‘What is this?’ he demanded, startled. ‘Psychology by Dr Lopez?’
‘I know. It’s none of my business,’ she told him, gentling. ‘But it’s why I have to go home. Because I’ve admitted that I need people. I need my family and my friends.’ More, she thought, and the idea that swept across her heart was so strong that she knew it for absolute truth. She needed Cal. But she wouldn’t say that. She’d said it years ago, and where had that got her?
‘For me to calmly go and live in Townsville would hurt,’ she told him. ‘Sure, I’d have a great job…’
‘You’d meet people.’
‘So I would,’ she told him. ‘But not the people I love.’
‘You’d learn…’
‘You really don’t understand the need thing, do you, Cal?’ she said sadly. ‘I need my friends and I need my family and I’m not too scared to admit it.’
‘You’re saying I am?’
‘I’m not saying anything,’ she said wearily. ‘But Townsville’s not going to happen.’ She regrouped. Sort of. ‘And Rudolph’s not going to happen either,’ she told him, ‘so stop encouraging CJ.’
‘I’m not.’
‘Just stop it,’ she said. She closed her eyes for a moment, still trying for the regroup. ‘The baby. Lucky. How is he?’
‘He’s still holding his own,’ Cal told her. They’d both moved back into the shade of the veranda-in this climate you moved into the shade as if a magnet was pulling you. ‘There doesn’t seem any sign of infection. His heartbeat’s settling and steady.’
‘I’ll do another echocardiogram now.’
‘We thought you’d say that, so we waited for you to wake up.’
‘You should have-’
‘There was no need,’ he said gently, and she flushed. She hated it when he was gentle. She hated it when he was…how she loved him. ‘What about the bleeding?’
‘The results of yesterday’s blood tests should be in soon,’ he told her. ‘Alix, our pathologist, is working on them now.’
‘I haven’t used any clot-breaking medication,’ she said. ‘Usually after a procedure for pulmonary stenosis I’d prescribe a blood thinner but I’ve held off. There’s a fair risk of blood clots in infants this tiny, but if he’s a bleeder…’
‘Hamish concurs,’ he told her. ‘He’s saying von Willebrand’s is a strong possibility.’
She nodded, flinching inside as she thought through the consequences.
Von Willebrand’s was a treatable condition. A similar disorder to haemophilia, any cut or major bruising could be life-threatening, but treated it was far less dangerous. In fact, given this baby’s condition, it was a bonus in that it made it less likely that Lucky would get a clot.
But it left an even deeper sense of unease about the mother. A woman, or more likely a girl, who’d had no medical help during a birth, who had possibly told no one about the birth, who was on her own.
Was she right in her surmise that the girl wasn’t a bleeder? If she’d haemorrhaged afterwards…
‘Has there been any news about the mother?’
‘Nothing,’ Cal told her, and she could see by his face that he was following her train of thought and was as worried as she was. ‘The police and a couple of local trackers have been right through the bushland round the rodeo area. They’re sure that she’s no longer in the area. She must have come by car and left by car.’
‘Or by bus.’
‘Or bus.’
‘And maybe she has von Willebrand’s disease. Maybe she’s a bleeder.’
‘She or the father,’ Cal said.
‘I’m not worrying about the father right now,’ Gina told him. ‘I’m worrying too much about the mother. To give birth in such a place, to leave thinking your baby was dead… What she must be going through.’
They fell silent. Each knew what the other was thinking. Suicide was a very real possibility. If only they knew where she was. Who she was.
‘There’s no matching prenatal mothers in our records at all,’ Cal told her. ‘No clues.’
‘I thought everyone knew everyone in this district.’
‘No one knows who this is.’
‘Someone must,’ Gina said, and Cal nodded.
More silence.
‘Charles says his father had von Willebrand’s,’ Cal said, and Gina frowned.
‘Charles?’
‘Our medical director. The guy in the wheelchair.’
‘I know who Charles is,’ she snapped. ‘Charles’s father has von Willebrand’s?’
‘Had. He’s dead.’
