by Bijou Hunter
"I'm a waffle guy," I say when Bebe gives me her pouty look. "Don't know why they taste so much better than pancakes. I think they make it all out of the same shit."
Bebe doesn't like that I bought her kid a cupcake cup. Even if it only cost three bucks, her panties are in a bunch. She ain't mad at me, just sad at how she doesn't have three dollars to piss away on a silly cup. I should ignore her depressed eyes, but her unhappiness makes my stomach hurt.
"You like pancakes?" I ask Lula who sucks milk through the pink straw of her cup.
The little girl nods then looks at her cup. I'm Santa Claus for buying the damn thing. I wish her mom was so easy to please.
"We can stop by the store and get groceries," I say, digging into my waffles.
Once Bebe finishes helping Lula with her food, she looks at me. Feels good when her gaze is focused on my face. She doesn't just look. She dissects, memorizes, and owns what she sees. I give her a grin, and she finally shares it.
"Can we go to Darby's and pick up the rest of our stuff?"
"Naw. I mean, you can take my SUV and go. I need to get some guys to come over and see about painting the kid's room."
"Are you going to pick the paint color?"
"I thought you said she likes pink."
"She does, but there is more than one kind of F U C K I N G pink. Like there's bright Pepto-Bismol pink and light pink and lots of in-the-middle pink."
"You're real pretty when you spell like that."
Bebe rolls her eyes before grimacing in pain. "Ugh, Darby told me to put ice on my eye, and I didn't. I'm paying the price now."
Lula stands up and kisses her mom's face. "Feel better?"
"Yes, baby."
Watching them, I feel a little left out. Same way as when Ford and Shay goof around. They're a part of something, and I'm on the outside. Loner isn't a part I want to play. I was always half of a duo, and now I stand alone.
"What's wrong?" Bebe asks when I glare at her for too long.
"Nothing."
"Are you changing your mind about us moving in with you?"
"No. I don't change my mind so willy-fucking-nilly. I'm not a girl."
Bebe narrows her eyes at me then grimaces again. "You're in a B I T C H mood now."
I glance at Lula eating her food again. She looks so little holding the fork and shoving pancake chunks into her mouth. I think about when I was that little. Would I want to live with a club killer?
"Can I get you folks anything?" the waitress asks.
I focus my gaze on her and smile really big. Chicks like when I smile. They say it makes them hard and soft at the same time.
"No, we're okay. Thank you for your fine service," I say, taking her hand.
The waitress flushes bright red and smiles sweetly for me. When I let go of her hand, she hurries away, only peeking back at me once.
I turn back to Bebe, who sighs. "I swear you're a lame M U T H E R F U C K E R.
"How do you figure?" I ask, gulping my coffee. "Don't tell me you're jealous of the pretty waitress."
Bebe leans forward. "She thinks you're a S C U M B A G who is flirting with her in front of your kid and woman. A woman that you beat up. I bet she's in the kitchen talking about what a L O S E R you are."
"What do I care if she's saying that shit? It ain't true."
"Yeah, but stop acting like you're smooth."
"Oh, I am. One day, you'll learn just how smooth."
"Probably," she says, startling me. "I have a bad habit of making S T U P I D F U C K I N G choices. You'll just be another one."
Lula finishes her milk, so I wave over the waitress and ask for a refill. "Tell me something," I say before she can leave. "Do you think that kid looks like me?"
"No, not really," she mumbles, clearly nervous. "She looks like her mom."
"She has a hairy dad," I announce.
Bebe kicks me under the table and gives me the dirtiest look. While I laugh, the waitress makes a beeline for the kitchen. Lula glances between her frowning mom and me laughing.
"My dad," she whispers and picks up her fork again.
"Don't worry, kid. You're real pretty like your mommy."
After Lula smiles at me, I focus my gaze on Bebe.
"Don't be so mad. It's not like she's a hairy monkey like her pop."
"Stop F U C K I N G talking."
"Well, you ain't talking, and I don't like sitting in silence. Feels like I'm in church or school or some shit."
Bebe kicks me again, and I figure she's mad about me cussing. If she plans on kicking me every time I use profanity, my leg will fall off before the end of the week.
