Helena was a slender woman, slightly taller than Zoe, with long curly red-gold hair and green eyes, and a smattering of freckles on a cute petite nose.
“M...mama?” Zoe stammered. She gripped Eva’s hand tightly, unsure of what to say or do.
“Hello, my little one.” Helena cupped Zoe’s face. Zoe felt a feather light touch and almost jumped away. It took all her willpower to stay rooted on the bed and not to fall off again.
“What…”
“She will finish that sentence soon,” Theresa said as she sat on a chair and crossed her legs. She rested the tambourine on her knee and smiled at Zoe.
“Is Saint Theresa teasing you too much?”
“Um...” Zoe just couldn’t get her brain and her mouth to work in tandem, and she sighed in frustration. “Are you real?” she finally asked.
“Yes.”
“I miss you so much.” Zoe’s voice broke and she put her left hand over her mouth. “There isn’t a day that goes past when I don’t think of you.”
“I know, my darling. I miss you as well. Papa and the boys miss you too, but I don’t want you to rush like you always do and come join us. I saw Theodore earlier.”
“You saw Theo? Did you speak to him?”
Helena put her hand over her heart. “No, I just saw him. I’m so happy you and your brother are together. I’m happy you found what was past Mount Ossa.”
Zoe’s heart skipped a beat as her final words to her mother came back to her. “Mama, I didn’t mean…”
“Oh, darling, I know you didn’t. I know you wanted to leave Larissa and see the world, find love and all the other exciting things you read about. I know that.”
“But—”
“If I could have travelled the road with you, I would have. You have grown into a beautiful woman and you are everything I wanted you to be.”
“Really? Everything? Do you remember when you asked me what boys I liked?” Zoe asked.
Helena closed her eyes and nodded. “You don’t like tall boys,” she said. “You don’t like short boys, or boys with brown hair, or boys with black hair.” She counted on her fingers the many variations of boys Zoe had rejected. “Child, are there any boys you do like? What I should have asked you was, ‘are there any girls you do like?’”
Zoe swallowed the lump in her throat when Helena repeated verbatim the words she had uttered the fateful day hours before she had been killed. “Not girls, but one very beautiful girl.” She looked at Eva, whose love for her was evident for anyone who chose to see.
“I know, darling. She makes you happy and that is all I care about. That is all your papa and your brothers care about.”
“She does, and, Mama, I’m pregnant.”
“I know.” Helena laughed. “You are going to have all the joy of bringing life into this world, my darling daughter. You will see them grow and give you extraordinary joy. Be patient, because I know how little patience you have.”
Zoe rolled her eyes. “Yes, Mama,” she said and glanced at Eva, who was snickering.
Helena wiped the tears from her eyes as she gazed upon Zoe. “I fear this is the last time I will see you again until God calls you home. I want you to be happy, to love and be loved. You are and always will be my precious child,” she said and leaned down and kissed Zoe on the cheek. She straightened and looked directly at Eva. “You are also my daughter.”
She took a last long look at Zoe and cupped her face. “I love you.”
Helena slowly faded, leaving Zoe to gaze open mouthed into the space where she had stood just moments before.
Without a word, Eva opened her arms to Zoe, who lay down next to her and wound her arms around her body. She buried her head against Eva’s shoulder and sobbed.
Theresa got up from her seat and gazed at them. “You have God’s blessing and the angels’, my darlings,” she said, and with a last shake of the tambourine she vanished.
CHAPTER 42
Monday, July 02, 1951
20 Weeks into Zoe’s Pregnancy
A clap of thunder rattled the bedroom window for a few moments and Eva stirred. She loved Sydney winters; they were mild, and even when it rained, it wasn’t that cold, unlike winters in Berlin. She didn’t even mind the rain—before it would signal an aching body, but now it just made her lethargic and eager to curl up next to Zoe without a care. She lifted her head off the pillow and scowled at the rain-splattered glass. Theresa’s healing of her brain injury and her back pain had been a blessing, but it also created some new problems. Eva’s memories were resurfacing, memories that lay dormant behind walls that had been built around her mind through the damage sustained in Aiden and in the bomb blast in Paris.
