by D Wills
“Really?” I try to control the sudden stammer in my voice, but it’s hard when he’s electrifying my entire body! “Yeh, of course. I was hoping when you were wandering over to me that you’d noticed me looking at you. I actually freaked out, I thought you were coming to tell me to quit it” My mouth drops open. “I’ve never even seen you look at me!” I exclaim, “ But I like it that you did.” “So am I” His fingers trail along my side causing me to jump as he tickles me – although I'm not sure that was the reaction he was looking for. His cheeks flush and he moves his hand away from my body. “So … there’s the Autumn Arrival ball next week,” he recovers. I’d forgotten all about that, I was going to go to do my job, and it seems our school has a slight obsession with balls. There’s the ‘Spring Fling', the ‘Midsummer’s Dream Ball’, the impending ‘Autumn Arrival Ball’, the end the year ‘Winter Waltz’, and of course there’s Prom in the middle of all that. Then there are the after-parties and beach gatherings. I swear the social calendar is fuller than the academic one! “Would you like to go with me?” he asks, looking deeper into my eyes. His eyes penetrate me to my core and turn everything I thought I knew about myself upside down. I didn’t ever dream about the possibility of going with someone else but going with Josh sounds like the perfect idea, my very first real date.
Josh’s eyes change from the chocolate brown to the darker variety as he looks around anxiously. I’m too wrapped up in picturing the night than actually agreeing for it to happen. “I’d love to,” I do my best to keep my voice light rather than delirious with how happy I'm feeling right now. “Great,” he grins. “I really need to get going now; I promised my gramps I’d help him in the house.” Reluctance seeps into his voice, which lifts my whole heart. I nod glancing at my watch “Whoa is that the time already?” It’s near six. Allana’s going to wonder where I’ve got to seeing as school lets out at three. “I better go too. You need to me to drop you at your car?” “I forgot about that. You sure you don’t mind? Feels a bit backwards you driving me home in a way,” he laughs uncomfortably. “It’s fine. I drive past school to get home anyway.” Standing I brush the sand off the back of my legs. Josh jumps up next to me placing his hand on the lower part of my back. We walk towards the car park, both glancing at each other and laughing. He moves his hand to grab mine, his eyes shine, and his smile has never been more gorgeous. I don’t know why I ever doubted our feelings for each other. Nothing has ever felt righter than this. We reach the car, and I start to fumble around in my bag for my keys letting go of Josh’s hand in the process. He moves his hands to my hips, leans back against my car and pulls me towards him. I forget about searching for my keys and allow him to press my body against his. I can feel every hard line of his body mirroring the soft rises and dips of my own. Breathing in his entrancing scent the electric buzz comes alive between us again as one of his hands moves further up my back and the other snakes around my waist. Tingles start at my toes and spread rapidly to my thighs, Josh leans in towards me, and I willingly arch my neck tilting my head up, so my lips are easily in reach. His eyes close and I hear him groan as his breath hits my mouth - and then my phone rings. I stop frozen in his arms, his lips so close to mine if I moved slightly mine would mould against his. Josh laughs first shaking his head to the floor. I laugh too staring at the sky and silently cursing the Fates! I pull my phone out of my bag as Josh walks around to the passenger side of the car. Whoever is on the end of this line better have something good to say. “Hello,” I almost bark down the line but I compose myself just in time. I unlock the car and climb in as Josh does the same. “Acacia?” Allana’s voice comes through, and she sounds worried. “Are you ok? Where are you?” Why is she so concerned? She never usually worries if I'm not home within the exact time it takes to drive from school. And yes she has timed it; it was a precautionary measure when I first came to the mortal realms so she’d know if I were in trouble! “Yeh I’m fine Lana. Why what’s up?” I turn to Josh and roll my eyes, hoping he gets that I'm sorry about all this.
“Nothing, just wondered where you’d got to.” Her voice shakes as she tries to make it casual, but I can still hear the tension. “I was at the beach. I'm heading home now.” I try to end the conversation, but Allana doesn’t reply. “Lana?” “Yeh … um … ok. I’ll see you when you get here.” The line goes dead. A gut curdling feeling starts in the pit of my stomach. If something has got Allana worried, I seriously need to be worried too. “Bit overprotective?” Josh interrupts my internal questioning “What, sorry?” Now is not the time to start worrying about my Goddess side of life; I need to try and focus on the mortal part. “Yeh, she is a bit.” The look on Josh’s face as he scans around my car quickly stops my mental overdrive! I try to look round too without him noticing, to make sure there’s nothing embarrassing hanging around. “Nice car” he says. He’s just being polite considering what I’ve seen him drive - well the outside anyway - but if the interior is only a tenth as cool, my car is easily put to shame. “Bit girlier than what you’re used to be being seen in” I smile at him. “You going to be embarrassed if we see any of your friends?” Josh takes a second to give me an ‘Are you being serious?' look. “Of course I'm not. Trust me, if anyone did see me sitting in your car, they wouldn’t be thinking 'Ha, look at Josh in that car', they’d be thinking 'How the hell did Josh manage to get a ride with Acacia?” he relaxes into the seat to prove his point. I blush slightly as I stop at the traffic lights.
