by Cindi Madsen
Chapter Fourteen
Just because Brendan and I were only friends and I wasn’t going to do anything to compromise that didn’t mean I couldn’t look nice for our not-date. I hadn’t been to anything besides a wedding in a long time, and that was when I was also working my butt off, so it hardly counted. Even when Grant and I were engaged, we were mostly homebodies. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen a movie on the big screen.
So that’s why I put on my distressed jeans, fitted white top with the sheer lacey overlay, and five-inch hot-pink peep-toe heels with lips that matched. Not because I was looking for a fling with my buddy ol’ pal roommate, but because it was nice to dress up and remember that I could pull myself together pretty nicely when it came down to it.
Man, these shoes pinch the toes. They’d always been on the tight side, but hey, beauty’s pain, right? How many times had I told my brides to suck it up and deal with the uncomfortableness for a few hours—I said it nicer than that of course, but it was the same basic principle. I’d be sitting through the movie anyway.
Thanks to the email I’d gotten a few minutes after arriving back home—the one detailing how and where to complete my anger management course—I knew this was going to be my last night out for a while, too. Besides logging hours for it and all my upcoming consults and weddings, I was going to hardly have time for pesky things like sleep and eating. Being gone all the time should help keep my lust feelings in check, though, so there was my silver lining. Magical, I know.
My heels clacked against the hardwood floors until I hit the large rug in the living room. Cupid ran up to me and flopped on my feet, which meant stop everything and pet me if you ever want to move again. I obliged, scratching him under the chin like he liked.
Footsteps sounded behind me and I stood and turned around.
“Whoa,” Brendan said, running his gaze over me. My heart skipped a couple of what-a-nice-friend-I-have beats. But speaking of whoa, he was dressed in jeans and a vintage T-shirt that showed off his toned chest and arms. He looked good when he dressed up for work, but there was something about the dressed-down look that was making me silently repeat drive-through wedding and McDonald’s burger again and again.
“You’re all dolled up,” he said.
“You’re all dolled down,” I said. Like a genius with words, I am. “I mean, you look nice out of a suit. Casual. Not that the suit’s not a good look for you.” Omigosh, stop talking. “Uh, ready?”
He nodded and put his hand on my back. I might’ve leaned into it slightly, my body reacting before my brain, but I made sure to straighten right away.
Once we were in his truck, everything went back to normal—easy, fun, joking and talking without me thinking about kissing him. Until I had that thought and accidentally homed in on his lips.
Focus, Dakota. “So, we never finished this morning’s conversation. Either you’re violently opposed to engagement, or you had a disaster with a girl.”
“Disasters,” Brendan said. “But the last one was pretty set on marriage. She started dropping hints six months in. I liked her, but I wasn’t even close to thinking about settling down. Then she decided to start asking when we were going to get married. She told me she expected a ring for her birthday.”
“I’ve had a couple grooms like you. Dragged there by sheer force of the girl. It never goes well, even if the guy does go through with the wedding.” I glanced out the window. I wondered if that was how Grant had felt. Though he was the one who first brought it up. Living together. Marriage. Starting a family someday. And then he’d proposed, surprising me one night with the question and the ring. But maybe he thought it was what I wanted, and at the time, it was. I ran my fingers along the armrest of the door. “So what happened when she didn’t get a ring for her birthday?”
“Before we even got to that point, I told her I wasn’t looking to get hitched. Things went downhill pretty quickly and there was a big ugly breakup. I met her at work, too, so we were still forced to see each other all the time and it was awful. It was one reason why I jumped at the job here.”
“So was it just the girl, or are you one of those people who is violently opposed to marriage?”
“I wouldn’t say violently…” Brendan shrugged. “Never thought much about it. Guess I figured it was something way in the future. Like way, way future.”
Since it was all I thought about—not so much mine, but when it’s surrounding you, it’s impossible not to get a couple ideas—that seemed a bit crazy. But I supposed most guys didn’t stay up late talking about fairy-tale weddings and finding the perfect dress. Or tux, as it were.
