“No, it’s not,” Sabrina lied and locked the doors once they were in the car. Sabrina started the car and got ready to go.
She had seen enough of the crack heads and houses that were her home at one time. Sabrina was about to pull off when someone came knocking on the window.
“Momma!” Corey yelled, almost climbing over Sabrina to get the driver’s side window where JoAnn was knocking. Sabrina stopped Corey and pushed him gently back in his seat.
JoAnn was clad with wild hair and old, dirty clothes but she was still able to motion for Sabrina to roll the window down. Sabrina didn't want to but, of course, Corey wanted to talk to his illegitimate mother. Corey was now bouncing in his seat at the chance to talk to JoAnn.
I guess he doesn’t know what a John or a blow job was, Sabrina thought. Briefly, her mind drifted to when she found out what the oral sex act was. She remembered it like yesterday. It wasn’t in a health class, but at lunch when all the kids began calling her mother a hoe. She learned quickly about her mother’s extracurricular activities.
To Corey, JoAnn was Momma regardless of how many dicks she sucked or how many of his video games she stole. Corey still loved her and Sabrina damn near hated her. Yet, here they were.
Sabrina rolled the window down a bit so they could hear her, but she didn't want her dick breath on her or Corey.
“Hey, babies, what y’all doing’ down here?” JoAnn asked, wiping her mouth and fidgeting with her clothes.
"We're looking for you, Momma. Come on and get in the car so we can go," Corey said, unlocking the car from his passenger door. Sabrina quickly locked the doors again and shot Corey a look that would have killed a football team.
"Naw, Core. I wish I could, baby. I gotta go see about a job," She lied as she continued to wipe her nose and fidget nervously.
Sabrina almost laughed but, for Corey's sake, she kept a straight face. She hasn’t had a job in 20 years, Sabrina thought. She’s already employed by the crack pipe and the heroin needle, not to mention whichever man puts money in her face to suck his dick.
“But, Momma, I miss you. I want you to come home with us,” Corey begged.
Looking at Corey beg made Sabrina furious. She doesn’t deserve his love and his begging. I should get out the car and slap her for lying to us but that was what she did best, lie, Sabrina thought angrily but clenched her fists so as not to act on them.
“I know, boo. Momma misses you, too, but I'm gonna get this new job so I can get another place and you can come stay with me.”
Now she was fucking up, telling him the same damn lie, and I'll have to clean up the mess when she doesn't come through. Sabrina began to curse herself for even coming to look for JoAnn.
Ms. Bernadine was calling JoAnn which gave Sabrina and Corey a clean getaway.
“Junie, come on. Come on, Jo," Ms. Bernadine yelled like Christ was coming, using JoAnn’s nickname.
“I gotta go, babies. Love you,” JoAnn spouted off before she started running down the street with Ms. Bernadine. They moved so quickly and agilely before they disappeared into a house down the street.
Corey looked confused. Sabrina grabbed him and hugged him real tight. He was sensitive, if nothing else, and soon he started crying.
A little at first, then uncontrollable tears. “She---she-she just left us,” he stammered between sobs. “I was still talking and she just left” He continued to say.
“I know, baby. That’s not the real her. Remember, I told you that she is sick. Well, that’s what the sickness does to her. We don't matter when she needs a fix.”
Corey crying in her arms reminded Sabrina of when he was a baby and used to cry from the withdrawal of the drugs. She was nineteen, at the time, and raising a crack baby. Sometimes he would just cry for no reason.
I don't know where I got it from, but I was so patient with him. I just rocked him and repeated, “I love you,” over and over until, eventually, he stopped, she thought back on all those days and nights with him.
“I wanna go home,” Corey said, interrupting Sabrina’s walk down memory lane. She let him go as he wiped his face on the sleeve of his jacket. She started the car and sped down the street, getting them away from the crack heads and crack-houses.
He looked out the window, still searching for JoAnn. Sabrina already knew where she was. In some abandoned house, JoAnn was getting high while her babies drove away. Sabrina’s wall was built up to her mother, but Corey still hadn’t gotten bricks together to build his.
