Compulsively Mr. Darcy

by Nina Benneton

  “Great idea!” Lydia clapped. “Here comes Richard. I’m going to tell him I’m flying with you guys.”

  “We’re going to Oakland? What about Chicago? We have a meeting there,” Richard said to him after hearing Lydia’s news. “Surely you can part from Elizabeth for a few days.”

  “I’ll drive home with my sisters, and you’ll come to me when you’re done with Chicago,” Elizabeth suggested.

  “Absolutely not. I’m flying you back to your parents,” Darcy said. Lydia had let on Elizabeth had suffered fatigue during the long drive.

  “I want to go in the jet,” Lydia whined. “Come on, Lizzy, be reasonable. A pregnant woman shouldn’t be traveling in the car for hours.”

  “You’re pregnant?” Richard immediately glanced down at Elizabeth’s abdomen.

  “Here comes Hussein.” Lydia said to him, “Hussein, Richard just heard Lizzy’s pregnant, and he’s wondering if it’s William’s babies.”

  “I was not,” Richard protested. “I haven’t said a word. Did you say babies?”

  “You were so thinking it,” Mary said. “I’m going to insist on my sister doing a paternity test though. The idea of them being related to you—”

  “Excuse me, as if having an aunt who’s a ninja nutcase—”

  Jane interrupted, “Hussein, where’s Caroline? We want to say good-bye.”

  “She’s coming.” Hussein turned to Richard. “At the bachelor party, I told you Elizabeth got knocked down by this guy in New York, remember?”

  “Knocked up. How many times have I told you that? That means pregnant. Not knocked down,” Elizabeth corrected.

  “Darling, don’t be bitchy,” Hussein shot back. “That’s how I could tell you were pregnant: your bitchiness and your knockers were getting big.”

  Darcy took a menacing step toward him. “Excuse me?”

  Hussein hid behind Elizabeth, whispering loudly, “Oooh, darling. I see now why you’re knocked over. Such a sexy, chilling voice he has when he’s defending you. Too bad he bats for your team instead of mine. For him I’d be willing to break my vows.” He straightened up. “Ah, here comes my lovely bride.”

  They watched Caroline’s face brighten. She quickened her steps straight toward Darcy. “William, I was hoping you’d still be here.”

  Richard muttered, “I told you to hide yourself. You’re not completely safe even if she’s married to that jokester there.”

  “I want to say thank you for coming, William.” Caroline arched her back to show off her silicone gift from her husband.

  “Does she not see the rest of us standing here?” Lydia said in a not-too-low whisper to Hussein, “And should the new Mrs. Ahmed be flirting with another guy the day after your wedding?”

  “At least she’s showing she has good taste in men,” Hussein whispered back.

  In a louder voice, Lydia said to Caroline, “We were just discussing Lizzy’s being pregnant and how your husband knew right away because he noticed her big natural boobs.”

  “That explains why she’s fat now.” Caroline turned to Elizabeth. “I hear they have great sperm banks there in San Francisco. Which one did you use?”

  Hussein shushed her, “Be nice. Elizabeth is not fat; she’s bloated.”

  Jane stepped forward. “Thank you for inviting us to a lovely wedding. It was very elegant.”

  Caroline barely nodded at her while Hussein pointed at Elizabeth’s face. “That pigmented spot may increase in size during pregnancy—”

  Elizabeth slapped his hand. “Bug off!”

  Caroline pulled Darcy a small distance away from the group. “I’m sorry you have to put up with these girls this morning. They’re friends of Hussein. I wished they’d leave already. The blonde was the orphanage girl who denied us. You even met her sister, the dirty hippie, in Vietnam once or twice. She had long hair then. But I’m sure you don’t remember her.”

  “I more than remember her, I can assure you,” he said.

  Caroline’s eyes widened at his angry tone. Looking puzzled, she stepped back to stand next to her husband.

  Bingley came running up. “Sorry I’m late. Were you all waiting for me to say good-bye?”

  The group began their good-byes. Mary and Jane then left. Darcy noticed Bingley’s pensive staring after the disappearing car. Darcy raised his eyebrows. Bingley shrugged. Darcy shrugged back. He had enough trouble with his own love life to give advice to someone else.

