by Trina M. Lee
“How do you do that, man?” Rowen sparked up the joint and took a long pull. “Come across so genuine. No judgmental crap. It feels like you really care.”
Cinder leaned against the doorframe wearing a wry smile. “I do care. I understand that such things are often part of the human experience and especially part of the rock music experience. But it doesn’t have to be. Besides, only God can judge and contrary to popular belief, He’s much more interested in positive reinforcement.”
Rowen offered the joint to me, but I held up a hand to decline. If I indulged any further, I’d probably fall off the balcony. He studied Cinder for a moment before saying, “What about Arrow? Is it too late for him?”
“No. It’s not. His humanity means that as long as he’s alive there’s a chance for him to find his way out of the dark.” Cinder held Rowen’s gaze. “Don’t give up on him.”
“Arrow’s a good guy somewhere in there,” I said. “I’ve seen it.”
“I believe that’s true,” Cinder agreed. “But I’m afraid I can’t come to his aid every time he gets in over his head. I was stretching the rules tonight.”
“But why? Why does saving someone’s life have to be against the rules?” I leaned on the railing, looking down below. The ground below began to spin, and I had to turn away.
“Because there is a natural order, Ember. And death is part of it. I intervened because you requested it and requests made on behalf of another are powerful. But it can’t always be that way.” Cinder looked apologetic as he spoke, as if he disliked telling it like it was.
“Makes sense,” Rowen said.
Cinder tapped his fingers against the doorframe in a rhythm that sounded a little bit like our song, `Daughters of Disaster’. “I’m going to leave you two now. I’ll be back after you’ve gotten some sleep. I want to talk to you about what happened tonight. The three of you with Jett, it’s given me an idea I’d like share with you. When you’re of sound mind. Goodnight.”
Gone. Just like that, he vanished. Sometimes I envied that ability.
Rowen stretched and stifled a yawn. “Sleep sounds really good right now. After I blow your mind of course. I have a congratulatory orgasm to give you.”
My cheeks burned as I blushed to the tips of my toes. “Well, how can I say no to that?”
It wasn’t our finest intimate encounter by any means. We literally fell into my bed together. Intoxication botched our normally smooth moves. We laughed it off, which increased our closeness.
Joining the light hadn’t come with fireworks, balloons, or a big welcome party. I hadn’t really expected it to, but finally choosing was rather anticlimactic overall. However, not every choice needed to be celebrated to make it real. Perhaps the most poignant choices were the ones made in the privacy of one’s own heart and soul.
As I lay curled in Rowen’s arms, I found myself whispering words of thanks. Choosing the light didn’t make anything any easier or less frightening, but it did mean that Rowen was my ally, a partner in more than just love. We had dedicated ourselves to the greater good even though we were so far from perfect ourselves. Venturing into this endeavor with him made it far less intimidating.
“You know, I got a new ability too,” Rowen said, his voice thick with sleep. “I can enter other people’s dreams.”
I listened in bewilderment as he described his new talent. Entering the dreams of another person sounded both intriguing and terrifying.
“Can you do it at will? Are you forced into it? Sounds scary.”
“It’s only happened a couple of times. With Arrow, actually. I think I did it accidentally. It didn’t feel scary, just confusing.” He yawned, causing me to yawn as well. “I’ll have to ask Cinder about it sometime. I’m not sure I know anyone else who would know.”
I knew then that Cinder’s declaration was true. This was only the beginning. We would likely face Dash again. He had seemed so intent on having Rhine’s boys among his kind. A demon required more than a decapitation to keep him down. Even if he didn’t prove to be a further threat, then there would most certainly be others like him.
The world could be a dark, ugly place. We would find the beauty and help others to see it too.
I had thought that I needed to be ready to declare my choice, but I would never have been ready. Having my back against the wall as a demon threatened to harm my friends and me, that was what I’d needed. It forced me to choose by stripping away my uncertainty. Danger itself had given me the courage to be bold.
