by Trina M. Lee
My mouth was dry. I needed some water. Unable to put my need into words, I tried to get up. The world turned. The room shifted suddenly, and like a dropped camera, I was looking at everything from the wrong angle.
Deep inside me, where a sober thought still dwelled, I knew this was wrong. I knew I needed to fight, but that coherent certainty couldn’t surface from the depths. Hazy and out of focus, each slow blink made my vision darken a bit more until there was only black.
Chapter Eight
I blacked out. Not the unconscious, snoring, passed out kind of black out, but the still functioning with no idea what the hell was going on kind of black out. The dangerous kind.
Everything was a blur, a jumble of random images and sensations that made no sense: Rowen slumped against the wall. The overpowering stench of whiskey. Someone whispering in my ear.
The scent of cologne filled my nostrils at one point. The heat of a mouth on mine followed. It was all very disorienting. I knew I didn’t want my first kiss with Rowen to be like this. It was all wrong. When I felt the smooth touch of a steel tongue stud against my bottom lip, I panicked.
These things came rushing back to me when I woke up several hours later.
Worst. Hangover. Ever.
My head felt heavy, and when I felt a pillow beneath my cheek, I was afraid to open my eyes. Then I was afraid not to.
Shame slithered through me before I had even assessed the situation. I was in a bed, that much was clear. Beside me I felt the weight and warmth of another person. It had been a long time since I’d woken up beside someone with no recollection of the previous night. It wasn’t something I made a habit of. As far as one night stands go, I’d only had one, and I had hoped to keep it that way.
My pulse pounded as I lifted my head and prepared to face my poor choices. The sheets slid against my skin. I was dressed in only my bra and underwear. Still, that was promising.
Holding my breath, I turned to my companion, and my heart sank. Arrow was passed out beside me. Arm flung up over his face, sheets bunched around his waist, he slumbered. He was very obviously naked, and I swallowed hard at the sight of what the sheets barely hid.
“This can’t be happening,” I whispered. Unable to look away, I stared at him.
The collage of skulls, roses, and winged creatures tattooed on his arms was not the end of his ink. Song lyrics were written on his side in script. Low on his hip sat a raven, it’s wings spread as if about to take flight. He was well built for his frame. Not bulky but hard in all the right places.
I realized I was gawking at him and suddenly worried that he would feel it and wake up. Casting a frantic glance about the room, I spied my clothes on the floor near the door. Now if I could just get to them without waking Arrow… I slid off the bed, slowly, inch by inch. Only when I was on my feet did I breathe again.
My head spun, and I needed a moment to get my balance. Each step I took was carefully calculated. I kept glancing back at Arrow, afraid to take my eyes off him. I could puzzle out what the hell happened later. I just needed to get out of there.
I bent to pick my clothes up. Sliding my skirt up my legs, I heard motion in the bed behind me and froze.
With his voice husky with sleep, Arrow asked, “Leaving already?” I turned to find him lying there facing me, his head propped up on one hand. Hair disheveled and cocky grin in place, he raised an inquisitive brow.
Confused and horrified, I stammered my reply. “I did not—We didn’t—Don’t even try to tell me that we—?”
“Fucked? No. We didn’t. You passed out. But you wanted it.”
I shook my head in disbelief, and the simple action sent a jolt of pain slamming through my skull. “Bullshit. You drugged me. There’s no way I would willingly get into bed with you otherwise.”
“I’m sure you really want to believe that.” As I hurriedly finished dressing, he watched me with the intensity of a predator about to pounce.
“I knew you were dark, but I didn’t think you were such a pig.” I searched the room until I found my purse, then double-checked that my things were still safely inside.
“That’s right,” he said, sitting up in the bed. “I’m dark. Which means I’m committed to my agenda. I’ll do whatever it takes to fulfill that commitment.” He reached out, caught hold of my arm, and dragged me onto the bed beside him.
I shoved him away with both hands on his warm, firm chest and jumped off the bed before he could grab for me again. “Keep your hands off me, Arrow. I can only imagine what kind of sick shit you did to me last night.”