"Why do you get so pissy with me?"
Bebe shrugs. "You P I S S me off."
"Because my sexiness is too distracting?"
Laughing, Bebe clearly hates herself for falling for my teasing. She sighs and caresses the back of Lula's head.
"I was hoping you'd be the one who came for us," she says in a soft voice. "I knew Darby and Jenn would send someone to help. I figured you might wait until Ford got back. I also thought Lucky might come. I'm glad it was you."
Her voice gives me goosebumps. Then she pats my hand, and my cock goes rock hard. Even with her busted eye, Bebe is one fine-looking woman, and she's getting me riled up.
What the hell have I gotten myself into with this living situation?
5
Bebe
Advice from the Rockabilly Heroine
Darby's house always reminds me of a dollhouse. She lives in a neighborhood dating back to the 1940s and 1950s. Pax's area was obviously designed in the 1980s. The ugly green exteriors are a dead giveaway.
As much as I like Darby's place, space has become an issue. With me moving out, Perri and Flora will have more room for their kids, and Darby might not trip over toys so much. I think this plan sounds solid, but Darby disagrees.
"If you take more of your stuff to his place, he'll think you're staying."
"I think I am," I say, washing out the cupcake cup then filling it with juice.
My daughter loves her cup. She hasn't let go of it since breakfast and refuses to drink from anything else. As soon as we walk into the house, Lula shows it to Darby. The little girl is already living a dream, and I refuse to take it away from her.
Once Lula walks into the living room to sit with the other kids, I force my gaze on Darby.
"Pax has been sweet to Lula."
"Of course he has. He likes kids. Relates to them because of his low IQ." My frown makes her laugh. "Don't be so sensitive. The man can defend himself. He doesn't need you getting wrinkles over him."
Sitting with her at the kitchen table, I tap my fingers. "It's crowded here."
"Ungrateful already?"
I start to defend myself then realize she's teasing. "Flora and Perri need your help more than I do. You're saving them and giving their kids a chance. I wish my mom had known a woman like you. Things might have turned out a lot different."
"It's true that I'm a heroic figure," Darby says without missing a beat. "No arguing about that, but I worry about you and Pax living together. He's complicated."
Nodding, I think about Pax trying to make me jealous at breakfast. His eyes gave away his entire plan. I considered calling him out on it but let it go. I'd rather just tease him on not knowing women rather than get into a conversation about what might happen with us living in the same house.
"He has the most beautiful blue eyes," I say without thinking. When Darby gives me a disapproving look, I shrug. "He does."
"Yeah, he's plenty pretty. You're not wrong about his looks. Pax is more than pretty though. He's dangerous and selfish and immature. I say this as someone who likes him, but I like him as a friend. Not even a close friend, but someone who enjoys his company."
"That's all I am." Darby sighs in a way that makes me mad. "I'm not a child."
"You are young, Bebe. You've only had that one shithead lover. You wouldn't take me up on those offers to date a few nice gu
ys. Now you're living with a man you're attracted to."
"I've seen him a lot the last few months."
"Now you'll see him every day. He'll look at you with those pretty eyes. He'll walk around shirtless, I'm sure. Pax will be nice to Lula. He'll buy you stuff. When he makes a move, you'll think it means more than it does. Oh, and the sex will be great. I've heard things, and Pax is enthusiastic," she says, giving me a wink.
We pause while the kids run through the kitchen and out the back door. Lula stops to look at me for permission. Once I nod, she's out the door.
"Maybe you'll tell yourself it doesn't matter," Darby continues. "It's just sex and you want to feel good. Why not have a little fun? Except sooner or later, he'll bring another girl around, and you'll feel like shit. You'll be jealous and pissed and start arguments with him. He'll throw a fit since he lacks the maturity to handle the situation like a man. He'll kick you out, and you'll feel worse since Lula will need to move again."
"Or maybe I can be smart enough not to sleep with him."
