by Bijou Hunter
With the youngest kids joining us, we skip the alcoholic drinks and get buzzed on funny stories. Darby razzes Jenn about being a high school slut. Jenn mocks Lupe's horrible English. Lupe sings a soft, tender Spanish song. Based on the Hispanic waiter's horrified expression, I suspect the lyrics involve violent threats.
Despite all the laughter and teasing, a melancholy hangs over our lunch. Will this meal be our last time all together? Christmas is two weeks away, and a few of the guys are sending their families out of town to "visit the relatives" before the holiday. Jenn is one of the women leaving early. Amanda and Darby plan to disappear with the kids late on Christmas day. I'm not worried about the leaving part, but whether we'll get to return.
When the kids get cranky around one thirty, we pay the bill and head into the cold afternoon. Tallulah bounces to an internal tune. Probably Keep Your Hands to Yourself since Pax loves the Georgia Satellite's song. I focus on her happy face and think about the man who stole both our hearts.
Once again, my shitty instincts don't kick in until after the first shot shatters a nearby window. Up ahead behind a car, Darby is already crouched with Haley. I don't have time to see where anyone else is before the gun changes from a single shot to rapid-fire.
Grabbing Tallulah, I hide behind a car, but windows shatter around us. Moving again, I try to retreat. Tallulah is crying, but she holds on tight while I hurry back to the restaurant. People are screaming and running both towards and away from me. I don't know if I'm right to return to the restaurant. Inside just feels safer, so I keep running.
A bullet tears through my jacket, grazing my skin. Even panicking at the thought of Tallulah being shot, I don't stop running. We didn't park too far from the restaurant, yet I'm dodging people and cars. No matter how fast I run, I can't seem to get away.
A car backs out as I run past it. Throwing me backwards, I land sideways. The car speeds away, barely missing Tallulah and me on the ground.
Stunned and in pain, I know I need to keep moving. I will find a safe place. I will not let Tallulah die.
Crawling now, I drag a whimpering Tallulah until we reach a parked car. My hip feels like it weighs a million pounds after the impact. Nothing's broken, and I just need to catch my breath.
Around me, everyone is still running in every direction. I realize more than one shooter is firing. No way will I reach the restaurant when I'm stuck in the crossfire.
"Mom," Tallulah whimpers
Her voice startles me, and I wonder how long I was staring at the screaming people. Seeing Tallulah's head bloodied, I check over her body for wounds. She hasn't been shot, but her arm hangs. I suspect she broke it when we fell.
Panicking, I'm frozen in my spot. What if the car we're hiding behind moves and hits us? What if I run and we're shot? What if I stay and we're shot? What do I do?
The car we're hidden behind is empty, so I push Tallulah beneath the SUV then wiggle under it too. As long as the owner doesn't return, we should be safe. My brain says someone might hit the SUV and we'll be killed. Denying my panic, I refuse to imagine anything except a happy ending. As long as we stay covered until the shooting stops, we'll be fine. Soon, I'll get Tallulah's arm fixed. Yes, everything is okay.
Pressing my scarf against her head, I cuddle my baby in my arms as we shiver on the cold ground.
"Daddy will come soon," I promise her.
Tallulah isn't crying, making me worry she's in shock. I don't know what to do besides talk about Pax.
How he swings with her at the park. How he wants a trampoline so he can jump high enough to touch the moon. How he wants to name the baby Roy. Tallulah stares into my eyes and listens to me rather than the chaos in the parking lot.
At some point, I hear Harleys approaching. Are they friend or foe? All I can do is keep talking.
The gunshots grow louder then fall silent. I don't know what's happening. I hear sirens in the distance, but the screaming people drown out the sounds. Whatever is happening, I hold Tallulah and help her think of her home.
Shivering wildly, I realize the sirens are louder while the screaming quiets. Only then, do I hear Pax yelling my name. His voice sounds so full of rage and fear.
When I tell Tallulah her daddy is here, she only nods. I wish she would cry. Her silence scares me.
Crawling out from under the SUV, I keep Tallulah low to the ground while I scan the parking lot for Pax. He's easy to spot with his size, yet I'm afraid to call out to him as if maybe this is a trap.