“Every relationship I’ve been in has felt suffocating,” Brendan said. “Never-ending calls all day long to ‘check in’ or ask where I’m at and what I’m doing. Being told I never take anything seriously, and feelings hurt so damn easily that I start to feel like a jackass even when I was sure I wasn’t being one. I feel exhausted just thinking about it.”
“Yeah, relationships. Pfft. Who needs them? It’s all just a big show with the couple looking happy from the outside in, anyway—hell, maybe they even believe it. But then they go home and spend their nights bickering about what to do or what to watch on TV. Even the littlest thing can turn into a battle.” I wasn’t exactly sure where that’d come from. I supposed I’d thought about it lately as I’d looked at couples, wondering if anyone was really happy. Grant and I had spent plenty of nights arguing over the remote, and there were a lot of things we didn’t agree on, but I wouldn’t have called us unhappy—I did suffer through a lot of documentaries, though, and he never watched what I wanted. And once in a while he’d zone out when I went over our schedules, but I knew he wasn’t as crazy about his to-do list as I was, even though he asked me to keep his in order and then acted like I was inconveniencing him when I was inputting it for him. Maybe I’d been wrong all these years, and everyone who avoided serious commitments had it right. Life was certainly less complicated.
“If I had a drink, I’d raise a toast to no relationships,” I said. “And I’m feeling rather anti-marriage as well.”
“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’d had a drink.” Brendan pulled into the parking lot of the shopping strip with the theater. “I wasn’t saying…” He exhaled. “I’m not opposed to all relationships. But no matter how much I cared about a woman, I’d never let her force me into an engagement to make her happy. When I think about how hard relationships are, and the commitment it’d take to add the ‘till death do us part’ in the mix, I’ll admit it makes me wanna run in the other direction. That doesn’t mean I’m some player who’s against being faithful to one woman, though. There are definitely nice parts of being in a relationship…”
The temperature in the car rose a couple degrees as his brown eyes bored into me, and my breath caught in my throat for reasons I couldn’t explain, and honestly, didn’t want to delve too far into.
“Now…” He patted my thigh. “Let’s go watch zombies!”
“Well, one thing’s for sure. Your commitment to blood and guts is certainly impressive.”
He laughed and then got out of the truck. As we walked past the shops, I was pretty sure I heard my name called. When I glanced around, I spotted a girl waving at me. She was in the Adler/Friedman wedding. Angular cheekbones. “Hey, Angie.”
“Hi,” she said as she made her way over to me. “Guess what?” She thrust her hand in front of my face. “I’m engaged!”
“Congratulations!”
“I’ve been meaning to call you. I’m not sure how much I can afford, but I needed help finding caterers and a location, and I wasn’t sure if that was something you’d do if I didn’t have you there at the wedding?”
“Sure.” I pulled a card out of my purse and handed it to her. “Give me a call and we can discuss pricing options and how involved you want me to be. I can just consult on setup if that’s all that’s needed.”
“I’ve been reading your columns, too. I was
so excited for you after your last one, then I read in the paper that you didn’t get married. I’m so sorry.”
The plastic smile I was starting to pull out in times like these automatically formed itself across my lips. I was also remembering why I didn’t go out much. Between Grant and me, it sometimes felt like we knew the entire city. “It’s fine. For the best, really.”
“Well, it looks like you’re doing all right to me.” Angie’s gaze moved to Brendan, then she flashed me a thumbs-up I was sure she thought was covert but was quite the opposite.
“Actually, Brendan’s just a friend.” I looped my arm through his, needing his support to continue the everything’s-so-amazing ruse. “I’ve known him forever.”
Brendan tugged on our intertwined arms, jostling me into him and making me stumble on my heels. “Feels like longer sometimes.” He shot me a goofy smile when I glanced up at his face, and I couldn’t help giggling.
“An eternity, really.”
“Like pre-birth.”
