by D Wills
“I did reply. I didn’t receive any more messages after that.” I break down into tears again, they probably blocked my phone so I couldn’t receive his messages.
“Don’t worry. I just needed to see you were alright.”He kisses the top of my head lightly and strokes my hair. I was right - Josh holding me in his arms does take all the pain away and gives me strength I didn’t know I had.
“Thank you for coming. I’ve missed you,” I say into his chest, but my words don’t come out clearly as I'm pressing myself further into his body.
“I’ve missed you too,” he responds, holding me tighter. I pull back from him so I can look into his eyes and remind myself why I need to fight against Eros. The moonlight is casting shadows across his face heightening the definition of his features, highlighting how heart-stoppingly attractive he truly is. I run my fingers across his jaw line, stopping when I get to his lips, desperate to feel their warmth on mine. “I really missed you so much, Acacia. I’ve never felt the feelings I do for you before. It’s like you’re not of this world, the effect you have on me.” I hold his gaze wanting to let him know I feel everything just as much as he does and that I’ve never felt anything like this before either. I can’t risk speaking the words for fear that more sobs will erupt, and I don’t want to ruin this moment with tears.
I don’t need to though. My face must tell him all he needs. He presses his lips against mine and all the built-up emotion I’ve had bubbling away inside me spills over as his kiss breaks down all my inhibitions. I don’t even possess the strength to hold myself up. I allow my body to give into him. As he lays me down onto the floor, his body follows mine until he is resting perfectly on top of me. I run my fingers up his back and hold him closer as his lips leave mine and kiss the length of my neck. His hand searches down my waist and finds my hip. He snakes his arm around and pulls me into him. I raise my leg and hitch it over his hip, and his kiss becomes more ferocious as he finds his way back to my mouth. “Wait, wait,” he whispers as I run my own hands down his chest till I reach the waist band of his jeans. “Not here like this when you are so upset.” He pulls my hands from where they’ve latched themselves onto the buckle of his belt and holds them to his mouth, kissing the backs of them gently. “I was only upset because I hadn’t seen you. I thought you’d given up on me.” He sits down at my side, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and turning me towards him, so my head rests on his chest. “I’ve only just got you. I'm not about to give up on you now” And I can’t give up on him. Maybe after the dance tomorrow we could just take off together. I can sneak out of here and meet him there. We can get in his car and drive where no one knows us and no one is trying to split us up, kill us or banish either one of us to the Underworld. I could tell him everything, and he’d understand. He’s already promised he’d never let anything happen to me. I know he wouldn’t break that promise, and we could be happy together.
“So why haven’t you been in school?” he breaks into our silence. I look up at him unsure how to answer. “Things are complicated” “Ah, are you going to be in school tomorrow?” I bite my lip and shake my head, too scared to open my mouth in case I betray any of my secrets. “So we won’t be going to the dance together, then?” The way he says those words makes it sound more like a statement than a question. “No, we are if you still want me to that is” “Do you even need to ask that question?” He smiles down at me. “I want you to go to the dance with me, I want you to come to school with me, in fact, I want to spend every moment there is with you.” I brush away the hair that has fallen over my face so I can look at him clearly, he returns my gaze, but his eyes fall onto my neck. “What happened?” He sits us both up and scrapes all my hair from my neck as he takes in the reminder that Eros is still very much a threat to us. “Acacia what happened?” he asks again, the urgency rushing through in his words. I watch as his eyes turn hard as he examines the strips of crimson staining my neck. “I can’t talk about it.” I can’t look at him whilst I knowingly keep another secret back from him. I