Despite my fear, I call out to him. He hears his name, stops, and looks for us. Waving at him, I fear the bad guys will use this moment to shoot me. I can't die right in front of my baby girl. The panic is overwhelming until Pax reaches me.
"It'll be okay," he says as if on autopilot.
Even though the words are lies, I believe them. With Pax here, we'll be safe. Under my fear is another emotion. That part of me knows Pax will get our revenge soon.
45
Pax
Keeping My Cool
We let Zombie get away.
Arriving at the mall, Ford and I enter what sounds like a war zone. Zombie fires from one end of the parking lot with Wino at another. Big Dick's nephew flees first. A car close on his tail, Ginger's people are on the job. Ford and I arrive close to where Zombie is firing. Seeing us, he waves before speeding away.
We have a choice. Chase him or look for our family. Not much of a choice. Hell, I don't even glance at Ford to see what he's thinking. I just know we have to find Bebe, Tallulah, and Shay.
As the fucker escapes, we pull our Harleys into the parking lot. I finally park, unable to deal with the stop and go as cars exit and people run by. Following my lead, Ford leaves his Harley and begins running.
Many people are still hiding. Others are on the ground bloodied. One guy looks dead. I spot Darby kneeling next to someone. Glancing at the injured person's shoes, I know they don't belong to Bebe or Shay, so I keep running.
With the gunfire over, people move around more. Sirens drown out much of the noise, but I keep yelling. Finally, I hear my name and see Bebe waving.
The relief eases a nearly unbearable pressure in my chest. My woman is alive, and I can breathe again. Her expression is too calm for Tallulah to be seriously hurt. Yes, I can breathe a little more now.
Bebe grabs onto me like a drowning woman. "Tallulah's arm is broken."
My little girl stares up at me from near the tire, and I can't pick her up fast enough. Only when they're both in my arms, do I feel truly alive.
With Bebe limping along with me, I carry Tallulah towards the line of ambulances. Shay looks unharmed when we approach her and Ford. She hurries over to check on Bebe.
"I couldn't find you," Shay says. "People were running around, and I couldn't find anyone."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, not even a scratch."
Ford leaves us, and I see him grabbing a paramedic. The guy looks at me holding Tallulah then waves us towards an ambulance.
"Kids get special treatment," I say, sounding like a crazy person.
"I don't know where Darby and Amanda are," Shay mumbles to Bebe. "Jenn was hurt. I saw them put her in an ambulance. Lupe was going with her."
Bebe nods, but I doubt she's really listening. Her focus remains on Tallulah in my arms. The little girl is so quiet until I stick my tongue out at her. She smiles faintly then reaches out to touch my jaw.
The paramedic wants to take her, but I refuse to let her go. Instead, I rest her on the gurney, only moving out of the way when Ford yanks me from the ambulance.
"Let them take her, and we'll follow on the bikes."
I refuse to look away from where Tallulah sits tiny on a big gurney. When the paramedic checks her broken arm, she begins to cry. Bebe comforts her, but I nearly snap at the sound of my kid in pain.
"Pax," Ford says, tugging me away. "You need to focus. As long as Zombie is still out there, this shit isn't over."
Studying my brother, I need him to und
erstand that I don't give a fuck about the club. They're grown men who chose a violent life. Tallulah is innocent, and I can't focus when she's crying.
My brother cups my face. "Zombie has lost control, and he's making a mess. Trigger is off his game now. We have the upper hand and can finish this shit and make Little Memphis safe for our families. We can only do that if you stay focused and play it cool."
I know Ford's eyes better than my own. His strength infects me, calming my panic and rage. I return to the cold enforcer who's kept us alive for so long.
"Are you good?" he asks, and I nod.
Ford tells Shay to go with Bebe to the hospital. We'll follow close behind.
Bebe watches me as the doors shut on the ambulance. The look on her face is the same as the night I retrieved her from Taz's house. On autopilot, she hides her fear behind a mask. After I kill the fuckers who set Zombie loose, Bebe will never have to wear it again.
