She continued to stand in her nightie looking out over the scene which had become so familiar over the last months, her stomach churning at the thought of leaving.
Jenny hadn’t queried her announcement as to why Blaine wasn’t taking her to the airport, although she had tried to insist that she would drive her there. Maisie had overridden this, insisting she’d already booked the taxi and that she would really rather not do goodbyes at the airport. ‘They are such emotive places,’ she’d said to Jenny, ‘and I don’t want to cry in public. You know?’
She didn’t have to rush downstairs that morning because Liliana had arrived home late the night before and would be seeing to Jenny and Guiseppe’s tray. Nevertheless, she showered and dressed quickly—having packed the night before—and went down to see to the animals’ food. Whether Humphrey sensed she was leaving she didn’t know, but certainly the little animal wasn’t his usual bouncy self, his whiskered face woebegone as he ate his food.
She put a plastic raincoat over her head and dashed down to the horses in the stable, staying there for quite a while as she made her goodbyes. Ithel gave her a soft-nosed farewell, pushing his head into her hand and letting her stroke his smooth back. He wasn’t in the least bit skittish with her as he was with everyone else, even Jenny, and Maisie was sure it was because somehow the foal knew she had been involved in the fight for his life.
By the time she got back to the house everyone was up, and after forcing down a couple of pieces of toast she went to her room and made sure everything was in her bags. Her hair had got slightly wispy and curly in the damp air; she pulled it into a high ponytail on the back of her head and stared at herself in the mirror. ‘This is it, girl.’ Her nerves had become more taut as the morning had progressed; now they were as tightly coiled as a spring. ‘Last few minutes saying goodbye and then you’re off.’
She lugged her case and bags downstairs, getting a scolding from Jenny in the process, who had told her to call her so she could help, and, steeling herself, began her goodbyes. One day when she had been out with Blaine she had bought little presents for Jenny, Guiseppe and Liliana. Now she gave the two women the beautiful handmade shawls she had for them, Guiseppe receiving his bottle of his favourite liqueur with gruff thanks.
‘And something for you.’ She bent down to Humphrey, who had barely left her side all morning, earning himself harsh words from Liliana in the process when he had tried to creep upstairs to her. She put the soft leather collar complete with a little engraved medal with his name and the house telephone number round Humphrey’s neck after taking off his old frayed one. He licked her hand as she did so and it was only then that she cried.
This set Jenny and Liliana off and sent Guiseppe into his study declaring there was nothing to cry about. Maisie would come and see them again, wouldn’t she? This wasn’t really goodbye, was it? Next year she must come for a holiday and stay for as long as she wanted.
None of them heard the key turning in the lock of the front door in all the commotion, and it was only when Liliana cried, ‘Blaine! I did not know you were coming,’ that Jenny and Maisie’s heads turned too, Guiseppe reappearing.
‘I have come to take Maisie to the airport.’ His voice was steady and even, his face deadpan and his clothes immaculate. If it wasn’t for the fact that he looked exhausted, the bags under his eyes indicating he hadn’t slept properly in days, Maisie would have vehemently protested.
As it was she said, ‘Thank you, but didn’t you get my message? I’ve ordered a taxi,’ as she hastily dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief. Wonderful. His last sight of her would be with a blotchy face and red nose. Not quite the lasting memory she wanted him to carry.
‘I’ve cancelled it.’
She stared at him, completely taken aback and feeling like a shock wave had just gone over her head. She wanted to be angry at his high-handedness and refuse to go with him, but with his parents and Liliana watching she could hardly do that. Besides which, she didn’t feel angry. She felt so bereft and emotional that all she wanted to do was sit and howl. Like Humphrey.
‘What on earth is the matter with that dog?’ As the sound which had been steadily gathering volume after starting with whimpers after Maisie had fastened the new collar registered on Guiseppe, he cast a startled look at Humphrey.
‘It is because Maisie is leaving,’ Jenny answered, but with her eyes on her son. ‘He does not want her to go. He knows he is losing something irreplaceable.’
