“Stay,” he says in a soft voice.
I was never going to leave, my subconscious replies in my head.
He and I share a look of an intense, unidentifiable emotion, but it makes me smile and look down to hide my blushed cheeks. In my peripheral vision, he smiles to himself and looks away.
“Two cheeseburgers and french fries.” The waiter interrupts whatever calming wave that washed over Grey. I watch and thank her as she sets our plates in front of us before leaving. I take the time to lift the top bun and pick out the onions, which I hate with a passion. That and pickles. Everything else can stay.
“Don’t throw those away, you waster,” Grey cries out and reaches over the table to scoop up the purple rings I put to the side. I make up my face, and he laughs. “What? Don’t you judge. These things are good for your health. They help with my already sexy physique that attract the ladies,” he explains, dangling the rings over his opened mouth.
“There is no way I’d ever kiss you if you eat those,” I say, raising my eyebrows while crossing my arms.
He stops mid-way and tosses them on the side of his plate. “Same, I was just messing with you.” He looks away with a soft shade of pink in his cheeks. Grey blushing? That’s new and actually really cute. Here I thought cute and Grey wouldn’t ever be in the same sentence, but he just loves to surprise me, doesn’t he?
The waitress comes back and asks with a clearly forced smile, “Are you two enjoying the food?”
“Obviously, if my face is stuffed,” Grey mumbles quite rudely in an implied duh tone.
“I’m sorry about him,” I say to the girl, who shoots daggers at Grey, though he doesn’t seem bothered, instead he braces the sharp knives with a cocky smile. “It’s really good, thank you.”
“No problem, just call me if you need anything else.” Her sweet smile is contagious. I smile back and watch her give Grey a murderous look before walking away.
“You are so rude,” I say behind my hand as I hide my laugh.
“Just the way you like it, Princess.” He slides his tongue across his lips, catching a dot of ketchup on the corner.
I reach down and plop a french fry in some ketchup. “Can we address what I saw on your phone now?”
“Ah, you do have the wondrous talent of ruining a moment,” he says around a sigh before sipping his iced tea.
I kick his knee, and he catches my ankle and rubs his thumb over the indent toward the back.
“And you’re kinky,” he drawls out and whispers with a dark look in his eyes. “I likey…” His touch sends a blanket of flames over my skin. And he knows he has this effect on me. I rip my foot away from his hand and ignore his wide smile as he shoves a fry into his mouth.
“Who was she?” I ask him.
He stiffens, but it’s gone the second I notice it. “A girl I used to know,” he says. I try to sense a scent of sarcasm, but all I sense is pain. And then it clicks. The only girl I know that could have this kind of effect on him is the same girl Mason won’t tell me about. How he and her are connected with Grey—I do not know.
“She’s Rose…isn’t she?”
He puts down his half-eaten burger and looks at me with a sense of pride. “Wow,” he says after he’s finished chewing. “You are one hell of a good detective. Sure you still want to be a shrink?”
“Grey,” I breathe with exhaustion.
“Fine, Ms. Nancy Drew, she is. Or at least was.”
My eyes widen. “She’s dead?”
Now I feel horrible for poking so much for answers about a dead girl.
“No, but she is to me,” he says, and I nearly slap him for misleading me.
“Jesus, Grey,” I say and glare at him, but he smiles proudly and sucks ketchup from his thumb. “Who was she and how is Mason connected to her, to…this?” I gesture blindly with my hands. I know Mason told me to stop snooping around, but I can’t help it. I have a clear shot for answers, and I won’t give it up now.
He eyes me like he’s weighing the pros and cons for answering me. “She was my first girlfriend, my first love—great love and all that nonsense. But trust me, that title doesn’t mean shit if it doesn’t last.” I frown at the edge in his voice.
“Did she break your heart?” I think it’d be difficult to hurt this boy. He has so many walls up I’d like to tear down. But apparently, this Rose character knocked them down with ease, enough to leave him hurt.
“You don’t see her around, do you?” His tone is hostile.