My mind is cold as steel by the time we arrive at the hospital. I'll get Bebe and Tallulah fixed up then hide them until trouble dies down. The plan is set in my head until I enter the emergency room and realize my plans don't mean shit.
Pushed aside by agitated staff, Ford and I search for a familiar face. We find Bull first.
"Darby and Amanda are already on the run," he says when we move to a quiet corner. "They have Jenn's kids too."
"What about Jenn?" Ford asks.
"I don't know. Lucky freaked out in the waiting room, and someone finally took him back."
"Freaked out how? Screaming or crying?" I ask. "I'm looking to get in the back without pulling my weapon. So what kind of freak-out are we talking about?"
Bull's expression never changes. "I don't think it'll work twice, Homerun."
"Fine. I'll pull a gun."
"Not yet," Madden announces, appearing out of a group of people. "I know you're looking to play family men, but Dad is on his way in. He's on edge, so keep your shit in gear and play along."
Bull opens his mouth to speak then shuts it. I don't even need to turn around to know Trigger has entered the waiting room. The old man looks like he needs medical attention when he stops in front of us.
"This is bullshit," he growls.
He's too fucking upset to be worried about my woman. He isn't concerned over Jenn either. Something has him freaked though.
"Are you sure it was Zombie?" he asks Ford.
My brother is a fucking rock, showing not a hint of emotion in his dark blue eyes.
"Yeah."
"Who was he shooting at? Are you sure Manny wasn't involved?"
"I wouldn't know that. The shooters ran when they heard us coming."
"More than one?" he asks then glances at Madden to share a private look.
"Yeah, two."
His confusion clear, Trigger lacks my brother's cold exterior. He doesn't know about Wino. The fucker has lost control of his club, and he can't even ask Joker for help.
"They were likely after the same people who hit Big Dick," Madden says.
"You think?" Trigger yells at his son. "Who the fuck else?"
Madden doesn't flinch. Hell, I'd think he was deaf with how little he reacts.
"Who hit Big Dick?" Ford asks, faking mild concern like a pro.
"Drive-by," Madden says. "They took out Big Dick and Linda while they were on their way here. Took out Wino when he tried to save them." The pretty boy suddenly looks at Bull. "These gangbangers have idiots on the West Side claiming Ginger Snaps is behind the shootings."
Nodding, Bull doesn't understand why anyone is talking to him. Even I get it, and I'm not the brightest bulb in the box. Trigger is scared now. He's fucked his club, breaking it into factions. Now he has a real enemy, just as fucking crazy as him. Oh, the old man is pissing his jeans now. Seeing his old man down, Madden subtly reminds Trigger the end is coming.
"We lock down Little Memphis," Trigger growls. "Those fuckers want a war, so let's give them a war."
Trigger storms out with Madden close behind. I nearly laugh at how the old man keeps his traitor so close. He'll never see the knife in his back coming.
"You heard him," Ford whispers to Bull. "We're at war. Time for planning is over. We kill anyone not with us."
Bull nods. "Lupe has the kids, and her brother is getting them out of Little Memphis. Where do you want me?"
"Stay close to the hospital. Zombie is a threat, and he's crazy enough to show up here. We need to check on the girls before we can start hunting the fucker. Joker needs to decide how to do Trigger. Then we end this shit now."
Ford strolls over to bullshit his way past the rules and into the patient area. I stare at his back and think about how light Tallulah felt in my arms.
Ignoring the phone vibrating in my pocket, my mind remembers the blood on Bebe. Then I'm thinking about Tallulah's broken body. If the kid dies, how do I come back from losing her? Killing a million men won't fix the pain.
Thinking the call could be from Bebe, I finally look at my phone. I frown at the message as Ford returns to read it over my shoulder.
"Zombie made a mess, so I made a bigger one. Time to start burying Trigger's inner circle. Love, Ginger."
"They want to keep Tallulah overnight, and they're moving her to a room. Bebe got checked out too. We can see them before we go hunting."
"Where are they?" I say, feeling exhausted suddenly.
Ford gives Bull a nod then pulls me towards the elevators. We take it up a floor then walk for what feels like a mile. I both need to see my family and fear looking at their frightened faces again.