Blaine’s eyes flickered to his mother’s for the briefest of moments and a look passed between them. Then he said, ‘He will get used to it in time.’
‘I doubt that.’ Jenny’s voice was sad. ‘He does not give his heart easily.’
Blaine turned away. ‘Are these your bags?’ he said, asking the obvious as he picked up Maisie’s case and other belongings before walking out to the car parked on the drive.
Jenny took Maisie’s hands in hers in a tight grip. ‘Be happy,’ she said in a low voice. ‘And promise you’ll come and see us again.’
She couldn’t. Maisie tried to smile but it was wobbly. ‘I hope Humphrey is all right.’
‘So do I.’ Jenny’s grip became tighter. ‘I didn’t know,’ she said softly. ‘I’m so sorry, Maisie.’
Guiseppe, in typical male fashion, was standing looking at them with a puzzled expression on his face as he tried to follow a conversation which had become incomprehensible. Liliana had bustled off into the kitchen, returning with a bag holding sandwiches, fruit, cakes and chocolate bars. ‘For the journey,’ she said, handing it to Maisie. It would have done credit for an expedition to the North Pole.
After bending down and fussing Humphrey one last time, Maisie followed Blaine out to the car, the others coming to stand in the doorway of the house. The rain was still hammering down and, as she slid into the Ferrari and Blaine shut the door, Maisie felt as though she was looking at them all through a veil of teardrops as the rain coursed down the windows of the car. It was entirely appropriate.
They didn’t speak until they had exited the drive and were on their way. Then Blaine passed her a crisp white handkerchief to replace her soggy one. ‘You didn’t really think I would let you leave without saying goodbye, did you, mia piccola?’ he said softly without glancing at her, his eyes intent on the road as the windscreen wipers laboured to take the water away.
‘It would have been better,’ she whispered when she could find her voice. Certainly less painful. For her.
‘Nothing about this situation could be better.’ He raked his hair, which comforted her a fraction. ‘I have not slept since we last parted, do you know this?’
She wasn’t going to say she was sorry because she wasn’t. It surprised her that he had been sufficiently disturbed to be unable to sleep but she had to admit to feeling glad. Nasty probably, but she’d never pretended to be perfect. Not being called Camellia, she didn’t have to. ‘What do you want me to say?’ she prevaricated.
‘That you have changed your mind would be nice.’ It was a growl. ‘But there is no hope of that. Impossible woman. Impossible situation.’
‘We’ve already done this to death.’ She couldn’t go through it all again. Whatever he was feeling, and she had to accept he was feeling more than she had thought he would from the look of him, it wasn’t enough. He hadn’t come to tell her he couldn’t live without her. He never would. Because it wasn’t true.
‘Sì, I know.’ He breathed deeply and for a few moments the silence crackled. ‘And I did not come today to fight.’
‘Why did you come?’
‘Because I could not stay away,’ he said simply. ‘I could not let you leave in a taxi and without saying goodbye properly. The last time we saw each other—’ he banged his fist on the steering wheel, making her jump slightly ‘—it was a mess, was it not?’
‘In a way.’ She tried to steady her voice. ‘But it was honest. We were both honest. What I feel for you is different from what you feel for me, and we both want
different things for the future too. It’s better to have everything out in the open. I have never believed in sweeping things under the carpet.’
‘My honest brave Maisie.’ It was said in a quieter tone, more rueful than angry.
She turned to look blindly out of the window. This was almost more than she could bear. After a few minutes she said, ‘I shall miss Humphrey. He’s a dear little dog. And your parents and Liliana, of course.’
He nodded but said nothing and they continued to the airport through the streaming countryside, the atmosphere within the car tenser by the mile. Maisie found herself silently praying for the strength to say goodbye properly when the time came. She didn’t want to weep and wail and cling hold of him although she knew that was how she would feel. But she had to leave with dignity. After all that had passed between them and the way she had bared her heart to him and been rejected, she had to be able to hold her head up when they said farewell.
