by Becca Taylor
At ten, I walk through the door seeing Tristan behind the counter. He’s covering for Bent and me today so we can get ready for Rock Fest tonight. For the past five years now, Slither has played the event, always a good time. I bump shoulders with Tristan in our usual bro hug. “Hey man, didn’t expect to see you here.”
“I know. A little restless today. I always am before a show. How’s it been today?”
With a swoop of his hand, “As you can see we got this. It was busy most of the morning, now we are in a lull.”
I figured I’d come help with the Saturday hangover breakfast crowd.” On the weekends, we are busy between eleven and two for the lunch regulars and those who are just getting up after a night of drinking. You can always tell them from everyone else. Sunglasses, wrinkled clothes and they tend to order the greasiest item on the menu, something with bacon, eggs or taylor ham.
“Well, I won’t say no to that.”
Like I knew it would, the time breezes by. Knowing Tristan has everything under control, I head home for a quick shower. My gear was loaded ready for the gig tonight. I hop in my truck, making the short ride to where we will be playing. Bentley texted me where to park, so we can easily unload everything close to the stage.
The thing I love about these doing these shows, is the atmosphere. No one cares if you absolutely suck on stage, although we try not to. For me, it’s not a job. It’s good old fun, just another jam session with my boys. We never were looking to get rich. Everyone was just out to have a good time. Before I get out of my truck, I text Kat, letting her know I won’t hear my phone for a while, reminding her I would text her when I get home tonight. My phone buzzes immediately, causing me to smile.
Kat- K. Have fun, but not too much without me. On line for the biggest roller coaster now.
Me—Be careful. Come back in one piece. Miss ya, baby.
Kat—Miss u too. Xx
She sends me a picture of them online for some superhero ride. Fuckin’ cute. I save it to my phone. My boys and I help some of the other bands unload, since we had a few hours before we would perform. It’s what we do. Knowing that I’m going to burn off a ton of calories on stage, I go in search of food. The first bands are heading up to play.
Another thing I love about doing these shows is seeing people I haven’t seen in a long time. Work has kept me busy and I lost touch with longtime friends. Music helps keep me connected with them, you are always guaranteed to run into a familiar face or two. While we are sitting back stage, I recognize the band that is playing. It’s Kat’s ex. As long as we stay away from each other, I’m good.
When I look up, I see a girl I recognize in the distance. I tap Bentley. “Hey man, I think that’s Sami.” He looks in the direction I pointed. “It is. Wonder what brings her here?” I make my way over to her. A few years back she used to sing with us occasionally. She has great stage presence. Not as great a singer as Kat, but pretty damn good.
Yelling over the music, I call out to her. She looks up from her drink, searching for where her name came from. Once she sees me, she grabs the girl’s hand next to her, pulling her towards me. “Caleb, long time no see!”
“What brings you here?” I ask her.
“Started my own band. Figured this is as good as any gig to see if we are good enough.”
“We’re playing later tonight. Come on, I’m sure the boys will want to see you. But first introduce me to your friend.”
Smiling at the girl next to her, “This is my girlfriend, Emily.”
“Hey, Emily. Now come on!” It’s not a big shock to me that she is with a female. One crazy night after a gig, lots of drinking and one groupie, Sami and I had a threesome. It was hot, but I spent more time as a spectator than a participant. The next day it was just awkward for both of us. We moved on, knowing it was a one-time experiment. It was in the past.
We head over to the boys to say hello and chill out before either of us had to go on stage. The rest of Sami’s band made their way over to us. It was an all-girl metal band. I couldn’t wait to see them up on stage. People will go nuts for them, because what man doesn’t like watching chicks rock out? I only wish Kat were here, because she would love to see it too. I got Sami’s number saying we should all get together again. I wanted her to meet my girl. They would hit it off in an instant.
Travis
WHEN I EXIT the stage, I feel the high of playing. I scanned the crowd to see if I can catch a glimpse of Katerina. I knew the dick’s band would be playing tonight. I figure if he would be here, then Katerina would be here with him. I was hoping she would. But I haven’t seen her around tonight.