Stopping me before we enter the room, he sighs. "Rage feels better than fear. Keep it together for a little longer. Then we'll find you someone to destroy."
I smile at Ford. "You always know the right shit to say."
Calmed by his words, I open the door to find Tallulah in bed and Bebe sitting in a chair next to her. Shay is standing at the windows but hurries over when Ford arrives.
I pull a chair over and sit next to Tallulah. She lifts her arm to show the cast.
"Does it hurt?" I ask, kissing her little fingers.
Tallulah nods, but gives me a smile when I nibble at her pinkie. I notice Bebe relaxing, and a hint of a smile warms her face.
"I broke my arm when I was a kid. It was pretty bad, but the time Ford broke his head was worse. That's why he's so stupid, you know?"
While Ford grunts at my teasing, Tallulah is grinning now. Bebe's eyes light up more the longer I'm in the room. Seeing how much they need me, I hate to leave them.
"Why are you staying the night?" I ask Bebe.
"She hit her head, and they want to keep an eye on her overnight."
"I have a bump," Tallulah says, rubbing the back of her head.
"When Ford had his bump, I would spin a basketball on the tip."
Tallulah looks at Ford who nods. Now she's giggling.
Bebe reaches across the bed and takes my hands. Her touch feels so damn good, and the urge to stay increases.
"How are you?" I ask. "You were limping."
"I just bruised my hip. They gave me pain meds, but I don't want to take anything that'll knock me out."
Shay steps closer to the bed. "I'll stay up and keep watch when you and Tallulah sleep."
Bebe frowns before realizing what her friend is saying. She hasn't realized Ford and I need to leave. When her gaze finds mine, I know she understands.
"Perri went to heaven," she says softly. "She was making a new life, but God wanted her in heaven."
Despite her soft tone for Tallulah's sake, Bebe's eyes are full of rage. Two kids lost their mom today. Jenn is in surgery a floor below us. Her children are waiting outside of town to find out if they're motherless too. Blood has been spilt, and only spilling more blood will make things right.
46
Bebe
Right Thing to Say
Pax walks into the hospital room, and I feel a weight lift off me. Tallulah perks up too. We need him to stay and keep us safe
. Not just from the physical threats but the emotional ones too. This big, scary man makes the world easier with his smile. His rough voice helps me believe in good things. Pax brightens a dark, ugly world, but he needs to leave.
The men don't say they have to go. I ignore the signals from them too, but Shay finally forces me to accept reality.
"Can we talk real quick?" I ask Pax.
When he nods, we walk into the adjoining bathroom and shut the door. He seems imposing in the small space, but I only fear him leaving.
"The club needs you," I say, struggling to sound calm.
"Going on the run isn't happening now. We finish this in the next few days, or it finishes us."
Staring up at him, I nod. "I love you."
Pax's cool exterior cracks, and I worry I sound too needy. When I move towards him, he notices my limp. His light blue eyes are dark with worry.
"My hip and thigh are bruised, but nothing's broken. I'll be back to riding you again in a few days. Maybe a week."
Pax grins. "I don't mind you being lazy in bed. Makes me feel like a man on a mission."
We share a smile, but I'm terrified to tell him goodbye. The jinx hanging over my family feels too real now. If I let Pax go, I'm sure I'll never see him again. Never feel his touch or hear his laugh. Never again will I feel safe. No other man will ever love me like Pax. He's my soul mate, and I'm about to say goodbye.
Dumping my panic on him when he needs to be strong can't happen. I might feel beat down after a long day, but I refuse to make things worse on Pax.
"I think a holiday baby will be fun," I say. "Maybe instead of Roy, we could name a boy Roger Reed."
Knowing I want to say so much more, Pax smiles. "I've only known one Roger, and he ate boogers. Not just his either. Real weirdo."
Despite my fear and exhaustion, I laugh. "So no Roger."
"The name Roy will grow on you. Trust me."
"Can I pick the girl's name?"
"Sure, but no nicknames like Lula. I can't explain why it bugs me, but it does."
"Deal," I say, wrapping him in my arms. "Now kiss me like you mean it."