Good things could come from evil. It was a tough concept to grasp sometimes, but it was perhaps the biggest affront to evil. As much as evil sought to breed more of itself, it often planted the seed of goodness.
My commitment phobia was by no means over. Even lying there with Rowen, part of my mind whispered: What if it doesn’t last? What if he just breaks your heart? What-ifs are total bullshit, the lies we tell ourselves to foster a fear we shouldn’t have to live with. I’d just made two significant commitments: one to Rowen and one to the light. Maybe that didn’t mean I was cured of my fears, but it was a damn good start.
* * * *
The mouthwatering aroma of freshly baked cookies drew me to the kitchen. Cinder had just taken them out of the oven. He flapped an oven mitt at me, herding me out of the small space.
“Go sit down, Ember. They need to cool for a few minutes.”
When he turned back to the oven to grab another tray, I swiped one from the counter anyway. Crazy hot, I juggled it back and forth between my hands as I returned to the dining room table.
Rowen and Arrow sat on one side, Jett on the other. I took the seat next to her, frowning when she swiped the cookie from my grasp.
It hadn’t been easy getting Arrow over here. He’d been reluctant to say the least. He sat there with a hand clenched on the handle of a mug of coffee. Since arriving with Rowen twenty minutes ago, he’d barely spoken more than a few words.
Around a mouthful of cookie, Jett exclaimed, “Holy shit, Cinder, these are good!”
That earned her a nasty glare from Arrow whom she rewarded by showing him a mouthful of chewed food.
“Does anyone want more coffee?” Cinder asked. With an apron and oven mitts, he looked hilariously cute. He was more in his element than I ever would be in such attire.
“Only if you have some Irish cream to go with,” Arrow said, frowning into his mug.
“No thanks, we’re good,” Rowen interjected.
Cinder joined us, setting a plate of cookies in the middle of the table. Then he pulled out the chair at the head of the table and sat down. He waited expectantly for us to try his baked goods. Even Arrow couldn’t resist nabbing a few. They were shortbread, my favorite, and tasted absolutely, melt-in-your-mouth fantastic.
“The reason I’ve asked you all here,” Cinder began once we were all happily munching away, “is to discuss the possibility of arranging a team, if you will. You all have various strengths and gifts. Combined together, you were able to drive off a very powerful demon. Your teamwork was impressive. Together you can accomplish so much more than you can accomplish working alone.”
“Wait a minute,” Jett broke in, her cookie paused halfway to her mouth. “You want the four of us to work together? As a team?”
Cinder gave a nod of his shaggy, blond head. “Yes. A run in like you had with Dash won’t be the norm I’m sure, or so I hope. However, in many other scenarios, the four of you could truly complement one another.”
Arrow began to laugh, a bitter sound that drew everyone’s eyes to him. “Have you conveniently forgotten that I’m dark? I’m a drug dealer who takes orders from those in direct opposition to you. How do you expect me to be part of your little band of merry men?”
Unfazed by Arrow’s snark, Cinder met his gaze evenly. In a gentle tone, he said, “Arrow, I would never ask you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I merely thought perhaps you would be interested in working with your brother at times. You are dark, yes, but you still h
ave free will. And I did not ask you here to count your sins, merely to invite you to be a part of something special.”
Arrow leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms, and muttered, “Special.”
“Even me?” Jett asked. “I’m not an angel baby like these three. What can I do?”
Cinder graced her with a smile that revealed his even, white teeth. “No, an angel baby you certainly are not. You are fierce with the exceptional strength and healing that a human does not possess. Even these three can’t heal as fast as you can. Your dedication to Ember is admirable. You have more to offer than you think.”
Munching on her cookie, Jett pondered this, nodding silently. Then she said, “I’m in. As long as it doesn’t interfere with band stuff.”
“I’m definitely in,” Rowen added. He slid a sidelong glance at his brother who glowered at nobody in particular. “Arrow? You can say no, but I think you should at least consider it.”