When they reached the airport she said, ‘You don’t have to come in with me. Just drop me outside and I’ll be fine.’
‘Do not be ridiculous.’ It was final.
After parking the Ferrari he took her case and bags, leaving Maisie with just her handbag, and they walked into the airport. It had stopped raining minutes before and now the air held the peculiarly distinctive smell of rain on concrete which had been baked by the sun. Maisie knew she would never be able to smell the aftermath of a summer storm without reliving this acutely painful moment.
After checking in, Blaine insisted on buying her a coffee she didn’t want. His face was closed and guarded as they sat sipping their drinks and Maisie didn’t have a clue as to what was going on behind the smooth mask he’d adopted. But it was helping her to remain strong and that was the main thing. If he had started trying to persuade her to stay again or had spoken words of desire or held her, this would have been so much harder.
And then it was time to go through to board the plane. He walked with her as far as he was allowed and then handed her the bag Liliana had given her for the journey and which had not been put in the hold. Maisie was trembling violently—she couldn’t help it—but a kind of numb acceptance had settled on her mind, which enabled her to say, ‘I shall miss you. Take care of yourself.’ And then she handed him the package she had been about to give Jenny to give to him before he had walked in the door.
‘What is this?’ He stared down at the small parcel.
‘Just a little thank you for being such a wonderful escort.’ Good. Well done. Keep it up and in just a few more seconds you can exit his life with grace. ‘Don’t open it now; I’d be embarrassed.’
‘Thank you.’ His voice was hoarse and a muscle was working in his jaw. ‘It was not necessary, but thank you.’
Maisie nodded jerkily. ‘Goodbye, then.’ She reached up and kissed him on one cheek before stepping back smartly. She just could not do a hug. They would have to prise her off him kicking and screaming if she attempted a hug.
She guessed he’d realised she was at breaking-point because he did not try to kiss her or take her in his arms. They simply stared at each other for what seemed a long, long time before she turned and walked away. She looked back at the last moment and saw him standing very still and alone, the package held in his hands as though he was cupping an injured bird.
And then she walked out of sight.
Chapter 12
Right up until the moment when the plane rose into the air Maisie was hoping something would happen. That somehow Blaine would board the aircraft and demand she leave with him. Daft, she knew, in these days of heightened security, but she still couldn’t help hoping. Or that she would turn round and see him sitting somewhere. He would say he had bought a ticket at the last moment because finally he knew she meant everything to him. Or there would be a message sent via the control tower. Maisie Burns, will you marry Blaine Morosini? Something like that.
Of course it didn’t happen. Because this was real life, Maisie thought miserably as the plane rose into the air and up into the clouds. Not a film or a book where a happy ending was guaranteed. Besides, Blaine was too big a character for a film. He would dominate all the other actors to the point where there would be an uprising.
The shadow of a smile touched her mouth at the thought. No, this was real life all right and she had to get on with it. On her own. Oh, she did so wish she wasn’t going to Sue’s but to a place of her own. Somewhere where she could lick her wounds in private and be as miserable as she needed to be.
She felt awful about that thought when Sue met her at the airport, all welcome-the-weary-traveller. It felt strange to be standing on English soil again. No, not strange. Awful. She felt as though she had been torn away from her real home and deposited in a foreign place, which was pretty weird when you thought about it.
‘So, how was Italy?’ Sue sported a new streaked and carefully tousled hairdo and looked slimmer than ever. ‘Good, was it? Don’t tell me you met a handsome Italian hunk and you’re going to have his babies or I’ll spit.’
‘No such luck.’ Despite doing her best to sound flippant and amused, Maisie heard her voice crack. The next moment she had surprised them both by bursting into tears, right in the middle of Arrivals.
‘Oh, kiddo. What is it? Don’t cry.’