She leaned over and brushed away the hair on Zoe’s neck. She was a little envious of Zoe’s hair because it was growing faster than hers. She loved the feel of the silky strands in her hand.
An idea took root while Eva watched Zoe sleep. She mentally slapped herself for not thinking of this earlier. She pulled the covers off herself and very quietly got out of bed. She winced when the bed creaked, but Zoe was still asleep. Getting up fast was not a great idea at this point. Whilst Eva was healed, her balance was an issue. She reached for the edge of the chair that was nearby and steadied herself.
She had nearly succeeded in getting out of the room when she tripped on a shoe. She froze, certain the noise would wake Zoe. To her relief, it didn’t, and she quietly opened the door and went into the room that she used as a darkroom.
“Now, where is that camera?” Once she found it, she put in a new roll of film and went back inside the bedroom. She stood in the doorway for a moment, and then she brought the camera to her eye and focused on Zoe.
The flash bulb went off and right on cue Zoe woke with a start. “Evy, why are you taking photos of me asleep?” she said, her voice still a little husky from sleep.
Eva came over to the bed and knelt down as if she were praying. “I had an idea.”
“That’s nice,” Zoe mumbled.
“I’m going to chronicle our babies’ life from day one through a series of photos.”
“Can’t,” Zoe said.
“Why not?”
“Unless you have a special camera—and the Nikon isn’t a special camera—you’re not going to get any photos of our babies.”
Eva brightened. “Ah, but you see, the baby photos come after, when they’re born.”
Zoe closed her eyes, but the camera flash made her open them again. “That wasn’t a photo of the babies.”
“Yes, it was.” Eva nodded. She crawled up on the bed. “Zo, imagine this—having photographs of our babies even before they are born.”
Zoe smiled. “It’s a good thing you can develop your own film. I think this house is going to be plastered with photographs by the time our babies come.”
“Lots and lots of photographs,” Eva said, and gave Zoe a kiss. “We’re going to be a family. We’re going to be the best parents ever!”
Zoe caressed Eva’s cheek. “You are just adorable.”
Eva put the camera on the bedside table and got under the covers. She looked into Zoe’s emerald eyes, cupped her cheek, and brought her lips down, kissing her gently. “I love you.”
“I love you,” Zoe whispered, and gently laid her hand over Eva’s head. “How are you feeling?”
“Our babies are giving me heartburn.” Eva giggled. “That’s how I’m feeling.”
“What happened last night?”
Eva didn’t want to respond to that question, so she closed her eyes and almost wished Zoe would not persist. She knew Zoe wouldn’t give up, especially now that her memories were resurfacing. When she opened her eyes she found Zoe’s gaze on her, patiently waiting for a reply.
“I had a nightmare.”
“I was in it,” Zoe said matter-of-factly. She tenderly kissed Eva on the lips.
“How did you know?”
“Hm. You were talking in your sleep again. Yelling at me not to turn around.”
> “It was the day your mama was killed.”
“Oh?”
“I remembered something that happened that day…”
“What happened?”
“I...um...I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Didn’t Hannah say that it would be a good idea to share your memories with me? You want to share the good memories, but you also have to share the bad. It helps you to get it out of your head. I know it helps me when I talk to you.”
Eva nodded. “We were in the field and people were getting shot. I remember seeing Major Bonhoffen behind you.”
“Hm, what about him? He was a sadistic bastard, but he didn’t do anything to me on that day.”
“I know, but I knew his reputation and I saw it first hand in Paris. He held a gun to the back of your head.”
“I didn’t even feel it. I was so focused on you in front of me that I didn’t notice Bonhoffen.”
Eva nodded. “I know. That’s what saved your life.”
