by D Wills
It's a tsunami that hits me all at once - the grief of Josh, the horror of being here and the confusion surrounding just about everything. There’s no use fighting the weight of these feelings. I let them crush me to the floor, and the tears pour out as I wrap my arms around myself and sob.
Saviour
~21~
I allow myself to cry until there are no tears left to fall until my throat becomes hoarse from the anguish that pours from it, and until my body aches from the convulsing my crying brought with it. Luca is still gone, and I'm staring out onto the fields, wondering what time of day it is. The sky doesn’t change colour here as it does in the mortal world. I'm in limbo in more ways than one. I can feel a tear in my heart pulsing fresh pain into my soul when I picture Josh in the car dying. Each pulse creates a fresh bolt of pain through my entire body which makes me want to be sick. I keep searching the fields in vain, imagining seeing him there. But in his short life, could he have actually done anything that would keep him from Elysium? Maybe I could bargain with Hades to let me see him, but to do that I'm going to need to lie and make him think I can give him what he wants. Even if, I could make Persephone fall in love with him, I'm not sure I would allow it to happen, not if it would start a war. But I don’t see why it would anyway. Persephone is already married to Hades, so if she loved him, it would probably make them both a lot happier. Maybe I could tell Hades the truth - that I can’t make Gods fall in love, but one day I’ll be able to. Then perhaps I could live here with Josh’s spirit in return for one day joining Hades and Persephone in love. The thought of seeing Josh again eases my torment. I don’t worry how long it will last, I just close my eyes and enjoy the brief period of relief. With my body temporarily numb from the ache of losing Josh, a new type of pain emerges, Allana. I don’t think she’ll be on her way to try and rescue me. She loves Eros, so as much as it may hurt her, I think she’d stick by his decision of sending me here. I bet Amora is pleased with herself. I'm actually surprised she didn’t insist on escorting me here herself to make sure Hades locks me away for good. Good job she didn’t though or I might not have got the deal I’ve ended up with. “You look deep in thought.” My heart jumps a little at the sound of Luca’s voice, then the part of it torn away for Josh burns, reminding me what Luca is responsible for. The door springs open. “I brought you some elixir.” The smell of it reaches me, and although my body is like a desert, I don’t want it. It’s probably got more of that Emexion drug in it anyway. Luca sighs and places it on the bone bench and sits down next to it. “You ok?” I stare at him almost open-mouthed. It feels like the hundredth time he’s asked me that. Surely he should know that I couldn’t possibly be ok when I'm trapped in the Underworld. “I'm sorry about that guy,” he finally says when my silence doesn’t waiver. I ball my hands into fists, livid from his arrogance making him think he has the right to talk about Josh. “I was only following orders to collect you,” Luca continues, opening his hands and looking at the floor. “If he hadn’t tried to play the hero, he wouldn’t have got hurt.” So it’s Josh’s fault now! My blood begins to rush to my cheeks as I get angrier at him for trying to blame Josh for getting himself killed. “Well, actually, if you’d just come with us from that party instead of trying to escape with him, his ending would’ve been different.” I jump to my feet and lunge for him, my heart full of a poisonous hatred that has amassed from all my fury that has been building up around Josh being killed. Luca’s too quick, though. He has been expecting my attack and grabs my hands as they fly for his neck, wrapping his fingers tightly around my wrists and keeping me from him as I try frantically to hit him, to make him feel the pain I'm feeling. But I can’t get near him. I scream in frustration. “Acacia, calm down.” His words are like gasoline to my burning fire of hatred, and I try to lunge at him again. This time he releases my wrists, so I fly into him as he stays put. My body crashes against his. With my arms now free, I pound my fists against him and scratch my nails against his face and neck, any part of him I can reach, but rather than fighting back he just holds me against his chest while I beat my frustration out on him. I unclench my fists and lay my hands flat against his body as I begin to give up when I see my efforts are leaving a mark. “You finished?” he asks mockingly. I look up to him and hit him straight across his face. I instantly regret it when his head snaps round to the right with a sickening crack. I’m about to apologize, but as he turns his face back towards mine he doesn’t look angry. “I might have deserved that.” He nod while looking over my shoulder. “Someone’s coming.” He grips the tops of my arms firmly and marches me to the back of the room. “Don’t move and don’t speak,” he instructs me. I agree, too frightened not to as he takes off out of the dungeon and leans against the wall opposite my prison. He begins to fix his eyes on me with such intensity I feel wounds should be appearing from where his stare is cutting into me. I hear footsteps stomping up the stairs and haggard breathing. I look to where the staircase is. Luca clears his throat, bringing my attention back to him. “Look at me,” he mouths. “There you are,” the voice says as it approaches the top step.