await his anger but instead he threads his arms around my chest and pulls me closer to him. “Why do I feel if I let you go now I’ll never hold you again?” he breathes softly. I turn my face into his shoulder to silence the fresh new wave of tears that pours from my eyes. He strokes my hair, and we sit silently. He has no more questions to ask, and I’ve never had any answers to give. Our breathing falls into a rhythm, and our hearts beat in sync. I lay against him as we both watch the stars twinkling above and I'm only vaguely aware that Allana or Amora could return at any second and I’d be well and truly busted. Josh, though, must feel the risk too as he starts to move against me. I push myself off of him, giving him room to move, but his hands grip onto the back of my vest so I can’t move too far from him. “I really don’t want to leave, Acacia. I know you can’t tell me where you got those marks from, but I can stay if it would make you feel better. I know I’d sleep easier if I had you in my arms keeping you safe.” I chew on my lip as his hands stroke each of the marks on my neck. His face becomes harder, and I can see the fire burning in his eyes, but his touch remains gentle and soothing. “If they found you here the situation would become a hundred times worse.” I place my hand over his and press my cheek against it. He flips his palm, so he is holding my face. “These marks, are they because of me?” I shake my head; they’re not because of him, they’re because I was too selfish to stay away from him. “No, they’re not. My family has a complicated history with relationships and, well, I'm not making things any better.” “I swear whoever has done this to you will pay. I can see you’re afraid of them. That’s who you thought was climbing up to your balcony, wasn’t it? Well I'm not leaving, not if they can get to you here.” I graze my finger tips across his cheek.
“Josh there’s nothing you can do. I really wish you could stay here with me, but you need to leave. I’ll be back with you tomorrow night, and if you’ll have me, I’ll stay with you forever. I don’t ever have to come back here.” His face lights up. “Nothing could make me happier than knowing you will be mine forever. I’ll go now if that will make things easier for you, but you call me if you need me for anything, whatever time it is, I don’t care.” I nod and smile, my heart alight with the thought of our future. “I'm guessing you’re not going to want me to come fetch you from here tomorrow, though.” He nods towards the house. I hadn’t thought of that. How am I going to get out? “No, I'll sneak out,” I say more to myself than him. I assess the outside of my house, trying to figure out how Josh climbed up here, wonder if I can use the same way to get down? Probably not going to be that easy in a ball gown! “You want me to pick you up from the café round the corner about seven?” That should work. “Yes.” My cheeks begin to ache from the size of my smile. Everything is perfect, more than perfect, but I know the minute Josh leaves it’s all going to be dreadful again. Josh grins at me and pulls me against his body. All too soon he whispers, “I should go.” “I know.” But neither of us moves. It’s going to be less than twenty-four hours till I see him again, but it feels as if this is goodbye. If everything goes to plan, this will be our last night apart. At this moment, it feels like our last night together.
Josh takes hold of each of my hands, and we stand up together. I rest my hands on his hips as he cups my chin with his fingers to tilt my face upwards, so I’m looking into his eyes. “Good night, though parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say good night till it be morrow,” he whispers, and his lips press against mine so lightly. I close my eyes wishing this would never end. My lips suddenly become cold. I open my eyes, and Josh has gone. I rush to the edge of the balcony and look down onto the garden, but he’s nowhere to be seen. I touch my lips, yearning for them, to still be warm from his kiss, just like I wish my body was still protected by his. I go back into my room and lock the doors. It’s late, and I should sleep. I’d like to be able to sleep until seven o'clock tomorrow night when I can be back with him. Instead, I’ve got a whole stretch of nothingness in front of
me.