“What?”
“Bonhoffen liked to look at his victims in the eye before he shot them in the head,” Eva quietly revealed. Zoe’s only reaction was a slight eyebrow twitch and a narrowing of her eyes. “You were too focused on me to notice the barrel of the gun at the back of your head.”
“Well, didn’t he have a bad day then,” Zoe quipped. “You saved my life, Evy. You did and we both know it.”
Eva blinked. It was the first time Zoe had spoken in such a way instead of looking back in sadness. Zoe’s face creased into a smile. “It’s alright, I know where my mama is, and she’s happy. I miss her every day, but she’s not here. You are, and this is my life.”
“I...ah...”
“Don’t look so shocked. I saw my mama. That day was horrendous, but I think we can file that memory where it belongs.”
Eva simply stared at Zoe in amazement. “You are truly fearless,” she finally managed to say.
“Nah. I know where Mama is and that day is in the past. It still hurts, but not as much. Now, how is your balance this morning?”
“I got up too fast. I should remember to slow down.”
“That’s going to take a little bit of time to sort itself out,” Zoe said. She put her hand over her mouth and yawned. “Now back to your favorite subject at the moment. If we were having just one baby, would you want a boy or a girl?”
“Yes,” Eva replied.
“Yes, a boy, or yes, a girl?”
“I don’t care. As long as you’re healthy, and the baby’s healthy, I don’t care.”
Zoe nuzzled up to Eva and they spent some time just holding each other. Eva was feeling more than just comfortable. A contented feeling infused her body and mind. She didn’t want to move.
“Why are you taking the photographs again?”
“To show them how they were born.” Eva turned and picked up the camera. “I have an idea.”
“Another one?”
“How about we draw on your belly—” Eva didn’t finish her sentence because Zoe threw her a pillow, hitting her in the face. She started to laugh and found herself on the receiving end of a tickle fight, ending with Zoe straddling her.
“Ooh, I like having you on top.” Eva chuckled and captured Zoe’s lips for a quick kiss. “Want to have breakfast with me?”
“Breakfast is not dried toast and Vegemite. You need more than that. I don’t believe you are eating Vegemite!”
“Are you going to cook?”
Zoe chuckled. “So you want me to get out of bed and make you pancakes?”
Eva nodded enthusiastically.
“Remind me again which one of us is pregnant?” Zoe joked lightly and tapped Eva’s dimpled chin.
“I’m the one with the heartburn now… Don’t you feel sorry for me?” Eva asked, putting her hand over her eyes in defeat. “What about if I make the pancakes and you join me for breakfast?”
“Oh, I don’t know, it’s a hard choice. Do I stay in bed alone or watch you make breakfast? Let me think about this.” Zoe closed her eyes and scrunched up her nose in thought. She opened one eye to spy what Eva was doing and watched her laugh.
“I’ll throw in a striptease if you join me for breakfast.”
“A striptease...hmm...” Zoe rolled over and nuzzled Eva’s neck. “You’re already halfway there.” She lifted the blanket to see that Eva was wearing just midnight blue underwear. “I do like that color on you.”
Eva looked down her own body and gave Zoe a quirky little grin. “Me too,” she said and they both laughed.
Zoe sighed contentedly and let her fingers trace around Eva’s belly button.
“Are you going to work today?”
Eva nodded. “Yes. Debbie tells me that the chatter is about my brain surgery and how I’ve lost my mind. People are thinking that I’ll never be able to recover.”
“That bothers you?”
“Well, of course, it bothers me. It’s not true.”
“If Mama Saint hadn’t healed you, it would have been true,” Zoe gently reminded Eva. “You were not coping.”
“It was so frustrating not being able to remember and then my hands would shake…” Eva stopped, took a deep breath and let it out. Zoe took her hands and held them. “I need to stop thinking about what would have happened if Mama Saint didn’t heal me.”
“When do you think that is going to happen?”