  While Darcy motioned to the limousine taking them to the airport to come closer, Elizabeth pulled Caroline aside and whispered something in her ear, then air-kissed her before hugging Hussein good-bye.

  As Darcy helped Elizabeth into the car, he glanced back at Caroline’s stunned expression. “What did you just say to her?”

  Elizabeth whispered, “I told her the sperm bank I used was loaded and each and every one of my withdrawals was magnificent, especially the one this morning.”

  He paused in reaching for the seat belt strap and whispered back, “Naughty girl. I love you.”

  He double-checked a few times to make sure her seat belt felt secure before he was satisfied. He then walked around the car and kicked the tires to make sure they were all properly inflated. While the rest said their last good-byes, he asked the limo driver about his safe driving record.

  “Come on, Darce, we know you think Elizabeth is precious cargo, but it’s only a thirty-minute drive to the airport,” Richard said. “Let’s get going.”

  Satisfied that the driver would drive safely, Darcy settled himself next to Elizabeth. He put his arms around her and let himself relax.

  “I can’t wait to see Dad’s reaction when you bring William home.” Lydia laughed.

  ***

  “Nervous?” Richard asked Darcy as they drove through the streets of Orinda.

  “No,” Darcy said. They had dropped Elizabeth and Lydia off earlier. He and Richard went to check in to a nearby hotel and were now on their way to have dinner with the Bennet family.

  “Liar!” Richard laughed. “He’s probably cleaning his shotgun right now.”

  “I doubt a professor of Women’s Studies at Berkeley is a card-carrying member of the National Rifle Association.”

  “A man’s daughter is a man’s daughter,” Richard said as they arrived at the Bennets’ home.

  Upon being introduced, Elizabeth’s father gave Darcy a hard glare. Darcy asked for a private word with him. With a casual shrug, the professor dismissed his request and said there was no need. He then pointedly ignored Darcy while he chatted with Richard about sports and politics. Darcy didn’t mind. In her father’s shoes, he would have reacted worse.

  “William, did you have any trouble getting time off…” Mrs. Bennet said.

  Darcy turned to her and flushed, embarrassed that he was caught staring longingly at Elizabeth and hadn’t heard the question.

  Mrs. Bennet smiled and looked pleased for some reason. “I asked if you had any trouble with your boss, getting time off to come here instead of heading to Chicago. Lizzy said you interrupted your business trip to see her home and meet us.”

  While Richard laughed, Darcy cast a rueful glance at Elizabeth. “I see your daughter didn’t tell you. I own my own business, Mrs. Bennet. It was no problem to reschedule my meetings.”

  “That’s good. I’d hate for you to get into trouble at work during these hard economic times with two babies coming. It’s time for dinner. You look like you could use a good meal, young man.”

  Throughout dinner, Mrs. Bennet kept exclaiming he was too skinny and urged her daughter to make sure he ate more. Elizabeth would nod and follow her mother’s instructions, giving him another serving of this and that until Darcy finally had to tell his fiancée he literally couldn’t eat another bite.

  After dinner, he pulled his fiancée aside and whispered, “Tell your mom now about planning the wedding. Whatever she wants. No limit on expenses. Tell her I’m worth billions, but tell her, as you and I agreed, we want to be married wit
hin a month.”

  Elizabeth took her mom to the kitchen. Minutes later a loud screech came from the kitchen, then, “Oh my goodness! Billions! My grandchildren will be well taken care of. Mrs. Long next door and her pitiful niece’s wedding! Pshaw! I’ll show them a wedding! Oh my goodness. A month? He can’t go to Chicago for business tomorrow. We have so many details to plan and discuss with him for the wedding. What kind of fish is his favorite? Does he like beef or chicken? What about cake?”

  Professor Bennet stood. “Come, gentlemen. Let’s escape to my study before we’re subjected to some loud cataloguing of Mr. Darcy’s gustatory preferences. You can write it all down for your future mother-in-law, Mr. Darcy. You can use my favorite fountain pen.”