“Where else would I be?” Luca replies flatly, not taking his eyes from me. “Well, yeh, Hades sent me to make sure she was behaving.” Whoever this person is, he walks over to Luca and leans against the wall next to him. “You not doing your usual routine?” he laughs, jabbing Luca in the arm. “She’s a God - the usual wouldn’t work” Luca keeps it monotone, not giving anything away. I see the look of confusion on the man’s face. “What ya doing then?” He asks, looking between Luca’s eyes and mine. “Practising mental torture” He breaks his eyes from mine and instinct tells me to look to the ground. “Best way to get to this kind. Get inside their heads and really screw them around.” He laughs gruffly, and the man joins in. “Let me try,” he jeers. Luca locks eyes with me again, and I know he can hear my heartbeat accelerate. The other man lines himself up in front of me, and cracks his knuckles and his neck, gearing himself up for the onslaught. I want to curl myself up and hide from his stare, but he’d just walk in and grab me. The new man closes his eyes, and I just know when he opens them the pain is going to come shooting towards me. Before he does, though, a veil appears in front of me. Luca and the animal are behind it, they appear wavy as if there’s heat in front of them. Is this the attack and I’m gifted with some sort of natural defence from it? The veil starts to get hit like rain drops attacking a puddle, but it doesn’t allow the missiles through; instead it absorbs them. “Guess my powers aren’t quite there,” the man grunts. “Call me if you need anything. I'm only two flights down.” With that, he takes off back down the stairs. I move to talk, but Luca silences me with his hand. He keeps focused on the stairs and after a few minutes turns to me. “He’s gone. Are you ok?” He rushes over to me, but he looks like he’s unsure whether to hold me or not. I make the decision for him and close the distance between us as I wrap my arms around his waist, not caring at that moment what he was responsible for. I am only grateful for what he’s just done. “What was that?” I ask as he moves his arms around my back and presses my body further into his. “We are told to practice mind control, and mental persecution for if, well, when the war begins. I’ve been practising it for decades, as had that demon. Luckily, though, he can’t detect shields, which thankfully I was given the ability to make, otherwise what he just threw at you could’ve torn you to pieces and there would be no recovering from it” he holds me tighter as he says the last few words. I pull myself away from him, but he keeps his hands at my hips. “What’s happening?” I beg him to explain, but he looks as unsure as I do. “I don’t know,” he breathes, and I don’t either. I don’t know why Luca feels the need to protect me and I don’t know why I want him to. I close my eyes and bury my head into his chest which is as smooth and hard as a slab of granite, but still, in this desolate place, provides me all the comfort I could hope for. As we stand in our embrace I'm sure I feel his lips graze my forehead, but I don’t open my eyes to see. A p
art of me tells me this is wrong that he killed Josh, but he has also saved my life on more than one occasion.
Truth, Honesty and Murder
~22~
I guess I fell asleep in Luca’s arms because it’s the last thing I remember. It’s now dark, and I'm laid on the floor of my prison with the throw from the bone bench draped across me. The door to my cell has been left open, but I can’t see Luca anywhere. The screams from the lower floors are gone. I guess everyone gets a rest sometimes, but there’s a red light flashing against my window, casting shapes onto my ceiling. I almost laugh at how I use the word ‘my’, like I’ve willingly accepted that this is my new home, and I’ve laid claim to all parts of it.
I slowly climb to my feet and look out of my narrow window. The sky out there is now a rich purple colour with a dozen moons interspaced across it, all casting beams down onto the fields. I follow one of the tunnels of light to the spotlight it is creating on the lifeless meadow. My breath stops in my throat when I take in the scene before me. There is a circle of guards standing with their arms folded around a cowering person who is being circled from above by the Furies. They are mercilessly striking the victim with the flashes of red light, but this is no ordinary light. Each strike is causing their prey to spasm in pain, their screams feeding the Furies pleasure sending them into hysterics. The guards around all cheer for them to continue. I can’t bear to watch. This scene brings me crashing back into the real world and I know whatever fantasy I’ve created up in this turret is just that, and I need to get out of here. I run to the opening of my cell and head for the spiral staircase. I don’t make it more than one step when I hear voices getting louder, and I see the flames from a torch moving up the stairs. Quickly I rush back to my cell, searching for somewhere to hide, but there isn’t anywhere. What was it Luca told me to do if anyone came? I curl up on the floor and grab the throw, pulling it back around me, pretending to be asleep. But with the prison door open, there’s nothing to stop them getting in. Where is Luca? Why has he left me open like this? “Luca, put her at the top,” I hear one of the voices on the stairs. “Better be worth it, then. We can’t all fly where we want to like him,” the other voice moans. “No one asked you to come. I’d be there by now, you know. Wolves have four legs I could be up there in seconds”. A werewolf! It takes every last bit of strength