Dance till you’re Dead
~16~
It’s the morning of the ball, the first morning of my new life with Josh. Tonight when I go to sleep, it will be with him. Heat rises to my cheeks, staining them a deep crimson when I picture what little sleep we’ll hopefully be getting. I’ve never felt this giddy and excited! I'm going to have to curb it somehow, or Allana and Amora are going to suspect something and I’ll never be able to sneak out. I’ve got ten hours ahead of me until I get to be with him, these are going to be the longest ten hours ever! I have nothing to get up for; I lie back down and bury myself in my quilt. It’s silent finally giving me the quiet I need. Closing my eyes, pictures of me in my gown with Josh in his tuxedo dancing, swim happily in my head. “Acacia.” My bubble pops. It’s Allana. She’s turned into an over-protective big sister / super mum / prison guard since she told me that she thought it would best if I stayed home for a while. “Acacia.” I suppose I better go down and answer her before she sends a search party to check I haven’t escaped. “Acacia, there you are. Didn’t you hear me shouting?” Allana is standing at the bottom of the stairs. She looks gorgeous today; she must be going somewhere special. Her figure is fully defined with a purple body-hugging maxi dress, and her hair is a mixture of waves and straights. “Where are you going?” I ask her, puzzled at this new look. “Coffee Park I’m playing struggling writer today. It’s Friday. Everyone’s in a good mood for the weekend, and coffee shops are always busier on a Friday because people don’t go there over the weekends.” She pretty much spits her answer in one mouthful she’s talking so fast. I don’t believe for a second that’s where she’s going because she regularly goes to the Coffee Park to make matches and she never dresses like this and she never feels the need to explain to me where she’s going or why. Allana knows I don’t believe her, but she doesn’t try to offer any further reason. “Anyway, I’ve got to get going. You going to be ok here by yourself while I’m gone?” She’s already reaching for her coat, so whether I say yes or no she’s still going.
“Of course I will be. The demons of the hell could come drag me away whether you’re here or not, right?” I meant it jokingly but the dark expression which covers Allana’s face tells me that it’s not something to be kidding about. “Yes I’ll be fine” I quickly backtrack. I walk off towards the kitchen as Allana’s phone rings. I’m in the kitchen out of sight, and Allana presumably thinks out of earshot. She must not know I can now hear older Gods from any distance because she answers it. “Yes … I know …. I’m on my way … no she’s safe …. for now.” I hear the door slam, and she’s gone. So she is going to meet someone. Maybe she’s trying to sort out some protection for me, for us. Amora’s not in. She’s not been in for a while it seems, but her car is still in the drive. Maybe Allana has had her removed for her total bitchiness. That would be awesome. I should make some breakfast, anything to kill time. How am I going to get through ten hours? Most girls would love this, all day free to prepare themselves for their first big date, but I don’t really know where to start. I make and finish my pancakes and the last of my orange juice in record time. I look around the kitchen slowly. Despite being Gods we don’t live in a very impressive house. The kitchen is painted a rather ugly green colour with a white marble worktop and light ash cupboards. The windows are framed with a darker shade of putrid green and there are a few plants resting on the windowsill from Allana’s dismal attempts at gardening. It’s not the nicest of houses, but it is mine, and after tonight I might never see it again. A lump comes to my throat and tears prick my eyes. Maybe I shouldn’t sneak out. I'm risking everything doing it. Maybe Josh isn’t worth all this. Is he really worth never seeing Allana again and breaking her heart when I get sent to Tartarus? I still haven’t figured out what to tell Josh when I turn up to go to a dance with him, and tell him some paranormal guards and a raging love God are on their way to torture him and kidnap me. Not quite the pillow talk I had in mind. I clear my dishes away and head back upstairs, mentally planning the order in which I’m going to get myself ready, deliberately leaving ‘Figure out a way to tell Josh’ to the very end. First I think it should definitely be a bath. I head straight to the bathroom and turn both taps to full. Finding my vanilla-scented candles from the cupboard, I light a few of them around the room and pour in some oils and salts. As I climb in, the water soothes every part of me, slowly softening each of my muscles so I can’t even force myself to feel as worked up as I did twenty minutes ago when I was feeling torn from the decisions I needed to make. The water weaves it's way around every one of my curves. It’s been so long since I’ve felt the comforting feel that only being submerged can provide. The merfolk made sure of that. The water creeps around my neck and pushes its way through my hair. I dip down into the bath, allowing the water to close in over me, so my entire body is drenched in its warmth. The bath is close to overflowing. I quickly twist my leg, so my toes are in between the grooves on the tap and turn both of them off. A peaceful calm falls over the house as I'm alone with my thoughts, and all I can picture in my mind is Josh, our embrace last night, our kiss last night and the promise of tonight.