Josh switches my cd player on. What was the last thing I had playing!!!, Please don’t be anything that will cause me instant mortification! “Ah, I love this band,” Josh turns up the music. I laugh as he starts to rock out in his seat. We reach the car park way too soon, and Josh hops out of the car. He walks over to my side and leans down onto my open window. “I had fun today,” his words are as soft as marshmallows. “Me too,” I quietly answer. Just being this close to him starts a fire inside of me. Josh glances at his car and back to me. I greedily breathe in his scent again; which would be illegal if anyone knew the effect it has. “I’ll call you about the ball.” He runs his hand over mine and heads off to his car. I stare after him mouth agape; I don’t know how many of these near misses I can handle without going crazy.
Destroyed
~10~
“Allana” I call as soon as I walk in the front door. I'm beginning to think every time I walk into my house I shout her name. Allana comes running down the stairs, her eyes red from crying. “Are you alright? What’s happened?” I frantically ask. Allana pats me over and madly looks me up and down, turning me round so she can see every side of me. When she’s visually satisfied that I look alright, she sits down on the bottom step and points to the space next to her, I sit. She takes a deep breath. “Amora has told Eros about Josh” That familiar sense of uneasiness comes back. If Allana’s this upset, then what Amora was saying was true. “She told me that it was too late to save you and that they’d already got to you,” she continues, her eyes fixed on the door in front of her. I put my hand in hers and squeeze.
“That who had already got to me?” I ask, quite concerned myself. Allana puts her arms around me, “No one forget about it her lies don’t even mater I just over-reacted.” She forces her face into an uncomfortable smile and wraps her arms around me tightly. “Maybe you were right?” I smile at her reassuringly. “What are you talking about?” “Well if Amora has told Eros about Josh and he hasn’t done anything then you were right he doesn't care enough!” Allana half smiles, “Perhaps” I look at Allana and don’t see my caring mother figure. Instead, she looks half-crazed. Her usually manicured nails have been chewed, and her hair isn’t styled and shiny like normal. “Everything’s going to be ok,” I try to soothe her. She looks over at me and strokes my face. “I know it is. Amora just had me worried. I'm going to go visit Eros and clear this all up.” Allana goes to get up, but I grab her wrist. “Clear all what up?” “I'm going to go and speak with Eros about you and Josh” “Is that really the best idea?
Why don’t we just leave things how they are now? Eros knows about Josh and isn’t going to do anything” I nod hopefully. “He will do something your best chance is me getting permission from him for you to be with Josh” “What? Permission! I don’t need his god damn permission!” “Cas calm down, I know having to ask him doesn't sound fair, but that’s your only chance. Whether we like our life or not he owns us so yes you need his permission” My body shakes with disgust. “Well how’s that even going to work if Amora’s already told him – how can we then back track to ask him if it’s ok!” “Because you haven’t kissed him yet, have you?” I squirm next to her no longer liking where this conversation is going. “Acacia?” “No!” “Well then we’ve still got a chance” Whoopee! I have a chance that my spoilt immortal master will allow me to be with Josh. But what if he says no? What if he comes screaming to get me and causes scars on me like Amora was talking about! “What happened to you and Amora, why has Eros scarred you?” Allana’s head whips round to me her eyes full of shock. “How do you” “I heard Amora taunting you about the past” Allana nods. “When Amora was made, she had a fling with a mortal which angered Eros.” I can tell she’s editing the story to protect me. “Eros told Amora if she continued the love affair he would kill the mortal and banish her to Tartarus.” My body turns to ice. The censoring just stopped.
“Eros would’ve done that?” I ask timidly, tears filling my eyes as I picture Josh dead at the hands of Eros and I banished to below the Underworld to Tartarus. I shake my head madly, desperately trying to get the image to fall from my mind Allana starts to nod, but her eyes glaze over as she falls into some memory I guess she was hoping to keep hidden. “Eros would have done that then. It was decades ago when he was unbelievably angry. He made sure we had physical reminders of his power over us so we’d never forget who we belong to” Allana tells me. “But you don’t need to worry. You haven’t kissed Josh yet, so you haven’t sealed anything! Just stay away from him until I’ve spoken with Eros.” I look up at her horrified. Stay away from him? We’ve only just got together, sort of. Allana’s expression tells me not to argue. “Ok, I’ll stay away from him” “It won’t be for to for long. I’m going to Olympus tonight. I’ll be back in a couple of days and everything will be fixed.” Allana jumps up and starts to run upstairs, presumably to pack. “Acacia, you must stay away from him. I wasn’t thinking straight when I told you to enjoy a relationship with him behind Eros’s back. I was allowing my emotions to rule, and I'm sorry for that. I’d never forgive myself if you came to harm because of me.” She stares down at me from the top step.