At this point, the lines in Angie’s forehead became more pronounced, so I decided it was time to bring the conversation back from the weird but funny path it had strayed down. “So congrats again on the engagement, and give me a call. It was really good bumping into you.”
“Yeah, you, too,” she said, though it sounded kind of like I’m never calling you now, you weirdo.
“You’re great for business, you know that?” I said to Brendan once she was gone. We started toward the theater again, but a familiar figure caught my attention. I thought I must just be seeing things, but there, waiting to get into our favorite fancy Chinese restaurant, was Grant, and he wasn’t alone. A beautiful blond woman stood across from him, and I could tell from her face she was smitten, though I couldn’t see Grant’s to try to gauge if the feelings were mutual.
My feet were still in motion, and my shoe slipped on something wet. I automatically clamped on to Brendan’s arm to keep from falling and my ankle folded under me. I was pretty proud of myself for not landing on my butt, and would’ve continued the celebration of my awesomeness had I not tried to step down on the foot that’d been twisted and experienced shooting pain all the way from ankle to knee.
“You okay?” Brendan asked.
“Just go,” I whispered, limping toward the corridor that would block me from being spotted by Grant at least. When we were safely out of sight, I wiggled my ankle around, grimacing when it caught again and again. Of all the stupid, embarrassing things. “I’m fine,” I said at Brendan’s raised eyebrows, but trying to put weight on it made me let loose a string of swear words. I crouched down, weight leaning on my left foot.
“Yeah, you’re fine. Obviously.” He squatted to examine my ankle, as if he’d be able to tell what was wrong by seeing it. I didn’t need to see it to know it was at least sprained. He ran his fingers across where it had folded wrong, the ache inside at odds with the careful brush of his fingertips. “If you weren’t wearing these crazy-tall heels…”
My mouth dropped and I patted my shoes. “There, there, he didn’t mean it. It was whoever spilled the drink on the floor’s fault. Not yours.”
Brendan’s mouth kicked up on one side. “I didn’t realize you’d injured your head, too.”
I smacked his arm. “Why do I bother hanging out with you again?”
“Because you don’t have many other options.”
“Oh, that’s right.”
“And then there’s the fact that you’ve known me for an ‘eternity.’ Come on, let’s get you home.” Brendan grabbed my hand, glided me to standing, and had his arm around my waist in one smooth transition.
“Not home. We have a zombie movie to see.”
“You can’t walk.”
I dared a glance toward the restaurant and could just see the back of Grant’s head. Everything inside me, from my lungs to my stomach, felt heavy and wrong. Was he dating again? Had he given up on me? Did I want him to? So many confusing emotions swirled through me, but the one thing I knew for sure was there was no way I was limping back past him and the blonde. “Sure I can.” Brendan hesitated, and I saw my opening. “At home I’d just be sitting anyway. Here I’ll be sitting, but with a movie. And popcorn. Can’t you smell it?” The buttery, salty scent filled the air. “By the time it’s over, my ankle will totally be better. I’m sure of it.”
Brendan glanced the way we came, then the few feet it’d take to get to the theater. “I’m carrying you inside, then.”
“No way. I’ll just take off my shoes.” I eyed the floor, thinking of all the germs waiting to seep into my feet. Why hadn’t I worn socks? I mean, the eighties were back, so while we were resurrecting ugly styles, I might as well rock the socks with heels, too.
Brendan turned his back to me. “Hop on.”
My options were now a piggyback ride or being carried like a damsel in distress past my ex-fiancé and the woman he was possibly moving on with. Really, there wasn’t any option. I jumped on Brendan’s back. Of course I got the giggles, and they only got worse when everyone stared at us. “If we see anyone I know, I’ll die twice.”
“Just like a zombie,” Brendan added. After we got the tickets—earning more strange looks—he ordered popcorn, soda, and an extra cup of ice. Somehow, we managed to get it all inside the theater.