What I did see makes me smile. Caleb has his arms around not one, but two groupies. Knowing what I need to do, I keep myself hidden from his view and snap a few pictures. Fucking dick. I knew he was just using Katerina from the beginning.
He might not know me, but I’ve seen him around at some of these gigs before. He was always with a different girl. His band was always surrounded by groupies, looking to get laid. I knew the type. I was that type. Once I met Katerina, I was faithful. I just got lost for a while.
Since the night I left her, I’ve had nothing but regrets. I missed her. I’ve been trying to show her that I’ve changed. Sending her flowers, gifts, but I haven’t heard anything. Seeing this tonight, I know that will change. You can always look, but never touch. That’s why I like strip clubs, I could look my fill, but there were rules against touching. And the dick was touching. I send her a text first, before I send the pictures. I want to make sure she will answer.
Me- Interesting night for a concert. Your boy is having fun.
I wait and wait. I can be patient when I want to, but my patience is slipping. I need her back in my life. Finally, after fifteen minutes, she replies.
Kat—What do you want?
Me—I have some information you may want.
Kat—I said I don’t want to hear from you.
Me—You will want to see this, trust me.
Kat—Goodbye Travis.
Me- I hate to do this, but you may want to see what your boy does while you aren’t around. I’m sorry Katerina.
I wasn’t sorry though. Not for him, or her. This is what will get her back in my arms, away from that asshole. That is why I could care less. If she needed a shoulder to cry on, mine would be there. Ready and waiting.
I didn’t hear anything in return after I sent the pictures. I really didn’t expect to either. But I had one more thing to leave her with, one more thought before I terminate our conversation.
Me—See Katerina, I told you this would happen. He played you. He used you like I said he would. He doesn’t want you, no other man truly wants you. But I do.
Sending those pictures puts the biggest smile on my face. Tonight, she can sleep on it. Tomorrow, I will be contacting her again. She will talk to me. We will work this out. Maybe now she will realize I’m the best she can get. No one will compare to me.
Katerina
WHEN I SEE TRAVIS’ first message pop up on my screen, I was thinking it was Caleb contacting me before going on stage. Here I was enjoying myself, riding every roller coaster. For so long I feared riding them, and I still do. But I was determined to check it off on my adventure list.
After the third trip on the same ride, I decided to sit this one out. My stomach was starting to feel less than happy with me. I buy a ginger ale, trying to settle my rolling stomach, waiting for everyone to come back. The text Travis just sent only made my stomach worse. I was about to type fuck you to him when my message box pings again. My world crashes with what I see.
Two pictures of Caleb show up on my screen. The first, he has his arms around two very beautiful women. One girl has her arm around his back, hugging him. He looks to be laughing. The second is what does me in. He is cupping that same girl’s face, kissing her forehead. Kissing her the way he has done to me so many times.
The blood drains from my body, turning me cold. My world crumbles once again. I si
t there staring at my phone for God knows how long, until I hear my name. “Kat, you ok?” Glancing up, I see Kelli looking at me concerned.
Fake it, I tell myself. I need to get out of here fast. I can’t lose it here in front of strangers. I won’t. “Um, that last ride did me in. I think I’m done for the night. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”
Kelli runs after me as I walk away. “You want me to come with you?”
Taking a deep breath to keep the tears from falling, I just shake my head no. “I’m good. Go have fun. I should’ve been smarter and not ate that funnel cake before the ride.”
I think I convinced her. “Okay. Take it easy then. Text me if you need me to bring anything to your room.”
“Thanks. See you tomorrow.”
This time I run for the exit, getting on the bus that takes me to the hotel. Thankfully, I made it back before I break down. My hands are shaking uncontrollably when I reach my door, I have a hard time opening it. Finally, the green light shines. Once I lock the door, I torture myself breaking out my phone, looking at the picture once again.
