As lunch approached my phone rang. My heart nearly stopped when I saw Risa’s face light up the screen.
I answered, hesitating a moment. “Hello?”
“Erica, it’s Risa.”
“Yes.” Obviously. What the hell do you want?
“Listen, I know I’m probably the last person you want to talk to. I just…I really need to talk to you.”
“About what?”
“Could we meet for lunch?”
An anxious feeling rolled through me. Risa was associated with Max, and nothing good came of meeting with him to discuss business.
“I have nothing to say to you.”
“Please, I’m begging you. Please. I know you hate me. And you have every right to. If you don’t want to ever see or talk to me again after today, I’ll stay out of your life completely.”
I stared at the white partition in front of me. She sounded different. She sounded...desperate. I wasn’t supposed to care, but I did. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to imagine how I was going to possibly handle this on my own. Then an idea occurred to me.
“I’ll meet you at the corner deli near the office at noon.”
“Perfect, thank you.”
I hung up before she could say anything else and Skyped Alli to come talk to me.
She popped in a few seconds later. “What’s up?”
“By any chance, are you interested in meeting with Risa for lunch? She wants to talk to me. I don’t trust her, and I don’t trust myself not to strangle her if I go alone.”
“Sure. I’ve got a few words for her myself.”
“It’s a date.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“Thank you again for meeting me.”
Risa looked like a stray puppy sitting across from us. Alli sat back with her arms crossed, giving Risa her best stare down. I didn’t think Alli was capable of hating anyone, but she looked pretty convincing right now. Even as pathetic as Risa looked, I struggled to pity her. Her normally pin-straight glossy hair was tossed into a messy bun. Dressed in jeans and a simple black button-up, her face made up, she looked tired and worn. The shrewd and energetic girl who’d left Clozpin and taken my user database with her seemed to have aged in the short time since she’d left. I wanted to tell her she looked like hell, but figured I’d save it.
“I’m still not convinced I should be wasting my time with you, so if you have something to say, say it.”
Her eyes glistened as they darted between us. “I’m sorry. I want you to know that.”
“It’s a little late to be sorry,” Alli snapped, taking the words from my mouth.
“I know, and I don’t expect forgiveness. I made a mistake. Max…he made me believe leaving was the right choice, the only choice if I wanted to make something of myself and push my career forward. He’s not who I thought he was.”
I clenched my jaw, keeping the words down. He wasn’t who I thought he was either. He was so much worse.
“He used me to get to you,” she continued, her wounded eyes pleading with me. “He played on all my emotions, my own jealousy and insecurities to get me to leave. But now, I don’t even know who he is. He’s in trouble, I think, and he’s so obsessed with destroying Blake. It has nothing to do with the business I thought we were going to build together. It goes so much deeper than I ever realized.”
I leaned forward, studying her. I began to see that she had no idea what had happened between Max and me.
“Risa, Max drugged me and tried to have sex with me last week. That’s how much he wants to hurt Blake. Trust me, you have no idea how depraved he is until you’ve walked in my shoes.”
“What?” Her jaw fell open, her eyes fixed on me. “Oh my God. I didn’t know. I knew he and Blake fought, but I had no idea.”
I tensed against the emotions that threatened. I couldn’t lose my shit in front of her, as much as Max’s behavior still tore at me. I clung to my anger instead.
“Yes. You should ask him about it. I’m sure he’ll spin some story about how I came onto him at my own engagement party. And maybe since you thought it’d be a fun idea to tell Blake about James, you can swap stories about what a whore I am.” I clenched my teeth, barely resisting the urge to leave. If nothing else, I’d wanted to meet Risa once more to get my verbal pound of flesh. Who knows when I’d get another chance to tell her what I thought.
“I don’t think you’re a whore. At one point, in the heat of the moment after you’d fired me, I mentioned that I saw you with James to Max. He’s the one who wanted me to tell Blake. I didn’t want to, really. Blake looked so angry when I told him that I regretted it immediately. I didn’t even know you and Blake were engaged.”
I lifted my chin, my lips in a tight line. “And thriving, somehow, despite all this. Despite you and Max trying to ruin my business and our relationship, me, we’re stronger than we ever were. So what do you want now? He’s the one you chose. Now you have to live with that choice.”
“I want to leave him. I really do.” Her eyes glistened. The napkin in her hand was twisted nearly to shreds. God, she was a legitimate mess.
“Then leave him. It has no bearing on me.”
She nodded quickly, her head down. “I want to,” she whispered. “I’m afraid he’ll ruin me. Whatever happened between you, he’s a completely different person. I don’t know who he is. I think he’s in financial trouble. He said he can’t fund the site anymore. Everything we worked for, down the drain. And I’ve been overhearing conversations with his father. I don’t know for sure, but I think he’s cutting him off. Everything is so fucked up right now.”
“I know, Risa. But I don’t really care either.”
She released a heavy sigh. “Let me make it up to you. I felt terrible before, but now...I can’t believe what he did to you.”