He gently lowered me into a seat and took the one next to me. Then he pulled my foot onto his lap and rested the cup of ice on my swelling ankle. Brendan made a couple of jokes and comments about the previews, and the ickiness over the Grant incident faded into the background. After a few handfuls of popcorn and a long pull on my soda, life seemed pretty good, despite the throbbing in my ankle. I watched the lights flicker across Brendan’s features. Who else would piggyback me through a theater and make sure I had ice for my ankle?
As the movie progressed, Brendan leaned over, the ice in place, his other hand hooked on my knee. He tapped his fingers, and every beat sent a zip of electricity up my leg.
Onscreen, zombies were biting people, the gory, thick sounds of beheading and guts splattering filling the air.
But all I could focus on was the contact. And how the guy I’d known forever was making me feel things I’d never felt before.
Chapter Fifteen
“Is there something you wanna tell me?” Grant asked as he stood across from my desk.
My brain was still trying to catch up to the way he’d barged unexpectedly into my office, and now he had his arms crossed like he was waiting for me to confess. And suddenly I felt like blurting out, Okay, you caught me! I had thoughts about another man!
Part of me believed I was moving on so well that I wouldn’t want him anymore, but as I stared at him, old feelings rose to the surface. My heart tugged, and I probably would’ve stood and drifted closer to him out of habit if my ankle wasn’t throbbing. I was rocking ballet flats today, and I’d argued with Brendan for a good ten minutes when he’d insisted I should wear my sneakers. He didn’t seem to care that it was a fashion no-no.
“I thought you were still considering us,” Grant said. “That’s what you told me, and I’ve been sitting around, just waiting for when you were ready.”
“I was. I am. I’m a little lost, honestly. What’s going on?”
“The paper? Phoebe’s column?”
My stomach dropped. I quickly turned to my computer, opened up the Beacon’s website, and scanned down to the social column.
According to a source, our very own Dakota Halifax has already bounced back into the dating scene. Runaway grooms need not apply. Not sure if the man she was with last night was her one and only or the first of many, but looks like nothing can keep a good wedding planner down. Will she make another attempt down the aisle? And if so, how soon will it be?
So few words, yet they caused so, so much irritation. On the bright side, there was no mention of piggyback rides, and she did at least call me a good wedding planner. On the dark side, which I was pretty sure was where Phoebe’s allegiance lay, it made it
sound like I was about to embark on a dating spree. And that my only goal was another wedding.
“You believe this?” I gestured to the screen.
“Who is he?” The vein in Grant’s forehead stood out. “Is this why you wanted space? To date?”
Knowing he was seconds from losing it, I worked to keep my voice calm instead of yelling back. “I was out last night. Went to the movies at our usual stomping grounds, actually.” I waited to see if he wanted to confess, since he was so set on making me. He didn’t say anything, so I went on with mine. “I was out with a friend. Not a date. Just two roommates who wanted to see a zombie flick.”
“Roommates? I thought you were staying with Jillian?”
Shit. I meant to break my new living situation another way—I knew he’d hate it, and since it involved another guy, I also knew he’d overreact. “Look, this falls under my business, but like I said, I went to a movie with a friend, who happens to be male and is my new roommate. End of story.”
His eyes narrowed. “So nothing’s going on?”
Although my emotions were a bit confused around Brendan, we weren’t even close to dating. “We’re just friends.”
“I don’t like it.”
“You don’t have to. But while we’re on the subject, what about you? Are you dating?”
The anger faded from his expression, replaced with something softer, and apprehension crawled across my skin. I wasn’t sure I was ready to hear about the new woman in his life. “Funny enough, I was out last night, too. I met with Amy and Jaden—my son. You should see him, Dakota. He’s smart and funny, and he’s got my eyes and dark hair. I was nervous at first, but now that I’ve spent a little time with him… It’s amazing. He’s amazing.”
I’d seen the woman, but I hadn’t seen a little boy. I tried to remember the scene, but I’d been focused on her, on the way she looked at Grant. From the sounds of it, though, his focus had been on his son.