‘Charles is a local?’ Gina was still thinking it through. ‘Von Willebrand’s is a rare blood disorder. In such a small community there has to be some connection.’
‘We talked it through last night,’ Cal told her. ‘After you and I…’ He broke off. ‘Well, when I came back to the house Charles was still awake and we ended up talking things through till almost dawn. Like you, when he said that I thought there must be a connection. But it seems unlikely.’
‘Why? Tell me about his family.’
‘Charles is a Wetherby. The Wetherbys own one of the biggest stations in the state-Wetherby Downs. Charles’s brother runs the station now.’ Cal hesitated. ‘I’m not sure why, but Charles and his family don’t get on. Charles was hurt in a shooting accident when he was eighteen. He went to the city for medical treatment, ended up staying to do medicine and only came back here to set up this service. He hasn’t had much to do with his family for years. But as for the von Willebrand’s… Charles himself doesn’t have kids. His brother doesn’t have von Willebrand’s, and his brother’s two kids are only fourteen and sixteen.’
‘The sixteen-year-old?’ she said quickly. ‘That’d fit. A girl?
‘Yes, but-’
‘A teenager in trouble and desperate not to tell her parents?’
‘Charles checked it out this morning,’ Cal told her. ‘She’s in boarding school in Sydney and hasn’t been home for a month.’
‘So we’ll cross her off the list,’ Gina said reluctantly. ‘Is there no other family?’
‘Charles’s only other sibling is a sister who moved to Sydney over twenty years back,’ he told her. ‘It was a lead worth following but it’s going nowhere.’
‘It just seems such a coincidence,’ she murmured. ‘It’s so rare.’
‘Charles’s father was not exactly a man of honour,’ Cal told her. ‘Charles volunteered that last night. The man was filthy rich, and used to get what he wanted. There’s more than an odds-on chance that he played around.’
‘But he’s dead,’ Gina said. ‘So we can’t ask him if he fathered anyone who might or might not have fathered someone who’s just had a baby. We’re clutching at straws here.’ She sighed. ‘OK. Enough. I’ll go and see the baby now.’ She hesitated. ‘But last night… The accident, the repercussions…’
‘Will be felt throughout the district for ever,’ Cal told her heavily. ‘I’m going out to the aboriginal settlement later this afternoon.’
‘Do you want me to come with you?’ Now, where had that come from? She hadn’t meant to offer. It had just slipped out.
‘I’d like that,’ he said gravely, and she cast him a sideways look of suspicion.
‘Maybe I shouldn’t.’
‘Gina, you would help,’ he told her. ‘You’re good with people. You know what to say.’
‘So do you,’ she said bitterly. ‘The Dr Jamieson specialty. Picking up the pieces.’ She shook her head. ‘Sorry. I’m not going there any more. But I will come to the settlement with you. I might as well be useful now I’m here. OK, Dr Jamieson. Let’s move on.’
Cal had patients booked to see him. He had to leave her-for which Gina was profoundly grateful. Sort of. With CJ happily carting junk and Cal disappearing, she was left on her own.
She spent a few minutes calming down and then went to find a pharmacist.
She wanted to see the baby but she had priorities of her own first.
The hospital dispensary was deserted. Open at need, she thought, and tried to figure who to ask. Not Cal. But as she turned away Charles was behind her in his wheelchair and she jumped almost a foot.
‘Do you mind?’ she asked breathlessly, and he grinned.
‘Sorry. I’ve tried to get a wheelchair that does footsteps but they don’t make them.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be. My speciality’s scaring people. And I’m sorry about last night. Talk about throwing you in at the deep end…’
‘It was awful,’ she admitted. ‘But maybe less awful for me who doesn’t know the people and who won’t be round to cope with the consequences.’
‘Cal reminded me you used to run a kids’ group at Townsville.’
‘So I did,’ she told him.
‘You don’t fancy doing it again?’ he asked mildly. ‘There’s a screaming need here.’
‘Cal suggested that,’ she told him. ‘But he suggested I do it at Townsville.’
Charles’s face stilled. He looked at her for a long minute and then he grimaced.
‘Cal’s a fool.’
