you have to help me, but this is what I need to do. Every time we’ve fought her until now it’s been on her terms. That has to stop. We cannot possibly win while Rowena has the upper hand. This is our only way to change that.”
None of her men looked happy, but they could not disagree with the assessment.
“How do you plan to lure her?” Joquil asked.
Helena pressed her lips together. This is where things got a little murky. She had the rough sketch of a plan, but not a fully realized idea. She was hoping that they would help fill in those gaps, but given their state of mind, they might be more inclined to use the holes to argue against her.
“I want to create an illusion.”
Timmins frowned. “How do you plan on casting an illusion grand enough to reach her where she is?”
“Well, I want it to be big enough that news reaches her wherever she is hiding.”
“So this is not just an illusion for Rowena, this is something that will affect anyone who sees it?” Von clarified.
Helena nodded. “I think that’s the only way it will work.”
“Something on that scale is going to require substantial power, perhaps even more than you are capable of accessing alone,” Joquil said, his brows low over his worried amber eyes.
“I think it’s safe to say it definitely will require more power than I possess.”
“Even with our bond?” Von asked, his eyes darkening.
Helena nodded.
“So you use the Jaka and pull from the rest of the Circle,” Kragen said with a shrug.
“It won’t be enough.”
The silence spoke volumes. They were finally starting to realize the scope of what she was talking about.
“So where do you plan on getting access to that kind of power?”
“I’m not entirely sure yet, but I know that there is a way.”
“Alright,” Ronan interjected, “so let’s say you get the power source figured out. What kind of illusion are you talking about?”
Helena took a deep breath, shifting uncom
fortably in her chair. “Rowena’s gift in Endoshan was meant to be a trigger. She doesn’t know yet that we’ve already found it, so I want her to think it worked. The one thing we have always been able to count on with Rowena is her pride. She thinks that she is infallible. If she believes that I fell for her trap and turned, she will come running to collect her prize.”
While she’d been speaking, Helena had been staring resolutely down at the table, but once she was done, she looked back up. Von’s eyes were the first to find hers.
“You’re going to pretend that you have turned.” His voice was quiet thunder.
Helena nodded slowly.
“And you plan on being convincing enough that Rowena isn’t the only one that falls for it?”
“Yes.”
“What kind of destruction are you talking?” Kragen asked, his face serious.
Helena lifted her eyes to him. “Absolute.”
“Mother’s tits,” Ronan swore. “Can you actually do that?”
“I think so. I’ve already been shown what my corruption looks like,” Helena paused to let out a humorless laugh. “Trust me, it’s not a sight you easily forget.”
“Your trial,” Timmins whispered, remembering her description of what had transpired there.
“What happens when she comes for you?” Von asked. He was no longer sitting at the table but had stood and was holding himself stiffly. He looked like he had a very loose grasp on his control.
Helena forced herself to stand.
“Helena, what happens when she comes for you?” he repeated, his voice deadly soft. He’d never spoken to her that way before, it was a tone he reserved exclusively for those he had at the tip of his sword.
She pushed her shoulders back and tilted her chin up, refusing to be intimidated.
“Answer the question,” he growled.
“She takes me.”
The room erupted. Before she could move, Von had blinked and had destroyed the table by landing on top of it. Splinters were still falling around them. The others had barely pushed out of their chairs in time, but even they had rounded on her.
“Absolutely not,” Von snarled, his nose pressed against hers.
“She has to believe she’s won.”
“No. Fucking. Way.” He enunciated each word slowly, his eyes pure gold.
“She has—”
“No!” he shouted. “You want to do this fine, but she does not lay a hand on you.”
Helena forced herself to breathe and not react to his temper. Von was terrified. She could feel the tidal wave of emotion surging through her. He had been Rowena’s prisoner once, and the thought of Helena being put in a similar situation was causing him to unravel. The only way to defuse him was to help him calm down.
“We will not give her time to actually harm me,” Helena insisted, forcing her voice to stay steady as she mentally added or not very much. This wouldn’t work without proof. Rowena would need to be certain of her victory before letting her guard down long enough for them to strike.
Von tilted his head, looking like an inquisitive Talyrian. “Explain.”
“While Rowena is distracted by me, the rest of you will attack. We need to finish off the Generals so that while Rowena and I are alone, I can finally end her.”
Von’s eyes searched hers and he started to shake his head. “I don’t like it. There’s something you aren’t saying.”
She could feel him probing at her mind, and so she reinforced every mental barrier she had. It was the first time she’d ever actively tried to keep him out. From the wounded look in his eyes, Von knew what she was doing.
“This is the only way.”
Her Circle was silent, the five men each processing her words.
“Are you sure?” Kragen asked.
“As sure as I can be.”
“How much can we tell the others?” Joquil asked.
“As little as possible,” Helena said with a wince. Sometimes to save a friend, you have to play the enemy. In her case, it might not be enough to simply play. Helena shut down that line of thinking, not ready to contemplate all of the ways this could go wrong.