He regarded me from his place in the bed, an evil light in his hazel eyes. “I told you. Nothing happened. We made out a little. That’s about it. It’s not too late to change that though.” When I continued to stare at him with contempt, he shrugged and added, “Seriously. I’m not a rapist. Besides, you have to be willing. You’re nephilim. I can’t take you against your will. Not without punishment.”
I had no way of knowing if that was true, but I didn’t get the feeling that he was lying. “Yeah? Well, good. I am very much not willing.”
My hand was on the doorknob when his next words froze me in my tracks. “Sure. But it doesn’t look that way in this photo I took. A photo that might accidentally get sent to Rowen.” Arrow waved his phone around, jerking it back out of my grasp when I reached for it. He held it close enough for me to see the picture he’d taken of me asleep in his bed in my underwear.
It was bad. Just one look gave the impression that more had gone on in that bed between us than what actually had. If Rowen saw it, he would believe I’d screwed his best friend.
“Why did you take that?” I asked, trying to act like it didn’t bother me. “What are you trying to achieve?”
“At the moment, I’m trying to achieve some blackmail.” Arrow tucked the phone under his pillow. “Stay away from Rowen, and I won’t show it to him.”
I was flabbergasted. “Why do you care if I’m interested in Rowen? Don’t tell me this is about who fucks a nephilim first.”
Arrow rolled his eyes and gave me a look that implied I was an idiot. “As much as I’d enjoy tapping that fine, angelic ass of yours, this is about something bigger. I have a job to do. Right now it includes keeping you away from Rowen.”
“Why?” Between Cinder and Arrow, I was getting fed up with people trying to stop me from getting closer to Rowen. I barely knew him, but I wanted to. Why was that so wrong?
“That’s for me to know. Unless you want to tell me everything you already know about him?” Brow raised, Arrow leaned back against the headboard and crossed his arms. There was no telling what he was capable of. Though he looked like any other rock n’ roller in the scene, he likely had skills that reached into another world, skills far greater than my undecided abilities.
Either Arrow knew everything I knew about Rowen, or he was trying to trick me into spilling something. He’d already made enough of an idiot out of me. I wasn’t telling him shit.
“What’s there to know?” I cringed at the sound of my phone, a shrill blast of electric guitars that disturbed the relative quiet. Silencing it with a finger, I kept my gaze on Arrow, studying him for a sign that he knew Rowen was nephilim.
Arrow’s expression was a neutral mask, revealing nothing. “Here’s what I do know about Rowen. He would never get involved with a chick who got so loaded at a party that she went to bed with his buddy.”
The blood drained from my face. My head pounded, but whether from the hangover or from sudden rage, I didn’t know. Raw hatred had me seeing red. My palms tingled, the sensation creeping up my arms.
He taunted, “What are you gonna do, Spike? Light a candle? I’ve got years of experience on you, and you’re still undecided. Don’t embarrass yourself.”
The pressure inside my head increased. I wanted to kill him. He was such a vile, nasty piece of crap. Dark. He was so dark that he reeked of it. Staring at Arrow, seeing his evil for what it was, I was downright disgusted.
&n
bsp; In response to my utter vehemence, the pillow I’d slept on burst into flames. He quickly vacated the bed and grabbed a glass of water from the nightstand. It was just enough to kill the small fire.
Arrow turned to me, naked and angry. “You crazy bitch. Are you trying to burn my house down?”
That was why my father had named me Ember. Even before I was born, he had known that one of my greatest weapons would be fire. I’d gotten it from him.
I stared steadily at Arrow’s face until circumstance demanded that I check out his package. It was right there. How could I not? So I did. And I did it slowly, appraisingly, hoping that he hated it. It wasn’t bad, in all honesty. Nothing to brag about but nothing to be ashamed of either. Still, I twisted my lips into a judgmental smirk, as if I found it lacking.
“You’re going to be sorry that you underestimated me, Arrow.” It was a threat that I had no idea of how to fulfill. But I would.