‘No.’ She shrugged. ‘Not a fool. And I’m going home. There’s no place here for me.’
‘There’s always a place here for you,’ Charles told her forcibly. ‘Your reputation from Townsville was that of a splendid doctor and we’d be honoured to have you stay. Apart from really, really needing a cardiologist.’
‘And where does that leave Cal?’
‘Having to face what he should have faced five years ago,’ Charles told her.
She shook her head and closed her eyes. ‘Leave it, Charles.’
He looked up at her for a long minute-and then he sighed.
‘OK, We’ll leave it.’ He glanced up at her face once more and then through to the empty dispensary. ‘Were you looking for something?’
‘A pharmacist.’
‘We don’t have such a thing. We get what we need when we need it. Do you need something?’
‘Insulin.’
There was an even longer pause. ‘For you?’ he asked at last, and Gina thought, Yes, the man was fast. He’d have figured it couldn’t have been for CJ. She’d never have been able to leave him with strangers if it had been CJ.
‘Yes. For me.’
He frowned. ‘Does Cal know you’re diabetic?’
‘Cal doesn’t know the first thing about me,’ she told him. ‘But that’s irrelevant. I had my main supply of insulin in my second suitcase, which still seems to be lost. I carry enough for two or three days in my hand luggage but I’ll be needing more by tomorrow.’
‘I’ll organise it for you,’ he told her. ‘Is there anything else you need?’
‘An air ticket home?’
‘I’ll organise that, too,’ he told her, but then he hesitated. ‘Gina, can you give us another forty-eight hours? I’d like to have Lucky really out of the woods before you go.’
‘With Hamish and Emily, you hardly need me.’
‘I know I hardly need you,’ he growled. ‘But it’s the hardly I don’t like. I don’t want to lose this kid. And neither do you.’
‘No.’
‘So you’ll stay two more days?’
‘I guess.’ There was a lot to be sorted, she thought. She had to come to some arrangement with Cal by then. She had to figure out what sort of father he was prepared to be.
Then there was the added complication of Rudolph.
She sighed.
‘I do need another couple of nights,’ she told him.
‘A couple of years would be good.’
‘Don’t push it.’
Next on her list was Lucky. Gina walked into the nursery and found not one but two doctors clucking over him. Hamish was checking a drip and Em was consulting patient notes, but both of them looked up with such guilty starts as she walked in that she smiled.
‘Don’t tell me. Both of you should be somewhere else.’
‘We’re just looking,’ Hamish told her, and smiled. His smile was a bit forced, though, and Gina knew exactly what was happening. After a night like last night, there was a huge need for at least one happy ending and she had a feeling that she wasn’t the only one to have an urge to hug. Babies were excellent therapy. As if he was reading her thoughts, Hamish continued. ‘You’ve just missed Cal.’
‘And Charles before him,’ Emily said ruefully. ‘Anyone who’s anyone has been in to check on our little Lucky this morning.’ She moved aside. ‘Now it’s your turn. Go right ahead. Do your checking.’
She did.
He looked different today, Gina thought. A little…fuller? Yesterday he’d been barely alive. Now, even though he was still a tiny scrap of crumpled babyhood, Lucky’s eyes were wide, his tiny fists were flailing, and she had the strongest urge to pick him up and gather him to her.
She couldn’t. Hamish had him wired for everything-the technology surrounding this baby was far, far bulkier than the baby himself. It almost seemed ridiculous. So much technology on something so small.
Her hands slid into the incubator port and she stroked the little one’s cheek, and then she slid her little finger into the palm of the tiny hand. His fingers curled around and held, and Gina had to fight back a sudden, stupid surge of tears.
‘You don’t need me here,’ she said blindly, gently releasing her finger and starting to turn away.
But Hamish caught her shoulder and turned her back.
‘We do need you, Gina,’ he said softly. ‘You did a wonderful job here. I’ve only read of the operation you did on Lucky yesterday. I haven’t even seen it. I rang the paediatric cardiologist in Sydney this morning and he’s stunned it’s gone so well.’
‘That’s…good. I was lucky.’