“Eros has never wanted me. I really don’t think he’s going to care about any of this.” She smiles slightly at my optimism before disappearing into her room. Amora skulks out of the shadows in the hallway towards me. I start to get up. I’d rather sulk in my room than listen to her irritating voice. “Would you like to know the truth Acacia?” I ignore her. I’ve found that’s the best way to deal with her. “You don’t need to avoid Josh, you know,” she calls after me as I walk up the stairs. That stops me. I don’t want to avoid him, and if she knows a way that I won't have to, then she could be worth listening to. She was right about my giving into my feelings almost leading to my destruction. “Allana’s lying to you,” she states confidently now she has my attention “Why would she do that?” Amora hangs onto the newel post at the base of the stairs and leans back, delighting in my confusion. “Because, my dear clueless love rival,” her voice is almost melodic as she enthrals me into the tale she’s about to spin, “your precious Allana was the one who had the love affair, not me.” She whispers the last two words and sits on the bottom step, satisfied. “Guess I'm not the wicked witch in your life after all.” I'm about to tell her that I don’t believe her, but she’s not finished. “Her lover wasn’t a mortal, either. It was a God, a married God, but then again Josh may not be a mere human either.” Her eyes flicker with each annunciation, she has never looked more demonic.
I reach my hand against the wall to steady myself. “I don’t believe you,” I stammer, but I'm beginning to trust every word she says. “Why would I lie?” She looks at me, challenging me to give her an answer. Before, reasons would have poured freely from my mouth, but now I'm not so sure that her words are false. “You know I have millions of, well, let’s call them encounters with men.” She beams at the memories of them and sighs – I almost throw up. “If Eros cared about affairs don’t you think he would have done something about me by now?” “But why would Allana lie?” “Are you seriously that dense? Allana wants you to carry on believing she’s this perfect role model who’s got the raw end in life because Eros doesn't love her” I stumble up to my room, my head spinning with all that’s going on. I collapse onto my bed and try again to solve the puzzle. So Eros is going to be angry with me because I’ve found my true love and Allana thinks this is because of what he did when he found out about Amora’s love affair? Except it wasn’t Amora, it was Allana, and they both ended up physically punished? But that’s ok because Allana is going to go get his permission for me to date Josh so I won’t suffer the same fate? How does he possess the right to give me permission on who I can date? He banished me, so he doesn’t get to lay some long-overdue claim to me now.
My face is hot from my anger towards Eros and his arrogance that he can rule my life when he isn’t even a part of it. What if Amora’s right, though? I can’t imagine Allana being the one to embark on an affair; she was the only one out of all three of us that was created to love Eros. But if Amora is right, that means I can continue to see Josh without any danger. I like that idea. My mind starts to drift off to thoughts of being with Josh.
Cave of Wonder
~11~
Allana still isn’t back from Olympus. Two days have passed. I have no idea where Amora is either, but then when do I ever know where she is? Things are certainly different in the house. The tension that’s been left behind from their exits acts as a strong reminder that all is not well.
I’ve avoided Josh for the last two days of school to try and keep my word to Allana. When she gets back with my permission to date Josh, I can show him how much he truly means to me. I only need to get through today, and we’re done for the week, and this weekend is a long holiday weekend starting Friday. That gives Allana an extra two days to get back before I have to see Josh again and act like the coldest person in the world to him. I'm so glad this separation is nearly over. I’ve endured torture these past two days. I don’t need sending to the Underworld. The personal hell that’s been created for me here is more horrific than anything they could do to me down there. Every time Josh comes into a room, I’ve been doing my best to look busy so he won’t approach me. I’ve been coming to class late, so he can’t talk to me before and leaving the minute the bell rings so he can’t grab me after. I hate seeing the rejection on his face each time I escape him. Even worse his rejection is slowly turning to annoyance. I just hope his feelings are not too far from anger and then dismissal. I can’t imagine what my behaviour must be doing to him; just thinking about how I must be making him feeling causes that hollowness to return to my body along with the spasms of pain. I climb out of my car as the bell’s about to go, so I know I’ll be late for first period. I’ll be even later because my feet feel heavier than lead. To make matters worse, I haven’t made a match between anyone for nearly a week. I hope Eros doesn’t take my performance into account when he’s deciding whether to let me be with my soul mate or not. Bile rises to the back of my throat as the anger he fires up inside of me wakes up. I hate how I'm allowing him to take hold of my life and steer it into any direction he pleases, but those images of Josh still and lifeless, haunt me and I can’t risk him ending up like that. I reach for the handle of the entrance doo, an arm grabs me around my waist and pulls me into the side of the foyer. Terror takes hold of me. Eros has gone mad and sent someone to get me. The darkness the three walls create starts to clear and I look up into Josh’s eyes. A ball of emo
tion explodes inside of me. A mixture of relief, longing and desire. I’d forgotten how gorgeous he is. “Have you been avoiding me?” he whispers. The heat between us is making me light-headed, but his grip on my waist keeps me upright. “No,” I breathe in response, not caring if he is a demonic merman who can read my mind or if I am supposed to be keeping away from him. I’ve lost all control of my body. I’m entirely at his mercy. Who knew that anyone could have this effect on another person? “You're sure? We’ve barely spoken since the beach, and you’re running off every time I come near you.” He’s still holding me close, and I can see the rejection and annoyance in his eyes. A new burning flares inside me, a burning of hatred for Eros. I swear I’ll make him pay for making me do this to Josh.