I don’t know what I was hoping. Maybe that it really wasn’t Caleb. It is. Maybe it was photo shopped. It’s not. Oh God. That’s when the tears start. I did it again. I let someone in, and he broke me. Because that’s what I feel at this moment. Completely broken.
Not really knowing how much time has passed, I stand. My legs are numb from the position I was sitting in. I already knew, no sleep tonight. Instead, I head downstairs not caring that I look a mess. I’m pretty sure my waterproof mascara wasn’t so waterproof. My hair is a tangled disaster, half in half out of the braid.
I just needed something to calm me down. I sit on the stool at the bar. The bartender walks over to me. “What’ll it be, sweetheart?”
I answered so quickly, he raises his eyebrow at me. “Shot of tequila and glass of your best wine.” Once I said that, a memory of the last time I had tequila pops in my head. It was with Caleb. “Wait, make it a Jack.” Not my favorite, but it will do.
He brings it over, “You alright? Do I need to go hulk on someone?”
His comment makes me laugh. “How do you know it’s about a guy?”
He points to the shot in front of me. “Whenever a woman orders a shot of this, it’s always about a guy. Let me know if you need anything else.”
After slamming down the shot, my body shivers from the taste of the alcohol. The warmth spreads through my body instantly, calming the chilly feeling. I drink my wine faster than I normally would, not wanting to risk running into anyone. I have one more shot to help me sleep. I drop money on the counter and drag my sorry ass upstairs. Stepping out of my jeans, I flop on the bed, pulling the blanket over me. The voices in my head needed to stop screaming at me, but they wouldn’t let me sleep. Instead, I surf the channels, finding the sappiest love story there is. Which only causes me to cry, again. At some point, I must have fallen asleep, because at one in the morning my phone pings with a message.
Caleb- Hope u had fun today. Show was good. Can’t wait to see u tomorrow. Miss you, baby girl.
I read and reread the message. I went back and forth emotionally. One minute I felt like my chest was caving in, and I couldn’t breathe. The next minute I would get angry thinking things like, if he missed me, why was he all over that girl? Did he screw her behind the stage like me? Did he go to her place for a quickie? I feel so stupid for thinking there was something more to us than sex. Once again my phone pings.
Caleb—Guessing you are asleep. Sweet dreams, baby. Call me when u get up.
Tossing the phone on the nightstand, I attempt to find sleep again. Since receiving Caleb’s text, I slept on and off throughout out the night. I look at the clock and realize I have to be at breakfast in fifteen minutes. At the moment, I couldn’t care less that I looked like a complete mess, but I took a quick shower more out of necessity than interest. I put my hair up in a ponytail, toss on a simple jersey dress that will be fine for the drive home, and throw all my clothes in the suitcase. At the front desk, I turn in my keys asking if they can keep my luggage until I leave, which will be as soon as possible.
I see everyone sitting at the table already. Taking a few deep breaths, I throw on my fake happy face, sitting down at the table. “Kat, how are you feeling?” Kelli asks.
“Never better. Sleep helped.”
I eat, but in reality I am just poking at my food with my fork in silence, nodding occasionally. When the breakfast finished, I hug everyone goodbye, grab my luggage, and leave. When I get in my car, there is another message from Caleb, a simple good morning. I didn’t answer him back. I make the drive home in complete silence, not even turning on the radio. Just letting my own thoughts consume me.
What already is a long drive seems even longer with nothing to go home to. Once I pull into my parking spot, my movements are much like a robot. Get out of car, get suitcase, open door, close door, put clothes in laundry. After changing into my favorite rock t-shirt and yoga pants, I heat up my favorite comfort food, Mac and cheese. Not the box stuff either. The homemade kind, with extra gooey cheese. With a giant bowl propped on my belly, I sit in front of the television, ignoring every message that Caleb was sending.
After a few bites of food, my stomach revolts. I toss the whole bowl in the garbage, knowing I will not be able to eat it later either. My phone notifies me I have another message, this time from Travis asking if I was okay. My reply is simple. Fuck off.