‘Lucky was lucky,’ Hamish told her, and smiled. ‘And last night we were lucky to have you again. And Cal… Cal’s lucky that he met you.’
‘We think he loves you,’ Emily said, and Gina blinked.
‘Um…excuse me?’
‘He’s been faithful for years.’
‘Sure.’
‘He has.’
‘Because I’m an excuse.’
‘Yes, but you’re more than an excuse,’ Emily told her. ‘He really fell hard. Charles said-’
‘You’ve all been talking about me.’
‘It’s the doctors’ house,’ Hamish said, as if that explained everything. ‘We all talk about everyone. And we worry about Cal.’
‘He’s big enough to worry about himself.’
‘But if he had a son-’ Em started, but Gina had had enough.
‘Look, leave it,’ she said, more roughly than she’d intended, but Hamish looked at Emily as if for confirmation and then went in anyway.
‘Gina, you fought for Lucky,’ he said gently. ‘Emily and Charles and I think you should fight for Cal. He’s worth fighting for.’
‘I’ve been fighting for years,’ she said bitterly. ‘I’m past fighting.’
‘But Cal-’
‘Sure, Cal’s had it hard,’ she snapped. ‘But I haven’t exactly had it easy. I’ve been fighting for my husband’s life, for my son’s welfare and for my own health.’ She caught herself and bit her lip, angry with herself more than them. These were Cal’s friends. Sure, they were interfering more than she liked-a lot more than she liked-but she wasn’t in familiar territory and what she should do now was back out.
So she backed out. Fast. Letting her eyes drop again to Lucky as she did.
He was so perfect.
‘I’m going out to the settlement with Cal,’ she said, and Emily smiled.
‘That’s great.’
‘It’s not great. But…keep Lucky safe for me while I’m away.’
‘We will, that,’ Hamish told her softly. ‘Of course we will. And in return, can we ask that you keep an open mind?’
‘An open mind and an open heart?’ she demanded, meeting his look head on. ‘Is that what you mean? If it is, I tried that five years ago and it
didn’t work. What makes you think it’ll work now?’
Megan woke and for a moment she’d forgotten. She lay in her sweat-soaked bed and let herself stay blank. Just for a moment.
But then her mother was there, holding her hand, sitting on the bed, terror flooding her face.
‘Dad,’ Megan whispered. She was accustomed to that terror. ‘Something’s happened to Dad.’
But it seemed that the terror had been redirected. The terror was for her.
‘Sweetheart, we need to get you to a doctor,’ Honey was saying, and yesterday flooded back in all its horror. Megan cringed.
‘No.’
‘You’re ill. You’re soaking in sweat.’
‘I’ll get over it.’
‘Megan, you must let me take you-’
‘There’s no must about it,’ Megan told her, fighting for strength to sound sure. ‘OK, I’m ill, but I’ll get recover. Tell Dad I’ve got the flu. Don’t let him near me. Tell him he’ll catch it. I’m sorry, Mum, but you’ll have to do my chores…’
‘Oh, sweetheart…’
‘Just for a day or two,’ Megan mumbled. The effort she’d made saying just those words had been too much for her and she was wilting. ‘But you don’t want to tell Dad anything else. Do you?’
‘Of course I don’t.’
‘There you go, then,’ Megan said wearily. To tell Jim was unthinkable. Protect him at all costs. ‘Leave it. Leave me be. I’ll be just…fine.’
CHAPTER SEVEN
WHY had she said she’d go out to the settlement with Cal? She must have been mad. But after a couple of hours of staying back at the doctors’ residence, watching CJ play with a pup he couldn’t keep, seeing every other doctors’ eyes on her, staying started to seem a pretty bleak alternative.
After the chaos of yesterday the hospital was quiet. Gina had thought she’d be needed for Lucky but Emily had been hovering over the little one, almost possessive. ‘Emily’s had a bad time lately,’ Charles told her. ‘She needs distraction and if that distraction’s the baby then we’ll let her be.’
This hospital was more of a family than a medical clinic, Gina thought, and Charles’s speculative gaze on her made her feel intensely uncomfortable. Who knew what he was deciding that she needed?
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