I made the safest decision, leaving before things could escalate. Except I really headed for the door because I feared Rowen would discover me there in Arrow’s bedroom. Hastily, I made my way out of the house, moving swift and light on my feet.
A couple of guys I didn’t know were passed out in the living room. I didn’t see Rowen but assumed him to be in his bedroom. I didn’t stop moving until I was a full block away and out of sight of the house. Then I called a cab and waited. I felt very much like I’d just done a walk of shame though I had nothing to be ashamed of.
As I waited for the cab, I began to plot. Arrow had crossed a line I didn’t know I had when he opted for blackmail. It was just so low and underhanded, so devious.
My phone rang again, reminding me that I had missed a call. It was Jett.
“Hey, bitch!” she shouted, sounding far better than I felt. “What the hell happened to you last night? I came upstairs looking for you, but someone said you left with a guy. Did you hook up with somebody? Please tell me it was Rowen.”
“I didn’t hook up with anyone. Except that I kind of did.” I explained what had happened and how I was sure that Arrow had drugged me. “I think he did it to Rowen too, maybe to get him out of the way for the night. Anyway, he’s holding a photo of me in his bed hostage. He said he’d show it to Rowen and tell him we slept together unless I back off from Rowen.”
Jett let loose a steady stream of curse words. Her description of Arrow went on so long I almost laughed. Except I was too mad to laugh.
All too seriously, she asked, “Do you want me to kill him? I’ll fucking kill him for you, Spike. Nobody threatens my bestie and gets away with it.” She wasn’t joking. Maybe she wasn’t as violent as she liked to pretend to be, but Jett was dangerously protective of those she loved.
“No killing. He’s not worth it. I’ll find another way to deal with him.” Now if only I knew what that would be.
“Where are you? Do you want me to come over and hang out for a bit? We can scheme together.”
Her hopeful tone brought a smile to my face. I spied my yellow taxi in the distance and sighed with relief. “I’m heading home to shower and change before Cinder pops in. I’ll catch up with you later.”
“Ok, but don’t forget that we have plans tonight. We have to celebrate how far we’ve come.” She paused, the flick of a lighter audible in the background.
The cab pulled to a stop beside me. I opened the door and sank into the backseat. “I’ll be there.”
* * * *
Whatever Arrow had slipped us, it was lingering. I popped a painkiller for my headache before grabbing a shower. Dressed in sweats, I threw a sandwich together and quickly scarfed it down before gathering my gym bag. I paused long enough to give Seth some love, fresh food and water.
What I really wanted to do was head for my bed and sleep the day away. Until today I hadn’t had any idea what my choice would be. I still wasn’t ready to make my decision, but I was a step closer. Thanks, Arrow.
I headed for the gym. It didn’t take me long to work up a sweat. I did some yoga, ran on the treadmill, and then ran through some sword practice moves. With every swing of my blade, I pictured Arrow on the receiving end. Instead of tiring, I grew more energized, more aggressive. I muttered every bad word I knew, even combining a few to make whole new swear words. It had been some time since I’d been this pissed off.
I sensed Cinder seconds before he materialized. Whirling to face him, I swung my wooden practice sword, aiming for his neck. He met my swing with his own sword held ready. Since it was real, it sliced through my wooden one, leaving me holding a stub.
“That was impressive,” he commented with an admiring nod. “I must admit, I wasn’t expecting to find you here.”
I tossed the remains of my sword aside. Bouncing off the bench against the wall, it clattered loudly in the relative quiet. “Yeah, well, that makes two of us.”
“Are you ok, Ember?” He laid a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “Tell me what happened to get you so worked up.”
Breathing hard, I pushed my messy ponytail off my shoulder and sighed. “Arrow happened.”
Cinder sat down on the bench, patting the spot beside him. “I take it last night didn’t go so well.”
“It started great. We kicked ass. Made it through to the next round.” I sat heavily beside him and leaned my head on his shoulder. “We went to an after party at Arrow’s. What a fucking mistake that was.”