After six, Aly rings me. I know I need to talk to her, so I answer. “Jesus, Kat, are you ok?”
Taking a deep breath trying to keep the tears from starting, “I’m home. Sorry, I lost track of time.” I hear her talking to someone in the background.
“What’s going on Kat? Caleb is here freakin’ out, because you haven’t called him. He says he’s on his way down there.”
Oh, please God, no. I’m not ready to see him. “Tell him no. Make up something. Say I got food poisoning, anything. Just don’t let him come here.” I know she will cover for me.
She huffs at me. Lowering her voice, “What the fuck, Kat? You better tell me what’s going on. Hold on.” She covers the phone with her hand, starting to talk. I hear nothing but muffled voices. Then Aly gets back on.
“He wants to talk to you. If you don’t talk to him, he says he’ll come up there.”
I take a deep breath. “Fine, put him on.”
I hear the phone exchange hands then Caleb speaks, “Kat, are you ok, baby? You worried the shit out of me.”
His voice sends shivers down my spine. Do not cry! Keep it together and do not cry. “I’m fine, I think I ate something bad.”
“I’ll be right there.”
“NO!” I might have said it more forcefully than I intended.
“Kat, let me come take care of you.” His voice sounds genuinely concerned for me. My heart betrays me and skips a beat.
“No Caleb, I don’t want you to see me like this.” It was the truth. I didn’t want him to see the pathetic girl I was at the moment. “I’m just going straight to bed.”
He relents, “Fine. I’ll check on you in the morning. Kat?”
“Yeah?”
He clears his throat, “I really missed you this weekend. Feel better, baby.”
I cover my mouth, not wanting him to hear my sob. After recomposing myself, I ask, “Can you put Aly back on?”
“Okay. Night, baby girl. Call me if you need me to bring you anything. Any time day or night.”
A few seconds later, Aly gets back on the line. In the background, I hear footsteps. “You better start explaining.” I hear a door slam close. I did not want to tell her what happened, but at the same time, I need my best friend. She needs to know everything, not only about what happened yesterday, about all of it. So I blurt it out. About Travis, and the way he’s been contacting me all along. How he contacted me last night. How he saw Caleb at the concert. Last, I send her the pictures. I feel relieved once I get it all out. I am sitting on the floo
r, picking at the carpet, waiting for her response. “Kat, you know this is bull, right?”
“You’ve seen the pictures. What else could it be?”
“Caleb wouldn’t do this. He’s been here all day, waiting for you to call him.”
“Today maybe, but who knows went down last night. Were you there?”
“No, but this is just some ploy Travis created to get you back. And why the fuck haven’t you told me what he’s been doing? Did Caleb know?” She sounds annoyed at me. Like it’s my fault all this happened.
Inhale, exhale. I needed to calm myself before I had another breakdown. “No. It’s my problem. Not his.”
I can hear her pacing the floor, “You should’ve said something to someone.”
“Logan knew. He was there when it started. Besides it’s over.” Now, I am starting to get annoyed back. It feels like my best friend was not on my side, but on the side of the guy who may have cheated on me last night.
“Kat, you know you need to talk to him. Find out what really happened.”
“Oh, I know what happened!”
She groans at me. “No, you don’t. You think you do, but it’s a picture. Travis took it, knowing it would hurt you. His only intention is getting you back.”
“I don’t want to know. I just need time. Please, Aly, don’t say anything. Give me a few days. I just need time to think.”
“Fine Kats. I will keep your secret, but you need to do something for me. You do not go back to Travis.” She says this by pronouncing each word loudly.
“I promise. Thanks, Aly. I’m going to bed. I’m wiped out.” I have zero intentions of getting back together with Travis. I think she said that to me because it is what she’s been doing lately with Mike. One day they have a fight, split up. Then the next the cycle starts again.
“Night, sweetie. Call me anytime if you need me. Love ya.”