“I’m sorry…but that doesn’t answer why I saw her on your phone.”
He pauses and clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth. “About that…I…fuck, this is so going to confirm your thought of me being batshit cuckoo in the brain and everything, but when I first knew that I was…I guess, falling for you, to use cheesy references as much as I despise them, I set a note on my phone to remind me that I should stay away from you. She and I…we had a falling out and we both got hurt, but her the most, and I…I just didn’t want to ruin you too. But obviously, it didn’t work…” He looks up from the table with a smile. “Did it?”
I am at a loss for words. He’s right. What he did was crazy but also sweet in a way. He had the noble intention of saving me from himself, but try as he may, he fell for me. And try as I did, I fell right back.
“No, I guess it didn’t…” I reply, unable to hide my smile.
“Did you get enough questions answered so you’ll believe me when I say I like you?”
“I guess…but it doesn’t change one simple fact,” I tell him, raising a finger.
“And what would that be?”
“You are still sleeping with Diana and other girls.” It hurts to even say. If he did all of this to stop himself from liking me to save me from getting hurt, then why did he continue to fool around with Diana and countless of other girls I don’t even know about?
“Oh, no! You’ve figured out my secret—I have a dick!” he exclaims sarcastically.
“You know what I also figured out? You don’t have a heart!” I hiss, not wanting to draw attention to us, and close my eyes before locking them with his. “You told me you liked me and how you didn’t want to hurt me, yet you sleep with girls and expect me to bypass all of that. You don’t do those things unless you’re playing me like a freaking violin—”
“Has it ever occurred to you that maybe this is the first time I’ve ever confessed I liked someone in a while?” he cuts me off. “I admit, I was a hell lot nicer, better, when I was with Rose…but after her, I guess I lost my touch, and I haven’t liked or cared for anyone like I care about you since. The closest thing I had to a relationship of any kind is Diana’s and my fuck-without-any-attachments-because-I-fucking-despise-but-love-her-dirty-ass-tricks-in-the-bedroom relationship,” he explains, and I cringe at his words. He notices my discomfort and smiles genuinely. “Sorry about that. But it’s true.”
I nod and look away to think. I’ve known that he isn’t one to admit his feelings or thoughts, which had led me to take things out of proportions. I just wish I knew all of this before. All that’s left for us is for me to admit my feelings and come to terms for what I feel for him.
But all I can wonder about, all that is blocking me from doing so, are the thoughts that have been plaguing my mind, like: Will he break my heart? Did he break Rose’s? What will this mean for us? Is he even ready to be in another relationship?
I can think and hypothesize all I want, but I will never know the answer unless we give this a shot. So I push all of the doubtful thoughts in the back corners of my mind and fiddle with my charm bracelet. I catch him watching me with a knowing smirk yanking on the corners of his lips. He looks up at me underneath his eyelashes.
“I understand and…well, I like you too, Grey.” Though I don’t know how he couldn’t tell before since I kept coming back to him even after the way he’s treated me.
“Great,” he says, pulling out his wallet. “Now that we have that pre-school shit out of the way, let
’s bounce.” He turns around and calls our waitress over. “We’re done here; tip’s included,” he says, handing her cash. I smile at his gratitude and so does she, blushing at his sudden shift from his previous bitterness. Trust me, you’re only seeing the tip of the iceberg, I say in my mind and arch my eyebrows, letting out a breath.
“Y’all up for some dessert?” she asks, glancing between us with a smile. “We have a wide variety of cheesecakes and ice cream.”
I open my mouth to order an ice cream sundae since it sounds good after enduring this stressful day, but Grey interrupts me before I can even out a word out.
“No thanks,” Grey says with a wave of his hand.
She nods and walks away. “Y’all have a good day now.”
The moment she’s gone, I frown at Grey. “Why’d you say no? I wanted something.”