  Twenty minutes later, when his fiancée saw Darcy, she screamed, “William! Why do you have ink all over your hands and face?”

  CHAPTER 33

  Fluorescent Microbes

  “Hi, sweetheart. We’ve landed at Oakland airport. I’ll be at my hotel in thirty minutes. Are you there yet?” Darcy said, smiling as he slipped a hand into his pocket and fingered a small box.

  “Change of plans. I’m waiting for you at the airport here. We’re going to the hotel. I have a surprise for you.” Elizabeth laughed at a noise from him. “No need to grunt your disappointment. My surprise will involve me getting undressed.”

  “God, I missed you.” He greeted her fifteen minutes later with a kiss and tried to cop a feel of her bosom. After three days away from her, he was horny as hell. He hoped she was taking him to some romantic hideaway. Twenty minutes later, when she pulled up in front of a nondescript office building, he complained, “This is not the private romantic place I was hoping for.”

  She ignored him and pushed him out of the car. “This is your surprise. We have an OB appointment. They’re going to do an ultrasound today. I’m going to introduce the babies to their daddy.”

  “Elizabeth, I…” He turned away from her to compose himself.

  Taking his hand, she led him through a narrow hallway into a big reception area. Right in the crowded large lobby, he stopped. He kneeled down in front of his fiancée and fumbled in his pocket. “There’s something I need to do before I meet my children.”

  “Oh, goodness, a proposal,” someone in the lobby said.

  “How romantic,” another voice said.

  Within seconds, a large crowd gathered in a circle around them. Some of the bold ones began to offer suggestions on what to say. He held up his hand to silence them, and looking up into his fiancée’s green eyes, he held the ring out. “Elizabeth Bennet, I promise to love, honor, and shag you and only you until the last breath leaves my body. And then my soul will wait, search, and find yours thereafter through eternity. Will you marry me?”

  With a hand over her opened mouth, she simply stared. He smiled. He had managed to shock her, for once.

  “I’ll take him if you don’t want him,” someone said.

  At that, Elizabeth came to and glared at the speaker before turning back to him. “Yes, a thousand times yes. Now get up and kiss me, you silly man.”

  He stood and placed the ring on her finger. Then, in a sudden move, he dipped her and planted a wet, noisy kiss on her lips. Her surprised laughter was worth the prize of being the center of the now very rowdy crowd’s attention. Some of the women charged forward and elbowed him out of the way to examine the ring. A few directed approving glances his way when the size and cut of the diamond was discussed.

  Thirty minutes later, in rapture, he stared at the ultrasound screen where two little hearts beat rapidly. He had to clench his hands so he wouldn’t touch the screen. Through the reflection of the ultrasound machine, he caught a glimpse of a man wearing a loopy grin.

  “Mr. Darcy, do you have any questions?” the doctor asked.

  Reluctantly, he tore his eyes away from his children’s fuzzy shapes. He cleared his throat and began. He wanted exact details about how much Elizabeth should eat daily, how much protein and so forth. After the doctor answered the question, he had more. And then more.

  “William, I’m sure I can answer some of these questions for you. I’m a doctor too, you know,” Elizabeth interrupted at one point. “There are other patients waiting.”

  Ignoring his fiancée, Darcy took another breath. “I want to know the exact steps involved in your office’s sterilization procedure. I want a new set of equipment ordered and used solely for her visits. I want everything to be properly sterilized and unopened in their sterilized packaging before each of her visits. I will be inspecting each piece of equipment for the integrity of sterilization before I allow it to be used. Furthermore…” From the doctor’s stunned expression, he figured his demands were not ordinary, perhaps even unreasonable, but he didn’t care. “I will, of course, pay for the expenses of your office carrying out my requests.”

  “Requests?” Elizabeth touched his arm. “You mean impossible mandates. These are all unnecessary costs, William.”

  “Your health and safety are…” he stopped. Elizabeth had just opened her gown to get dressed. The sound of a door closing stirred him. He turned to find the doctor had disappeared. “Where did she go? I wasn’t done. I want to talk about her office procedures with contaminated office equipment some more.”