Unfortunately, he would and there wasn’t a damn thing Sabrina could do about it.
Chapter 8
She was on the ground behind a trash can in an alley. Her pants were down at her ankles. She didn’t have a mirror, but the throbbing in her jaw told her that it was swollen. That also probably meant it was broken.
SHIT! My pussy is sore, JoAnn thought to herself as she touched her inner thigh.
The alley was shaded, but it was daytime. The heat had raised the temperature in the trashcan and the stench of stale and molding food greeted her as she sat up on her concrete bed.
How long was I in this fucking alley? What the fuck happened to me? she tried to think but her head hurt too bad. JoAnn tried to piece things together and that’s when she remembered. Or, at least, she remembered some of the night.
JoAnn had tried to rob Chauncey the night before. She was about to buy something from him when he turned his head to answer his phone. She took that as an opportunity to grab his stash and run. She ran as far as she could but her legs couldn’t outrun his car.
“COME HERE, BITCH!” JoAnn remembered him screaming as he blew his horn and sped up behind her.
JoAnn remembered feeling the metal bumper. The bumper hitting her legs as she fell to the ground was the last thing she remembered before she was knocked out.
I guess he caught up with me, JoAnn thought to herself.
FUCK! I had to get a hit. Who knows how long I have been lying here, but I’m sure it was a long time.
“Get up” the voice inside her said. “Go get some money. We need a hit. We’ll worry about your leg later.”
That’s when JoAnn looked down and realized her knee was swollen to the size of a cantaloupe. She stood up and tried to put some pressure on it but almost fell down. She wanted to just lie on the ground and scream for help but the voice wouldn’t like that. Pulling her pants up she started walking.
I needed to get us some money. The voice and I needed our medicine, she forced herself to go on despite the pain.
I could take a few customers, but that would take too long and it was still light out. Her pussy was throbbing so badly already that she didn’t think she could take a dick anyway.
I could go steal something and sell it, the way she looked, she wouldn’t make it inside a store before security got her.
“Go get some stuff from the kids,” the voice said.
Hmmm… Momma did show me where they was moving, JoAnn thought back on the day her Momma pointed out their new house.
“You damn right. Let’s go get it,” JoAnn said aloud to the voice.
She was walking on the street now and people were staring at her, but there was nothing new about that. The voice and she often talked to each other out loud. The voice always had the best ideas to get them a fix or out of a jam.
Hopefully, they weren’t home so I could get in and leave, she walked and formed a plan.
Just let me make it a little while longer, she begged. I just wanna make it to the next hit. That’s all I care about.
“We gonna make it. All this pain will be gone when we get our high,” the voice told JoAnn.
Getting high made JoAnn think of her most prized possession. She reached inside her shirt and felt around in her worn bra. Her face went up into a half-grin as she felt her needle bag. She would have fully smiled if her jaw wasn’t busted.
They didn’t get my best friend, JoAnn thought to herself as she hobbled through the streets.
To JoAnn, th
e needle was the only thing she could depend on.
* * *
"MOMMA!" Corey screamed as he opened the door.
“Hey, baby,” JoAnn said but Corey knew something was wrong. She was holding her stomach and her face was swollen. She couldn’t hide her limping. JoAnn always had a smell, but it was worse this time.
Corey tried to hug her but she moaned from pain as he squeezed her.
“Momma, who did this to you?” Corey asked. The concern in his tone was that of a protective father. Standing at five feet tall, Corey was far from a father figure. Corey always wished he was older and bigger to beat up those guys that hurt his Momma. This wasn’t the first time JoAnn had shown up, beaten and bruised, from a “fall down the stairs,” as she liked to call it.
JoAnn didn’t answer his question. Corey wouldn’t have known the drug dealer’s name anyway. “Is Brina here?” JoAnn asked, peeking around Corey to look into the house.
“Naw, Momma, She’s at work but, Momma, she said I can’t let you in,” Corey said the words as he looked down towards his feet.