"Won't happen. Trust me. I'm speaking from experience," Darby says then leans back. "After Joker and I got divorced, we still had a lot of heat between us. We made a deal to have fun but not expect to get back together. Sounded great, and the sex felt great, but he was out dating for real. I couldn't have him back, but sharing him didn't interest me either. I got so jealous that I trashed one chick's car. I was out of control, but I blame Jenn. She was a bad influence back then because of her pregnancy hormones. She kept egging me on."
Darby waves her hand as if to erase the memories. "You can't play and not get attached. Pax can."
"Why couldn't you and Joker get back together if you still had all those feelings?"
"Don't change the subject. Joker and I are old news. You and Pax are not."
"Well I don't know what to do. Lula is already getting excited about having a princess room."
"Between you and me, I think the living situation isn't bad. He has a house too big for him. The top floor is just perfect for you and Lula. The yard is nice too. I always thought that house didn't make sense for two single men, but they liked it."
"So I should stay with him, but not have sex with him?"
"Oh, you'll have sex with him."
Frowning, I sag in the chair. "I don't get what you're telling me to do."
"I'm not sure either. I guess you should accept you can't keep Pax. You live there and you'll eventually sleep with him. You'll know he's gonna run the streets with other women, so you just decide to bite your tongue when those jealous feelings tell you to destroy a bitch's car."
Darby pours herself a fresh cup of coffee. "Don't worry about Jenn. She's done having kids, but Shay might be pregnant soon. That girl might be a hormonal troublemaker. Hard to tell. I was mellow when I was pregnant, while Jenn wanted to start fights. Lupe cleaned everyone's houses. Amanda was the best though. She got so paranoid that we tormented her constantly about people talking shit behind her back. I almost feel guilty for messing with her so much."
Darby doesn't look like she feels bad. In fact, she laughs before glancing out back at the kids.
"Pax might not be a man who can commit, but he'll keep you safe. The guy will burn down the world to protect those he cares about. He's loyal in that way. As roomies go, you could do worse."
I imagine Pax with another woman, and jealousy instantly burns in my gut. He's never even kissed me, yet I feel like he's already mine. Despite the grave I'm digging myself, I refuse to give up the chance for Lula to have a room of her own. Not after I spent my childhood wishing for one too.
"Darby," Joker calls out from the front door. "Are you decent?"
"As much as I'll ever be," she says, turning away from the back door.
Joker enters the kitchen, and I smile awkwardly. Even after staying with Darby for the last few months, I've never gotten comfortable around the club guys. I always feel small around them, especially their Vice President.
"Hey, Bebe," he says, taking the coffee Darby hands him. "We'll handle your problem when Ford's back in town and make sure you'll never run into them again."
"You'll deal with Lula's father too, right?" Darby asks, and Joker gives her a nod.
"Pax and Ford are good at dealing with these sorts of problems. Them and their bats."
I stop picturing Pax in various stages of undress and imagine him hurting Taz and his kiddie followers. No, hurting isn't a strong enough word for what will happen. The Reed brothers are enforcers, and I know that's just code for killers. They'll destroy Taz and everyone in his organization to make an example of someone who messes with the club.
I find this image oddly fucking reassuring.
6
Pax
I'm No Pity Fuck
Lula is a cute kid, but I can't pretend I don't hate her name. A dumb girl name doesn't belong on a smart kid like her. She likes to see the words on the TV when we watch a movie. Seems weird, but I guess that means she likes reading.
Lying on the floor, Lula holds her chin in her hands while her feet swing back and forth. She's resting next to Folgers and watching Finding Nemo. I dig the movie since it's funny for a kid's flick and there's no damn singing.
Sitting on the other end of the couch, Bebe occasionally peeks at me through her hair. I refuse to peek. Without any hinting, I check out her tits in the pink tee she's wearing. I fight the urge to lean over and smell her damp hair. No, I want to do more than sniff her. I'm not a damn dog. I want to nuzzle my face in her hair and slide my hands under her shirt and…
"Do you think we could get a tree?" she asks, waking me from my thoughts.
Lula sits up and looks at us. She's always listening even when she's not. Yeah, fooling around with Bebe ain't happening with Lula still up.
"Sure. I don't have any decorations, but that's what stores are for."