I laughed. “I don’t want you to make it up to me. I want to move on with my life, and you’re not going to be a part of that. It sounds like you fell prey to a horrible person with terrible motives, but I’m not the person to reach out to for help.”
Her dark brown eyes looked serious for a moment. “I can help you find Trevor.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “He’s pretty elusive. I have a hard time imagining he’d let you or even Max get very close.”
“I can try to find proof that Max paid him, maybe an address so you could track him down. He’s not going to stop. If anyone hates Blake more than Max, it’s Trevor.”
I narrowed my gaze at her, curiosity burning through me. Would I have a chance to find one enemy through another, or was this just a dangerous step that would bring Risa closer to my world when I wanted anything but?
“I’ll admit I’m intrigued, but not enough to take the bait. Trevor isn’t a concern of mine right now. Unlike you and your partners, I don’t plan my days around revenge and counter attacks. I just want to move on with my life. I have a wedding to plan and a business to run. I’m sorry Max took advantage of you. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I actually cared about you, Risa, and that’s hard to forget. I hope if nothing else you learned a lesson from all of this.”
“I don’t expect you to take me back, but I want to make it right. I’m going to make it up to you somehow.”
* * *
I leaned against the wall in the cool dark hallway outside the office while I considered an early retirement. This had to have been the most emotionally exhausting day back to work in history. I lifted my phone and pulled up Blake’s number.
“What’s up, baby?”
I sighed, still unable to process all of it. “So…I had lunch with Risa today.”
“What?” His concern came through clearly in that one word.
“I brought Alli with me, and Clay drove us. It was fine.”
“What did she want?”
“I guess she wants to make it up to me. Says she feels horrible about everything, though not surprisingly, Max didn’t tell her what really happened at the party. She just thought you two got into a fistfight.”
&nbs
p; He snorted.
“But at least for now, she’s still with him. She seems worried about him retaliating if she leaves. Honestly I feel sorry for her, even if she’s made her own bed.”
“They deserve each other,” he muttered, the clicking of a keyboard quiet in the background.
“She thinks that Michael is cutting him off.”
Silence hung in the air. No clicking, no words, only the faint sound of Blake’s breathing.
“Why does she think that?”
“She said she overheard conversations between them. And he told her that he can’t fund PinDeelz anymore. I’m not sure, but I’m guessing that might have something to do with the site being down. It says M89 hacked it right now, which makes no sense.”
“I hacked the site.”
My mouth opened to speak, but the words lodged there for a second. “You hacked their site?”
“Don’t act so surprised. He had it coming.”
If I weren’t so shocked, I might have felt a little sorry for them. “But how…if Trevor built the site?”
“Trevor is a troll, not a developer. And he obviously didn’t build their site with the same dedication he has for hacking. I was able to get in and wipe the server with very little effort. He’s a shitty programmer.”
“But wait, what about the M89 logo?”
“I just did that to fuck with Max’s head.”
A short laugh escaped me. Blake was devious, but I kind of loved it.
“Maybe it worked. Risa mentioned that Trevor fell off the map. Max can’t reach him.”
“No doubt because he’s not paying him anymore. The business Max was using as a front to pay Trevor was dissolved a few days ago. If Michael is cutting him off, that might be why.”
My mind spun as I absorbed these new details. Attacking me would have been the shot that set off this whole chain of events. And if what Risa said was true, Max’s world might be imploding. His finances, his family, maybe even his freedom.
“If all this is happening because of Michael, it would make sense why none of your other investors would want to upset him.”
“Don’t let his charms fool you. Michael’s a great guy, but he’s not someone to cross.”
“But his own son?”
“Max is finally getting what he deserves. I have no sympathy for him, and neither should you.”
“I know. Trust me, I don’t,” I said. My thoughts drifted. I still had to speak with the police, and I was less than thrilled about it.
“I have to run, Erica. I have a call. But I forgot to tell you earlier that Mom wanted to have us for dinner tomorrow night. I told her we’d go, but I wasn’t thinking. Are you okay going there and seeing everyone so soon?”
“Of course. Blake, I love your family.”
“I know, but after everything that went down…we don’t have to go if you don’t want to go back there so soon.”
“No, it’s fine. Really, I’m fine. I have to move on. I can’t undo what happened, but I can’t dwell on it either. Remember that I’ve been through worse. Beyond that, it’d be nice to get together with everyone. Most of the time they overwhelm me, but you’ve been keeping me in isolation long enough. I’m actually looking forward to all the commotion now.”
“Okay, I’ll let her know we’ll be there.”
“Sounds good.”
“I love you, baby.”
I smiled. “Love you too.”
* * *
I focused intently on the magazine on my lap, trying like hell not to feel overwhelmed. Living inside my brain lately was like living inside a three-ring circus. Sid and James had the re-launch plans under control, so Alli and I decided to take the afternoon off to go dress shopping. I was still reeling from the meeting with Risa so I didn’t argue when she suggested the break.
“Baby girl.”