Timmins’ brows pulled together in a frown. “It will not be easy to keep this from everyone.”
“They can know we set a trap, but not what it is. I think it’s safer for everyone that way.”
“I will start working with Kragen and the others on a strategy,” Ronan said. It was as close as she was going to get at a peace offering right now.
Helena nodded.
“Joquil and I will see what we can find about helping you acquire the additional power that you will need,” Timmins offered.
“Thank you.”
The four of them left, leaving Von and her alone.
“You’re really going to do this?” he asked.
“I have to.”
“This will not be an easy part for you to play,” he said levelly.
“I know.”
“There are some who will never fully trust you again.”
“I know,” she said again, her voice trembling slightly.
Von let out a deep breath, his shoulders falling. Running a hand through his hair, he shook his head. “She’ll never believe you’ve turned if I’m still unharmed.”
Helena swallowed. She hadn’t considered that.
“You’re going to have to use me.”
Helena began to shake her head. “No. I don’t want you anywhere near this.”
Von shrugged. “We all have our parts to play. You committed us to this path, and according to you, there’s no other way but through. So we will walk down it. Together.”
“Von,” she whispered, knowing he was right and hating what it meant.
“It will be the thing that convinces the others.” He gave her a grim but determined smile. “In this case, Mira. I think you have to ask yourself, what would Rowena do?”
Helena frowned. The kind of game he was talking about was a dangerous one indeed. “With as much power as I think will be running through me, there’s no guarantee…” she trailed off, not able to say the words out loud. “The damage could be permanent. You could be seriously hurt.”
Von closed the distance between them, pulling her into his arms and resting his head on top of hers. “So could you, Mira. It is the risk we take whenever we step onto the battlefield.”
The adrenaline that had been running through her ever since she woke up that morning had finally started to ebb, leaving her exhausted. She knew this plan was risky, but she also knew it was their only option. She had been okay with the idea of getting hurt herself if it meant saving the others, but the thought of Von suffering at her hands made her ill.
“I don’t know if I can do it,” she said into his chest. “The chance of losing control…”
Von pressed a finger to her lips, his eyes so filled with love that her heart ached. “I’ve told you before, I trust you with my life, Helena. Now’s my chance to prove it.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Von watched Helena retreat further into herself. Her aqua eyes stared unseeing out the window and her arms were wrapped protectively around her middle. As the days passed and they struggled to find the answers she needed, she grew more despondent and withdrawn. He knew that the thought of having to deceive the people she loved was weighing on her, and the longer she had to put it off, the more time she had to think about all of the things that could go wrong.
He was in awe of her power. The fact that she had the capability of creating an illusion on that grand a scale was hard for him to comprehend. He recalled the nightmarish day when they’d received Rowena’s box, and the rush of power he’d experienced as Helena channeled her resulting rage through him to siphon it off. At the time, he’d thought she must have finally reached the limit of what she could control.
Von shook his head at his foolishness. He now realized that was only a teardrop in the ocean compared to the amount she would have to manipulate and maintain for what she was abou
t to attempt.
He’d tried to talk her through it, but words were empty. It wasn’t like he had any sort of firsthand knowledge about what she was going through. Hand him a sword and point him in the right direction and he’d figure it out as he went, but this… this was a whole different battlefield.
Von sighed, his lips drawn in a flat line. All he knew for sure was that watching her go through this, and being helpless to do anything, was driving him mad. He’d already worn out three training dummies and four new recruits trying to find an outlet for the pent-up frustration. Ronan had banned him from the practice ring after he’d knocked a Daejaran trainee unconscious with a single blow, which meant that now, even that small bit of relief had been taken from him.
He let his eyes trail along his Mate, noting the pensive crease between her arched brows and the way her lips tilted in a frown. Even now, she still managed to take his breath away.
There was a mistaken belief amongst the Chosen that the Mother’s Vessel was perfect. Those were the ones that did not truly see her; the ones that did not understand her. For Von, it was obvious, but then, she was his other half. Helena’s true power stemmed from her flaws. She may not be perfect in the general sense of the term, but he wouldn’t have wanted her if she had been. How could someone who had never truly experienced life and all of its messiness ever fully understand one such as him? But Helena did, and it was because she was no stranger to grief, or humility, or anger. Things someone can only ever learn by experiencing firsthand the pain of mistakes and heartache. She was wholly alive, and she had been made for him; a gift he still thanked the Mother for daily, even though he still didn’t quite believe he deserved it. And because she was his, he would do anything to save her. Even if it meant sacrificing himself.
What good was life when your reason for living was gone?
Von pushed off of the wall and started to walk toward her, wanting to smooth away the worried crease between her eyes. Before he could reach her, a knock sounded on the door, drawing everyone’s attention as it opened without waiting for permission.
His brother tipped his dark head inside.