With a screech, Arrow shoved his chair back. “Yeah, I’ll do that.” He grabbed a handful of cookies before storming for the door. He paused on his way out to add, “Thanks for the cookies.”
“Well, that went well,” I said when he was gone.
Cinder shrugged, unfazed by Arrow’s attitude. “He’ll come around.”
“So, what about you, Spike?” Jett’s elbow found its way between my ribs, making me squeal. “Are you in?”
I thought about the demons I’d faced down. They existed to offer unsuspecting humans choices that would swallow them whole. They slunk from person to person, breathing lies and deception into the ear of any who would listen. I recalled the poisonous smile on every one of their faces when they saw me, so sure that little old me couldn’t do a damn thing to throw a wrench into their plans. Then I thought of Dash and Koda.
“Yeah, I’m in.”
Epilogue
We hadn’t seen much of Arrow lately. In the week since our talk with Cinder, he’d kept to himself, preferring to stay home and write music while locked away in his basement. He had barely reacted when Rowen announced that he was moving out. Though it was safer for them both that way, Arrow’s lack of emotion was worrisome. I knew that Rowen was more concerned than he let on.
Jett and I were back at The Spirit Room to watch a friend’s band play. We’d decided to use tonight’s outing as an opportunity to find out if we were up for the challenge Cinder had presented to us.
“There’s a demon behind you,” I told Jett. “Don’t turn around. You won’t see him. He’s incorporeal.”
“Ok, so what now? What’s he doing?”
“He’s giving me the finger.”
And he was. He knew we were on to him. We’d caught him whispering in the ear of a guy already strung out on drugs, encouraging him to take it further, to test the limits of life and death. The guy was oblivious to the literal monkey on his back. With bloodshot, sunken eyes, he scanned the bar, most likely looking for Arrow or one of the many other dealers who frequently passed through.
“Well, give it right back.” Jett spun around with both middle fingers up. The people standing behind her gave her a dirty look, which she ignored. “What does he think of this?”
“Stop that.” I grabbed her hands, trying to stop the werewolf from antagonizing the demon.
“Hey, buddy.” Rowen swooped in out of nowhere, sauntering up to the bleary-eyed guy. “Want to come outside for a smoke?”
The guy tried to focus on Rowen, but he had a hard time and shook his head in confusion. “Yeah, sure, whatever. Thanks, man.”
The demon moved as if to follow them, but I stepped into his path. “Not tonight, dude. Leave that guy alone.”
To anyone who was paying attention, I appeared to be talking to nobody. However, in a rock bar where everyone was getting a drunk on, nobody was watching me that closely.
The demon sneered at me. Even though he wasn’t corporeal, he had a human appearance. Not all of them chose to look that way. Some of them chose to be downright ugly and terrifying.
“You think a couple of nephilim brats are going to get in my way?” With an exaggerated sigh, the demon suddenly turned visible. He remained relatively emotionless, as if I was so low on his awareness scale that I wasn’t even worthy of his disdain.
“Not just us.” I pointed at Jett who was made a show of flexing as if prepping for a brawl. “Trust me, you don’t want to tangle with her. She’s an eye gouger.” To emphasize my threat, Jett held up a hand tipped with claws and smiled. “Of course, if you don’t have it in you to take us, I guess you could just jump on out of here and there wouldn’t be anything I could do about it.”
“Do you think I’m an idiot?” He did muster a glare for me then.
“Yes,” I nodded. “I do.”
He held up both hands in a `bring it on’ gesture. “Alright. Let’s have it. Show me what you’ve got.”
Without wasting a second, Jett grabbed him by an arm, spun him around, and wrenched his arm up behind him so hard he grunted. Then she shoved him up against a nearby pillar and put her free arm across the back of his neck.
“I can slit your throat in a split second,” she snarled. “Take your business elsewhere. You’re done here.”
I placed a hand on his shoulder, pulled some of his dark power into me and then thrust it right back into him. “Listen to the wolf. We can’t kill you, but I can guarantee that we’ll have fun trying anyway.”