I lifted my gaze to find Marie walking toward me. She smiled warmly, but I could see the worry in her eyes. I rose from the bridal shop’s ornate cream-colored couch, and hugged her when she was close enough.
“You look good, honey. How are you feeling?”
“I’m good,” I insisted, swallowing over the rush of emotions that came with seeing her again. “I feel really good. Back to work and everything.”
“I’m glad.” She didn’t budge, her arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders. The longer we stood that way, the less control I had over the tears burning behind my eyes.
“Marie.” I laughed weakly to keep from sobbing. “You’re going to make me cry again. I can’t cry over this anymore.”
She pulled away, her eyes glistening as mine were. “It’s okay to cry. What happened was terrible. I can’t imagine what you must be going through.”
I shook my head and rubbed my eyes. “It’s nothing I haven’t already survived. I’ll be fine.”
She frowned and I regretted the words as soon as they slipped from my lips. I had started to take for granted that everyone knew about Max, and most even knew about Mark. Having my past so out in the open wasn’t a comfortable feeling, but oddly it had given me a small measure of relief. Sometimes hiding what had happened and pretending like it hadn’t become a part of me took more energy than simply owning it.
Over the past few years I had often battled over whether or not to tell Marie about what happened with Mark, but in the end, decided it was better not to burden her with it. I don’t know why I said it now, except to take another step toward bringing that scar out into the light. Still, I didn’t want to worry her with it today.
She rubbed up and down the tops of my arms slowly. “What do you mean?”
“Nothing. Forget it. This is supposed to be a happy day. Right?” I smiled and sniffed, trying to pull myself back together.
Her lips were tight and then she released a small sigh. “Of course. Thank you for inviting me. I’m not sure how I’m going to keep from balling like a baby when I see you in a white dress though. Have you picked anything out?”
I looked around for Alli. “No, not yet. Alli is with the sales lady picking out dresses for me. She says she knows what I want anyway. She usually does, so I’m going with it.” I shrugged.
Then Alli emerged with another young woman. They both had their arms full of more white lace than I’d ever know what to do with.
My stomach fell. Oh hell, here we go.
Fifteen minutes later, the sales lady was clipping the back of my dress, cinching the fabric tightly around my bust and waist. Carefully I stepped into the little room the store had reserved for us. Alli and Marie sat on the edge of the couch, eyes wide as I emerged. I turned to face the mirrors.
Marie’s hands went to her mouth. Before I could let the waterworks loose, I turned my focus back to the dress. It was beautiful, but the details of its design escaped me when all I could imagine was walking toward Blake in it. To be his wife. To be his, forever.
The reality of that thought hit me like a sledgehammer. I didn’t know if I wanted to be sick or pass out or launch into tears. All I knew was up until this moment, the thought of getting married had seemed more abstract. Right now, it was real and staring me in the face, impossible to ignore.
Alli came up beside me with a broad smile. “It’s beautiful. I love it. Do you like it?”
“This is really happening,” was all I could say.
She laughed and squeezed my shoulders. “Yes! This is happening, and you’re going to be so happy.”
I laughed a little at how surreal it all felt. “I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’m actually getting married.”
Marie stood on the other side and took my hand, so much love in her eyes. “You ready for this, honey?”
I stared back at her reflection, frozen as I asked myself the same question. A weight inside me lifted when I heard myself answer.
Yes.
I’d never been more ready.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
I stared down at my feet as they sank into the wet sand. Wave after wave lapped against my calves. While we
waited for dinner, Blake and I had walked down to the shore, stopping at the edge of his parents’ private beach. I took in the salty air, moist on my skin in the warm summer night. I lifted my gaze to the darkening horizon.
“Don’t you feel like we’re standing at the edge of the world?”
Blake bent to catch a shell rolling up with the tide. “I suppose so.” He tossed it back into the restless waters. “You love the ocean, don’t you?”
“I do. I’m not sure I can ever be without it again.” I laughed quietly. “I guess I like living on the edge.”
I met Blake’s gaze. His eyes were quiet, contemplative. The fading glow of the sunset cast shadows across his face. The vintage T-shirt he wore ruffled in the breeze blowing off the ocean. Though still damp at the bottom, his jeans were rolled up past his ankles. Blake was perfect in all the ways that mattered to me. Perfect and all mine.
He took my hand and pulled me to him. I went willingly, loving the warmth of his embrace. He circled my waist, bringing us chest to chest. My hands found his hair, mussing the dark brown strands. I smiled, memorizing him and this moment.
“Sometimes I wish I could just sweep you up and take you away. Run away from all this madness and take a real break. A long break.”
I drew in a breath. I couldn’t agree more, but I also knew how unrealistic it was. I’d spent a long time wishing I could run away from my life, but not having any idea where or whom to run to. Instead I’d resisted the urge and forged ahead, making life work through the hardest times. Through my mother’s death, through the separation from the only father I’d ever known until recently, and then through the hell that Mark had put me through. And here I was—stronger, happier than I’d ever been, enjoying this perfect moment with the man I loved so completely.
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