He felt bad that he couldn’t let her in but, after his first game went missing, he understood why.
“Aww, that’s ok, baby. You gotta mind your sister,” JoAnn said. Inside, she was kicking herself.
How am I gonna get the money now? JoAnn asked the voice. No longer did she depend on her own conscience for decisions. The voice was the only reasoning she had left.
“Get him to give you something,” the voice whispered to her.
JoAnn went to work. “I understand, but Momma needs help. I owe a man money. The man that did this to me,” JoAnn said as she showed Corey her swollen knee and enlarged jaw. Corey’s eyes grew big as he saw JoAnn’s wounds.
“Do you got something you can give Momma so I can go take it to the pawn shop to get some money?” The words came out of JoAnn’s mouth fast before Corey could think. JoAnn started shaking and scratching her arms. Corey’s mind started turning, thinking of what he could give her.
What about my game? Corey thought. But Brina just bought it. She would be too mad if I gave it to Momma. Corey dismissed the idea and kept thinking.
“Momma, how much money do you need?” Corey asked her. Corey hoped she didn’t say anything too high. He had a plan but it wasn’t too much.
“Ahhh, baby, a nice amount. I need it or this man is gonna hurt me,” JoAnn said, still peeking through the door and about to walk in. The addiction had made her bold. Whatever and whoever she had to take from was just a part of life now.
“Is a hundred dollars enough?” Corey asked. To him, a hundred dollars was a lot of money. To JoAnn, it was only a hit or two.
Corey hadn’t seen her smile that big in a while.
“Yeah, baby, that’s exactly how much Momma needs. You got that for Momma. I’ll pay you back,” JoAnn lied. It all had a nice sound to it.
“Momma, you can have it but only if I can come with you. I don’t want that man hurting you,” Corey said, staring at her clothes. JoAnn was so dirty, Corey wished he could let her in but if Brina found out, he would be on punishment.
“Ummmmm, yeah, you can come, baby.”
“No, he’s too little…Shit, he can go. NO!” JoAnn began to talk to herself aloud, usually something she left for times when she was alone. Now, she did it in front of Corey. He stepped back further into the doorway.
He knew she was arguing with someone, but it was just the two of them on the front porch.
JoAnn sensed she had scared him. “Awww, baby, I’m sorry. Yeah, you can come. You just gotta be quiet and do what I say, ok?”
“Ok, I’ll be right back,” Corey said, ducking back into the house to get the money.
The metal can was heavy with pennies, dimes, and quarters. He emptied all the change and dollars out of the old coffee can where he kept his money until the hundred dollar bill fell out. Benjamin Franklin stared back at him. Corey didn’t want to part with it. Brina just gave it to me. I was going to buy a new game with it, but Momma needs it more he convinced himself.
Corey grabbed his jacket and wrote Brina a quick note saying he was going with Momma and he would be back later. She always told him to write her a note if he left, but she also said not to leave with JoAnn, so he decided to follow at least one of her orders.
He emerged back on the front porch and found JoAnn, still mumbling and pacing back and forth.
“Ok, Momma. Let’s go,” he said, cheerful about their outing. Corey felt almost like he was going on a school fieldtrip with his best friend.
I get to spend some time with Momma. Maybe after we pay this guy off, he will leave her alone and let her come home, Corey thought as he smiled and walked with her up the street.
He didn’t know that drug dealers didn’t sign permission slips.
Chapter 9
He wanted to go so I let him. Anything for him to give me the money. JoAnn didn’t care. He’s old enough to get out of my way when I want him to, she thought to herself.
Damn, I wish I had a car to get to the spot quicker, JoAnn impatiently thought. Stealing a car was out of the question, Corey and her swollen leg would probably slow her down. Damn, I’m hurting. I need some bad.
“Make him pay for the bus,” the voice chimed in. Damn, you right, JoAnn smiled, wanting to give the voice a high five for all the great ideas it had for her.
Corey agreed and they waited on the bus. Maybe it was just a few minutes, but it seemed like ten years to JoAnn. Corey was smiling like a Cheshire cat and talking her ear off.