I’ve got to keep me from trembling. “If I didn’t come, how exactly were you planning on getting to taste her blood? Exactly, not thought it through, had you? You need me here so I can freeze her for you,” the other guy scornfully replies. “If you can, that is. Vice tried a mental attack earlier and couldn’t touch her,” the werewolf retorts. I wish Luca had left me some Emexion. At least then I wouldn’t be a witness to my own death. Up until a few hours ago I didn’t think it was possible, but now, thanks to Luca, I know this race can destroy me and he’s here for my blood. I squeeze my eyes shut as tightly as they’ll go when the footsteps and voices stop. From the sound of their heavy breathing, I know they’re at the entrance to my cell. “Looks like Luca forgot to lock it. Didn’t think it was going to be this easy,” one of them laughs as he shakes the gate. “Go on, then,” the other one hisses. They begin to approach me. I open my eyes slightly and can see their feet. Both of them are barefooted. Their skin is almost translucent, and they are virtually nothing but bone. I shut my eyes again, not wanting to be a witness to this as an ice cold shroud takes over me and I can no longer move. I'm frozen in place, and I can’t fight when something grabs at my arm, the werewolf I presume, getting ready to take my blood. I brace myself for the pain, when as quickly as it appeared, the veil of ice is gone. I hear a menacing growl from across the room. I open my eyes. The werewolf and another creature, probably a demon, have their backs to me. Casting a long shadow into the cell is Luca. He came back! I thought the growl was coming from the werewolf, but it’s from Luca. He’s flexing his hands. “Luca, we’re sorry. We just wanted to … ” They don’t get to finish. Luca runs straight to grab each one by his neck and throws them against the wall. There’s a crunching sound as their bones are smashed against the stone. He walks over to where their bodies lay limp and rips their limbs from their torsos with ease. The sound of their bodies being torn apart is too much. I cover my ears and try to bury myself into the wall. When the noise stops, I look around the room. Luca has his back to me, standing in the entrance to the cell. In front of him is a small bonfire that has almost burnt to a pile of ash. When the burning stops, Luca is by my side. He doesn’t hesitate in touching me now. He reaches his hands behind my neck and holds my face up to his. “I'm sorry. Are you hurt?” He searches my face. “No, he grabbed my arm but … ” Luca doesn’t wait for me to explain. He holds both my arms out. The right one has been sliced open from my wrist to my elbow and is pouring with blood. I gasp at the sight of it. How did I not feel that? Luca quickly uses the throw to wipe off the blood and plants the softest of kisses all the way along the wound. As his lips leave, my skin heals instantly. “Isn’t that torture for you?” I ask him, remembering he is a vampire, and from what I know vampires drink blood. “It should be,” he sighs, and he reaches his arms back around my waist, pulling me into him, so I'm cradled in his arms. “Given how I'm starting to feel about you and the fact that I was made to destroy you, I'm sure your blood should be the blood I desire the most, and I do want it, but some part of me wants you alive more.” I tilt my head, so my eyes are level with his. There’s a sadness about him. “Thank you.” He closes his eyes, not accepting my gratitude. “You don’t need to thank me. Had I locked the gate, it wouldn’t have happened”. I don’t respond to that. I don’t want to blame him for anything else. He saved me, that’s all I care about. I already have enough to blame him for and the part of my heart that has been throbbing in pain flares up angrily at my betrayal. “Why didn’t they create a shield for themselves like you did for me that time?” My stomach twists with gratitude from the memory of how he saved me, again. “They don’t have the ability. I'm one of the few that can create shields. Hades only allows those he wouldn’t want to die the skill of shields. Those two were just going to be pawns in the war. They’re easily disposable.” “And you’re not?” I nod, grateful at the fact, even though it means he is probably the deadliest creature in this land. “No, I'm the best Hades has, which is why I am the leader of the army.” Luca glances over to the window where just below it his men will be running their drills, marching as they have been instructed to. We sit silent for a few minutes and Luca exhales loudly. “If the price of love is death, would you pay it?” he breathes, not looking at me. “I think I already did.” I look up at him and see his expression is twisted in pain. I move my fingers through his hair, down to his jaw line, my mind swims with the sudden want to comfort him to take away the tortured look masking his face. I leave my fingers against his jaw, waiting for him to open his eyes and explain what he’s trying to say. “I'm getting closer, Acacia, closer to something I'm afraid to admit.” His head rolls, so he’s staring at me, but he makes no effort to remove my touch from him. His eyes are now fully grey, not a hint of red to them at all. “Your eyes, they’re different.” I trace along his cheek with my fingertips. The touch of his skin against mine ignites my entire body, but with the pleasure he brings there’s an equal amount of pain. The part of my heart that beat for Josh bursts into flames, but it starts to die out as Luca’s hands stroke my back, neck and lips. All I'm left with is a pound of lead in my chest, a constant reminder of my love that was.