“Sorry, didn’t know,” he lies and shrugs and looks around before reaching underneath the table. “I just don’t want mine to melt.” Before I can question what he’s talking about, I feel his hand make contact with my ankle. I suck in a deep breath as he raises my leg and brushes his hand under my pant cuff and caresses the back of my calf. I take in the alluring way his pink lips curve into a delicious half-smile and the churning of his black eyes. “I’m having my dessert back at your place…”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
A few weeks ago, I would shy away from the mere thought of sexual encounters. And I still am—shy, I mean—but Grey has made it next to impossible to turn away from it. Because of him, I actually crave it, and I never have before. But now the mere thought of him kissing or touching me sends a flush through my cheeks and a craving that fills every one of my pores. He has changed my perspective and unlocked a desire for the unthinkable within me.
So when he insinuated that he wanted me back at the diner, every thought of repercussions and overthinking left my mind and left room for him and only him.
The moment we enter my dorm room, Grey picks me up and walks over to my study desk. In one motion, he swipes everything off the desk, and I let out a gasp as I look at the books and papers I neatly arranged collide in a messy array on the floor. It took me an hour to sort those out!
“You didn’t have to do that,” I exclaim and hit his arm.
His lips stretch into a way that says whoops? and he says, “Sorry, I just always wanted to do that.” I can’t help but roll my eyes and laugh before attaching my lips to his. A familiar spark ignites as our lips move in unison. The heat sets my limbs on fire and yearn for his touch to put it out, but I want more. I want his body, touch, and lips to consume me until I am nothing left but smoke.
I grip his shirt and pull him closer. His lips taste of cigarette toxins and bittersweet dark chocolate. Unlikely components, but they make for a deadly yet delicious combination.
Funny how we were in this very position, minus the kissing, a few weeks ago when my mother walked in. I pray she doesn’t plan on surprising me with a visit like she did that time. My worries of her intrusion vanish the moment he picks me up again and releases me onto the bed.
I take off my shirt and watch as he does so too. My eyes run over his tatted body and the way his jeans hang loose on his tight hips, his pelvic muscles accentuated by his slick posture. He swipes his dark curls over his forehead before leaning down, and I attack his sweet lips with mine.
I glide my hands up his back and weave my fingers into his mess of dark hair. With a tug, he lets out a sound similar to a moan and grips one hand on the side of my waist. His nails dig deep and send a strip of pleasure to my core.
“This has got to go,” he rasps near my ear before nibbling my earlobe while tugging on my bra strap. I flush but gasp in pleasure and nod frantically when he curves around my neck and sucks gently.
“So do our shoes. I spent ten minutes perfecting this bed, and I don’t want dirt or anything messing it up,” I say in all seriousness. He pulls back with a bark of laughter. I raise my eyebrows, and he sucks in his bottom lip, then laughs some more until I am red in the face and crossing my arms.
“Fine, fine. Don’t lose your top, Princess.” He pauses and taps his chin with a devilish glint in his eyes. “Though you already have.”
“Grey,” I whine at his mockery, but I secretly love it. He laughs and waves a hand at me, amusement curving beside his lips. I admire his dimples and sit up and watch as he shoves off his boots on the floor and takes my Toms off. While he’s between my legs, he spreads them wide and unbuttons the top of my khakis.
“I think I’m going to nut on the spot just by taking this hideous thing off of you,” he says and jokingly closes his eyes in pleasure as he pulls the zipper down. “Oh, oh, oh…I am so fucking close!”
“Shut up!” I roll my eyes but giggle when he pulls the pants down and throws them across the room and shivers. I sit up and grab him by the back of his neck and pull his face close to mine. His laughter dissipates into the air when our lips meet in the middle. My mouth falls open and my heart skips a beat when his hand meets the metal clasp pressing into my back. I feel my bra loosen as he unclips the metal and arch my back as he slips the straps down and aimlessly throws it onto the floor.
Something snaps in his eyes when he pulls back and stares at my chest. My cheeks flare and my chest concaves with insecurity because of his silence and his roaming eyes. Although I feel closer to him than any other person, I still feel kind of scared and self-conscious of my body. What if he doesn’t like what he sees? I hope it’s dark enough that he won’t.