“At school, I'm going to be in a play, Momma. Do you think you can come?” he asked, looking up at her, wide-eyed and happy.
“Yeah, yeah, baby. I'll come.” That’s really all JoAnn could say. She didn't want him to change his mind about the money.
JoAnn started coughing badly and almost threw up when the bus came. Of course the bus was crowded. She got herself together with a pep talk from the voice, so they still got on. JoAnn let Corey sit while she stood so he couldn't keep talking to her.
“What the fuck are you looking at?” JoAnn had to ask a few women that were staring at her. I may have been a little bruised but I could still suck dick better than these bitches, JoAnn said as she looked down at her tattered clothes. She needed to wash her pants but, either way, she didn't want people staring at her.
The bus kept inching along, letting people off and getting a new bunch on every few minutes. Finally, they made it to their stop and JoAnn grabbed Corey and started walking to their destination
She decided to go see Tony since she surely couldn’t go see Chauncey after the stealing incident. She usually stuck with the same person to get her drugs, but desperate times often changed the strongest of plans.
JoAnn would turn a few tricks for Chauncey and get back on his good side but, for now, she was going to go see Tony.
Problem with Tony was he liked her to do too much.“Suck my dick. Let me fuck you in the ass. Now, let him fuck you while you suck his dick.” He would ask her to do all that for a twenty piece of rock.
Hell, he could at least give me a fifty, she thought to herself as they continued to walk. She made it a point not to go see Tony until she really needed some or if she actually had some cash. Right now, both of those fit her.
Corey grabbed for her hand when they made it on the street. JoAnn guessed he was scared. For the first time she looked around and noticed how bad things were.
There were people outside arguing and about to fight, some woman was taking a guy behind a house for quality time. Some guy was naked, and rambling on top of an old car.
The sad realization was that it was still daytime. He would be frightened to see the shit that goes on at night. JoAnn didn’t see things for what they were anymore. When she was high, she didn't see anything.
They got to the house she wanted. Blue and falling apart, but it looked like heaven to her. JoAnn saw Tony's brown Cutlass outside and it looked like a shining luxury automobile.
&n
bsp; Corey squeezed her hand tighter as they made it down the sidewalk to the house. “Momma,” she heard him whisper.
“It’s ok, Boo. Just gotta go pay this guy and we can go, ok?” JoAnn didn't know the truth anymore. To her, a lie was the truth. And that’s what she told him.
He nodded, as they made their way past the man laid out in front of the door. They walked back to the kitchen and Tony was there, over top of the stove. Watching him mix up the dope made JoAnn’s mouth water.
“Give me the money,” she told Corey.
He did as he was told and dug into his jeans pocket and handed her the one hundred dollar bill. It’s only one hundred dollars. I forgot I really needed two hundred.
“Go stand over there,” she told him, pointing to what she guessed was the dining room. It was empty now, but JoAnn and the other crack heads usually shot up in there.
Tony turned around as Corey walked out of the room. He had his eyes fixed on him. JoAnn only hoped he didn't get mad and turn her away.
“Hey, Tony. What ya got for me, baby?” She said, hobbling over to him and rubbing his shoulder.
“Bitch, get yo hands off me. You don't touch me unless I tell you to,” he spat his words at her.
“You got some money or you getting fucked?” he asked but it sounded more like a statement. He must have thought that JoAnn forgot the rules.
“Yeah, I got some money but I was hoping you could give me a little more. I got a C-note,” she told him.
“Now, you know that ain't enough,” he said, turning around and snatching the money out of her hand.
“I know, but I was wondering, umm… if we could work something out. Maybe we could go in the…“he cut her off before she could finish.
“Who is the boy?”
“That’s my son. He won't be no trouble. We could go in the bathroom so he don’t...”
“What you trying to get?”
“Two packs.”
He stepped past her towards the dining room. He stopped and stared at Corey who was sitting on the floor, playing some small game player that he brought along for the ride.
Freaks Cum Out (Dawn of the Freak) Page 6