Cinder didn’t even lecture me about swearing or give me a look. He sat there and listened while I told him everything. Every time I told someone, I relived the parts that I remembered, which fed my seething rage.
“Arrow is doing what he feels he must. As we all do. I’m sorry he did that to you.” Cinder’s arm slipped around me, warm and comforting.
I angled myself on the bench so I could meet his gaze. “It’s ok. I’ve had years to get used to this, but I didn’t actually think I knew what I wanted until this morning.”
Cinder blinked a few times, as if he’d expected me to say something else. He clasped one of my hands in both of his. His emotional reaction was not entirely unexpected. If I chose a human life or, God forbid, the dark, my journey with Cinder would end. His deep concern meant so much to me. He was the kind of friend I only hoped to be.
He asked, “What does that mean?”
“It means that I’m not ready to choose, but I’m ready to get serious about choosing. If that makes any sense. I can’t pretend to be human knowing everything I know. Being a nephilim is who I am. And if Arrow is any indication of what being dark is like, then I know I don’t want to be part of that.”
He hugged me so tightly to him that he squeezed the breath from me. Cinder kissed my forehead. “It overjoys me to hear that. I understand your fears, but please know that the reward will be greater than the risk.” He pulled back and studied me, smoothing back a strand of hair that had escaped my ponytail.
His kind words delivered such comfort that I didn’t mind the inability to breathe. Something small and special blossomed into something vast and strong. I hugged Cinder, holding him as if he would disappear if I didn’t. “Thank you for always being so patient with me. For letting me make this decision in my own time.”
He brushed a gentle hand down the side of my face. “I just want you to embrace who you were meant to be.”
Chapter Nine
Strobe lights lit up the stage. The incessant shrieks of hundreds of women drowned out the music. A smoke machine generated a cloud of dramatic fog. The silhouette of a man in fire fighting gear sent the shrieks to a deafening decibel.
Our ladies’ night out had been Jett’s idea. We sat around a table near the stage with Tash and Rubi, eagerly awaiting some sexy male entertainment. It had been ages since we’d done this. It wasn’t a bad way to celebrate our most recent Battle of the Bands achievement.
After my talk with Cinder, I’d been so concerned with training that I’d begged him to spend the day with me. He had lovingly refused, insisting that I spend some time with my friends. At
first, when Jett announced her plan to take us to the male strippers, I’d been reluctant. Now that I was here, watching a hard-bodied dancer move in ways I never dreamed a man could move, I was happy for the escape.
As each man came out and gyrated for us, the screams seemed to get louder. Perhaps loudest of them all was Jett. She waved a five-dollar bill overhead, whooping in glee when the fireman danced over to our table. She stuffed the cash in his tiny g-string, taking the opportunity to run her hands over his chest. Then she plucked another bill from her purse and waved it over my head, shouting, “Over here, big boy.”
Before I knew what was happening, he lifted me out of my seat and wrapped my legs around his waist. While the crowd of ecstatic women watched, he ground his groin against me in a dirty dance that made me both mortified and hysterical with giggles.
By the time he put me down, my face was hot with embarrassment. I didn’t know how I was going to get Jett back for that one, but her day would come.
“Oh, I’m jealous,” Rubi gushed. “He’s sexy. Did he smell good? I bet he smelled good.”
I’d been so horrified by what was happening that I hadn’t taken note of his smell.
Laughing along with the girls was exactly what I needed after the previous night. I wasn’t sure today could get any better.
But then it did.
My phone vibrated in my purse. Since I was already with my closest friends, I assumed it was my mother, even though we’d spoken earlier. When I saw that it was a text from Rowen, my heart stuttered.
I’m sure you’re busy but what are the odds that I could see you tonight?
I didn’t know what to say, so I stared stupidly at the screen feeling both delighted and disappointed. Though I had yet to make a commitment to the light, I was sure that Cinder would frown upon me spending time with Rowen. Then again, if he was to be my first task, wouldn’t spending time with him be beneficial? It could be a good way to get to know him, to build trust.