  “You can talk to me.” Elizabeth pushed him out of the room. “I’m an infectious disease specialist. I may know a thing or two about contaminated equipment.”

  Walking through the hallway, he slowed his steps to assess the cleanliness of everything. Elizabeth nudged him to catch his attention. She glanced down at his groin and whispered, “Did you know that one swab of my saliva can sterilize a certain piece of equipment particularly well? I haven’t given you my special welcome home treat yet.”

  He barely let her enter their hotel suite before he had both their clothes off. With trembling hands, he touched her all over. She was just as frantic in her response to him, though she stopped his head descending toward her chest and tried to lead him toward the bedroom. He allowed her a couple steps before he stopped and pressed his face to her back.

  “I can’t wait,” he whispered to the spot right between her shoulder blades then he bent her over the back of a soft armchair. He tried to be gentle at first. Yet, as soon as he was deep inside her, fear unleashed in him and he thrust blindly. Minutes later, harsh spasms coursed through his body and he shattered with unwelcome release.

  Mortified, he immediately pulled himself from her. He tried to open his mouth to apologize for forgetting her, for losing control, for being fearful, but he could not breathe. His throat had closed up.

  She held him and murmured soft soothing sounds until, gradually, the shaking lessened and his breathing lightened. He obediently followed when she led him into the bed and made him lie down, on top of the covers. Though the chilled air whipped at his naked body, he lay still and stared unseeingly at the ceiling and listened to the sound of her turning on the sink in the bathroom. When she returned to him, she carried a small towel. Gently, she cleansed him.

  He whispered, “I’m sorry.”

  She shushed his apology and lay on top of him, as if by covering his body with hers, she meant to protect him with her softness and warmth. He wanted to protest that he was supposed to be the one doing the protecting. After all, he ran a business empire and was head of a world-renowned charitable foundation. But he didn’t. Instead, he began to talk.

  He told her he feared for her and their babies. He told her all the grief he had kept inside since the day his mother died, when he stood in that hospital, holding his baby sister and listening to the doctor tell him some virulent bacteria had taken over her body and her blood. He told of the comfort he had since found in controlling his external environment. He told her of how afraid he was of living at times, and how he despaired of ever having a normal life. He told her it terrified him, the possibility that this normalcy—of becoming a husband and a father soon—would all disappear and he would be left with darkness again.<
br />
  She buried her face in the curve of his neck and kept silent. Occasionally, when the words became stuck in his throat, he would feel the lightest pressure of her lips against his neck, next to his Adam’s apple. Unstuck, the words would come forth again.

  Surprisingly, after unburdening himself, he felt full—not emptied as he had expected. His pain had been a part of him for so long that he had dreaded the void left behind if he let go. He talked until there was nothing left unsaid of his grief and fear, and in doing so, the jumbled, jagged pieces inside him smoothed themselves into their rightful places. He felt whole again.

  ***

  The sound of knocking woke him.

  “Elizabeth?” he called out, trying not to panic at the empty room.

  “I’m here.” Her head appeared briefly through the doorway. “Room service knocking. I ordered some food.”

  When he joined her, she already had started eating.

  “Sorry, couldn’t wait,” she said with her mouth full. “I was starving. Your children are hungry.”

  “Nothing I ate in Chicago tasted as good as this meal,” he said to her when he finished his dinner.

  “Simple pasta, with the sauce on the side, just the way you like it. Speaking of your food preferences, I can’t believe my dad. Did his fountain pen really just explode on your face by itself?”

  “Yes. I’ve told you. He wasn’t near me.”

  “Of course he wasn’t. He had rigged it to explode on you when you used it. What possessed you to listen to him and write a list when you know he was just messing with you?”

  “Because, as your father, he needed to and has the right to mess with me. And I wanted to give him the satisfaction of doing so.”

  “I’ll never understand a man’s logic.”

  “You don’t need to.” He smiled. When she yawned, he added, “Let’s get you to bed.”

  Once in bed, he reached for her, his intention obvious. “I believe I have a debt to pay.”

  She stilled his eager hands. “Remember, I have plans for you and your equipment. Lie down and close your eyes.”