"You and Ford never get a Christmas tree?"
"No. We get up at noon on Christmas and play dodgeball with our gifts. Afterwards, we go to Denny's and eat turkey. It's a tradition that's sadly been ruined by Shay's hypnotic pussy."
Bebe frowns at my wording then focuses on Lula still looking at us.
"We'll get a tree next week," she tells the kid. "Ooh, here comes the part you like. What does Dory say?"
When Lula smiles real big, she looks exactly like Bebe. "Just keep swimming."
While the kid turns around and watches the movie, I eye Bebe. "Do you get a tree every year?"
"Not a big tree. Last year, we got a little tree for like ten dollars."
"Were you always poor?"
Bebe shrugs. "There was a time when Mom got us into a tiny apartment in a nice area. We went to a good school, but someone ratted us out since we were three people in a studio. We got kicked out and ended up in a decent townhouse in a bad neighborhood. That lasted for a while. So I was poor, but not like I am now."
"You need a better job."
"Darby was talking about getting me a job waitressing at the Suede."
"No," I say instantly.
Frowning at me, Bebe keeps talking. "I tried waitressing once, and I wasn't very good at it. Got flustered, but the money would be better. Darby said she would watch Lula while I work, but…"
"No."
"Why? Do you not want me in your special place?" she teases.
"The chicks working there are sluts. They make good tips because they suck off guys in the back…"
Bebe smacks me and points at Lula. The kid isn't paying attention to us for once. She's now sitting cross-legged about an inch from the TV.
"Yeah, you should be thinking about her. Does she want a whore mom?"
"You're a D I C K."
"My D I C K is big enough to know things, yeah."
Bebe crosses her arms so her tits jut out. I dig the view but suspect she might be playing me.
"I'd like to make more money. I only get minimum wage at the hotel, and it's not like I'll get promoted. The head housekeeper is in her forties. No way will
she retire for another twenty years."
"You're living here rent free. I'd think your money will go farther."
Bebe stops propping up her tits and studies me. "What will it cost me to live here?"
"Your sanity."
"Funny," she says, grinning. "I'll help with utilities."
"No."
"So I pay for my food and personal expenses and that's it?"
"No."
When Bebe laughs, I finally give in and look at her. She's so damn sexy in that shirt, and I'm fucking certain she's playing me.
"I'll pay for your food. That way you can save up and not worry so much about money."
"Doesn't seem fair."
"No, it doesn't."
"You want something."
"Lots of something," I say, looking at her tits. "And in many positions."
"So instead of F U C K I N G guys at Suede, I'll F U C K you, huh?"
Giving her a lazy grin, I shrug. "I'm better at it."
"Do I have to do it tonight, or can we wait until I know you won't bail on your promises to…?"
Bebe gestures towards Lula bouncing in excitement at what she's watching.
"I'm not bailing shit."
"Would it kill you to F U C K I N G spell your cuss words?"
"Yeah, probably. I can't spell for S H I T. Sorry, but I hated school, and the teachers all hated me. Well, not the one young teacher in high school. Yeah, she wanted to fuck me. I could tell. Women are obvious."
"Sorry we're not as subtle as you."
Grinning, I take her hand in mine. "I won't make your kid sad. Nothing worse than a crying baby."
Bebe studies her daughter then sighs. "I don't want her to get used to nice things then have them torn away."
"It's not so bad. I mean, better to have something for a short time than nothing all the time."
"I guess."
"When I was growing up, Child Services would take us to a foster home. The place was usually pretty nice, and we'd have a normal life. Then Mom would follow some rules set up by a judge, and Child Services would give us back to her. We'd end up in a shitty apartment while she worked a shitty job. The schools always sucked, and we didn't eat some nights. Eventually, Child Services took us away again, and we'd end up in another foster family since the last one didn't have room. It went on for years until Mom stopped pretending she wanted us back. After that, Ford and I got a real home for the rest of high school. Sure, it sucked moving back and forth, but it was still better than being with Mom the whole time." I pause, realizing Bebe is watching me in a tender way like I'm a charity case. "That's how I saw it anyway. Maybe your kid is different."