“When I stop my brain from thinking.” Eva responded and shook her head. “I think going into work will help. I have to be seen. If I start working on Lambros Steel like Uncle Wilbur wants me to, it’s going to raise a lot of unwanted attention if people think I’m still injured. I need to show people I’m better.”
“So it’s all about perception.”
Eva nodded. “Yes. It’s a bit hard to explain to people that a saint healed me, but I need to show I’m not as brain damaged as they think.”
“You’re not going to the old building, are you?”
“Debbie tells me that they moved Jana’s office to the cottage, so that means...ah...”
“You won’t have to go through that building,” Zoe finished.
Eva looked down at Zoe, who was resting against her shoulder, and smiled. “Don’t ask me to face my fears and walk into that building. I’m perfectly happy not to face that fear.”
“What is there to fear, Evy? It was an accident.”
“I know, but the other day Theo was standing on a ladder in the living room and it just made me a little nervous. I went out the back and came around the house to avoid going through the living room.”
“Have you spoken to Hannah about that?”
“A ladder phobia is the least of my problems, and it shouldn’t be a problem at all. I blew myself up in Paris and that’s worse than a paint bucket…”
“And yet you get nervous when you see Theo up a ladder.”
“I’m a bit of a mess up here.” Eva tapped the side of her head and smiled wryly.
“I don’t think you are a mess. I think you are amazing to have the strength to deal with everything. I don’t believe I’m saying this to you, but you need to be patient.”
Eva saw the humor in Zoe’s admonition. “Yes, that’s what I need—more patience.”
“Promise me something?”
“A favor for you? Of course.”
“You haven’t heard what it is yet.”
“I don’t have to. I’d promise to do anything for you short of dancing naked in public.” She laughed when Zoe blew a raspberry upon her belly.
“Promise me three things. One, you won’t forget to have lunch.”
“Done.”
“Be nice to Emily when she comes around to deliver mail. I like her.”
“You do?”
“Yes. She was very concerned for you and came by the hospital a few times. She sent you a letter and several cards as well as flowers. Very thoughtful young lady. She’s a very caring person and she does care about you.”
“I don’t know why. I spoke to her, but I
wasn’t overly chatty.”
Zoe chuckled. “Evy, you will never be accused of being a chatty woman. Emily said she liked that you would smile at her and be polite.”
“See? I told you that charms the girls,” Eva quipped only to find Zoe had closed her eyes and was shaking her head. “The healing did not improve my jokes, right?” she asked and laughed when Zoe cuddled up against her and laughed with her.
“I trust your intuition here and I will be nice to Emily, although she does like to touch me...”
“She’s a hugger. I know you don’t like people hugging you, but let her. It doesn’t hurt. It’s a nice thing to do.”
“She gets really close, Zo.”
“I know, but it won’t hurt you.”
“What else?”
“If you see a painter, come back home.”
“Is that supposed to be funny?” Eva asked and gave Zoe an incredulous look.
Zoe smiled and nodded. “Come on, that’s a little bit funny.”
“Maybe, a little bit.” Eva replied and waggled her hand.
“Is that it?”
“Yep,” Zoe replied. “You think you can do that?”
“Well...if you come and have lunch with me, I won’t forget to eat. I’ll be nice to Emily and even allow her to hug me, which I’m not too keen on.”
“I’m going to see Aunty Stella today, but what if I come afterwards? I’ll bring a nice picnic basket.”
“Tessa is coming with me today. I feel like I’m having my mother take me to my first day at school. Did you have any say in that?”
“No, I wasn’t born when your mother took you on your first day of school,” Zoe quipped, making Eva smile. “I would have loved to have seen you as a toddler. Big blue eyes and pigtails.”
“If Persephone looks like me, you will get your wish.”
“What baby number is she?”
“Number ten,” Eva replied and started laughing when Zoe shook her head. “You don’t like Persephone?”
“You are coming up with the worst names.”
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