I cross my arms over my chest and look away.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Grey presses a finger against my cheek so I’m facing him. I examine the knit of his thick eyebrows and the soft curve of his lips.
“I—I don’t…” I stammer. My eyes leave his, but he leans down and taps my cheek again, making me look into his piercing eyes. “I’m sorry if I don’t…I know you’re used to more, and—and—”
“Don’t do that,” he says.
“Do what?”
Why doesn’t he just admit that my body isn’t what he expected and get it over with? I can’t take waiting for his laugh or snarky comment.
“That,” he says and sighs. “Liv, you’re fucking gorgeous. There is no need for you to cover up or downplay yourself. I want you to be able to open up for me, not compare yourself to others. Fuck that. Your tits are quite majestic, if you need any consolation.”
“Why thank you, Grey,” I say, referring to his last comment. A smile splashes across my face because, in his own words, he assured me that I am good enough for him. And Lord knows I could have use the affirmation. I have never been so vulnerable. So naked. Not for anyone other than myself, and even then, I immediately put clothes on. But here, in this moment, I am bare and open for him. He doesn’t know it, but an invisible bond has begun to tie itself between us.
“Anytime, babe.” He winks at me with a sly smirk before smashing his lips onto mine. I grab his shoulders and feel him pull my hair out of its ponytail. I shake my head and smile at him when he grabs a handful of my unruly curls and tugs gently. My head arches back, and I let out a gasp when he attacks the length of my neck with his tongue like it is a tattoo gun and he’s curving ink of euphoria into my skin.
His other hand slides down between our bodies like an electric wire and cups my soaking heat. My breathing stutters as I lean my head into the crook of his neck. I hold his shoulders and glide my nails down his biceps and curve my hands on the cusp of his back. I clasp my mouth on his salty skin and suck and kiss like he did with me, earning a groan from him. I smile, but it fades when he starts swirling his long finger around me. His touch is hot and ravenous.
“Grey,” I moan and throw my head back, lifting my hips and sliding my hands up his chiseled chest. His finger massages my sensitive area until I’m panting and whispering his name. I reach behind my head and grasp the pillow.
“Don’t come just yet, Princess,” he says, and I open my eyes. I had no idea I’d
closed them in the first place. He flashes me a nefarious smile before sliding onto his stomach. An abrupt gasp leaves my lips when he pushes my clutched knees apart, leaving me wide, open, and glistening for him. He sucks in a breath and places a kiss on my inner thigh. I moan his name and close my eyes briefly before craning my neck and watching as he plants kiss after kiss, trailing up to my soaking center.
“I bet no one has ever seen this pretty little pussy before me, huh?” His words send a shockwave of electricity through my body, stopping just short of my unstable heart. There are no words to describe the adrenaline rushing through my bones, squeaking and aching to be caressed by lips that release a ridiculous amount of bliss.
He kisses me slowly, gently…
“Answer me, Liv.”
“N-no, Grey. No one but you,” I breathe, and it’s true. I have never come close to feeling or doing anything like this before him. He is the first. It’s scary to think that but, in a way, also comforting.
“Good,” he says with a wolfish grin. “And no one ever will but me.”
I open my mouth to say something, but I scream out in shock when his tongue hungrily laps against me. Words clam up in my throat and nearly suffocate me. I breathe heavily and clasp the sheets beneath me until my nails press through the fabric into my palm. Thump! Thump! Thump! My heart is pounding dangerously against my ears as he glides and sucks on me while playing with me with a finger. His lips are lulling me into a world of ultimate ecstasy.
“Jesus, Liv. You taste fucking magnificent,” he groans, yanking my legs until my body scoots down and his face and tongue buries itself until I can’t see anything but his mass of dark hair. I reach down and engrave my fingers down in his roots and pull gently, arching my back. His hands slide under me and grasp my butt, clawing his nails down my skin—most likely making red marks—until they meet my thighs. He squeezes. I feel his finger slowly press into me, and I hiss and shake my head.
Grey: The Encounter (Spectrum Series Book 1) Page 33