Maisie remembered why Sue was one of her two best friends when the other woman rose to the occasion, putting her arms round her, careless of interested passers-by, and hugging her tight. It took a real friend not to mind when your nose and eyes were expelling bodily fluids all over her Valentino jacket. ‘I…I can’t…’
‘Come on.’ Sue seized her case and one of her bags, leaving Maisie with a small overnight bag and the one Liliana had pressed on her and which she hadn’t even looked in. For once food had been the last thing on her mind through the torturous journey home when she had decided life, as she knew it, was over. ‘We’re going straight back to my place and you can have a long hot bath while I get something to eat, and then you can tell me all about it.’
Maisie found herself whisked out of the airport and into Sue’s smart little car before she’d had time to catch her breath. Once they’d arrived at her friend’s small but charming pad in Kensington, Sue deposited her things in the spare bedroom and then ran her a bath with an oil, which smelt as though it cost hundreds of pounds a sniff. Which it probably did, knowing Sue.
Maisie spent some time in the bath, mainly because she was dreading having to go over the whole sorry business again. But Sue, having got the bit between her teeth, would be content with nothing less. As it was, once she was ensconced in one of Sue’s old bathrobes—at least it was meant to be old but as far as Maisie could see it was almost brand new and certainly better than anything she possessed—and they started eating, she found it something of a relief to finally unburden herself. She didn’t tell Sue everything, though—Blaine had told her the details about his life with Francesca in confidence and she couldn’t share that with anyone. But she didn’t hold back on how she felt.
For once Sue was speechless when Maisie came to a finish. She stared at her for a few moments. Then she said, ‘The rotten so-and-so. He might have known you weren’t like one of those other women.’
Maisie blinked. Startled, she realised that in not telling Sue all of it she might have put Blaine in a bad light. ‘It’s not really his fault,’ she said quickly. ‘It’s just that after his wife being ill for years and then dying like that he doesn’t want commitment.’
Sue snorted. ‘Maisie, don’t do your understanding thing again. Get angry.’
‘What?’
‘Right from when your father left you found excuses for him. And for how your mother behaves. When Gary turned out to be a jerk you didn’t get angry and said it was for the best and all that, and even Jeff.’ Sue paused for breath, shaking her head. ‘I mean, lots of women in your position would have keyed his car at the very least. Or thrown away half of the records at the surgery when no one was looking. Or painted someth
ing very rude on the pavement in front of his house.’
Maisie was gazing at Sue with something like admiration. ‘I never thought of any of that,’ she said truthfully.
‘I know. That’s what I mean. You’re too nice. And you’re even worried about how that little dog, Harold, will cope now you’ve gone.’
‘Humphrey.’
‘Humphrey, then. You ought to be thinking purely of yourself. Don’t you see?’
‘I am thinking of myself. That’s why I’m going to move to Yorkshire and have a complete change. And I did tell my mother what I thought of her. Don’t forget about that.’
‘I suppose that’s a start.’ Sue was staring at her with something like despair on her face. ‘Maisie, promise me one thing, all right? If Jackie’s uncle comes sniffing around pretending he’s had time to consider and suggesting you go back there to see how things work out, promise me you’ll tell him to take a hike. If he really cared about you he wouldn’t have let you go. You know that, don’t you?’
If this was meant to be cheering her up and helping, it wasn’t. Maisie nodded.
‘He was trying it on. All along. Playing games. And when he found out you were, well, you know—’
‘A virgin?’
‘Well, yes, it probably became more of a challenge. Some men are like that. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he just happens to come over to England and just happens to bump into you and—’
‘Sue.’ Maisie’s tone of voice stopped her friend in her tracks. ‘I know you’re trying to be helpful and in a way you’ve got a point, but Blaine isn’t anything like you think he is. OK? And, trust me on this, he won’t come looking for me. So can we leave it now and talk about something else?’
Sue stared at her for a moment. ‘Fancy some chocolate cake for afters? It’s that one you really love with bits of flake and fresh cream.’
Maisie didn’t but she wouldn’t have said so for all the world. Which probably bore out at least some of what Sue had been saying.
The Italian Tycoon's Bride Page 15