“Acacia.”
What was that? I’m sure I just heard someone whisper my name, but there’s no one here, is there? My imagination must be running a little wild with the anticipation of tonight, or maybe it’s reliving the last time I allowed myself to relax in the water.
“Acacia.”
There, it is again, and I can hear someone laughing. I sit bolt upright in the bath, throwing some of the water over the edges. I wait for it again. All over me my hairs begin to stand on end something, which only happens through fear, have they already come for me? Is this Eros? Are they the demons taunting me with their whispers and giggles?
It’s still quiet. I think I’m working myself up. Maybe I'm more scared than I thought at what Eros could do to me, but there’s no one here. I’m safe, I’m sure of it.
I lay back down in the bath and welcome the water once again, but it doesn’t work the same magic as it did before. I close my eyes, willing my body to relax and look forward to my future with Josh.
The door to the bathroom flies open. “It's time,” a voice booms. I grip the sides of the bath and scream.
“What the hell are you yelling about?” Amora’s voice comes up the stairs. I stop screaming. The bathroom door is still wide open, but there’s no one there. I climb out of the bath shaking as I hear Amora’s footsteps pounding the stairs. I know she could have brought someone with her to take me away. Maybe she was staking the house out with them, waiting for Allana to leave and then she would let them in. I wait in the doorway of the bathroom for whatever is about to begin.
“What’s going on?” Amora emerges at the top of the stairs dressed in the skinniest jeans I think I’ve ever seen. They look practically sprayed on, and her platform heels make her tower over me. She looks even more intimidating than ever.
“Nothing” I mutter at her as I tie my dressing gown around me and see she is by herself and hasn’t led the hunting party to the fox.
Amora doesn’t even bother to reply. She just shakes her head, tuts and walks off to her room, probably to get some sleep. She might be a God, but she still looks like she hasn’t slept in days.
I practically run back to my room and slam my door shut. My heart is pounding in my chest. I'm starting to freak out. The voices, the laughing, the fact that Amora hasn’t been here in days but comes back today, the day I’m planning to sneak out. Perhaps that’s just a coincidence but who is Allana going to meet? A strange feeling that something big is coming starts to bubble inside of me. I’m sure Allana and Amora are preparing for it, but neither is telling me to do the same. I'm also pretty sure they’re both hoping for different outcomes.
I take a deep breath in to steady my nerves. I need to do this; I need to live my life the way I want to. In the end, it’s only going to be me and Josh, and I need to think of that and not of the questions that don’t ne
ed answering. I just need to escape.
I throw myself into getting ready. I paint my nails and moisturize my body. I even take a good hour to do my make-up, something I usually get done in less than ten minutes.
I catch myself in the mirror on my dressing table. It has three mirrors all together so I can see every side of me. Out of the corner of my left eye I see the part of me desperate to run away with Josh, to feel loved and to be happy but on the right I see what other people will see, the selfish girl who has been given a second chance and given everything to make it work, but is willing to turn her back on it, all for a boy. In the centre mirror, I see both sides together. My mask of make-up can’t hide the conflict. It shines through clear in my eyes.
A single tear escapes my eye and splashes onto the dressing table. I stare at it as others fall landing beside it. I hadn’t even realized I’d been crying. I shouldn’t cry. I was put here to give people the gift of love, and if I wasn’t meant to experience that myself, I wouldn’t have met Josh.
My head laughs at me. It may as well scream, ‘Tell yourself that all you want. It’s not going to make any difference.’ I sigh, defeated. There’s no hope of soothing the war inside of me, but I'm not going down without a fight.
I rush to the bathroom and scrub my face clean. My make-up is ruined from the tears. I'd better start again.