“Are you for fucking real, little thief?” The demon chuckled. When he followed that up with a sigh, I wasn’t sure I liked his bored response. “I don’t need this crap tonight. I’m far too busy to piss around here with half-breeds. You want the junkie so bad, fine. Have him. There’s always more where he came from.”
The demon vanished, which pleased me but lacked true satisfaction. Unfortunately, he was right. There were always more. For every person we aided, there would be hundreds more we couldn’t. That realization startled me even though Cinder had warned me not to entertain such ideas.
“You do what you can do, Ember,” he’d said. “And leave the rest in God’s hands.”
I knew he was trying to ease the perfectionism that I’d felt since choosing the light. In a way he did. Still, there was so much to mull over.
Jett scoffed, “Where was the challenge in that? I expected more of a fight.”
“Sometimes they give in because it’s easier to move on than to engage. It’s not a good thing. He’s just moved on to another target.”
We headed outside to find Rowen. He was sitting on a bench, sharing a smoke with the guy, and talking him through what appeared to be a bad trip. We hung back and watched without being obvious.
“Too bad all guys aren’t like that.” Jett nodded toward Rowen. “You nabbed a good one. It’s about time I guess. Your track record sucks.”
“Tell me about it. I think Rowen and I were meant to meet now. I don’t want to read too much into it, but it feels destined.”
Jett cackled and tossed a purple lock out of her eyes as she lit a cigarette. “You? Read too much into things? No way.”
I had to smile at her sarcasm. I couldn’t help that I was an over-thinker. Since our meeting with the Dark Mountain Records reps a few days prior, all I’d done was think. About juggling music, keeping up on my graphic design business, and being available to act on behalf of the light. This juggling act was going to require some work.
The Dark Mountain rep booked some time for Crimson Sin at one of the better studios in the city. We would be recording twelve of our original songs. We currently had an indie record available for download, but this was the real deal. Dark Mountain was going to back our record and had already committed to a small, promotional tour.
I was thrilled. We all were. This was the start of our dream come true. Still, I hoped like hell that it didn’t drive a wedge between Rowen and me. He’d been nothing but supportive. I wondered if I would have been as supportive if our roles were reversed.
Of course Dark Mountain didn’t forge
t Molly’s Chamber. They too had been contacted for a meeting. They were offered the chance to record an EP, which would be promoted by the label. According to Rowen, Arrow had barely surfaced since then. He stayed in the basement writing.
Rowen found an apartment downtown already. Living at Arrow’s had become too dangerous. This way Cinder could put a ward on Rowen’s place, giving him some sanctuary from demons. Cinder had also put his seal on Rowen. As a Dominion, he supervised other angelkind, the light nephilim included. His constant guidance and presence in my life made more sense to me now. Of course, Cinder’s seal wouldn’t stop all demons from messing with us. Some of them would be encouraged by it.
Koda for one was not deterred by it. Though we hadn’t spoken since the last time he showed up at the jam space, he’d been around. I saw him lurking in the parking lot outside the vampire bar when we played there a few nights ago. He kept his distance, but he made certain that I knew he was there.
Dash, on the other hand, hadn’t bothered Rowen or me, though from what I heard, Arrow had been in contact with him. Dash had offered him a chance to earn his way back into the family. Arrow had been reluctant to share the entire conversation with Rowen.
Demons were unpredictable. Like tonight, some of them would go out of their way to avoid a run-in with a white lighter. Others sought us out. I still wasn’t sure which Dash was. Would he give up on Rowen? I didn’t know, but if not, I was more than willing to hack his head off again.
“Wanna head over to the jam space? I think I’m done with this scene for tonight. I’d rather work on some new material.” Jett’s gaze followed a guy with liberty spikes and a studded leather jacket. “Or maybe I’ll see what he’s doing.”
“What happened to the dude with the dreads?”
She scrunched her face up and shook her head. “No go. He was engaged. Alas, my hunt for a boy toy that can keep up with me continues.”