“They’re only red when I need to feed,” Luca explains softly. “Is that why you left me?” He shakes his head. “Hades needed me. I was summoned before I had time to secure the cell. I'm so sorry I left you like that” His face falls, and I again feel the need to take his anguish away. “Hades clicks his fingers, and you come running?” I instantly regret uttering those words as I see Luca’s face cloud over with what looks like disappointment. “I'm the head of his army. I have to go to him if he calls.” My cheeks burn with embarrass
ment at my stupidity for not understanding the position Luca’s putting himself in for me. “Who were they?” I nod towards the pile of ash as Luca’s arms tighten around me. “Two rogues from the race. They broke out of their shackles from where they were being held. They were due to be executed tomorrow, but they heard there was a God being held here. They thought if they drank your blood it would give them some sort of unbeatable strength.” Luca sounds angry at the memory of them. “Would it have worked, if they had taken my blood?” I was seconds from death, and I honestly do owe Luca my life. “It might have done, but it doesn’t matter now. They’re gone, and no one else here would be stupid enough to try it,” he assures me. “What about you?” I pull myself away from him slightly so I can read his expression. “I don’t need your blood.” His voice becomes grave. “That’s not what I asked.” He springs to his feet. I can hear his teeth grinding. I’ve crossed the line, and now he’s snapped. “Do you even have to ask? I just saved your life, and not for the first time. If I wanted your blood, I would have drained you before when your arm was an open buffet!” He becomes more incensed as he walks the length of the room. “I'm risking everything protecting you. If Hades found out, he’d tear me limb from limb and you, you …” I climb quickly to my feet and walk over to where he’s pacing. “I'm sorry, I didn’t mean -” He stops walking abruptly, and his face is angrier than I’ve ever seen it. He starts towards me. “You’ve done this! How could I have been so blind? Hades brought you here to get Persephone to love him, and that’s what you’ve done to me, you’ve made me love you.” He grabs hold of my arms roughly, his fingers squeeze into my skin, and I'm sure they’re going to pierce it. “I haven’t,” I plead with him, but he’s set on the idea “Of course you have. Why the hell would I want you otherwise? Why would I have this urge inside of me to be with you that scolds me worse than any need to feed I’ve ever had? You selfish … ” He squeezes my arms tighter, sending rivers of pain down each one. “I haven’t because I can’t,” I cry, breaking his rant. He releases my arms, and I fall to the ground. He stares at me, his face no longer angry. His mouth falls slightly ajar as his face loses all emotion. I quickly scramble to my feet and push him with all my strength. He isn’t concentrating because he stumbles backwards a few steps. “You think I want to feel this for you?” I yell at him, pushing him again. “You killed Josh, the reason I'm here, the reason I gave up on everything - and you killed him. Do you really think I want to want you that I want this desire inside of me to be with you? It disgusts me. I hate myself for wanting the … the ... thing that killed the man I love.” I stand there out of breath. Luca is staring at the ground, standing a few footsteps from me. I mentally prepare myself for the onslaught - verbal, mental or physical - he’s about to give back to me. I'm thrown back against the wall with such force I'm sure there is a me-shaped imprint left behind. Luca’s body presses against mine as his hands reach urgently around my waist, pulling me into him. His lips press ferociously against mine. My body reacts willingly, ignoring the searing pain in my heart from the memory of Josh. I reach my hands around his neck, holding him against me. One of his arms slides down my thigh and cups beneath my knee pulling my leg up around him. I wrap my other leg around his waist as his lips leave mine and kiss further down my neck to my bare shoulders. I arch my back as he turns and lowers me onto the throw on the ground. I wouldn't have believed there is a feeling more pleasurable than the euphoria I felt every time Josh melted me into a fiery river of lava using his touch, but Luca causes orgasmic eruptions at each of my erogenous zones. All of them explode, begging him to recognize them and to move his touch to them. His lips find their way back to mine, and I welcome them eagerly. “Stop,” he breathes but I'm too caught up to listen. He tries to pull away, but I hold him against me. He doesn’t put up much resistance. Instead his fingers graze my sides, and I feel my dress rip at the seams. I bring my hands around to his chest and tear at the buttons on his shirt so I can run my hands freely along the powerful planes of his sculpted abs. His skin is cold and I feel his cold fingers moving softly against my back. “Acacia, wait,” he murmurs again and his kisses become lighter against my skin. His hands no longer search every inch of my body. Instead, he rolls onto his side, propping himself up on one arm. “What’s wrong?” I ask him desperately, wishing he’d take me back into his arms. “Not here, not like this.” I’ve heard those words before, and I start to feel sick at what I’ve done. He reaches over to me and gives me one more kiss. It’s not a leading kiss, though. It’s a firm, strong, that’s-it-for-now kiss.